Euro-Avengers #3 Fanfic "I Reality Love You!"

Euro-Avengers #3 Fanfic
"I Reality Love You!"

Start.. how JJ returned.

We are in an all black room with only dim reflected light, the walls seem marble in texture, a spider climbs up a wall 2/3rds up it changes to a ball of light.. the now floating ball says : I CAN SEE!


The ball creates a screen on the far wall of the room. it watches all the events that happened since it last existed,


Ball: AH.. NOW I KNOW! I must never die, I must never die again! I existed as an anachronism, fragments left over from a fallen timeline..I will use this method to never die again.. EVER!


The room vanishes by being sucked into itself.


A man with a black coat, black eyes and black bowler hat begins briskly walking down New Bond Street, doffing his hat to people in a cheery manor. JJ is just happy to have 'new clothes' of a new body.

JJ thinks: 'This is a 'new book' for me.. I *may* even turn over a new leaf'

2 years later..

At the mobile base Braddock and Guillotine are *slightly* arguing..

Guillotine: And.. how is that exactly? I provide the financial backing for our.. 'adventuring'!

Braddock: I didn't mean anything by that. Listen, I misspoke.. [reframes his statement] 'heroic endeavours' .. and as Peri said.. you are too unwell to continue..

Guillotine: Alan has proposed a suit of armor.. much like Iron Man's. THIS will mean I *can continue*.

Braddock: We have been friends a long time.. you know I say this out of only care for your safety.

Guillotine: It's not that.. it's that it is patronizing, insulting you have such a lack of faith in my capabilities and resolve.

Peri: No one is calling you a fool. We do not know the capabilities of such a suit until Alan builds it.. is it more fragile than Iron Mans? Harder to control in flight?.. how well *can* Alan build it.. is it safe?

The door bangs twice and Peri hits the button.. the door lowers and Alan and Lep walk in with a paper bag..

Alan: McD's anywan? Bonnie French sunny dæy oot there. Me n' Lep hud oors. smashin'!.. ...  Wits up wæ awe *your* faces..??

Guillotine: Alan.. please, can we build my suit of armor quickly. today even?

Alan: Erm.. It doesnæ work lit that Gil.. First Ah need tæ inspect the pærts, then draw a schematic.. then make a prototype.. test efter test efter test.. no wa'nt ye tæ git hurt, testin' works oot the kinks.. then a 'redux' takin wit Ah learnt fæ buildin an testin' tæ make the first proper suit.. which will still need testin'.. should take aboot 3 months, an' Ah'm bein' slim wæ thyt coz Ah kin feel the eagerness fæ ye.. mare lit a year. 
Guillotine: you are kidding.. yes? .. [sad face] a joke?

Alan: Ohw flip! .. listen Gil.. we're friends an' everythin', meaning Ah'll try an' be ays quick ays Ah kin. .. but y'know Ah've no built a suit lit this afore, Tony Stark hus hud.. Ah dunno.. a million goes ayt iyt. Ah'v no. Ah'm just stærtin'.. so iyt'll take time.. yknow?

Guillotine: I understand. Well. Let's go!

Alan: OH!.. okay. Lep dæ ye wa'nt tæ come? Might be a bit bornin'.. might no.
Lep: Oh.. Ah'm fine fur dat. First time iyn France.. think Ah'll soak iyn some atmosphere.. few glasses o' wine an'awl [wink].

After Alan, Guillotine and Lep have left, Cap and Peri, as Ares was off world, they are alone enough to speak frankly..

Cap: Am I *really* the bad guy here?
Peri: I feel the same. I mean her arm is not hanging out the socket, but she can barely lift it without being in great pain. The doctor who came last week said it's all healed except for a little nerve damage, so we can assume it's because of the *other* properties of the sword.

Cap: At least Alan was speaking sensibly.. which to be honest; pleasantly surprised me.
Peri: I have known 'Gil' for the longest time.. she will not listen to Alan. As soon as she can fit inside the suit she will make it her own.. nothing Alan can say to her to make her to do otherwise.
Cap: Let's just *hope* for a miracle..

Meanwhile at Hallerom Industries..

Alan: Sooo.. that crate's go'at some boady panels an' some auto guidance circuits .. good find! these ur prolly the wans the man uses himsel!

Guillotine: Tre bonn!

Alan: Ah see wits been goin oan..

Guillotine: What do you mean?

Alan: Och Ah jist meant the suit.. how come Tony uses A.I. .. iyt's no an easy thing tæ control this set-up ken?

Guillotine: Ah! I see.. can you get an A.I.?

Alan: That's goiny be the hærdest pært.. Ah mean.. so far even iyn these crates we fun aboot 60% o' the original suit..but withoot an A.I. .. there's næ chance o' controllin' awe these gadgets. Flyin' a'naw.. we're missing the stabilizin' servos..
Guillotine: My engineers could probably fabricate them..not their field, but they are *very* smart.

Alan: okay.. okay. 
          aye..good. 
          We're missin the feet fur the rockets so far a'naw.. we huv mæst o' the torso, the legs, shudders, upper ærms.. missin' the heed, hauns an' faceplate.. hmm.. Ah think Ah could make thyt, the faceplate Ah mean.. no sure oan the heed. Ah mean Ah kin see the slot ayt the back o' the torso wer it comes oot.. but in oor torso.. iyt's no there. Ah dunno how Tony does it.. seems a sequential armor plating, but how oan earth he fits iyt awe iyn there.. Ah'm yit tæ discover!

Guillotine: And the hands?

Alan: The power regulator an' source we huv.. blastin' folk, naw.. cannæ be done. Ah could rig iyt wæ bullets.. no sure how tæ git a tiny mini-gun iyn there.. but could work somthin' oot Ah suppose.
Oar.. an electric blast.. but we don't huv the isolator circuitry.. Ah could make wan but that just means iyt'll be awe the longer.

Guillotine smiles and says: I understand... and most dearly, thank you for doing this for me! you have already earned your friendship from me.

Alan: Och.. don't talk lit thyt too much oar Ah might forget Lep n' hit oan ye! haha

Guillotine smiles: bien.

Sometime Later back at the Mobile Base, Widow-Spider and Guillotine are returning.. Braddock approaches them.

Guillotine: Hey Cap!.. that was a productive day!
Alan: Aye .. Ah fair enjoyed yon challenge a'naw!

Cap: Listen.. Peri and I have been talking, we are unhappy with the current.. 'situation'.. we are discussing teaming up together and going our own way. I just thought yous should know..

Guillotine is stunned.

Alan: IS this aboot me? .. aboot Lep?.. coz if yur dead set oan leen'.. mibe we could lee insteed?

Cap: This is about Guillotine's injury.

Alan: Well.. Ah dunno wit tæ say aboot thyt.

silence.

Alan: Och.. Ah think she'll be fine wance she's go'at the suit n' thyt.. jist takes time.

Cap: you *really* think Guillotine will listen to you once it's built??  She will not. fact.

Alan: C'mon.. ye huv tæ come n' go wæ o'er folks opinions..

Guillotine: Am I so pathetic you will not fight alongside me?

Peri comes out of the mobile base, having overheard the conversation..

Peri: Watching people die is not a sport. Often I have felt you treat our defense of humanity like a sport.. a hobby you participate in. 

Alan: OFFT.. don't haud back noo!!.. flip sake! brutal!

Peri: And who ARE you?? I feel Guillotine 'adopted' you so quickly..

Guillotine: ENOUGH! Alan is a new and powerful friend..

Peri: Yes.. it's the 'powerful' part I wonder about.. why do you hold on to him so closely??

Alan: WHOA.. Ah wis jist meant tæ be a pært timer.. a temp. Ah dinnæ wa'nt ony hassle guys..

Peri: And now we have a reality warper in our midst thanks to him..

Guillotine: THAT'S ENOUGH!

Braddock: No.. he has a point, we saw what madness in reality warping can do.. I like her, but we know reality warping and madness is a baaad cocktail.. I have had thoughts about this before for JJ, and now see it's appropriate for Lep, for her safety and ours.. she should go to Division 3.

Alan: WIT???

Braddock: Don't paint me as the bad guy here.. too many times I let things slide. and people died. She will come to no harm.

Alan stunned: 'Division 3 'iys wer reality warpers go tæ DIE!

Braddock: I'm not saying it to hurt Lep.. in fact I consider her a friend, I only want what's best for her.. including her mental health, c'mon Alan you know how hard she struggles with reality and being a reality warper.. that's not good, for us and for her!.. I have seen what a reality warper can do.. first hand Alan.. Jim Jaspers. I don't take that lightly.

Alan: So YOUR solution iys tæ lock her iyn a mental asylum fur reality warpers iyn a Division who cannæ help the wans they aweready huv??

Alan: She hus problems wæ reality.. an' yur sayin' tæ take the wan wee bit o' reality she hus away fæ her?

Alan stares intensely at Braddock

Alan: naw. speak again tæ mæ oan the matter an' ye know wit hæppens. She iys ma problem an' ma lassie tæ help ays Ah see fit, no yurs.


Lep has returned but is hiding behind the mobile base listening in, she thinks about Alan 'oh wow Ah LOVE dat man! 💖.💖' 

Peri: c'mon Cap let's go..
Cap nods.

Meanwhile..

JJ stands on a rooftop watching the argument with glee..

Thinking:

JJ: I'll follow Captain Britain and Peregrine.. they seem like they have some sort of plan.

At that moment..

Widow-Spider: OHW MA HEED!
Widow-Spider hits the floor in agony! grabbing his own head.
Widow-Spider: AH UM SO GOINY KILL WHO DID THYS TÆ MÆ!

Widow looks up and can 'sense' JJ..

WS: YUR FUR IYT PAL!

JJ shocked thinks: How can he see me??.. I have made myself invisible!?

WS leaps upon the building with one leap and punches JJ full force in the face.. we hear a loud crack as his jaw breaks.. which JJ then instantly heals, JJ punches WS in the stomach with the same force WS used to punch JJ's jaw.. WS doubles over in pain. JJ starts laughing.

Lep see's this..

Lep: OHW NO YOU DON'T! DATS MY MAN!

Lep creates a pocket universe and sucks JJ into it.. in that universe is a googlplexiant amount of WS's attacking JJ. JJ is slowly deteriorating even as fast as he can heal himself.

Guillotine: STOP.. do you want to prove Cap right? That you shouldn't be around other people?? Is your anger your only justification for murder?  How then are you different from him?

Lep stops making near infinite Widow-Spiders..

Lep: fair enough..

She leaves JJ floating in the pocket universe and floats up to WS on the rooftop..

Lep says sadly: you okay ma love?

WS coughs out: YE huv tæ bi jokin'.. that's how hard Ah hit?.. wow Ah hud næ idea Ah wis so buff..

Lep: Dats me fella! [wink] tough ays auld boots so ye know ye are!

Guillotine: Can you heal him?

Lep: Ah'm not a doctor dont'cha know? If Ah was.. sure wouldn't Ah be healin' yourself.

Guillotine: ohw.. I didn't know your powers worked like that.

3 hours later and the sun is setting.. the remaining trio are sitting on lawn chairs at the door of the mobile base, drinking tea.. Alan has bandages around his torso.

Alan: So.. somthin' Ah ay wa'nted tæ ask ye..
Lep: Go oan.. better no be cheeky mind!
Alan: If ye make food an' we eat iyt.. iys iyt real?
Lep: Ah hav not the foggiest clue.. but Ah widnæ advise iyt!.. me power isn't seemingly based oan imagination.. but what Ah know works. An' if Ah leave somthin fur a few hours.. it seems tæ vanish.
Like.. when Ah made da shower.. Ah know how a shower works, water comes up da pipe an' out da shower head. Water molecules remove dirt grime.. and *other* tings [winks]
Alan: hehe

Suddenly the sky turns black & street lights turn in to black suited men/women, who stun WS and Guillotine..

Agent: You're coming with us ma'am.
As they slap a collar on Lep.

Widow-Spider and Guillotine come round, seems around 30 minutes later... and Lep is.. gone!

WS: You HUV TÆ be jokin' mæ!
Guillotine: ohw no! .. .. ..  Listen.. we both need rest, can you wait for 2 hours or more so we can sleep and be fresh to find her?
WS: Ah dunno.. feel kinda dizzy. Iyt's been an exciting ho'ur oar so..

Meanwhile in Sweden Division 3 Facility, Cap and Peri are talking to a guard..

Cap: Thanks again for seeing me on such short notice.. everything was handled swiftly and smoothly. I just want what's best for everyone..

Agent: And so do we.. thank you for the tip!

Peri almost sad: And she will be treated with respect.. oui?

Agent: We have one of the most advanced facilities of this kind right here in Sweden.. she will have nice food, great therapy and most of all learn how to feel safe with her own powers without hurting others. 

Lep from behind the door..
Lep: LET MÆ OUT YE #'@##.. AH'LL STRING EVERY LAST ONE O'YEZ! #@=~#!

Lep has a 'Reality Check' Neckbrace. It is a neckbrace that contains a collapsing blackhole, the space inside is folded to contain the blackhole which is vast. 'bigger on the inside' one might say. It emits graviton particles that drain her power.

Back in France, Guillotine and Widow-Spider are rested.. they are combing the streets of Paris looking for clues while avoiding Hydra Agents.

WS: Ah dunno..
Guillotine: I know you are pensive..but what can we do? We do not know where they are..
WS: Try Braddock on comms..
Guillotine: I did.. but no reply.
WS: Peri?
Guillotine: Hmmm.. maybe.

The duo stop in a doorway, Alan is on the ceiling of the doorway while Guillotine stands underneath.

Guillotine: Peregrine.. please come in. Peregrine.. please come in.
Peri: What do you want? .. it is late.
Guillotine: Oh good! Lep has been taken hostage..
Peri interrupts:She's not a hostage.. She's with Division 3 in Sweden.
Guillotine: WHAT?
WS: OHW NO WAY!
Peri: While I feel bad for her to be locked away like this.. but it's probably the best thing for her.. besides I have teamed up with Cap now..
Peri: Why do you fight so hard to keep Alan on the team? he is new to us. Cap is a dependable friend. He deserves to be respected, he has earned that from us, Alan has not. 

Guillotine looks at up at Widow-Spider.. 

Guillotine: to Sweden!

The duo take the mobile base to Sweden.


Shortly after we see Lep's power has been halted as JJ returns to our universe..

JJ hits the floor panting..

JJ thinks: Crazy B*!! Wow she is powerful! I even made a secondary pocket universe inside hers.. she managed to follow me inside there.. I should probably avoid her in future.


The next morning Alan and a Division 3 Agent are in a Division 3 interrogation room..


Agent: Surprisingly, the lives of reality warpers are usually short ones, due to their continued threat to our existence. We extend their lives here.. they are unable to have 'normal lives' but we see they are comfortable for their remaining time within our society.

Alan: Iyt's the same auld story.. 'crazy iys ays crazy does.' An' wæ mæ yu'v no go'at a believer..

Agent: I am not good at understanding Scots.. please can you speak English? kindly.

Alan: I will try to accommodate you.. I do not believe you and this 'facility' are what's best for Lep..

Agent interrupts: Her name is Siobhán O'Connell..

The agent spins a tablet round to show Siobhan's Facebook and absence of 1 year.

Alan: That *is* good to know.. but it matters not a jot that my girlfriend hasn't posted in a while due to being 'unwell'. I support her regardless.

Agent: You have no idea what she is capable of..

Alan interrupts: NAW YE HUV NÆ IDEA WIT AH'M CAPABLE 'O. Ah huv a genius level intellect wæ awe the abilities o' Spiderman..
[Alan stands up and speaks while walking to the door]
so unless ye huv Professor X hiddin' up yur sleave. AH'M GOINY BURN THIS PLACE TÆ THE GROON!.

Alan exits the sliding door.

Later that night Guillotine and Widow-Spider are in the mobile base hovering over one corner of the facility..

Widow-Spider: Blast iyt!

Guillotine uses small rockets on the hovering mobile base to blast the corner of the facility.. which then heals itself.

Widow-Spider: Blast iyt again!
Guillotine: but..
Widow-Spider: Jist dæ iyt!

As Guillotine launches another round of small rockets.. Widow-Spider climbs along the bottom of the mobile base ..this time Widow-Spider jumps through the gap before the building can self heal.

Widow-Spider over comms: Ah'm iyn!

The place is on red alert.. the walls are *actually* red and flashing.. like the paint itself is changing colours.. red & white & pink.

Widow-Spider: Wit kinda madhoose iys thys??

The corridor begins to twist.. unphased Widow-Spider just walks the straightest path as it twists..gravity switches and miscellaneous medical carts and medical sundries drop to the new ground.. Widow-Spider again is unphased,.. walking forward he smashes the double doors, only for them to self heal..

Widow-Spider: Riȝht!

He approaches the door and gives a gentle push; it moves one inch before returning.

Widow-Spider: Ah!

Widow-Spider climbs up upon the double doors and starts jumping up and down as gravity switches to remove him he times it.. for the 1 inch per second he saw with the doors before. At the right timing he coincides with gravity to give a huge blow to the door.. and crashes through to the other side.

Guillotine breaking up over comms: You have been an hour at least Widow-Spider.. are you okay??

Widow-Spider: Wit?? iyt only been 5 minutes!

Guillotine: I can't hear you.. you are breaking up badl..[dead signal]

Widow-Spider: Well.. so much fur backup!

Widow-Spider looks forward and sees a empty black room and nothingness with a dim light in the distance.. he looks far above to the ceiling and sees a maze.

Widow-Spider thinks: wait a minute.. wait a minute did Peter no dæ an essay oan thys?.. iys thys no a famous maze??.. ayyyee.. If Ah jump up there somthin' bad happens.. n' the maze itself is infront o' mæ but awe the wa'z ur paint'it black.. its only the reflection o' the white top o' the wa'z Ah'm see'n in the ceiling ... aye so IF Ah just walk forward..

Widow-Spider then bumps into a seemingly invisible wall..

As we pan up we see he was correct.. the walls are painted black and the tops are painted white with only a dim light source, we see the ceiling which is a huge mirror.. with 20ft spikes that were a optical illusion as so to make them not appear to those below..

The Walls are 15 feet high.. but since he is also part Spider.. Widow-Spider climbs on top of the walls and moves towards the dim light source.

Once at the dim light source.. Widow-Spider sees.. a green garden.. no a an open field full of android children happily playing..

Widow-Spider to himself: naw.. no wæy! second as soon as Ah step in there.. they will awe turn n' rip mæ tæ shreds.. Ah've seen enough movies tæ know thys wan! Ah'm no daft.

Widow-Spider webs the entire ball of dim light.. and starts to drag it around. He can hear strange noises coming from the ball.. he rips open his webbing surrounding it.. and the scene has changed.
Now it seems like a cafeteria.. with the same strange flashing red wall paint.

Widow-Spider talking to the ball: Call me suspicious.. but Ah'm still no happy aboot thys!.. at NÆ point uh'm Ah goiny go through ony portal!


Widow-Spider webs the entire ball up again and begins punching it over and over again.. until a 'crack' is heard..

Widow-Spider: sounds aboot right!

He peels off the layers of webbing and as he does the room begins to shine brighter and brighter..

in the far corner of the room is a black door, Widow-Spider goes over to it and kicks it in with a thud..
On the other side are around twelve Division 3 Agents with firearms..

Widow-Spider: Aye thys is mare ma speed!

acrobatically bouncing around  he kicks one agent in the face while webbing another.. swinging on the web he just made to come round and with one punch knockout 3 agents.. while carrying a fourth agent between his feet.. throwing him in to 4 agents who have began shooting at Widow-Spider.. as he lands

Widow-Spider: 1 +3+1+4.. an' the wan Ah webbed lees.. you two!

Widow-Spider then webs them both and continues down the hallway.. once through another set of double doors gravity changes and Widow-Spider shoots a web to sling round.. as he does a girl standing on the new 'wall' that was the ground slices the web he was swinging on with a katana.. Widow-Spider hits the floor with a thud!

Widow-Spider: Hau! .. Ah wis usin' thyt!

The two engage in battle.. Widow-Spider bouncing around giving her slight jabs in the face as she struggles to strike him..finally Widow-Spider bouncing off the double doors gives her a crack! to the back of the head which knocks her out.

Widow-Spider exits the hallway to see a elevator..

Widow-Spider: No *usually* ma 'mode o' transport'.. but Ah cannæ be bothered wæ awe thys faffin' aboot!

Widow-Spider hits the button marked B for Basement..The elevator says: Please provide your security ID and password..

Widow-Spider: Ohw flip! Voice Recognition technology! no thyt Ah've go'at awe thyt! but still iyt couldnæ un'nerstaun mæ even if Ah hud iyt!

Elevator: Non compliance detected.
And then the elevator closes its doors instantly and releases a gas.

Widow-Spider: *cough* flip! *cough*.. NAW! NO WAY MAN!

Widow-Spider then webs his own mouth to use as gas mask..

Widow-Spider thinking: Ah know!.. Ah know! no healthy!.. but awe ma poison will dæ tæ mæ.. is make mæ slowly angrier.

Widow-Spider punches a hole in the floor of the elevator and drops down on a web. Once at the bottom.. which seem FAR deeper than he expected, he opens the elevator doors from inside the lift shaft.. to his surprise, there is Peter Parker.. and Aunt May.. Aunt May speaks to Alan..'Hello Peter.. I have so missed you since you have been away.'

Widow-Spider: NÆ DANGER! .. nahh. Ah'm aff iyt! Næ thanks! Awe those feelin's died oot the first night Ah spent iyn the cauld iyn ma hoose.. wæ næ food, soakin' wet.

Widow-Spider to anonymous telepath:

Widow-Spider: Yu'v go'at two choices either git oot ma heed.. OAR Ah find ye an' rip the heed fæ yur shudders.. yur choice!

The images of Peter and Aunt May ghost away..

Widow-Spider: smært choice.

Widow-Spider can see some laboratories and medical bays.. the area is a circle with hallway encompassing the floor and leading off to each room. The outer rooms have high grade solid steel doors and are numbered.. 

Widow-Spider can slightly sense they are also magnetic..

Widow-Spider whispers: .. weird.

Widow-Spider: Riȝht.. time tæ rip some doors aff!   .. naw wait! they huv wee windæs.. aye check thyt first.. ohw aye take the web mask aff.. forgo'at. ma poison gettin' mæ a bit hepped up n' thyt. bit confused.

Widow-Spider rips off the web mask and takes a deep breath.. then whispers..

Widow-Spider: Lep ma love.. didnæ worry yursel ma hen, ma hært.. yur man's a'comin'!

Then suddenly exclaims in realization;

Widow-Spider: THYTS WHY THEY'RE MAGNETIC! Soo ye cannæ sense whos behun thum withoot lookin! gotcha! So thyt means some o' thum ur a trap.. erm.. odds oar evens?..odds seems iyn theme wæ thys place.


Widow-Spider webs the first even door to check if his supposition is correct.. the small window turns into vortex and ingests the webbing..

Widow-Spider: aye.. riȝht enough.

Checking the odd doors one by one Widow-Spider sees all manner of strange things but says..

Widow-Spider: 'Normal folk' aye that wid warp their minds.. but wæ me.. ye huv tæ up g'uy early iyn the mornin' tæ dæ thyt tæ mæ.. Ah seen things thyt wid make yon look lit a wean's picture book.

Finally Widow-Spider finds Lep and rips the door off it's hinges..

Widow-Spider: ma love!
as they embrace..
Lep almost crying: oh ma darlin'! Ah wis so afraid Ah would'nt see'cha again!
Widow-Spider: haud still..

Widow-Spider rips the reality check collar off Lep..

Widow-Spider: næ worries ma love!

Lifting up his spidey mask .. they kiss.. a kiss that feels like a thousand kisses.

From behind them they hear.. clapping..

Widow-Spider: Wit??

'Admiral' David Haller steps out of the shadows.. and says

David speaking to Alan: I am impressed by your skills. ... Can I interest you in a job?

Lep answers in place of Alan sarcastically : Prolly not.. but Ah'm a bit short o' cash.. wit did ye hav in mind?.. eejit!

David: haha.. I like you. you both [smiles]

Lep: An' why exactly ur we trusting yourself??

David: It's simple logic.. trust me and see where it goes.. we already have seen.. *this* young man's abilities and his devotion to you.. OR have us fruitlessly hunt you over and over again.. but often inconvenience you when you least expect it.

David: I'm David Haller.. I hear you know something about my father's connection with Division 3?

David: Please come.. can we talk ..[David seeing their hesitation says]...you will see there is more potential harm to me than you.

David is escorting them to his office in which they get a mini-tour of the facility,

David: Officially we are 'The Division for Extraordinarily OverPowered Humans with Mutant Abilities,' TDEOPHMA.. 'T' Dof'ma'.. or as you so succinctly put it 'The Division'.. They made me head, traditionally known as 'Admiral'..

Alan: hæd o' the madhouse eh?

David: we don't think in those terms here.. and *I have actually been in a madhouse*  what we do here is nothing like that. You'll see.


David: I'm head because.. I am powerful enough to stop their reality warping encroaching on any of ours. Lep.. was a challenge, if it wasn't for the neckbrace, I don't know if I could have stopped her.

The group reach Admiral Haller's office.. they take seats..

David almost chuckling: So I hear you were going to 'burn this place to the ground..'

Alan thumps a small bomb with flashing lights on Davids desk..

Alan: aye. ... thyt shoulda done iyt. watch oot.. iyts slightly .. nuclear.

David is stunned.

David: I have never met Peter Parker.. but you are not him.. are you?

Alan: well.. Ah guess ye cud say bæth.. aye AND naw..

David: I see.. my father, Professor Xavier spoke fondly of him often, the *very* few times I spoke to my father, he would mention to me Peter's exploits with a favourable tone.. as if he was proud of Peter Parker, whom he shared no blood with, and disappointed with myself.. While I do not agree with the praise my father heaped on him.. no.. that's too bitter.. the praise my father graciously gave him.. one thing we agree on.. Peter Parker is moral.

Alan: High horse is it?.. then how come you sit there ays king wæ awe yur contemporaries locked up lit wee slaves.. ye huv næ idea yursel wits 'real'.. delusional!

David: Mononitiny is the greatest proof that reality is.. 'real'.

David: My job is slightly boring. That's how I know I am not trapped in another's mind or universe.. it's the only way I can keep track of reality.. and Lep here.. she hasn't had time to learn that yet.

Alan: No yur decision tæ make.. thyts oors.

David to Lep: Siobhán

Lep : Shuv oan what? Ah'm fine wit the clothes Ah huv t'ank ye very much!

Alan: Ohw Ah see wit yur dæn.. okay okay.. Ah like tæ think Ah'm fair minded..

Lep: Are you both takin pants oar what? Did Ah 'blond out' fur a minute?

Alan: Ma darlin' .. ye know how Ah feel aboot ye.. aye?

Lep: Aye.

Alan: A guy came.. an agent o' this place an' showed mæ somthin'.. he showed mæ yur facebook.. an' 'real' name.. Siobhán O'Connell

Lep embaressed: Don't you be playin' wit a girls heart now Alan McKay! If a girl looks lit me an' you hit oan her.. it'll no be 'threesomes' you'll be gettin! It'll be a crack to the jaw an' a 'onesome'!

Alan: obviously.. Lep's no ready.. in anywise o' you stickin' anythin doon her throat.. I'll rip the heed aff ye. Admiral oar no.

David: Okay.. I understand. This facility is here whenever SHE decides to use the beneficial amenities it provides.

Lep: yuz are weird! talkin' weird! iyts upsettin' mæ.

Alan: næ danger ma love.. we'll be oota here in a flash..

David: .. forgive me but.. that's not a threat about the bomb.. because I felt we worked that part out..

Alan: naw. we're fine. lee us alæn.

David: Okay.. Guillotine is waiting for you in the foyer.. she says to tell you she got bored waiting in the cafeteria..OH.. you've been going non stop for 2 days, we thought you'd tire out before this so that was one of the measures.. to extend time, you barely flinched. wow.

The couple are escorted to the foyer lobby by the Admiral and a few agents.. where they see Guillotine and Peri standing talking.. Alan nods at David as a goodbye, and David nods back respectfully..

We hear mid-part of Guillotine and Peri's conversation..

Peri: I had no idea what he meant when he said this place.. it was too creepy.. a creepy pasta waiting to happen..
Guillotine: Don't worry about it.. just work on making Braddock see.. that we're not all baby chicks for him to play mother hen to!
Guillotine: AH bonne! you return to us.. I had almost asked to rent a room here..
Peri interrupts: I just want to say sorry for any distress I have caused..

Alan and Lep look at each other..

: iyt's fine.

Lep: friends kin be asshats sometimes... as long as iyts only half the time with you bein one da other half.. iyts fyne.

In a dark room Admiral David Haller is talking to a blue wall called 'The Tide' .. The Tide is a supercomputer created by many reality warpers.. in theory it can answer any question put to it..

David: How was Alan McKay/Widow-Spider able to break the reality check collar? it's meant to be unbreakable?

The Tide: He would have undoubtedly broke his bones doing so..

David: But.. how??

The Tide: Love.

David is stunned.

--------------
THE END
---------------

Epilogue:

Inside the mind of The Tide.. The Tide is asking and answering questions to itself..


The Tide: What is Alan McKay's idea of 'heroism'?

The Tide: All indications point to Alan's 'cloned memory' remembering an alternate SHIELD timeline up until he was created.. then he is part of our HYDRA timeline..

The Tide: but he doesn't seem to know too much about it .. as HYDRA doesn't have much influence in Scotland.

The Tide: In this case his memory is anachronistic. He remembers SHIELD being heroic growing up as Peter Parker.. then being unheroic after that.

The Tide: Investigation commence sequence.

------
FIN
-------

Episode 2: Euro-Avengers 'Matter of Opinion' - Episode 4: Euro-Avengers 'Another Day in Paradise'


Click here ^^^
-------

Miss an episode?
See here:

Episode 1: Euro-Avengers - Assemble!
Episode 2: Euro-Avengers 'Matter of Opinion'
Episode 3 : Euro-Avengers 'I Reality Love You'
Episode 4: Euro-Avengers 'Another Day in Paradise'
Episode 5: Euro-Avengers 'What a Tangled Web We Weave When First We Practise to Perceive.." + BONUS 'Exposition Theater'
Episode 6 : Euro-Avengers 'BOSS FIGHT!'

------------

Tri-Annual 2018-2022: 

Part One:
Reality Avengers Tri-Annual Initiation.

Part Two:

The Ingenious Nighthawk-538

The Intoxicating Leprechaun 

The Dauntless Silver-Spider

Part Three:

Reality Avengers Tri-Annual Conclusion.

Euro-Avengers #2 Fanfic "Matter of Opinion"

Euro-Avengers #2 Fanfic
"Matter of Opinion"

The team sit round a campfire in the woods of a German forest, this is to be a 'little healing time' as Guillotine put it. They sit silently staring into the fire.. when Alan breaks the silence..

Alan: 'yknow.. Ah didnæ know that lassie.. næ bad tæ her but if this iys yon memorial tæ her fæ her friend's iyt no riȝht mæ bein here.'

Braddock somberly & authoritatively:
 'you're fine. stay.'

Alan: 'musical chairs this isnæ, your no ma bandleader.. besides ye promised mæ yon cash fur the job.. no riȝht tæ talk money ayt a wake..but see'n hows Ah wa'nt oot and yu'v no seen fit tæ gee mæ the cash.. well sadly Ah huv næ choice but tæ bring iyt up.'

Braddock: 'don't fear.. the arrangement is on going.. '

Alan shocked : 'on going???..' .. 'listen.. Ah know yur grievin' so Ah'll let that go fur noo. But it's hame Ah wa'nt tæ go.. tæ Scotland.'

Guillotine: ' I am sure you need not worry about any money from now on..'

Ares: 'SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! just some peace and quiet while we say goodbye to a dear friend.. is that too much to ask??'

Guillotine: 'I feel this too, but remember it is not the same for everyone who grieves. When my uncle died.. my aunt acted normally for months, except she bought endless flowers. It wasn't until months later she realized she was buying the same one he had bought her went they were courting that she broke into tears.'.. 'let us tell stories.. it is a campfire after all.. and Alan is new to us.' .. 'I did not know you could made weapons from yourself Ares.. how did you keep this secret? how did it come about?'

Ares: silence.

The team stare at him until he finally speaks.

Ares: ' I have lived for thousands of years.. a long time ago I was chief of Surtur's Armies in Muspelheim, I am actually of a forgotten tribe from Niflheim who escaped the cold to a place we called 'Olympus'.. a pocket dimension.' 

Guillotine: ' so you're Asgardian?'

Ares: ' No.. but we come from the same forebearer race, simply called  'The Ancient Ones.' My people were abandoned by those who would go on to be Asgardians.. stuck in horrid ice shelf of a land, deemed unworthy for our refusal to accept the Ragnarok and end of all things.'

Ares: 'At first Olympus was dark.. we took a mountain from Aesheim in Midgard.. we considered it a 'Limbo' this is where Olympus got its name..but after we lit a small star as a sun & we made it a great heaven for our people and a place to shelter from Ragnarok.'

Guillotine: 'Why then did you leave?'

Ares: 'I was just a boy.. I was a young, skilled, I thought I knew it all.. I had risen to Captain of the Guard of Olympus quickly. I decided that Olympus was 'too peaceful'.. that the people had become fat lazy and weak.. I summoned Surtur.'

Guillotine Braddock & Peri; gasp!

Ares with sadness in his voice: 'back at that time Olympus was twice the size it is now.. the battle was both quick and long drawn out, what I mean by that is, each action shifted weight of victory to one side or the other and it did not end quickly..I now reflect this was because the area was so small.

When the fires calmed.. Olympus was victorious, and I was branded a traitor, exiled to stay with Surtur.' .. 'Now you understand why I do not tell this story to humans.'

Guillotine: 'And the weapons?'

Ares: 'There is a forge in the depths of Muspelheim.. something like Nidavellir, but it does not forge weapons, it forges pain.' .. 'I entered in thinking it would be as any other forge. it is not. it is a torture chamber of the purest and simplest pain.. by the end of the process those who have fully underwent and understood what was taught can manipulate their lifeforce to create weapons... I hear Hela underwent the process also.'

Ares: 'I have shared much with you mortals, my friends, fitting we share in her death that we are still alive to share. next person.'

Guillotine: Merci beaucoup Ares. Alan would you like to share?

Alan: næ offense tæ the big guy there.. coz *that* wis a rockin' story! but naw.. yuz were awe shocked bi wit he said, think Ah'll keep the David Cronenberg nightmares Ah've hud tæ mæsel.

Guillotine: PLEASE Alan..

20 minutes later the team are sitting with their eyes bulging trying to process what Alan has just told them.

Ares: wow.. that's pretty messed up.

Alan: 'Peter hus næ idea hawf the things that went doon behun his back.. endless abominations, Ah wis lucky Doc Conner's gee up, If that Jackal guy wisnæ aweready deed Ah wud rip his heed aff a'naw withoot a thought..but nah. Sheer dumbness in the beginin' .. Doc Conner's hus high grade security wæ fingerprint scanners etc.. then lee's the sky light open incase Peter wa'nts in ayt night. ye couldnæ make this stuff up!'

Alan : and the best wan yit.. thinkin Peter's spider bite gee him cancer! That Doc Connors wa'nts smashed in the face.. arrogant wee gnaff.'

Guillotine: 'I feel.. like, I just lived a horror movie.'

Alan: 'Tell mæ aboot iyt!.. Ah telt Peter tæ coz Ah wis the voice in the back o' his heed.. 'naw don't dæ iyt, this guy is a chancer'.. but in American and no Scots. Needless tæ say; he didnæ listen.'

Braddock: 'That sounds crazy!'

Alan: 'Aye iyt wis!'

Braddock: 'No, I mean.. you were the voice in the back of Peter Parker's head??.. how does that work?'

Alan: 'Oh.. well Ah hudnæ e'er said that oot lood afore.. erm, but thyt's were Ah kinda come fæ, the mæst o' mæ iys Peter's suspicion an' anger.. iyt's awe linked tæ why ma spider sense goes nuts, gee's mæ yon migraines, ken?'

Braddock: 'no.'

Alan: 'well.. yur a auld enough lad tæ live wæ no known'! ya cheeky dan!'

Braddock faux fawnishly : 'I am *just* trying to understand your thought processes here.'

Alan grabs Braddock :' Ah'm no feirt tæ clock you wan.. wake oar no!'

A wash of terror goes over Braddocks eyes.. internally he remembers that same vibe Alan had when he smashed Doom to near pieces.

Guillotine : 'GUYS.. be cool.. stop! I think a squirrel stole the pringles!'

:PAUSE:

The Team erupts in laughter at the absurdity of the comment.. with even Alan backing off and giving a smile.

Alan smiling: 'Aye.. we'll huv tæ get yon squirrel banged tæ rights.. where'd'æ go?'

Guillotine: 'Weird thing.. must be a mutant or something.. looked ..green.'

The team split into groups.. Guillotine and Peri, Braddock and Alan, Ares volunteers to stay and 'watch the ale'.

The two groups separately search through the bushes and woods for the strange squirrel.. 

Guillotine whispers : 'you have been very quiet..'

Peri hushed voice : ' I will tell my story in time.. until then I think I have not much to say.. I think I am the cause, if I had not left her she would not have wandered, so then what is left to say?'

Guillotine: 'Such talk is foolish.. it was Doom who killed her. not you!'

Peri: 'This is true.. but will killing him bring her back, non, can I erase a mistake from the past, non, what left is there?'

Guillotine:' To learn from our mistakes and get better.. no one ever said this job was easy, we only have ways of learning to be less and less vulnerable.'

In a clearing we see a green girl in sexy green thick waves of lace, except revealing her legs and cleavage sitting half way up a tree, her clothes look like updated version of clothes from the 1700s, with two green squirrels bringing her food.. she is opening the pringles.. the green squirrels seems to be as ghosts and vanish.

Braddock comes through the clearing..

Braddock: hey young girl!.. those are our snacks!

Alan comes though also..

Alan: 'Braddock.. ye might wa'nt tæ clock the gear she's go'at oan!'

Girl: 'OH.. AH SHUDA KNOWN YEZ WIDA BE TI'GITHER!'

Braddock: 'She Irish..'

Alan palms flat arms outstretched: ' IYT'S NO WIT IYT LOOKS LIT!'

Girl: 'HMMMP!'

And she vanishes in a puff of green smoke.


Braddock turns to Alan and says : So.. 'it's not what it looks like' ..huh. what does that mean?'

Alan sheepishly: 'Well.. yknow..'

Braddock: ' Enlighten my ignorance.'

Alan: 'Well.. jist Ah'm no British.'

Braddock: 'Yes you are.. it is a matter of fact. Scotland is part of the British Isles and so you can never escape being British.'

Alan: 'says you. Naw I'm Scottish then a Gael.. næ British in mæ try the next shop o'er if yur lookin' fur that. næne here.'

Braddock: ' I am not arguing this. it's a fact.'

Alan: 'aye well.. tell *her* that if she comes back eh? Ah wa'nt tæ see her turn ye intæ a wee union jack squirrel.. that wid be funny, Ah wid jist aboot cry! haha'


Guillotine and Peri come through the bushes..

Guillotine: 'we heard a noise..'

Alan still laughing: 'Man.. twinty years in Stirling.. barely a thing.. few leather cooches launch'yt oot windæs durin fires.. an' noo this!'

Guillotine:' What happened?'

Braddock: 'A green girl was controlling the squirrels she teleported away in a puff of green smoke.'

Guillotine looks blankly at Braddock: 'Is that a joke?.. I don't get it.'

Alan : 'HAHAHA!.. ohw stop! yuz ur hurtin' ma sides'

The team return to the campfire.. Guillotine suspects Braddock was making fun of her.

Guillotine: 'Peri would you like to tell a story?'

Peri: ' bien.. When I was in my very early teens we would go to the beach at San Malo, the castle there in the evening dusk glows as if like made of gold, there was an old man who would sell ice cream and we would go to him every year we returned, one year he was not there.. it made me very sad. we did not return the next year and that summer, I remembered him, even though we were not there.'

At that moment the green girl appears in a puff of green smoke sitting next to the team around the campfire.

Girl: 'now d'ats a sad story! Ah love mæ ice cream! poor auld fella a'nawal!

the group get a slight start.

Ares: ' .. excuse me madam.. but are you some sort of green witch or a fairy?'

Girl: 'Begorrah! Don't ye know a Leprechaun when ye see wun?? read a book!'

Team: 'What??'

Girl: '  *fine* how-do-you-do! what'll ye be doin fur yur next trick.. thrown' paint ayt mæ??' 
Alan: 'How do you do? nice to meet you, my name is Alan.. what is your name?

Girl:' Are ye takin the mick??.. ye kin talk fine well a'nawal Ah herd ye!.. fur now yuz kin jist call me Lep.'

Alan: ' Ah! it's good to put a name to the pretty face :)'

Lep: ' Why'tcha bein' all weird?'

Alan: ' I am hoping if I talk like this enough when Braddock finally tells you off for something, you turn him into a green squirrel.'

Lep: ' HAHAHAH...ohw dat's a good wun! heheh!'

Braddock: ' hey! this is no laughing matter!'

Lep squints her eye at Braddock: ' Did ye jist tell mæ aff??'

Braddock: ' .. .. I hope not. Let sanity prevail.'

Guillotine: ' Welcome new friend.. but I comment that I prefer Braddock as he is. Where did you come from?'

Lep: ' From da woods jist now.. ye seen mæ surely!'

Guillotine : ' I mean *WHERE* do you come from?'

Lep: ' Ireland o' course! But ah wis in Bavaria.. lookin' fur those Bavarian Creams Ah herd so much o' oan the telly!' .. 'As ye kin see Ah did *not* have much success!' .. 'Thats when Ah made those squirrels an' told them tæ find mæ food.. pure starvin' so Ah am!'

Alan: ' Seems legit.'

Braddock: ' Oh! Come on!.. I have done some pretty mystical things in my time.. but this chick shows up like a mini Jim Jaspers..
Guillotine interrupts: We do not say that name.. it only empowers him.'

Lep:' Who's dat?'

Alan:' Och.. Ah dinnæ believe in awe that.. Ah believe in a personal relationship wæ God.. The Abrahamic wan.. the rest.. iys science gun wrang.'

Lep:' Ah believe in God.'

Alan to Braddock:' see?'

Braddock:' She *just* said she was a Leprechaun.. or did you miss that part of the conversation because you were too busy planning my squirrel-hood?'

Alan:' Ah'm fine.'

Ares drinks another ale.. then slowly and somberly says

Ares: 'I watched her die'
Ares: 'I watched her die.. by the weapon my own hand had forged.'
Ares: 'I watched her die.. by the weapon my own hand had forged.. and I was powerless.'

Alan: 'Sooo.. ur we sayin' iyts OK tæ kill Doom next time we see him.. because Ah'm totally doon fur thyt.'

Guillotine: 'non..'

Braddock: 'Doom is NOT easy to kill.'

Guillotine: 'this is true..'

Alan: 'But if he wis deed.. '
Guillotine interrupts: 'We also want him to pay for his crimes.. but we attempt to bring those whom have done wrong to justice.'

Alan: 'Man .. Ah knew this wis the wrang team! He does wit he does.. an' yus wid let him walk?'

Ares: 'I'll kill him next time I see him.. Widow if you want in, you're in. try to keep up.'

Alan: 'Will dæ.'

Braddock somberly: 'With the exception of Guillotine; Does no-one listen?..Doom is.. he is easily on a par with Merlin.'

Alan: 'Wait.. wit?? Merlin the Wizard??'

Braddock somberly: 'Yes.'

Alan: 'Dæ ye huv a stash o' crack ye've bin smokin' oan the sly?'

Braddock: ' I'm not sure.. let's ask the Leprechaun.'

Alan: ' Man! ye huv fantasized yur life awæy!.. Ah huv næ doubt that there's a guy who dresses up fur ye.. but Merlin he's no. He's probably an alien oar science experiment gun wrang. Tellin' ye nonsense fur years.'

Braddock: 'I am seriously not in the mood Alan.'

Lep: 'So yuz awl have code names aye?.. so ur yez awl a super team..o' superheroes an' thyt? Ah like those Avenger's.. pretty cool oan the telly!'

Guillotine: 'Oui.. The Champions of Europe.'

Lep: ' Never herd o' yez. .. an' how dæ yez know yez ur the 'champions'?.. bit presumptuous if ye ask me..'

The team hear a loud car in the distance..

Guillotine: 'That is odd.. there are no roads close to here.' 
Braddock: ' I'll suit up and check it out.. need a break anyway.'

Lep to Ares: 'Fine fella you are.. Ah've bin sitting here 10 minutes an' ye huvnay even offered a girl a drink!.. what is dat stout, beer.. ale?

Ares passing Lep a can:' Yes it's ale.. it's very strong.. so watch out.'

Alan: 'Special Brew strong?'

Ares: 'I do not know that drink.'

Lep: 'OHW.. dat's a drop an'a half!.. an' aye Alan.. like Special Brew but wæ a bit mær.. kick!'

Alan: ' OK we gettin' smashed?.. hopefully chat up Lep here-you're gorgeous by the way.'

Lep giggling: ' heheh .. now you remember Alan what-ever-yur-name-iys.. it'll be you who will be da squirrel, if I wake up unhappy in da mornin'.. ye big charmer ye!'

Meanwhile at the edge of the woods..

Braddock is flying above the tree edge, he can see an old black car driving over a dirt road, he can just-about make out the face of the driver.. as his sight locks on.. the drivers head slowly spins on its axis to face Captain Britain asif, detached from the body.. the driver mouths the words 'I know you.'

Cap: 'wow.. that was creepy.'

Back at the campfire Ares, Alan and Lep are pretty drunk..

Lep: 'how can ye be a hero if there' næ buildings tæ swing oan'
Alan: 'aye coz huvin super strength super agility.. iys a bit o' a disadvantage aye?'
Lep: 'oh aye didnt t'ink o' dat'

Ares: 'I seen a guy on fire once.. and for decades it never went out, we would use him for a location marker in Muspelheim.. because the place is pretty featureless.. so it was easy to know where you were.. coz you would hear the guy screaming, it was like sat-nav just keep walking until you heard him. did  I say decades?.. I have no idea how long it was.'

Alan: 'YOU ur a rockin' fighter bud!.. awe these o'er guys ur woosies.. but YOU rock it!'
Ares:' I thank you for your honesty and clear insight! .. today we mark our friendship! YAMAS!'
Alan: 'slàinte!'
Lep: 'slàinte!.. YAMAS!'

The whole time since Captain has been away Guillotine and Peri have been talking to each other directly in french somewhat separately from the group. We pick up with them at this point in the conversation..

...
Peri: But how then can you continue to fight the 'good fight'?? it's absurd!'
Guillotine:' it seems that way on the surface..'
Peri:' NON.. it seems that way because it IS that way!.. your injury seems like it will never heal, I do NOT want another dead friend!'
Guillotine: 'I can have a prosthetic enhancement to my arm.. I still have my suit of armor..'
Peri:' idiotic!'
Guillotine becomes very angry but also quite. Their sudden silence draws Alans attention..

Alan: 'Wit ur yez gibbering aboot?'

Peri: 'Guillotine will die if she remains part of this team.. she is not getting better and she has stupid ideas about a prosthetic enhancement while using armor..'
Alan: 'Wit lit Iron-Man?.. Aye Ah kin dæ thyt! watched a film oan the internet aboot Stark Industries an' some stuff .. aye Ah think Ah cud make her wan.. no cheap mind!'
Peri:' What??.. no offence but I thought you were living in a run down shed in Stirling..??'
Alan:' Och Ah've no go'at the internet iyn the hoose.. Ah use the library.. any tellys Ah huv ay end up smashed tæ bits ..'
Peri: ' No I meant..'
Guillotine interrupts: 'Wait! .. So you are saying you can build me a suit like Iron-Man? I can provide such resources.. in fact I own half of Hallerom Industries bequeathed by late Uncle; the other half is owned by Stark Industries!'

Alan: 'Cool!.. so kin ye get the parts?'
Guillotine: 'Yes.. Hallerom Industries is a engineering company for tech.. but only storage based tech. My uncle would be sad to see what has become of his company.. we are basically a huge warehouse for storing Stark Technologies.. for you Alan.. it will be like going shopping!'
Alan: 'groovy!'

Lep shouts over to Alan: 'yur not ignoring' mæ now are ye??' 
Alan:' naawww ma darlin'!..noo where's ma hug fur returnin'?'
Lep hugs Alan with a huge smile:'oohw yur a right wun so ye are!'

The next morning we see Lep stand up to face the sun, from her back we see her bare bum as she stretches out her arms with the sunlight crowning her side, Alan is lying in a heap of clothes used for blankets..

Alan smiles: ' Thyt wis aweright!.. but next time.. please ditch the green squirrels.. they wer puttin' mæ aff.'
Lep:' ohw!.. next time? OHW!.. aye lover next time næ squirrels Ah promise.' 
Lep then beams with happiness.. and thinks: ' AH GO'T a BOYFRIEND! woohoo!'

Lep creates a shower cubicle and begins washing, green steam pouring out the top & fogging the green glass, Alan is getting dressed as Braddock coughs loudly..

Braddock:'sorry about last night..bit on edge.. you know how it is.'
Alan: ' Aye well.. Ah know yur mournin' lit the rest o' thum. sæy næ mare aboot iyt.'
Braddock: 'Thanks, kindly.'
Lep: 'y'know a girls showerin' here!?'
Braddock:' Good Morning Lep.. We'll be going back to our mobile base, you are welcome to come with us.'
Lep: 'Ah wid hope so seein' Ah'm oan'de team!'


Both :PAUSE:.

Alan shrugs at Braddock..'næ idea.' 


Meanwhile as the rest of the team is getting ready to leave, Ares stands over the campfire and pours the last of the ale on the cinders..
Ares: ' goodbye dear friend..'

---
THE END.
----------


Episode 1: Euro-Avengers - Assemble!   ----------   Episode 3 : Euro-Avengers 'I Reality Love You'


Click here ^^^

-------

Miss an episode?
See here:

Episode 1: Euro-Avengers - Assemble!
Episode 2: Euro-Avengers 'Matter of Opinion'
Episode 3 : Euro-Avengers 'I Reality Love You'
Episode 4: Euro-Avengers 'Another Day in Paradise'
Episode 5: Euro-Avengers 'What a Tangled Web We Weave When First We Practise to Perceive.." + BONUS 'Exposition Theater'
Episode 6 : Euro-Avengers 'BOSS FIGHT!'                                                                                                        

------------

Tri-Annual 2018-2022: 

Part One:
Reality Avengers Tri-Annual Initiation.

Part Two:

The Ingenious Nighthawk-538

The Intoxicating Leprechaun 

The Dauntless Silver-Spider

Part Three:

Reality Avengers Tri-Annual Conclusion.

Euro-Avengers #1 Fanfic "Assemble!"

Euro-Avengers #1 Fanfic
"Assemble!"

Guillotine is in an alleyway in Paris, she is in the shadows watching..
We see a man pressuring a woman for money.

Guillotine steps out of the shadows
The man turns in terror..
at that moment Guillotines sword is snatched from her hand, and thrust through her shoulder and we hear laughing. Guillotine hits the floor and turns to a Doctor Doom standing over her.. he says < I was meaning to get round to this sword.. to add to my mystic artifact collection.. you did a good job of evading me, but now: death.>
At that moment Ares attacks Doom his chain on fire around Doom's neck
and Ares says: 'Not so fast! That's my friend!'
Ares opens a lava portal that begins to suck Doom in.. but Doom manages to shake free and flees, flying away still holding on to Guillotines sword.

Ares looks down and offers his hand to Guillotine..
Ares: 'Are you okay?'
Guillotine replies < I hope so.. >

Back at the mobile base Guillotine with a sad face is being patched up by Excalibur. she is quiet.

Cap is pacing, raging.. 'how could Doom do this, how could we be in this position?!?'..
Peri: 'Cap, If we rush in we will die, if we plan we will overcome, you need to relax.'
Cap: 'I don't *feel* very relaxed.'

Two days later..

Braddock is in London chasing down a lead, he is meeting an Latverian art dealer, they are having coffee and tea in a London bistro.

Dealer: what can I help you with?
Braddock: I believe you handled some rare artifacts in the last 6 months for a Latverian client, I would like that client's name..
Dealer: well I just can't do that.. for one it would destroy my business and secondly I don't know the full details.
Braddock leans in to the dealer and firmly grabs his arm..
Braddock: I need to know the name, address and specific artifact..
Braddock begins to squeeze the dealer's arm..
Dealer: 'aghghh..don't do this..' Braddock squeezes tighter. Dealer: 'aghgh okay okay.. it was a Scottish artifact the Celtic 'Talisman of Ruin'.. I met with the seller just outside of Stirling, he had a old black car and wore all black..'
Braddock: ' and your client?'
Dealer: silence.
Braddock squeezes his arm again.
Dealer: ' My King and great Protector of our People, King Victor Von Doom! he resides at the Royal Palace in my beloved Latveria!'
Braddock: 'I suspected as much.'

Braddock cleans himself up a little as he was disheveled.
Braddock: 'you have a good day.. knowing you are condemning innocent people to death.'

Braddock walks down the street thinking:
{Well.. I know WHERE to locate him. I can't do it alone.. maybe I should go get the team?.. is there anything I should do first?.. maybe I should go to Stirling and see if there any additional clues there.. anything, anyone who can help us?}

Meanwhile back at the mobile base Guillotine is still recovering from her wound:

Guillotine is angry and shouting at Ares..
< I'm FINE.. I can do it myself, you don't need to carry me around like I'm a helpless baby chicken>
Ares:'OKAY'
Guillotine puts her coffee in the microwave..
Excalibur:'You are lucky to still have your arm'
Guillotine:'Can you NOT say that for the 100th time!!'

Back with Braddock we see he is now at a train station in London, wearing an expensive suit..
{better keep this low key.}

three and half hours later

Braddock had fallen asleep and suddenly wakes up on the train.
Glasgow Central. The conductor looks at him and says.. 'we made good time!'
Braddock smiles politely at him and says 'yes.. thank you!'
Conductor..'wasn't me! hehe'

Braddock gets off the train and goes to Glasgow Queen Street Station.. while walking he looks around and the mood is different than he normally feels.

He buys a ticket to Stirling at the kiosk and at that he hears the conductor whistle 'ALL ABOARD FOR STIRLING! LAST CALL'
Braddock *just* catches the train sits down.
{I must be nuts coming all the way up here.. but that's why this happened, no preparation, gungho style, like always, like amateurs}

Meanwhile Ares is doing some recon of his own on a rooftop in Latveria, over his shoulder we see the Castle Von Doom upon a hillface.

{hey *they* maybe nervous of Doom.. but I kicked his ass.. I'll just walk in there and show him what's what and whos boss!}

Braddock is alighting at Stirling Station.. it's around 5pm.
{now.. he said just outside Stirling..}
After walking around the outskirts of Stirling for 30 minutes Braddock see's the tracks left by the old black car {looks 1940s.. very strange.} He looks up and see's a croft with a smoking chimney nearby {perhaps that person knows something.. perhaps they can help?}

A man is outside chopping wood as Braddock approaches..
Braddock:' Hello there..I was wondering if you could help me.. it's a matter of great importance involving one of my friends.'
Man: 'naw. go awæy.'
Braddock: 'come on.. you can't be *this* unfriendly surely?'
Man: 'excuse me? Ah telt ye go. noo go!'
Braddock: 'Hi I'm Brian Braddock.. I am awfully sorry to interrupt but I *must* find out everything I can to help my friend.'
Man: '*Hullo Ma Name's Alan.* Ah said go, n' ye didnæ listen. noo Ah'm goiny knock ye oan yur ass.'
Braddock: ' I REALLY DON'T think you will knock me on my ass. I can fight.. you have been warned.'
Alan walks up to Braddock and punches him into the air in an arc that lands Braddock two fields away. Then Alan says:
Alan: 'shut iyt! ..done.'

Meanwhile back in Latveria..
Doctor Doom has Ares tied to a large mystical looking statue of Surtur and the Talisman of Ruin around Ares neck while Ares screams in agony..

Doom: 'you think you could walk in my house.. MY HOUSE and teach me a lesson in pain? I invent new pains everyday!'
Ares: 'AAHGHGG'
Doom: '.. you're Ares.. I have heard about you, you can make weapons of great power.'
Ares: 'I won't do it!'
Doom: '.. hmmm.'
Doom intensifies the pain.
Ares: 'AAGHAGH!'

Back at the mobile base Excalibur is trying to heal Guillotine.
Excalibur: 'I can't heal it any further, it must be because it was caused by your sword'
Guillotine: ' where is everyone? I just noticed.. Braddock is gone and so is Ares.'
Excalibur: ' Braddock said he had a meeting in London to get information on Dooms artifacts..but I don't know where Ares is.'
Guillotine: 'I am pretty unwell..but you could ask Peri to try to track Ares down.. we may need him, if Braddock comes back with good intel.'

Back in Stirlingshire Alan sits by his door waiting for 'that English guy' to come back..
Alan: {if he can still walk.. he seemed determined..}
Braddock comes round 20 mins after Alan knocking him out, gets up and proceeds to go back..

Braddock: 'WAIT WAIT WAIT.. don't hit me! you're obviously a powerful guy,
/Alan under breath: ye huv næ idea!'/
But I haven't shared something with you.. I'm Captain Britain.'
Alan: 'oh thyt hInglish guy.. fighting yon Nazi lookin guys.. aye Ah saw thyt oan the news.. '
Braddock: '..well British.'
Alan: 'If yur including mæ, thyt is a matter o' opinion.'
Braddock: 'Right. .. .. have I gained enough respect from you, for ONE answer to ONE question.'
Alan: 'naw.. bit go oan amuse mæ!'
Braddock: 'did you see a man dressed all in black with an old black 1940s car driving near here?'
Alan: 'The weirdo?'
Braddock: 'Weirdo?'
Alan: ' Aye there wis this guy awe in black, lang black o'wercoat wæ a black bowler hat.. Ah looked ayt him n' he gee mæ a bit o' a heidache.. didnæ like him, that's how come Ah remember yon.'
Braddock: looks in silence at Alan.
Alan: 'SO?.. Ah dinnæ ken anyhin' mær aboot him. looked hInglish, no Scottish. he hud black eyes a'naw.. ah dunno if thats o' any importance.'
Braddock: looks in silence at Alan.
Alan: ' hmph..riȝht Ah'll git ye a towel.'

Back at the mobile base..
Peri: I'm tracking his last location via satellite.. he was last seen.. in Latveria 
Guillotine: < we MUST GO.. he has no idea how powerful Doom is!!>
Excalibur: < you can't go!! you are too injured!>
Guillotine is humiliated
Guillotine: 'bien.' (okay)
Peri: < We will go and try our best to retrieve him, if we cannot, we will return and wait for Cap, then all three of us will attempt a rescue.>
Guillotine: < WHERE IS BRADDOCK?>

Stirlingshire at Alan's door on a bench and chair..
Braddock wrapped in a large towel..{I wanna recruit this guy!.. also he seems vaguely familiar.. where do I know him from?}
Braddock: 'I'm kinda cold.. can we go inside?'
Alan: 'Ah'm fine.'
silence.

20 mins later and Alan has dozed off
Braddock needs the toilet and goes inside.
He is shocked to see the blue spiderman costume drying next to the open fire.
Alan walks in behind him 'nosey git!!'

Braddock: 'That answers a LOT of questions!'

Meanwhile Peri and Excalibur are in Latveria..
They are assessing the Castle..
Peri: on comms 'We need access to the Castle, perhaps there is a sewer on the blueprint that you can guide us?'
Guillotine: silence.
Peri: 'Guillotine please respond! please respond Guillotine.'
Excalibur : 'Guillotine come in!'

Guillotine: 'I'm here..but I can't.'
Peri: 'The blueprints should be on your monitor, if you have closed them by accident, click on the folder on the desktop it should have all the files we need in there.'
Guillotine: < it's not that.. I was making myself a coffee and.. I fell over, then I accidentally trapped my arm in this metal support for the bunk reaching for my coffee mug.. I can't stand up. everytime I try to move, my shoulder is an agony.. this happened 30 mins ago, but I was too embarrassed to say.>
Peri: 'wow..I could come back.'
Guillotine: < NO! I'm fine for now>
Peri: < I *just* don't feel right leaving you there.. helpless. Excalibur please wait here, I will return as soon as I can.>
Guillotine 'NO!'
Peri leaves Excalibur on a rooftop.

Soon after Excalibur climbs one of the castle towers and through a window she sees Doom in a castle studyroom.. he seems sad, and removes his mask..
Excalibur: {I can help heal him and return him to truth.}

Stirlingshire..

Braddock: 'YOU HAVE TO JOIN US! I'm not saying that like a demand or anything just.. we need you!'
Alan : 'Ye jist met mæ. Ye huv næ idea wit Ah'm lit.'
Braddock: ' You're a Scottish romantic right??.. my friend that I was helping is.. French!'
Alan: ' ohw!.. look Ah'm no wa'nt tæ help anywan. jist wa'nt lee in peace.'
Braddock: ' I know Peter Parker! He is one of the most noble and inspiring people I ever met..IF you want the world to know that 'Scotland' is good.. you have to get out there and show people!'
Alan: 'Ah think they ken fine.. naw wit you wa'nt is a wee dancin puppet wæ muscles ye kin point at folk ye dinnæ like and sæy 'sick 'em!' Braddock.. that's no me bi ony measure oar long shot!'
Braddock: 'You seem angry..how would you like endless 'bad guys' to beat up?'
Alan: 'Iyt's no the beatin up that piques ma interest!
Alan grabs Braddock and stares him straight in the eyes
Iyt's thit AH WA'NT TÆ KILL THEM!"
Braddock: Y'know.. we aren't squeaky clean either, we've been through some messed up stuff..'
Alan interrupts
Alan: 'BUT AH LIKE IT! makes me feel.. somhin! it's lit 90% o' ma emotions ur rage.. rest ur vagrants hinging aboot efter clæsin time!'
Braddock: 'ONE job. I'll pay you. At least meet the team.. two of them are French.'
Alan: 'Ah'm no needin' ony hInglish money.'
Braddock looks around at the old stone house from 200 years ago and sees the moldy bread on the sideboard..
Braddock: 'yes. yes you do.'
Alan: silence.

Peri is back at the mobile base helping Guillotine..
Guillotine: < AAGH! if I wanted to pull my arm off I would have done it already!>
Peri: < just relax.>
Guillotine: Do you think I am TRYING to be tense?

Excalibur over comms: < I am going to try to reach Doom.. he seems like he needs someone to heal him.>

Guillotine:NO!
Peri:NO!

Excalibur goes along the castle walls and enters a side door, she is two rooms away from the studyroom we saw Doom in earlier.

She quietly walks along the adjoining hallway.
Excalibur: {odd. there are no guards..}
She hears groaning from one of the other rooms and peaks inside,
there she sees Ares tied, exhausted.
Excalibur : 'be quiet and I will untie you.'
Ares: 'noo he's here'
Excalibur looks around and Doom is standing there, he had been out of her line of sight when she came in.

Doom lifts his hand.. and Excalibur the sword comes to him.. for a moment he experiences great pain, but taking a druid artifact from his pocket he wraps it around Excalibur the sword and the pain stops.

Doom: 'Well this IS a fine weapon! I am fast beginning to have a great armory!'
Doom pulls out an Ares chain and whips it around Excalibur's throat.. he then plunges the sword into her cutting her in two, as she is in two the chain begins to burn hotter until she is turned to ash.
Ares: 'NOOOOOOOOooo!'

Doom: 'I like it.. it has 'style'.. I think you will be my weapons making factory for some years to come!'

Braddock and Alan are at Pancras International Train Station in London..
Braddock: 'did you bring it?'
Alan: 'shut it.'
Braddock stares at Alan in silence.
Alan: 'aye. bæth the suit an' the passport.'

Braddock: 'it'll be quick then we can group with the others and get centered.'
Alan: 'Ah hear France iys a bit o' a nazi clown circus riȝht noo..'
Braddock: 'We'll just keep our heads down and we should be fine.'

Back at the mobile base.

Guillotine over comms: Excalibur come in. come in Excalibur.
Peri:Excalibur respond please... perhaps she is out of range?
Guillotine: < We both know these are satellite comms.. they don't go 'out of range'.>
both look at each other worried.
Guillotine says sadly and slowly: where is Braddock?

Braddock and Alan are close by.. walking up to a checkpoint.
Hydra Guard: < identification papers please!>
Braddock hands him some papers.
He hands them back.
Hydra Guard: Identification papers please!
Alan hands him some papers.
Hydra Guard: < some of these papers have expired.>
Alan speaking French < I am very sorry about that, I'm Scottish and don't travel much.>
Hydra Guard: It's okay for now.. just make sure you update those papers as soon as possible.
Alan: I will.

They walk away and Braddock says:
'You speak French??.. that'll be handy here.'
Alan: 'Romantic mind?'

We see from inside the mobile base.. and hear a 'thunk' of the door being opened..
Braddock closes the door behind them.
Guillotine: < WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?>
Peri:'Good to see you Cap.'
Guillotine looking at Alan:< who is this?>
Alan:< Hullo, I am Alan Mackay, Braddock says I can help you with a.. job?>
Guillotine: This isn't a workplacement for normal people.. you will get yourself killed..
As Guillotine is saying this Alan begins to walk around the mobile base until he is standing on the ceiling..
Alan: 'please continue..'
Guillotine: '.. this will be handy! good find Braddock.'

20 mins later and everyone is up to speed on the current situation.
Alan and Braddock are suited and booted.
Guillotine:< What should we called you in the field?>
Alan:'The Widow-Spider'
Guillotine: 'It's a bit long, but you have to earn your nickname.'
Alan:< normal for everywhere.>
Alan smiles.


Alan: 'Let's hit the toon!'

Two hours later and Cap, Peri,Widow-Spider are at Castle Von Doom sneaking in the same door Excalibur did.. and down the same hallway.
Widow-Spider hits the floor in agony..
Alan: 'Ma spider sense iys goin aff the chart!..
Oh Ah'm so goiny kill who did this tæ mæ!!'

The doors fly off the room Ares is being held..
Doom floats out..
Doom: 'There's more of you? well isn't this just my day for benchmarking on target practice dummies!HAHA'

Doom makes both swords fly out and they hit Captain Britain pinning him to the wall, but The Widow-Spider doesn't miss a beat..

His acrobatics give Doom a hard target to hit..
Doom: 'so it's more than just a costume.. your 'like' him.'
Widow-Spider : Ye huv NÆ idea pal!'

Alan grabs Doom and knocks him to the floor, webs him and grabs the web, then leaps on top of him repeatedly smashes his face, then Alan *snaps* and starts shouting

YE STOLE MA LIFE, YE STOLE MA LIFE

Doom's mask begins to break. the whole time this has been happening he has been channeling pain toward and using mystical weapons against Widow-Spider..but no reaction.


YE STOLE MA LIFE, YE STOLE MA LIFE

Dooms mask is almost shattered.. he begins to worry.
Peri releases Ares..
Ares: 'NOW WE GOT A FIGHT!'
whipping his hand out a chain appears from it.
Doom struggles to get free and manages to as Ares begins to make a lavaportal below him

Alan sitting in a daze on the floor whispers: 'Doc Connors ye stole ma life..'

As Doom escapes by ramming and flying out the studyroom window.

Guillotine on comms: Sounds like we got Ares back.. don't wait! Doom won't be afraid for long..
Alan whispers now standing, stunned.. : 'doc connors.... doc connors..'

Peri free's Cap of the swords.
Peri: < Well at least these can be returned> he says smiling at Cap.
Cap smiles back. just then.. a sharp whistling sound they grab their ears and the swords are gone.
Alan: why did ye'z let the swords go? Ah saw thum fly oot the windæ.. man this hus bin a weird bit also therapeutic dæy fur mæ.. Ah'm knacker'yt. Wer's the pizza ayt?'

END
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NOTE: flippin blogger wiped half the dialogue coz I must have been using an html operator with < > and  : if they are French they are speaking French nothing I can do.
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Episode 2: Euro-Avengers 'Matter of Opinion'

Click here ^^^

-------

Miss an episode?
See here:

Episode 1: Euro-Avengers - Assemble!
Episode 2: Euro-Avengers 'Matter of Opinion'
Episode 3 : Euro-Avengers 'I Reality Love You'
Episode 4: Euro-Avengers 'Another Day in Paradise'
Episode 5: Euro-Avengers 'What a Tangled Web We Weave When First We Practise to Perceive.." + BONUS 'Exposition Theater'
Episode 6 : Euro-Avengers 'BOSS FIGHT!'

------------

Tri-Annual 2018-2022: 

Part One:
Reality Avengers Tri-Annual Initiation.

Part Two:

The Ingenious Nighthawk-538

The Intoxicating Leprechaun 

The Dauntless Silver-Spider

Part Three:

Reality Avengers Tri-Annual Conclusion.