Euro-Avengers #5 Fanfic
"What a Tangled Web We Weave..
When First We Practise to Perceive.."
Ares has left to 'collect a favor' as he put it.. the team are at Hallerom Industries.. continuing further testing of Guillotine's suit.. Adam is waiting.. however he is often looking at the team like they are 'hobo's discussing politics'.
Guillotine: My uncle would have loved seeing us do all this stuff [beams with a smile]
Alan: Ye know.. yur company's name iys lit David Haller's name.. any relation?
Guillotine:.. strange .. but really no.. [sober tone] my uncle's surname was Hall.. and the company's name in the 1970s was Hall-EROM.. he sold EROM chips in the early days of computing, but people just kept calling it 'Hal -er-om' .. eventually my uncle just give up and called it.. Hallerom Industries.. weird thing was people really took to that name internationally, made serious money this way.
Alan at the console: Thyt's Hank an' Dave's AI loaded.. they wur a bit worried iyt wid clash wæ the suit.. let's fun oot eh?
Guillotine: Oui.. I thought Tony was nice enough.. but like the guys said he was being all snobby with us..
Sparks fly from the suit
Guillotine: OW .. OW..
The suit catches fire..
Alan uses a fire extinguisher on Guillotines suit..
then a loud voice..
Neural.
Interface.
Spectral.
Spacial.
Assistant.
N.I.S.S.A IS ONLINE.
Initiating procedural com-visor check.. verbose.
The suit starts firing each flight thruster in sequence..
flight check.. OK!
GPS GUIDANCE AND SERVOS .. OK!
WEAPON SYSTEMS.. 60% NOMINAL
ARMOR INTEGRITY.. 45%
RECOMMENDATION: SERVICE IS REQUIRED.
Hello.. I am Nissa, how can I serve you today ma'am?
Alan: He's a bit.. English..
Guillotine:I like him.. he has one of those TransAtlantic Accents from the 1940s.. sounds a bit like Frasier .. or Cary Grant [smile]
Nissa: I see I have the option to change to a female voice if ma'am would prefer?
Alan and Guillotine speak at the same time with opposite answers (YES!/NO!).. then..
Guillotine: NO!..I'm the one in here with him.. my suit I choose huh?
Alan: Ah suppose.. huv ye heard fæ Braddock?
Guillotine: Didn't we talk about this .. when in company, you are to call him .. ???
Alan: aye ok.. any word fæ.. Captain Birdseye? [smile]
Guillotine [silence]
Meanwhile.. in London on a skyscraper patio rooftop.. Captain Britain is having tea with 'Admiral' David Haller a.k.a Legion. They are discussing JJ..
David: So you are *sure* he is dead?
Cap: I seen him die myself. .. However, a friend informed me that he *may* still be alive.
David: Well.. you would probably know best where to find him.. How is Lep? Is she settling in with the rest of the team?
Cap: team.. well.. I can't count myself part of that at present..
David: Cheer up.. I'm sure it's temporary.
Cap: I'm not so sure.. ever since I recruited 'Widow-Spider' his disrespect of me, a long standing member has been clear.. however I am not too sure of just letting him go.. his strength and skill often impresses.
David: Can I afford you a suggestion..?
Cap: shoot!
David: You are waving a flag at him that he hates.. it's sewn into your very suit .. perhaps it is not YOU he trying to disrespect.. but you representing something he finds.. evil. I am american.. and of course do not feel the same, however he is not.. and perhaps to him.. representing that flag means you are.. representing evil.
Cap: This is my heritage.. I am proud to do this and give personal sacrifice to do so..
David: But that's NOT HIS heritage..
Cap: Yes it is.. whether he likes it or not..
David: .. .. and there is your problem. 'his heritage whether he likes it or not' he obviously doesn't..and you are making him resent it the more effort you put into making him accept it.. can I make a suggestion?
Cap:... hmmm.. I suppose..
David: OKAY so you *are* Captain Britain.. but.. why can't you be Captain England as well?.. waving a flag you have every right to be proud of as an Englishman.. and not forcing him to accept something he resents..
Cap: I'm a quarter Welsh.
David: One thing at a time..
Across the other side of the planet In the Hellfire Club in Boston, Massachusetts.. Ares is sitting drinking some 'Bull Brand LITE' while seemingly waiting on someone..
Ares thinking: 2 hours.. you think he would be on time so we could start?
A waitress with red skin and red horns comes over..
Waitress: Hi I'm Patti.. Can I refresh your drink while you wait on Mr. Lehnsherr?
Ares: Hi Patti.. y'know I am not made of money or time.. I hope your boss will be here soon!
Patti:.. y'know this *isn't* a real Hellfire Club.. they are based out of NY these days..I'm surprised 'my boss' asked you to meet here..
Ares: As am I Patti..
At that moment Magneto comes in the bar and see's Ares and comes over to the table..he speaks to the waitress..
Magneto: Lemon Schnapps, and a beer with whiskey chaser. thank you Patricia. ..[sits down] How can I help you Ares?
Ares: You remember the 'favor' I did you.. providing the transmogrifier circuitry? time to call in that favor.
Magneto: That is WHY we are here yes.. but what is it that I can do to repay *that* favor
Ares: Doom killed a friend. We're going to kill Doom.
Magneto: wow.
[silence]
Patti comes with the drinks and a fresh drink for Ares..
Magneto: Thank you Patricia. ... .. I don't know what to say Ares. He's probably the most powerful human alive that doesn't have reality warping powers. I have tried to kill him before on several occasions without success.
Ares: We have a reality warper, a Spider-Man and the Power Cosmic..
Magneto: wow.. good start! I can't really argue with any of that..but still.. he has a dozen macguffins for every occasion.. it is part of his 'hobby' to be prepared for every possible situation.. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if already knew or predicted your plan and had been busy countering it..
We flash back to two weeks ago..
Doom is standing in his library, a citizen of Latveria is talking to him..
Citizen: Most humbly Lord Von Doom.. my cousin is a guard in Division 3, he knows no worth of the information he gave me..but I knew these people had opposed you before, so I remembered it.
Doom: Go on.. I am sure no matter the information you will be richly rewarded for your loyalty..
Citizen: My cousin said.. they have a reality warper as part of their team..
Doom interrupts: This is very strange.. Captain Britain has an aversion to such people.. are you *sure*..
Citizen: Yes my Lord Von Doom. Quite certain. She claims to be some sort of Leprechaun..
Doom: Yes.... .. tell the butler to give you 100 gold florins when you leave, I am sure you will not tell him more than I wish.
Citizen: Oh yes.. oh mighty and wise ruler!
The Citizen exits.. and Doom rises, walks over to his wall safe and takes out a small old leather coin purse.. sits at his desk..
Doom thinks: I very much doubt she is actually a Leprechaun.. seeing how I killed the last one 10 years ago to get this treasure.. he wouldn't shut up about being the last of his kind..
Doom thinks: The Coins of Fate [as he empties and counts the gold coins].. it reads in their language: whatsoever you do to others with this coin will do done to you also..
Doom thinks: I am not keen on using these.. but if I am dealing with a reality warper.. it will be prudent to have them 'just in case'.
Back in London, 8pm, Cap has tracked down JJ.. he was staying in the Ritz Hotel London, Cap approaches him in the foyer as he tries to go up to his room..
Cap: Jim Jaspers!
JJ sadly: Oh flip!
Cap: You need to come with me.. do not try and harm these innocent people.. I am ARMED!
JJ: Wait.. wait.. listen..can we have a drink please?.. just listen..
Cap: WHAT?
JJ: The bar is *right* over there..
JJ begins walking towards the bar.. Cap is a little stunned.. but watches with bemusement.. JJ sits down at the bar and says:
JJ: Lime cola and gin please.
Cap cautiously walks up and slowly sits on the bar stool next to JJ
Cap: Whats the jig?.. you're saying 'please' to normal people now??
The female bartender gives him his drink
JJ: Thank you.
Cap: NOW I NEED to know what going on.. saying 'Thank you'?? This is turning into morbid curiosity.
JJ: OK.. so I died. I realize this. I don't want it to happen again so.. I am turning over a new leaf!
Cap: Say what now!?
JJ: I entered *this* reality due to an anachronism in this timeline.. being a reality warper myself, if I can be remembered I can be brought back..
Cap: What do you mean *this timeline*.. and also we figured as much..
JJ: I just *don't* want to die ever again.. it's that simple. I was killed before.. I respect that.
JJ:Ultimately.. I would like to join the team.. so *that* team is NOT trying to kill me perhaps we could beat Doom together then yous wouldn't try to kill me.. or even kill me less often.. I knew if you guys freaked out.. you would be more willing to the idea of.. well.. perhaps inviting me into your team.. And .. honestly I have turned over a new leaf.. I even had an argument with a shop assistant whom I did NOT kill or harm in anyway.. well except to say I wouldn't be back; that they had lost my patronage.
Cap: [silence]
JJ: I can count on you to remember and think about me. [smiles]
Cap: You are as nuts as ever.. there I was thinking.. well.. maybe he's went crazy in a good way.. but no 'I want to never die'.. crazy evil as ever!
JJ: Hmph.. This isn't the original timeline.. a part mutant /part cosmic cube called Kobik, has altered the timeline to make Hydra much more powerful.. in the SHIELD timeline.. I was dead without hope of return.. when Kobik changed the timeline.. yes I was dead but things had changed significantly enough I could get a foothold and return.. I imagine soon enough this timeline will return to the SHIELD timeline.. and everyone will be 'reset' .. Welp obviously.. I don't want that to happen to me.. because that means my perma-death.
Cap: This is the way it has always been Jaspers..you can't just creep around in the shadows avoiding death.. it HAS to end sometime.. like it does for everyone.
JJ: I disagree.
Cap: I don't.
Cap slaps a 'reality check' collar on JJ..
JJ: NOOOO
Cap: your coming with me.. to Division 3
JJ: You realize.. you just arrested me with a rhyme..[annoyed] how humiliating!
Back at Hallerom Industries.. it's very late and everyone has gone home.. only Alan is left working on the suit..
A voice from both the shadows and the past rings out..
Voice: Hello..
Alan: Peter??
Peter walks over to where Alan is working..
Peter: Who *are* you?
Alan: Ah um yur suspicion an' anger!
Peter: What??
Alan: Wit ur ye dæn here anyways?
Peter: Tony Stark mentioned you, I'm assessing how much of a threat you are.
Alan: ye huv næ idea.. noo git lost afore ah gee ye beatin' thyt makes ye feel lit Jonah wen ye wer first haunin in yur photos
Peter: Whaa.. What are you talking about?
Alan: AH WIS THE VOICE IN THE BACK O' YER HEED THYT WIS sayin 'DIDNÆ TRUST DOC CONNER'S HE'S A CHANCER..' but 'naw..his assistant hus the same name as ma gran' wis enough tæ shut that thought process!
Peter is stunned
Alan: Aye! Genius! His assistant hus the same name as ma Grandmother so aye he's trustworthy! total flippin doofus!
[Moira MacKay was Peter's grandmother's maiden name.. Moira MacTaggart wasn't actually Doc Connors intern/assistant, but had volunteered to work with him for a year to study his work on gene therapy, however this was never mentioned to Peter]
[**mini flashback** Doc Connors telling a 19yo Peter.. he *may* have cancer and should get rid of the Spider DNA through rigorous gene therapy.. ** .. Doc Connors taking Peter's blood samples.. ** .. Doc Connors leaving the skylight open for Peter to enter at night as Spider-Man to continue the research by running computer simulations.. ** .. The Jackal entering the same skylight and stealing Peters blood samples.. **.. The Jackal setting up his lab]
Peter: I would try to say something, but I can hear your disappointment and anger, so I won't. The lair exploded, I imagine..
Alan: THYT'S THE PROBLEM.. IMAGINATION ..Ah followed yez fur two weeks seein wit yez wer dæn.. ye didnay even come back tæ check.. total flippin' amatuers!.. dumb and dumber.
Peter: I was.. young and foolish, and didn't know what I was doing.
Alan: Ayt least ye huv the dignity to no try tæ defend yur actions.
Peter: I have never told anyone .. but the Jackal had three lairs.
Alan: Och.. Ah dunno how 'Ben' escaped, but Ah wis there fur two months, The Jackal wid feed mæ but Ah widnæ digest ma food, but go'at the acid tæ build up in ma stomach and concenratit.. the abominations Ah seen.. Ah wis restrained tæ a big disc thing, then when he went oot fur an hour, Ah spat it oan wan o' the restratints o ma hauns, let it weakin o'er an h'our, that wis enough tæ git that haun free, an' wæ that haun ah could smash the rest o' iyt.. ye didnæ even come back! no fur me coz Ah wis away..but fur the poor guys still hining oan the wa'z! WHY DIDYE NO COME BACK FUR THEM??
Peter:[a little shook] did you release them?
Alan: Ah couldnæ.. Ah go'at tæ ma second haun free, an' the Jackal came back, we tussled.. an Ah escaped. Watched yez fur a bit.. then set aff oot o' the madhoose thyt wis that situation tæ Stirling An' Gran MacKay's auld færm hoose.
Alan: Ye don't wa'nt tæ know wit Ah've seen.. Peter HE HUD IYT DOON TÆ 4 H'OURS! The first two months o' ma life wis spent inside AN ACTUAL HORROR MOVIE!
Peter: [gasp!]
Peter: Is this.. I don't know what to make of that.
Alan: ne'er dæ Ah.. iyt wis the closest Ah go'at tæ humor in two months o' horror.
Alan:.. Soooo.. dæ ye know where Doc Conner's iys?
Peter: Kurt has a lot to work out on his own terms.
Alan: Ahh.. so 'Kurt' iys iyt noo?
Peter: I.. I can't support any attempt on his life.. I understand WHY you would be angry..but angry enough to end his life.. that is NOT justice.
Alan: says you. .. y'know he wis jist guinea piggin' you fur any cancer research he could git his hauns oan?
Peter: .. I.. wow.. do you really think he was doing that?.. no matter! he doesn't deserve death!
Alan: High an' mighty iys iyt?.. y'know.. dæ ye remember when ye KILLED Rhino.. Green Goblin hud stole Mary Jane.. an' ye thot Rhino knew somthin'?.. ye like tæ tell folk he survived.. but thyt's no the full story iys iyt?
Peter obstinate: I have no idea what you are talking about.
Alan: Oh aye.. you remember.. ye *snapped* an killed him bi punchin' him tæ death.. if iyt wisnæ fur Doc Conner's funin' him efter an' usin' wan o' his serums.. Rhino wid bi deed the noo. But YOU tell it differently.. tell folk thyt ye stopped when ye realized.. coz ye cannæ haunle the guilt o' *snappin'*.. BUT THYTS THE THING AH KIN HAUNLE THE GUILT O' SNAPPIN'.. Ah'm built fur it!
Peter holds his mouth: I think I'm going to be sick..
Alan: Trauma's a tricky thing Pete..Ah wis built tæ resist iyt.. you wurnæ.
At a campfire.. the same one the team first met Lep.. Peri, Guillotine, Adam, Firegirl and Lep are talking.. Firegirl is telling her 'origin story'
Firegirl: I was merely in my teens..for all the fire I have.. I have never had a 'fiery temper' jeje. I was coming from School going home when I see in the sky something bright.. shining..
Adam: The Sun?
Lep raises an eyebrow.
Firegirl: No.. something else, but equally as bright.. I stood and watched it, like it would pass by me.. it seems some kind of meteor.. orange..but instead it come and hit me on the chest.. I passed out for a moment.. but when I awoke, I could see I was absorbing it.. it was changing me into .. something..
Lep interrupts: Hey.. da same thing happened tæ me.. Ah wis walking home fæ the pub in da fields ayt night.. wen dis stotan great green rock from da sky hit mæ in tha chest! When ah woke up.. ah could see iyt wis changin' mæ.. WAIT.
The group are stunned.
Lep: AH REMEMBER! Ah'm Siobhan O'Connell.. Ah work in a pub! Ah huv TONS o' degrees fur everythin'.. but ah pure flippin hate laboratories coz they don't let ye huv a nip ayt lunchtime! Ah huv three doctorates! and five masters.
Lep: I most definitely enjoy me a nip! Me parents ur a pain in the rear.. they won't shut up about how Ah'v tæ 'save thum from financial ruin'..
[Lep looks at her svelte legs]
wow Ah have lost tons o' weight.. Ah look HAWT!..
Dat Alan fella iys a lucky guy!.. [stunned realization in remembering] OH ALAN! ..
Ah love dat man!..
wow what a great guy! stood by me bein all crazy an' everyt'in'!..
he is sooo getting tæ do tings wæ mæ o'der girls won't do!..
[still stunned]
maybe I should make ano'er me and give him dat threesome?? wow..
Guillotine: I am so happy for you.. shall we call you Lep?
Lep: Sure..Ah can't tink o' an'oer name right away.. Ah guess iyt's fyne.. except fur da racial stereotype..but fur di now aye.. 'green goddess' is a bit too blasphemous fur me, Ah dunno. An' Ah t'ank ye..
Lep: .. in fact t'ank yez awl!.. Ah t'ink Ah should go an' talk tæ ma man!
Peri: [big warm smile] bien!!
Firegirl: I am glad my story has helped you! [big smile].. we are meteor sisters![wink]
Lep: Ye got dat right! [wink]
Captain Britain is at Division 3 Facility in Sweden..
Agent: Soo.. no-one will be coming for this one.. right?
Cap: I don't imagine so. .. If you'll excuse me, I have to go.. I have some thinking to do..
We see Cap flying with the facility in the background.. then we see him reach his house in England..He is holding an English flag the 'St. George's Cross'.. we see him sew it upon his suit covering all of the Union Jack..
Cap: Captain England!
Cap thinks: Let's see if the Admiral was right.. if not I'll just buy another flag and use this one as a keepsake. [smiles]
Back at Hallerom Industries Peter has left due to feeling quite sick.. Alan is alone and a bit tired due to it being so late, Lep and Firegirl walk into the main suit testing area..
Lep: Alan.. we *need* tæ talk..
Alan: Wit??.. how ye bein weird ma love?.. wits up?
Lep: Ah remember.. Ah remember everyt'in'. Ah remember bein Siobhan O'Connell, Ah remember mæ.
Alan: Oh wow.. thyt's huge ma love!.. wait.. dæ still love mæ aye?..man.. thyt wi
Lep:Shut up ye auld fool! Of course Ah love ye! [kisses Alan with a deep tongue kiss]
Alan: [breathless] wow!.. an' wit dæ ye mean auld?? hehe
Lep: Ah'm 29 years auld.. yur 41.. ye auld stoter [wink] sexy as ma man is sure!
Alan [whispers]: if Isabella wisnæ here.. we'd get busi!
Lep: Næ worries.. she kin watch sure!
Firegirl [awkward but kind]: I think I need to go jeje
At that moment Cap enters the room with his new outfit..
Cap: I am willing to change to be accepted.. I'm going to *sometimes* use this suit while we are in 'Euro-Avengers' together.. and go by 'Captain England'
Alan whispers to Lep: ur ye dæn awe thys?.. wow
Lep: Ah talked Firegirl intæ comin, without her known, so she could watch us.. but Braddock naw dat wisnæ me!
Cap: The rest of the time.. I will be of course 'Captain Britain' [smiles]..for now in Euro-Avengers Captain England!
[Cap semi-repeated what he just said because.. no one spoke to him about it]
Alan: THYT ..AM PROUD O'! no ropin' folk iyn wæ yur ideals jist coz o' yur ain politics.. well done Cap!.. well done Captain England!
Ares and Magneto float through the hole in the roof knocking the tarpalling down..
Ares: New uniform?.. looks dorky. Where is everyone? We have the last person we need to kill Doom. Oh!.. This is Magneto by the way.. one of the fiercest warriors your planet provides.
Alan: Lep remembers bein' human.. Captain England here.. an' we finished the suit fur Guillotine.. noo yur sayin' Ah'm goiny git tæ rip Dooms heed aff? MAN.. thys hus been *some* lucky day fur mæ!
Captain England: Remember Ares.. we are there to arrest him..
Magneto: HA!.. I like this one.. he is crazy!
END
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~~~~~~~~~Exposition Theatre~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-----------
'Mix Work AND Home?'
After Stark left and before Hank and Alicia arrived .. Dave was hanging around chatting to Guillotine and she asked:
So, Dave Shaw and Reed Richards.. what happened there?
Dave: Ohww...aye OK .. so Ah hud been wæ The Fantastic Four fur aroon 8 years, won the Richards Grant ayt 16yo, met up wæ Reed o'er 2 years then he offered me the job, Ah hud jist turned 19yo wen Ah moved tæ NYC, miny a'folk consider mæ his protege..but these days Ah dunno if Ah wis his monkey thyt he wis bein' polite tæ no tell mæ..
So Ah come intæ work.. normal day.. an' Reed calls mæ intæ his office lab.. an' he stærts sayin.. Ah shouldnæ huv sold wan o' ma schematics for a certain circuitry.. iyt wis a small thing.. a power regulator.. mæstly used fur microwaves n' thyt.. Ah didnæ make much cash aff iyt.. aroon $500 ..coz iyt wis only a 5% increase in efficiency.. coulda made iyt a 100%.. but Ah knew Ah shouldnæ dæ thyt in case iyt fell intæ the wrang hauns..So he's chewin' me oot.. aboot $500 an' 5%.. an' Ah say tæ him:
Reed.. Ah'm lit faimly here.. kin Ah move iyn?
An' he corrects mæ.. sayin'
Reed: My FAMILY is SUE, JOHNNY, FBR.. AND BEN..
Dave: So wit um Ah?
Reed: You're my assistant.
Dave: So.. erm.. kin Ah huv a salary?
Reed: I don't see why I would need to pay you, you gain so much experience here it's like free college..
Dave: So.. let mæ get thys straight.. Ah've no tæ sell ma designs.. Ah cannæ move iyn.. and yur no goiny pay mæ.. how do Ah get money tæ pay ma bills? Ah need somewhere tæ stay!
Reed: [smirk] You're a smart guy.. you work it out.
Ah wis stunned.. 8 years, an' he didnæ gee two hoots if Ah lived oar died. Ah left that day.. collected awe ma stuff.. an' went tæ pay ma rent.. wen Ah wis oan ma way there fæ doon the street Ah saw ma place wis gettin' knocked doon.. so Ah drapped awe ma stuff oan the groon tæ try an' chase away the bulldozers n' thyt.. stupit Ah know noo..but Ah wis iyn shock! Efter an argument wæ the demolition crew.. Ah came back tæ see ma stuff wis gone!.. in wan o' the boxes Ah hud threw ma cheque fur the $500.. thyt wis gone a'naw wæ awe the boxes.
Ah slept iyn a pile o' bricks where ma apærtment used tæ bi.. second night..thys limo drives by.. The guy wis the Rand guy.. Harold Meachum.. he offered mæ buttons oan a contract.. but iyn the back o the limo Ah pu'shed fur a few things.. lit ma office an' ma rooms.. unlimited food/drink/cleaning budget.. an' he said aye.
If noo Ah could git oot o the contract.. Ah'd be oot o' there in a shot! but ays long ays they've go'at mæ.. Ah guess they've go'at mæ..
Guillotine: What happened between you and Tony Stark?
Dave: Flippin' Tony Stark!!.. He reversed engineered wan o' ma earthing isolator circuits and used iyt in his Iron Man suit!! iyt's a circuit tæ redistrubute static build up durin' flight, wan iyn each knee.. No jist thyt.. he hud the cheek tæ send mæ o'er a 'medium' priced bottle o' champagne.. wæ a congratulations note an' a trashy low pay contract.. better thun Rand.. but still.. he wis basically wa'ntin' mæ tæ take a reg job as his CTO fur junior engineer money.. dare call ma work 'medium'!
No the first time either.. took ma design fur the belt fed regulator.. iyts a tiny component that is a timer lit oan a car.. lit the timing belt.. mæst folk were still usin' rubber.. When Ah struck oan the idea o' usin' the bike chain system.. thyt way even if ye git a bullet jam in the cartridge the loading mech widnæ buckle!
Ah saw him ayt a dinner pærty a year oar more efter he'd done iyt..he came up tæ mæ an' said.. 'great design on the belt fed regulator!'.. lit it wis OK tæ steal iyt fæ mæ!!
Guillotine: Wow.. that's awful..didn't you sue him?
Dave: Aye.. but he's go'at better lawyers thun us.. also awe his government contracts ootrank oors.
Guillotine:.. going back.. why do you think Reed reacted the way he did.. it seems odd..
Dave: Ohw.. he wis fightin' a lot wæ Sue aboot FBR.. they hud lit 8 planet threatening crisis in a row.. tbh.. iyt wis a few years ago noo.. we talk wance a time oan somewans birthday, Sue ay askes mæ tæ drop by fur Christmas.. Ah never go.. and weirdly enough Reed ay feels bad when he sees mæ.. always has this 'I'm sorry' tone iyn his voice and asks mæ how Ah um.. sometimes.. jist somtimes.. Ah wonder if he didnæ even realize Ah hud been there fur 8 years an' wis an adult.. lit Ah wis still some Uni Grad.. hining aboot fur experience.. but him no thinkin' oan iyt.. lit iyt wis ma first year.
-------------
Ares is gone for a week and a half!?
Day 1
The team are riding back from the German campsite to the mobile base in Braddock's old 70s Landrover Jeep.. from the back we hear:
Ares: bit cramped.. in fact.. just let me off at the next petrol station..
Guillotine: If you want snacks.. actually.. I think Lep ate them all..
Lep: Not my fault! Ah hud an exhausting night [winks at Alan]
Alan: iyt's lit a Turkish sauna in here.. offt.. the smell! Crack a windæ!
Ares: I have some *other* things to do, people to talk to.. just drop me off..
A few miles down the road the team pulls in to a layby and let Ares off.. then they drive away.
Ares: been a long time since I did this.. not as confident as I used to be..
Ares creates a lava portal.. which he then moves from the ground to a portal in the air in front of him..
Ares: Always was *somewhat random*.. hope it it at least gives me a planet with an atmosphere..
We see Ares come through the other side of the portal many burning cinders coming off his body in waves..
He looks up..
Ares: The moon Titan.. well could have been worse. The Ancient Ones used this for a base for a short time.. maybe they knew of certain powers that could help us?
Ares walks over to a old dusty pyramid like structure.
Ares: I remember Athena.. teaching us about these dreadful things.. they were used to recondition humans and try to improve their genes.. but they also had libraries worth of knowledge for the brainwashing..
Day 2
Ares: [to himself in this echoing empty room] OH THIS IS MIND NUMBING!.. really! their category system is backwards! If I want to look up.. 'cat'.. for example I have to find their equivalent to F for Feline..but no!! that's not what it brings up! It bring up birds that hunt FISH.. [grumbling] I am suitably less impressed with the Ancient Ones than before I had stepped foot in this building!
Ares: Muspelheim was EASY.. just keep bashing whomever had the info until they told you. OR use the weird helmet thing.. mind reader thingy [snaps fingers to remember].. Pan... Panthemile .. tron .. Panthelematron ?.. con ? Panthelematicon!
Day 3
Ares: Probably time to leave.. at least I found that tiny morsel of information.. I wonder *what* an infinity gem is exactly?
Ares: Time to try some old friends..ha! that's a joke! .. ohw I'm just me. okay.
Ares: opens a fire portal on the ground and moves it to in front of him in the air and walks through..
On the other side we see he is at the foot of mount Olympus.. he begins walking up the incline
Ares: Well.. 'home'.. that's a laugh.. I only spent 500 years guarding this place.. 500 years? I have no idea how long things are [funny voice asif someone else] : Hey Ares.. how long did you do *that* for? Ares: I dunno! I can't tell time *that* well! [funny voice] haha Ares can't tell time! Ares: You try living as long as I have and see if you get good at it.. spoiler: it gets worse the longer you live! Stupid human!
One of the guards is watching him walking up the incline..
Guard:.. He's talking to himself??.. Should we get reinforcements?
Senior Guard: No... I'll send some men down and see what he wants first.. Zeus said he was allowed back in.. as long as we watched him at all times..
Ares still walking up the hill..
Ares: I dunno what the fuss is about..well *I AM SORRY I HAVE BEEN BUSY* .. sorry your human life is so eventless you need to count time so diligently! I lived in Muspelheim for 10,000 years.. it's not like there was a lot of clocks just hanging on walls!
Guard: HALT BEFORE THE GUARDS OF OLYMPUS!
Ares: ohw I didn't see you there.. I'm here to ask Athena a few questions.. be a good lad and make me up a bunk in the guard quarters would you? I'll probably be staying the night..
Guard: Announce your name, status and planet of origin!
Ares: It's me.
Guard: We do not know anyone by the name of 'It's me'.. halt your progress!
Ares: Oh I guess it HAS been a long time..
ARES, GOD OF WAR, OLYMPUS.
Guard: you may pass. but as per the orders of Zeus you are to be WATCHED AT ALL TIMES..
Ares: [under breath] I need a new press officer for here.. [to the guard] Yes.. that's fine.
Day 4
Ares is with Athena in her study..
Ares: So.. what is an 'Infinity Gem'?
Athena: Somewhat of a myth I am afraid Ares.. no one has even heard of them let alone sighted one since before The Dark Elves were rumored to possess one ..
Ares: This man of Doom.. he is truly powerful.. he had me tied up and tortured me..
Athena: [gasp!] ... He sounds a *little* too powerful for my tastes.. wait.. didn't I hear of such a man, he wore strange armor.. ?
Ares: yes that sounds like him..
Athena: hmmm.. You have 5 options to counter him, 1. gain his trust as his servant then betray him.. that would take much time.
Ares: too long.. pass.
Athena: 2. use his own weapons against him.. by collecting his power then you would control it yes?
Ares: If he would let me close enough.. I would kill him.. because if he would let me close enough to steal his treasures.. then why not kill him?
Athena: I see.. 3. You have used the Forges before.. The one here on Olympus is owned by Hephaestus, Zeus has forbidden you to use ours.. however there are OTHER forges with similar power to create the most fantastical weapons.
Ares: I like that.. I'll put that *on the back burner* for now.
[both giggle]
Athena: 4. Challenge him to game of skill that you *know* you will win.. the loser forfeiting their life..
Ares: No good.. he plays ultra dirty, games need rules that are obeyed.. if can just *magic* his way out of something he will
Athena:Use the Ambrosia.. I know you still have some left.
Ares: Never!.. I admit I open it sometimes and smell it.. makes me feel good.. but Zeus has forbidden me any more portions for all eternity.. once I drink it.. it's gone.. even though I can see you have a full bottle sitting on your table over there. For me.. my little vial is my last portion. .. I never did thank you for slipping it into my pocket before my banishment.. sincerely thank you Lady Athena!
Athena nods in humility.
Day 5
Ares: Well that was more pleasant than expected.. the ale here is great! Next stop.. The Sanctuary of New York.
We see Ares exiting his portal with many many waves of cinders coming off him onto a New York sidewalk..
Ares: Bleecker Street... Bleecker Street..
After wandering around Manhattan for an hour it's mid-evening, Ares goes into a McDonalds, we watch him from outside through the window as he stands in the queue, orderly moving down as each patron receives their food & exits the queue.. we then see the cashier shrug their shoulders and hands at Ares and him walking out..outside he is mumbling to himself: Who doesn't accept gold coins?? Stupid earth paper money.
He looks up and on the corner in the slight distance is the Sanctorum..
Ares: Flippin' finally!
Minutes later inside..
Doctor Strange: I don't care Ares.. you were told you were NOT to return to this house or any other under the control of my elite.
Ares: I want to fight Doom.. in fact I am trying to kill him.
Doctor Strange: Oh.. well you were still told not to return.
Ares: Do you have change for a gold coin? I saw a rather appetising burger down the street which I would like to consume..
Doc: NO I DO NOT HAVE CHANGE FOR.. wait.. what kind of coins are those?
Ares: Oh.. they're Olympian coins..
Doc: Made in an Olympian forge?
Ares: I.. imagine so..
[silence]
Doc: Here's 5 dollars.. I expect change!
Ares: OH.. [they do the exchange]
Ares walks away.. [mumbles] tight fisted, smells weird..
Doc: I HEARD THAT..
10 minutes later Ares is back in the sanctum munching down on a Big Mac.. Doctor Strange is examining the coin..
Doc: Fascinating.. it's not *actually* gold
Ares: YE[munch]S I[munch]T IS[munch] (crumbs of food flying out of Ares full mouth)
Doc: Shut up. The harmonic resonance of this is remarkable!
Ares swallows his food: Bargain then eh? One measly burger!
Doc: Shut up. How many do you have.. we don't have any of these.. and with enough effort *perhaps* these could be used as sling rings..
Ares: I wouldn't advise trying to get into Olympus.. they are quite the *techy fellows of late*
Doc: It's not FOR Olympus.. it's for EVERYWHERE.
Ares: I can't help but feel short changed..
Doc: $20 for the rest..
Ares: ha.ha.
Doc: I was serious.
Ares: No thanks!
Doc: Then I guess our business is concluded, kindly leave the premises and do not return.
Ares: wait wait.. I got a whole coin purse of these.. 50 at least..
Doc: I'm listening..
Ares: What IF you do me a REASONABLE deal for 40 of these.. I need earth paper money, I need information on powerful artifacts that can kill Doom and I need a place to stay tonight!
Doc: hmm.. $350. okay. you can sleep on the couch at the bottom of the hall stairs. deal?
Ares: deal.
Much later in that night the two are sitting on the floor drinking whisky by the open fire talking about Doctor Strange's history with Doctor Doom, talking about fantastic artifacts of great power and where the best burgers in Manhattan are..
Ares: What's an 'Infinity Gem'?
[Due to this being the Hydra timeline.. this timeline is different.. even the gems themselves are different as one person did not travel back in time, but another and so on and so on.. back to the beginning.. a reverse domino effect, unbeknownst to everyone.. 6 gems were encrusted within meteors.. whether or not they were still present when they hit the chests of Firegirl and Leprechaun.. is uncertain]
Doc: They say.. the ubiquitous 'they'.. say it is a source of unimaginable power, not just the mear power of a reality warper.. no.. they grant the power of reality *building* to change the most primal basic laws of the universe, not merely warp those laws, but 'reshuffle' the deck in any way the holder wishes.
Ares: So.. and I realize I'm going to fail at this miserably, not to understate it.. pretty powerful then?
Doc: Yes. immeasurably so.
Ares: How do I get one?
Doc: I'll give you that your last response was aware of the idiotic nature of its existence.. but..
Ares: Wait wait.. let me rephrase that .. cough [clears throat].. Where was it that YOU heard about the gem and did it mention a location for said gem?
Doc: Better. .. I read about it in the Ancient books.. and no it just talked about the Dark Elves having one and that there were more.
Ares: Shame.
Doc: [sarcastically] Indeed.
Ares: Any other ideas?
Doc: You could always go and ask Surtur for help!
[both laugh] HAHAH
Ares: Good one!
Day 6
Ares wakes up on Doctor Strange's couch..
Ares: Ohw my side so stiff!
Doc: I made you tea..
Doc hands Ares a tray with tea and strawberry jam crumpets..
Ares: thank you, much appreciated.
Doc: You know Doom will probably kill you.. I didn't want our last interaction together to be a cruel one.
Ares is eating and drinking the tea.. his eyes go up to Doc but back down without saying a word..
Ares thinks: wow .. that sounded pretty sad.
Ares gets ready to leave.. once standing by the door, Doc from behind says to him ..
Doc: Make sure you send word if you succeed, [kindly] take care Ares!.. and don't come back here.
Ares nods slowly and walks out of the door..
Ares thinks: MAN.. you get drunk ONCE and smash up his place.. and he's 'cold for life'.
Ares thinks: I need to call in that favor from Magneto..
at a public pay phone..
Ares: SO NOW IT TAKES COINS!.. stupid earth.. too many needless complexities. I know I said I wasn't going to steal but this thing is driving me crazy..
Ares punches the payphone.. the little box breaks open but is almost empty, only one quarter is inside..
Ares: Ah!
using the same quarter over and over.. Ares double clicks the switchhook..
Phone: Hello, Operator.
Ares:Hi! I am looking for a Erik Lehnsherr, upstate New York.. he owns a few nightclubs.
PO: I have 5 listings.. would you like the most current?
Ares: Better run through them all..
PO: NYC, 840 Fifth Avenue .. 555-9722-516
Boston, 107 Stuart Street.. 557-9722-616
Los Angeles, 6500 Hollywood Blvd.. 559-9722-618
Sir, these numbers are peculiar.. they must be private numbers.
Ares: Oh I can hear the pips.. NYC one was fine thanks!
PO: Glad to hel..
[deadline]
Moments later..
Ares: So.. Emma .. tell 'Erik' to email me at Ares@rockhardalpha.mail .. he will know what it's about.
Ohw!.. well.. I'm sure we could meet up sometime, my mind is a bit focused on killing Doom. yes.. of course.
Day 7
Ares wakes up still holding the phone in the phonebox.. he gets a start and tries to kill the pay phone box with the receiver like it was a knife..
Ares: Right need some breakfast! .. wait.. Where's my horse helmet?.. everything else seems to be here.. I had that helmet.. I dunno how many years.. thousands.. since I was guard in Olympus.. [pauses]
and suddenly I lost the will to care.. I mean I just realized.. it's for brushing horses.. I don't even ride a flipping horse! I haven't ridden a horse since.. Olympus. If I wasn't otherwise robbed..probably stole by some drunk guy.. the story he will have to tell eh? [smiles]
We see Ares fall asleep at a table in McDonalds eating his sixth burger..
Day 8
Ares slowly rouses ..
Ares: Oh wow.. I NEED to get a move on! and I am out of ideas.. Only one thing for it.. Muspelheim!
Day 9
Ares emerges from one of his fire portals with waves of cinders falling off him..
Ares: few false starts.. I *did not* mean to get stuck back on Titan.. I wonder what that weird grave looking thing was.. now.. where is that screaming dude?
[Ares had felt guilty when telling Alan and Lep about the screaming dude on fire.. and made it seem like his fire had stopped or he had died.. this was misleading.. it never stopped]
Ares walks around listening carefully..
Ares: OH! there he is!.. that means the hole is.. over there by those big rocks!
As Ares drops down he feels.. the presence of others watching him.. he knows what this is.. the Fire Demons
Ares: Yes yes.. I'm back no n..
a Fire Demon rushes him. and he promptly smashes it's head in with a mace
Ares: as I was saying.. no need to welcome me!
Ares is like a Tiger walking within a wide circle.. Jackals slowly walking his perimeter
Ares: DON'T WORRY.. I'm not here to 'hurt' your master..
As Ares approaches where Surtur is.. the Fire Demons scatter, never breaking his perimeter.
Surtur: The GALL of *some* people.. are you here to topple me boy?? Good Luck with that! HAHAH
Surtur lifts his massive sword to his shoulder.
Ares is alarmed but says..
Ares: I am to kill the one known as Doom, Surtur.. I need access to the forge here.. to make a weapon of incredible power!
Surtur: You disgust me!
[Surtur means this because he thinks Ares has become weak.. However, Ares assumes it is because he had the cheek to return and ask for something]
[Continues in Epi#4 from this point]
--
FIN
--
Episode 4: Euro-Avengers 'Another Day in Paradise' -- Episode 6 : Euro-Avengers 'BOSS FIGHT!'
Click here ^^^
-------
Miss an episode?
See here:
Episode 1: Euro-Avengers - Assemble!
Episode 2: Euro-Avengers 'Matter of Opinion'
Episode 3 : Euro-Avengers 'I Reality Love You'
Episode 4: Euro-Avengers 'Another Day in Paradise'
Episode 5: Euro-Avengers 'What a Tangled Web We Weave When First We Practise to Perceive.." + BONUS 'Exposition Theater'
Episode 6 : Euro-Avengers 'BOSS FIGHT!'
Peri: [big warm smile] bien!!
Firegirl: I am glad my story has helped you! [big smile].. we are meteor sisters![wink]
Lep: Ye got dat right! [wink]
Captain Britain is at Division 3 Facility in Sweden..
Agent: Soo.. no-one will be coming for this one.. right?
Cap: I don't imagine so. .. If you'll excuse me, I have to go.. I have some thinking to do..
We see Cap flying with the facility in the background.. then we see him reach his house in England..He is holding an English flag the 'St. George's Cross'.. we see him sew it upon his suit covering all of the Union Jack..
Cap: Captain England!
Cap thinks: Let's see if the Admiral was right.. if not I'll just buy another flag and use this one as a keepsake. [smiles]
Back at Hallerom Industries Peter has left due to feeling quite sick.. Alan is alone and a bit tired due to it being so late, Lep and Firegirl walk into the main suit testing area..
Lep: Alan.. we *need* tæ talk..
Alan: Wit??.. how ye bein weird ma love?.. wits up?
Lep: Ah remember.. Ah remember everyt'in'. Ah remember bein Siobhan O'Connell, Ah remember mæ.
Alan: Oh wow.. thyt's huge ma love!.. wait.. dæ still love mæ aye?..man.. thyt wi
Lep:Shut up ye auld fool! Of course Ah love ye! [kisses Alan with a deep tongue kiss]
Alan: [breathless] wow!.. an' wit dæ ye mean auld?? hehe
Lep: Ah'm 29 years auld.. yur 41.. ye auld stoter [wink] sexy as ma man is sure!
Alan [whispers]: if Isabella wisnæ here.. we'd get busi!
Lep: Næ worries.. she kin watch sure!
Firegirl [awkward but kind]: I think I need to go jeje
At that moment Cap enters the room with his new outfit..
Cap: I am willing to change to be accepted.. I'm going to *sometimes* use this suit while we are in 'Euro-Avengers' together.. and go by 'Captain England'
Alan whispers to Lep: ur ye dæn awe thys?.. wow
Lep: Ah talked Firegirl intæ comin, without her known, so she could watch us.. but Braddock naw dat wisnæ me!
Cap: The rest of the time.. I will be of course 'Captain Britain' [smiles]..for now in Euro-Avengers Captain England!
[Cap semi-repeated what he just said because.. no one spoke to him about it]
Alan: THYT ..AM PROUD O'! no ropin' folk iyn wæ yur ideals jist coz o' yur ain politics.. well done Cap!.. well done Captain England!
Ares and Magneto float through the hole in the roof knocking the tarpalling down..
Ares: New uniform?.. looks dorky. Where is everyone? We have the last person we need to kill Doom. Oh!.. This is Magneto by the way.. one of the fiercest warriors your planet provides.
Alan: Lep remembers bein' human.. Captain England here.. an' we finished the suit fur Guillotine.. noo yur sayin' Ah'm goiny git tæ rip Dooms heed aff? MAN.. thys hus been *some* lucky day fur mæ!
Captain England: Remember Ares.. we are there to arrest him..
Magneto: HA!.. I like this one.. he is crazy!
END
---
~~~~~~~~~Exposition Theatre~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-----------
'Mix Work AND Home?'
After Stark left and before Hank and Alicia arrived .. Dave was hanging around chatting to Guillotine and she asked:
So, Dave Shaw and Reed Richards.. what happened there?
Dave: Ohww...aye OK .. so Ah hud been wæ The Fantastic Four fur aroon 8 years, won the Richards Grant ayt 16yo, met up wæ Reed o'er 2 years then he offered me the job, Ah hud jist turned 19yo wen Ah moved tæ NYC, miny a'folk consider mæ his protege..but these days Ah dunno if Ah wis his monkey thyt he wis bein' polite tæ no tell mæ..
So Ah come intæ work.. normal day.. an' Reed calls mæ intæ his office lab.. an' he stærts sayin.. Ah shouldnæ huv sold wan o' ma schematics for a certain circuitry.. iyt wis a small thing.. a power regulator.. mæstly used fur microwaves n' thyt.. Ah didnæ make much cash aff iyt.. aroon $500 ..coz iyt wis only a 5% increase in efficiency.. coulda made iyt a 100%.. but Ah knew Ah shouldnæ dæ thyt in case iyt fell intæ the wrang hauns..So he's chewin' me oot.. aboot $500 an' 5%.. an' Ah say tæ him:
Reed.. Ah'm lit faimly here.. kin Ah move iyn?
An' he corrects mæ.. sayin'
Reed: My FAMILY is SUE, JOHNNY, FBR.. AND BEN..
Dave: So wit um Ah?
Reed: You're my assistant.
Dave: So.. erm.. kin Ah huv a salary?
Reed: I don't see why I would need to pay you, you gain so much experience here it's like free college..
Dave: So.. let mæ get thys straight.. Ah've no tæ sell ma designs.. Ah cannæ move iyn.. and yur no goiny pay mæ.. how do Ah get money tæ pay ma bills? Ah need somewhere tæ stay!
Reed: [smirk] You're a smart guy.. you work it out.
Ah wis stunned.. 8 years, an' he didnæ gee two hoots if Ah lived oar died. Ah left that day.. collected awe ma stuff.. an' went tæ pay ma rent.. wen Ah wis oan ma way there fæ doon the street Ah saw ma place wis gettin' knocked doon.. so Ah drapped awe ma stuff oan the groon tæ try an' chase away the bulldozers n' thyt.. stupit Ah know noo..but Ah wis iyn shock! Efter an argument wæ the demolition crew.. Ah came back tæ see ma stuff wis gone!.. in wan o' the boxes Ah hud threw ma cheque fur the $500.. thyt wis gone a'naw wæ awe the boxes.
Ah slept iyn a pile o' bricks where ma apærtment used tæ bi.. second night..thys limo drives by.. The guy wis the Rand guy.. Harold Meachum.. he offered mæ buttons oan a contract.. but iyn the back o the limo Ah pu'shed fur a few things.. lit ma office an' ma rooms.. unlimited food/drink/cleaning budget.. an' he said aye.
If noo Ah could git oot o the contract.. Ah'd be oot o' there in a shot! but ays long ays they've go'at mæ.. Ah guess they've go'at mæ..
Guillotine: What happened between you and Tony Stark?
Dave: Flippin' Tony Stark!!.. He reversed engineered wan o' ma earthing isolator circuits and used iyt in his Iron Man suit!! iyt's a circuit tæ redistrubute static build up durin' flight, wan iyn each knee.. No jist thyt.. he hud the cheek tæ send mæ o'er a 'medium' priced bottle o' champagne.. wæ a congratulations note an' a trashy low pay contract.. better thun Rand.. but still.. he wis basically wa'ntin' mæ tæ take a reg job as his CTO fur junior engineer money.. dare call ma work 'medium'!
No the first time either.. took ma design fur the belt fed regulator.. iyts a tiny component that is a timer lit oan a car.. lit the timing belt.. mæst folk were still usin' rubber.. When Ah struck oan the idea o' usin' the bike chain system.. thyt way even if ye git a bullet jam in the cartridge the loading mech widnæ buckle!
Ah saw him ayt a dinner pærty a year oar more efter he'd done iyt..he came up tæ mæ an' said.. 'great design on the belt fed regulator!'.. lit it wis OK tæ steal iyt fæ mæ!!
Guillotine: Wow.. that's awful..didn't you sue him?
Dave: Aye.. but he's go'at better lawyers thun us.. also awe his government contracts ootrank oors.
Guillotine:.. going back.. why do you think Reed reacted the way he did.. it seems odd..
Dave: Ohw.. he wis fightin' a lot wæ Sue aboot FBR.. they hud lit 8 planet threatening crisis in a row.. tbh.. iyt wis a few years ago noo.. we talk wance a time oan somewans birthday, Sue ay askes mæ tæ drop by fur Christmas.. Ah never go.. and weirdly enough Reed ay feels bad when he sees mæ.. always has this 'I'm sorry' tone iyn his voice and asks mæ how Ah um.. sometimes.. jist somtimes.. Ah wonder if he didnæ even realize Ah hud been there fur 8 years an' wis an adult.. lit Ah wis still some Uni Grad.. hining aboot fur experience.. but him no thinkin' oan iyt.. lit iyt wis ma first year.
Guillotine: Weird.. do you think .. perhaps he was trying some *tough love* to kick you out of the nest and it blew up in everyone's face.. especially yours? I mean.. 8 years IS a long time.. He *may* have wanted you to go out on your own and get a proper contract with a firm like Rand, Trask, Stark, OsCorp.. even us here at Hallerom, we are small but we are plucky! hehe..or maybe even start your own firm.. Shaw Engineering!
Dave: oh flip Ah hate thyt name.. no ma name.. Ah like ma name but.. 'SXE' wid be better [smiles] sounds lit.. 'sexy' hehe
Dave: But.. oan the main mætter.. næ idea. If he hud jist sat mæ doon an' said his piece Ah wida respectit thyt!.. awe they nights watchin' FBR while they ur gettin' photos took bi the paparazzi.. ye think he coulda jist said.. an no been brutal wæ it.
Guillotine: I don't think Reed is a bad guy.. I just think he is human and made a unforeseeable mistake.
Hank walks through the door..
Dave: Heyyy.. ye auld ghost ye!
Hank: How's my least favorite engineer?? You here to fix their desk fan?
[both laughing]
The two pat each other on the shoulder.
Hank [whispers to Dave]: I was told there would be a third.. a female engineer?
--
FIN
Ares is gone for a week and a half!?
Day 1
The team are riding back from the German campsite to the mobile base in Braddock's old 70s Landrover Jeep.. from the back we hear:
Ares: bit cramped.. in fact.. just let me off at the next petrol station..
Guillotine: If you want snacks.. actually.. I think Lep ate them all..
Lep: Not my fault! Ah hud an exhausting night [winks at Alan]
Alan: iyt's lit a Turkish sauna in here.. offt.. the smell! Crack a windæ!
Ares: I have some *other* things to do, people to talk to.. just drop me off..
A few miles down the road the team pulls in to a layby and let Ares off.. then they drive away.
Ares: been a long time since I did this.. not as confident as I used to be..
Ares creates a lava portal.. which he then moves from the ground to a portal in the air in front of him..
Ares: Always was *somewhat random*.. hope it it at least gives me a planet with an atmosphere..
We see Ares come through the other side of the portal many burning cinders coming off his body in waves..
He looks up..
Ares: The moon Titan.. well could have been worse. The Ancient Ones used this for a base for a short time.. maybe they knew of certain powers that could help us?
Ares walks over to a old dusty pyramid like structure.
Ares: I remember Athena.. teaching us about these dreadful things.. they were used to recondition humans and try to improve their genes.. but they also had libraries worth of knowledge for the brainwashing..
Day 2
Ares: [to himself in this echoing empty room] OH THIS IS MIND NUMBING!.. really! their category system is backwards! If I want to look up.. 'cat'.. for example I have to find their equivalent to F for Feline..but no!! that's not what it brings up! It bring up birds that hunt FISH.. [grumbling] I am suitably less impressed with the Ancient Ones than before I had stepped foot in this building!
Ares: Muspelheim was EASY.. just keep bashing whomever had the info until they told you. OR use the weird helmet thing.. mind reader thingy [snaps fingers to remember].. Pan... Panthemile .. tron .. Panthelematron ?.. con ? Panthelematicon!
Day 3
Ares: Probably time to leave.. at least I found that tiny morsel of information.. I wonder *what* an infinity gem is exactly?
Ares: Time to try some old friends..ha! that's a joke! .. ohw I'm just me. okay.
Ares: opens a fire portal on the ground and moves it to in front of him in the air and walks through..
On the other side we see he is at the foot of mount Olympus.. he begins walking up the incline
Ares: Well.. 'home'.. that's a laugh.. I only spent 500 years guarding this place.. 500 years? I have no idea how long things are [funny voice asif someone else] : Hey Ares.. how long did you do *that* for? Ares: I dunno! I can't tell time *that* well! [funny voice] haha Ares can't tell time! Ares: You try living as long as I have and see if you get good at it.. spoiler: it gets worse the longer you live! Stupid human!
One of the guards is watching him walking up the incline..
Guard:.. He's talking to himself??.. Should we get reinforcements?
Senior Guard: No... I'll send some men down and see what he wants first.. Zeus said he was allowed back in.. as long as we watched him at all times..
Ares still walking up the hill..
Ares: I dunno what the fuss is about..well *I AM SORRY I HAVE BEEN BUSY* .. sorry your human life is so eventless you need to count time so diligently! I lived in Muspelheim for 10,000 years.. it's not like there was a lot of clocks just hanging on walls!
Guard: HALT BEFORE THE GUARDS OF OLYMPUS!
Ares: ohw I didn't see you there.. I'm here to ask Athena a few questions.. be a good lad and make me up a bunk in the guard quarters would you? I'll probably be staying the night..
Guard: Announce your name, status and planet of origin!
Ares: It's me.
Guard: We do not know anyone by the name of 'It's me'.. halt your progress!
Ares: Oh I guess it HAS been a long time..
ARES, GOD OF WAR, OLYMPUS.
Guard: you may pass. but as per the orders of Zeus you are to be WATCHED AT ALL TIMES..
Ares: [under breath] I need a new press officer for here.. [to the guard] Yes.. that's fine.
Day 4
Ares is with Athena in her study..
Ares: So.. what is an 'Infinity Gem'?
Athena: Somewhat of a myth I am afraid Ares.. no one has even heard of them let alone sighted one since before The Dark Elves were rumored to possess one ..
Ares: This man of Doom.. he is truly powerful.. he had me tied up and tortured me..
Athena: [gasp!] ... He sounds a *little* too powerful for my tastes.. wait.. didn't I hear of such a man, he wore strange armor.. ?
Ares: yes that sounds like him..
Athena: hmmm.. You have 5 options to counter him, 1. gain his trust as his servant then betray him.. that would take much time.
Ares: too long.. pass.
Athena: 2. use his own weapons against him.. by collecting his power then you would control it yes?
Ares: If he would let me close enough.. I would kill him.. because if he would let me close enough to steal his treasures.. then why not kill him?
Athena: I see.. 3. You have used the Forges before.. The one here on Olympus is owned by Hephaestus, Zeus has forbidden you to use ours.. however there are OTHER forges with similar power to create the most fantastical weapons.
Ares: I like that.. I'll put that *on the back burner* for now.
[both giggle]
Athena: 4. Challenge him to game of skill that you *know* you will win.. the loser forfeiting their life..
Ares: No good.. he plays ultra dirty, games need rules that are obeyed.. if can just *magic* his way out of something he will
Athena:Use the Ambrosia.. I know you still have some left.
Ares: Never!.. I admit I open it sometimes and smell it.. makes me feel good.. but Zeus has forbidden me any more portions for all eternity.. once I drink it.. it's gone.. even though I can see you have a full bottle sitting on your table over there. For me.. my little vial is my last portion. .. I never did thank you for slipping it into my pocket before my banishment.. sincerely thank you Lady Athena!
Athena nods in humility.
Day 5
Ares: Well that was more pleasant than expected.. the ale here is great! Next stop.. The Sanctuary of New York.
We see Ares exiting his portal with many many waves of cinders coming off him onto a New York sidewalk..
Ares: Bleecker Street... Bleecker Street..
After wandering around Manhattan for an hour it's mid-evening, Ares goes into a McDonalds, we watch him from outside through the window as he stands in the queue, orderly moving down as each patron receives their food & exits the queue.. we then see the cashier shrug their shoulders and hands at Ares and him walking out..outside he is mumbling to himself: Who doesn't accept gold coins?? Stupid earth paper money.
He looks up and on the corner in the slight distance is the Sanctorum..
Ares: Flippin' finally!
Minutes later inside..
Doctor Strange: I don't care Ares.. you were told you were NOT to return to this house or any other under the control of my elite.
Ares: I want to fight Doom.. in fact I am trying to kill him.
Doctor Strange: Oh.. well you were still told not to return.
Ares: Do you have change for a gold coin? I saw a rather appetising burger down the street which I would like to consume..
Doc: NO I DO NOT HAVE CHANGE FOR.. wait.. what kind of coins are those?
Ares: Oh.. they're Olympian coins..
Doc: Made in an Olympian forge?
Ares: I.. imagine so..
[silence]
Doc: Here's 5 dollars.. I expect change!
Ares: OH.. [they do the exchange]
Ares walks away.. [mumbles] tight fisted, smells weird..
Doc: I HEARD THAT..
10 minutes later Ares is back in the sanctum munching down on a Big Mac.. Doctor Strange is examining the coin..
Doc: Fascinating.. it's not *actually* gold
Ares: YE[munch]S I[munch]T IS[munch] (crumbs of food flying out of Ares full mouth)
Doc: Shut up. The harmonic resonance of this is remarkable!
Ares swallows his food: Bargain then eh? One measly burger!
Doc: Shut up. How many do you have.. we don't have any of these.. and with enough effort *perhaps* these could be used as sling rings..
Ares: I wouldn't advise trying to get into Olympus.. they are quite the *techy fellows of late*
Doc: It's not FOR Olympus.. it's for EVERYWHERE.
Ares: I can't help but feel short changed..
Doc: $20 for the rest..
Ares: ha.ha.
Doc: I was serious.
Ares: No thanks!
Doc: Then I guess our business is concluded, kindly leave the premises and do not return.
Ares: wait wait.. I got a whole coin purse of these.. 50 at least..
Doc: I'm listening..
Ares: What IF you do me a REASONABLE deal for 40 of these.. I need earth paper money, I need information on powerful artifacts that can kill Doom and I need a place to stay tonight!
Doc: hmm.. $350. okay. you can sleep on the couch at the bottom of the hall stairs. deal?
Ares: deal.
Much later in that night the two are sitting on the floor drinking whisky by the open fire talking about Doctor Strange's history with Doctor Doom, talking about fantastic artifacts of great power and where the best burgers in Manhattan are..
Ares: What's an 'Infinity Gem'?
[Due to this being the Hydra timeline.. this timeline is different.. even the gems themselves are different as one person did not travel back in time, but another and so on and so on.. back to the beginning.. a reverse domino effect, unbeknownst to everyone.. 6 gems were encrusted within meteors.. whether or not they were still present when they hit the chests of Firegirl and Leprechaun.. is uncertain]
Doc: They say.. the ubiquitous 'they'.. say it is a source of unimaginable power, not just the mear power of a reality warper.. no.. they grant the power of reality *building* to change the most primal basic laws of the universe, not merely warp those laws, but 'reshuffle' the deck in any way the holder wishes.
Ares: So.. and I realize I'm going to fail at this miserably, not to understate it.. pretty powerful then?
Doc: Yes. immeasurably so.
Ares: How do I get one?
Doc: I'll give you that your last response was aware of the idiotic nature of its existence.. but..
Ares: Wait wait.. let me rephrase that .. cough [clears throat].. Where was it that YOU heard about the gem and did it mention a location for said gem?
Doc: Better. .. I read about it in the Ancient books.. and no it just talked about the Dark Elves having one and that there were more.
Ares: Shame.
Doc: [sarcastically] Indeed.
Ares: Any other ideas?
Doc: You could always go and ask Surtur for help!
[both laugh] HAHAH
Ares: Good one!
Day 6
Ares wakes up on Doctor Strange's couch..
Ares: Ohw my side so stiff!
Doc: I made you tea..
Doc hands Ares a tray with tea and strawberry jam crumpets..
Ares: thank you, much appreciated.
Doc: You know Doom will probably kill you.. I didn't want our last interaction together to be a cruel one.
Ares is eating and drinking the tea.. his eyes go up to Doc but back down without saying a word..
Ares thinks: wow .. that sounded pretty sad.
Ares gets ready to leave.. once standing by the door, Doc from behind says to him ..
Doc: Make sure you send word if you succeed, [kindly] take care Ares!.. and don't come back here.
Ares nods slowly and walks out of the door..
Ares thinks: MAN.. you get drunk ONCE and smash up his place.. and he's 'cold for life'.
Ares thinks: I need to call in that favor from Magneto..
at a public pay phone..
Ares: SO NOW IT TAKES COINS!.. stupid earth.. too many needless complexities. I know I said I wasn't going to steal but this thing is driving me crazy..
Ares punches the payphone.. the little box breaks open but is almost empty, only one quarter is inside..
Ares: Ah!
using the same quarter over and over.. Ares double clicks the switchhook..
Phone: Hello, Operator.
Ares:Hi! I am looking for a Erik Lehnsherr, upstate New York.. he owns a few nightclubs.
PO: I have 5 listings.. would you like the most current?
Ares: Better run through them all..
PO: NYC, 840 Fifth Avenue .. 555-9722-516
Boston, 107 Stuart Street.. 557-9722-616
Los Angeles, 6500 Hollywood Blvd.. 559-9722-618
Sir, these numbers are peculiar.. they must be private numbers.
Ares: Oh I can hear the pips.. NYC one was fine thanks!
PO: Glad to hel..
[deadline]
Moments later..
Ares: So.. Emma .. tell 'Erik' to email me at Ares@rockhardalpha.mail .. he will know what it's about.
Ohw!.. well.. I'm sure we could meet up sometime, my mind is a bit focused on killing Doom. yes.. of course.
Day 7
Ares wakes up still holding the phone in the phonebox.. he gets a start and tries to kill the pay phone box with the receiver like it was a knife..
Ares: Right need some breakfast! .. wait.. Where's my horse helmet?.. everything else seems to be here.. I had that helmet.. I dunno how many years.. thousands.. since I was guard in Olympus.. [pauses]
and suddenly I lost the will to care.. I mean I just realized.. it's for brushing horses.. I don't even ride a flipping horse! I haven't ridden a horse since.. Olympus. If I wasn't otherwise robbed..probably stole by some drunk guy.. the story he will have to tell eh? [smiles]
We see Ares fall asleep at a table in McDonalds eating his sixth burger..
Day 8
Ares slowly rouses ..
Ares: Oh wow.. I NEED to get a move on! and I am out of ideas.. Only one thing for it.. Muspelheim!
Day 9
Ares emerges from one of his fire portals with waves of cinders falling off him..
Ares: few false starts.. I *did not* mean to get stuck back on Titan.. I wonder what that weird grave looking thing was.. now.. where is that screaming dude?
[Ares had felt guilty when telling Alan and Lep about the screaming dude on fire.. and made it seem like his fire had stopped or he had died.. this was misleading.. it never stopped]
Ares walks around listening carefully..
Ares: OH! there he is!.. that means the hole is.. over there by those big rocks!
As Ares drops down he feels.. the presence of others watching him.. he knows what this is.. the Fire Demons
Ares: Yes yes.. I'm back no n..
a Fire Demon rushes him. and he promptly smashes it's head in with a mace
Ares: as I was saying.. no need to welcome me!
Ares is like a Tiger walking within a wide circle.. Jackals slowly walking his perimeter
Ares: DON'T WORRY.. I'm not here to 'hurt' your master..
As Ares approaches where Surtur is.. the Fire Demons scatter, never breaking his perimeter.
Surtur: The GALL of *some* people.. are you here to topple me boy?? Good Luck with that! HAHAH
Surtur lifts his massive sword to his shoulder.
Ares is alarmed but says..
Ares: I am to kill the one known as Doom, Surtur.. I need access to the forge here.. to make a weapon of incredible power!
Surtur: You disgust me!
[Surtur means this because he thinks Ares has become weak.. However, Ares assumes it is because he had the cheek to return and ask for something]
[Continues in Epi#4 from this point]
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FIN
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Episode 4: Euro-Avengers 'Another Day in Paradise' -- Episode 6 : Euro-Avengers 'BOSS FIGHT!'
Click here ^^^
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Miss an episode?
See here:
Episode 1: Euro-Avengers - Assemble!
Episode 2: Euro-Avengers 'Matter of Opinion'
Episode 3 : Euro-Avengers 'I Reality Love You'
Episode 4: Euro-Avengers 'Another Day in Paradise'
Episode 5: Euro-Avengers 'What a Tangled Web We Weave When First We Practise to Perceive.." + BONUS 'Exposition Theater'
Episode 6 : Euro-Avengers 'BOSS FIGHT!'
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