Euro-Avengers #2 Fanfic
"Matter of Opinion"
The team sit round a campfire in the woods of a German forest, this is to be a 'little healing time' as Guillotine put it. They sit silently staring into the fire.. when Alan breaks the silence..
Alan: 'yknow.. Ah didnæ know that lassie.. næ bad tæ her but if this iys yon memorial tæ her fæ her friend's iyt no riȝht mæ bein here.'
Braddock somberly & authoritatively:
'you're fine. stay.'
Alan: 'musical chairs this isnæ, your no ma bandleader.. besides ye promised mæ yon cash fur the job.. no riȝht tæ talk money ayt a wake..but see'n hows Ah wa'nt oot and yu'v no seen fit tæ gee mæ the cash.. well sadly Ah huv næ choice but tæ bring iyt up.'
Braddock: 'don't fear.. the arrangement is on going.. '
Alan shocked : 'on going???..' .. 'listen.. Ah know yur grievin' so Ah'll let that go fur noo. But it's hame Ah wa'nt tæ go.. tæ Scotland.'
Guillotine: ' I am sure you need not worry about any money from now on..'
Ares: 'SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! just some peace and quiet while we say goodbye to a dear friend.. is that too much to ask??'
Guillotine: 'I feel this too, but remember it is not the same for everyone who grieves. When my uncle died.. my aunt acted normally for months, except she bought endless flowers. It wasn't until months later she realized she was buying the same one he had bought her went they were courting that she broke into tears.'.. 'let us tell stories.. it is a campfire after all.. and Alan is new to us.' .. 'I did not know you could made weapons from yourself Ares.. how did you keep this secret? how did it come about?'
Ares: silence.
The team stare at him until he finally speaks.
Ares: ' I have lived for thousands of years.. a long time ago I was chief of Surtur's Armies in Muspelheim, I am actually of a forgotten tribe from Niflheim who escaped the cold to a place we called 'Olympus'.. a pocket dimension.'
Guillotine: ' so you're Asgardian?'
Ares: ' No.. but we come from the same forebearer race, simply called 'The Ancient Ones.' My people were abandoned by those who would go on to be Asgardians.. stuck in horrid ice shelf of a land, deemed unworthy for our refusal to accept the Ragnarok and end of all things.'
Ares: 'At first Olympus was dark.. we took a mountain from Aesheim in Midgard.. we considered it a 'Limbo' this is where Olympus got its name..but after we lit a small star as a sun & we made it a great heaven for our people and a place to shelter from Ragnarok.'
Guillotine: 'Why then did you leave?'
Ares: 'I was just a boy.. I was a young, skilled, I thought I knew it all.. I had risen to Captain of the Guard of Olympus quickly. I decided that Olympus was 'too peaceful'.. that the people had become fat lazy and weak.. I summoned Surtur.'
Guillotine Braddock & Peri; gasp!
Ares with sadness in his voice: 'back at that time Olympus was twice the size it is now.. the battle was both quick and long drawn out, what I mean by that is, each action shifted weight of victory to one side or the other and it did not end quickly..I now reflect this was because the area was so small.
When the fires calmed.. Olympus was victorious, and I was branded a traitor, exiled to stay with Surtur.' .. 'Now you understand why I do not tell this story to humans.'
Guillotine: 'And the weapons?'
Ares: 'There is a forge in the depths of Muspelheim.. something like Nidavellir, but it does not forge weapons, it forges pain.' .. 'I entered in thinking it would be as any other forge. it is not. it is a torture chamber of the purest and simplest pain.. by the end of the process those who have fully underwent and understood what was taught can manipulate their lifeforce to create weapons... I hear Hela underwent the process also.'
Ares: 'I have shared much with you mortals, my friends, fitting we share in her death that we are still alive to share. next person.'
Guillotine: Merci beaucoup Ares. Alan would you like to share?
Alan: næ offense tæ the big guy there.. coz *that* wis a rockin' story! but naw.. yuz were awe shocked bi wit he said, think Ah'll keep the David Cronenberg nightmares Ah've hud tæ mæsel.
Guillotine: PLEASE Alan..
20 minutes later the team are sitting with their eyes bulging trying to process what Alan has just told them.
Ares: wow.. that's pretty messed up.
Alan: 'Peter hus næ idea hawf the things that went doon behun his back.. endless abominations, Ah wis lucky Doc Conner's gee up, If that Jackal guy wisnæ aweready deed Ah wud rip his heed aff a'naw withoot a thought..but nah. Sheer dumbness in the beginin' .. Doc Conner's hus high grade security wæ fingerprint scanners etc.. then lee's the sky light open incase Peter wa'nts in ayt night. ye couldnæ make this stuff up!'
Alan : and the best wan yit.. thinkin Peter's spider bite gee him cancer! That Doc Connors wa'nts smashed in the face.. arrogant wee gnaff.'
Guillotine: 'I feel.. like, I just lived a horror movie.'
Alan: 'Tell mæ aboot iyt!.. Ah telt Peter tæ coz Ah wis the voice in the back o' his heed.. 'naw don't dæ iyt, this guy is a chancer'.. but in American and no Scots. Needless tæ say; he didnæ listen.'
Braddock: 'That sounds crazy!'
Alan: 'Aye iyt wis!'
Braddock: 'No, I mean.. you were the voice in the back of Peter Parker's head??.. how does that work?'
Alan: 'Oh.. well Ah hudnæ e'er said that oot lood afore.. erm, but thyt's were Ah kinda come fæ, the mæst o' mæ iys Peter's suspicion an' anger.. iyt's awe linked tæ why ma spider sense goes nuts, gee's mæ yon migraines, ken?'
Braddock: 'no.'
Alan: 'well.. yur a auld enough lad tæ live wæ no known'! ya cheeky dan!'
Braddock faux fawnishly : 'I am *just* trying to understand your thought processes here.'
Alan grabs Braddock :' Ah'm no feirt tæ clock you wan.. wake oar no!'
A wash of terror goes over Braddocks eyes.. internally he remembers that same vibe Alan had when he smashed Doom to near pieces.
Guillotine : 'GUYS.. be cool.. stop! I think a squirrel stole the pringles!'
:PAUSE:
The Team erupts in laughter at the absurdity of the comment.. with even Alan backing off and giving a smile.
Alan smiling: 'Aye.. we'll huv tæ get yon squirrel banged tæ rights.. where'd'æ go?'
Guillotine: 'Weird thing.. must be a mutant or something.. looked ..green.'
The team split into groups.. Guillotine and Peri, Braddock and Alan, Ares volunteers to stay and 'watch the ale'.
The two groups separately search through the bushes and woods for the strange squirrel..
Guillotine whispers : 'you have been very quiet..'
Peri hushed voice : ' I will tell my story in time.. until then I think I have not much to say.. I think I am the cause, if I had not left her she would not have wandered, so then what is left to say?'
Guillotine: 'Such talk is foolish.. it was Doom who killed her. not you!'
Peri: 'This is true.. but will killing him bring her back, non, can I erase a mistake from the past, non, what left is there?'
Guillotine:' To learn from our mistakes and get better.. no one ever said this job was easy, we only have ways of learning to be less and less vulnerable.'
In a clearing we see a green girl in sexy green thick waves of lace, except revealing her legs and cleavage sitting half way up a tree, her clothes look like updated version of clothes from the 1700s, with two green squirrels bringing her food.. she is opening the pringles.. the green squirrels seems to be as ghosts and vanish.
Braddock comes through the clearing..
Braddock: hey young girl!.. those are our snacks!
Alan comes though also..
Alan: 'Braddock.. ye might wa'nt tæ clock the gear she's go'at oan!'
Girl: 'OH.. AH SHUDA KNOWN YEZ WIDA BE TI'GITHER!'
Braddock: 'She Irish..'
Alan palms flat arms outstretched: ' IYT'S NO WIT IYT LOOKS LIT!'
Girl: 'HMMMP!'
And she vanishes in a puff of green smoke.
Braddock turns to Alan and says : So.. 'it's not what it looks like' ..huh. what does that mean?'
Alan sheepishly: 'Well.. yknow..'
Braddock: ' Enlighten my ignorance.'
Alan: 'Well.. jist Ah'm no British.'
Braddock: 'Yes you are.. it is a matter of fact. Scotland is part of the British Isles and so you can never escape being British.'
Alan: 'says you. Naw I'm Scottish then a Gael.. næ British in mæ try the next shop o'er if yur lookin' fur that. næne here.'
Braddock: ' I am not arguing this. it's a fact.'
Alan: 'aye well.. tell *her* that if she comes back eh? Ah wa'nt tæ see her turn ye intæ a wee union jack squirrel.. that wid be funny, Ah wid jist aboot cry! haha'
Guillotine and Peri come through the bushes..
Guillotine: 'we heard a noise..'
Alan still laughing: 'Man.. twinty years in Stirling.. barely a thing.. few leather cooches launch'yt oot windæs durin fires.. an' noo this!'
Guillotine:' What happened?'
Braddock: 'A green girl was controlling the squirrels she teleported away in a puff of green smoke.'
Guillotine looks blankly at Braddock: 'Is that a joke?.. I don't get it.'
Alan : 'HAHAHA!.. ohw stop! yuz ur hurtin' ma sides'
The team return to the campfire.. Guillotine suspects Braddock was making fun of her.
Guillotine: 'Peri would you like to tell a story?'
Peri: ' bien.. When I was in my very early teens we would go to the beach at San Malo, the castle there in the evening dusk glows as if like made of gold, there was an old man who would sell ice cream and we would go to him every year we returned, one year he was not there.. it made me very sad. we did not return the next year and that summer, I remembered him, even though we were not there.'
At that moment the green girl appears in a puff of green smoke sitting next to the team around the campfire.
Girl: 'now d'ats a sad story! Ah love mæ ice cream! poor auld fella a'nawal!
the group get a slight start.
Ares: ' .. excuse me madam.. but are you some sort of green witch or a fairy?'
Girl: 'Begorrah! Don't ye know a Leprechaun when ye see wun?? read a book!'
Team: 'What??'
Girl: ' *fine* how-do-you-do! what'll ye be doin fur yur next trick.. thrown' paint ayt mæ??'
Alan: 'How do you do? nice to meet you, my name is Alan.. what is your name?
Girl:' Are ye takin the mick??.. ye kin talk fine well a'nawal Ah herd ye!.. fur now yuz kin jist call me Lep.'
Alan: ' Ah! it's good to put a name to the pretty face :)'
Lep: ' Why'tcha bein' all weird?'
Alan: ' I am hoping if I talk like this enough when Braddock finally tells you off for something, you turn him into a green squirrel.'
Lep: ' HAHAHAH...ohw dat's a good wun! heheh!'
Braddock: ' hey! this is no laughing matter!'
Lep squints her eye at Braddock: ' Did ye jist tell mæ aff??'
Braddock: ' .. .. I hope not. Let sanity prevail.'
Guillotine: ' Welcome new friend.. but I comment that I prefer Braddock as he is. Where did you come from?'
Lep: ' From da woods jist now.. ye seen mæ surely!'
Guillotine : ' I mean *WHERE* do you come from?'
Lep: ' Ireland o' course! But ah wis in Bavaria.. lookin' fur those Bavarian Creams Ah herd so much o' oan the telly!' .. 'As ye kin see Ah did *not* have much success!' .. 'Thats when Ah made those squirrels an' told them tæ find mæ food.. pure starvin' so Ah am!'
Alan: ' Seems legit.'
Braddock: ' Oh! Come on!.. I have done some pretty mystical things in my time.. but this chick shows up like a mini Jim Jaspers..
Guillotine interrupts: We do not say that name.. it only empowers him.'
Lep:' Who's dat?'
Alan:' Och.. Ah dinnæ believe in awe that.. Ah believe in a personal relationship wæ God.. The Abrahamic wan.. the rest.. iys science gun wrang.'
Lep:' Ah believe in God.'
Alan to Braddock:' see?'
Braddock:' She *just* said she was a Leprechaun.. or did you miss that part of the conversation because you were too busy planning my squirrel-hood?'
Alan:' Ah'm fine.'
Ares drinks another ale.. then slowly and somberly says
Ares: 'I watched her die'
Ares: 'I watched her die.. by the weapon my own hand had forged.'
Ares: 'I watched her die.. by the weapon my own hand had forged.. and I was powerless.'
Alan: 'Sooo.. ur we sayin' iyts OK tæ kill Doom next time we see him.. because Ah'm totally doon fur thyt.'
Guillotine: 'non..'
Braddock: 'Doom is NOT easy to kill.'
Guillotine: 'this is true..'
Alan: 'But if he wis deed.. '
Guillotine interrupts: 'We also want him to pay for his crimes.. but we attempt to bring those whom have done wrong to justice.'
Alan: 'Man .. Ah knew this wis the wrang team! He does wit he does.. an' yus wid let him walk?'
Ares: 'I'll kill him next time I see him.. Widow if you want in, you're in. try to keep up.'
Alan: 'Will dæ.'
Braddock somberly: 'With the exception of Guillotine; Does no-one listen?..Doom is.. he is easily on a par with Merlin.'
Alan: 'Wait.. wit?? Merlin the Wizard??'
Braddock somberly: 'Yes.'
Alan: 'Dæ ye huv a stash o' crack ye've bin smokin' oan the sly?'
Braddock: ' I'm not sure.. let's ask the Leprechaun.'
Alan: ' Man! ye huv fantasized yur life awæy!.. Ah huv næ doubt that there's a guy who dresses up fur ye.. but Merlin he's no. He's probably an alien oar science experiment gun wrang. Tellin' ye nonsense fur years.'
Braddock: 'I am seriously not in the mood Alan.'
Lep: 'So yuz awl have code names aye?.. so ur yez awl a super team..o' superheroes an' thyt? Ah like those Avenger's.. pretty cool oan the telly!'
Guillotine: 'Oui.. The Champions of Europe.'
Lep: ' Never herd o' yez. .. an' how dæ yez know yez ur the 'champions'?.. bit presumptuous if ye ask me..'
The team hear a loud car in the distance..
Guillotine: 'That is odd.. there are no roads close to here.'
Braddock: ' I'll suit up and check it out.. need a break anyway.'
Lep to Ares: 'Fine fella you are.. Ah've bin sitting here 10 minutes an' ye huvnay even offered a girl a drink!.. what is dat stout, beer.. ale?
Ares passing Lep a can:' Yes it's ale.. it's very strong.. so watch out.'
Alan: 'Special Brew strong?'
Ares: 'I do not know that drink.'
Lep: 'OHW.. dat's a drop an'a half!.. an' aye Alan.. like Special Brew but wæ a bit mær.. kick!'
Alan: ' OK we gettin' smashed?.. hopefully chat up Lep here-you're gorgeous by the way.'
Lep giggling: ' heheh .. now you remember Alan what-ever-yur-name-iys.. it'll be you who will be da squirrel, if I wake up unhappy in da mornin'.. ye big charmer ye!'
Meanwhile at the edge of the woods..
Braddock is flying above the tree edge, he can see an old black car driving over a dirt road, he can just-about make out the face of the driver.. as his sight locks on.. the drivers head slowly spins on its axis to face Captain Britain asif, detached from the body.. the driver mouths the words 'I know you.'
Cap: 'wow.. that was creepy.'
Back at the campfire Ares, Alan and Lep are pretty drunk..
Lep: 'how can ye be a hero if there' næ buildings tæ swing oan'
Alan: 'aye coz huvin super strength super agility.. iys a bit o' a disadvantage aye?'
Lep: 'oh aye didnt t'ink o' dat'
Ares: 'I seen a guy on fire once.. and for decades it never went out, we would use him for a location marker in Muspelheim.. because the place is pretty featureless.. so it was easy to know where you were.. coz you would hear the guy screaming, it was like sat-nav just keep walking until you heard him. did I say decades?.. I have no idea how long it was.'
Alan: 'YOU ur a rockin' fighter bud!.. awe these o'er guys ur woosies.. but YOU rock it!'
Ares:' I thank you for your honesty and clear insight! .. today we mark our friendship! YAMAS!'
Alan: 'slàinte!'
Lep: 'slàinte!.. YAMAS!'
The whole time since Captain has been away Guillotine and Peri have been talking to each other directly in french somewhat separately from the group. We pick up with them at this point in the conversation..
...
Peri: But how then can you continue to fight the 'good fight'?? it's absurd!'
Guillotine:' it seems that way on the surface..'
Peri:' NON.. it seems that way because it IS that way!.. your injury seems like it will never heal, I do NOT want another dead friend!'
Guillotine: 'I can have a prosthetic enhancement to my arm.. I still have my suit of armor..'
Peri:' idiotic!'
Guillotine becomes very angry but also quite. Their sudden silence draws Alans attention..
Alan: 'Wit ur yez gibbering aboot?'
Peri: 'Guillotine will die if she remains part of this team.. she is not getting better and she has stupid ideas about a prosthetic enhancement while using armor..'
Alan: 'Wit lit Iron-Man?.. Aye Ah kin dæ thyt! watched a film oan the internet aboot Stark Industries an' some stuff .. aye Ah think Ah cud make her wan.. no cheap mind!'
Peri:' What??.. no offence but I thought you were living in a run down shed in Stirling..??'
Alan:' Och Ah've no go'at the internet iyn the hoose.. Ah use the library.. any tellys Ah huv ay end up smashed tæ bits ..'
Peri: ' No I meant..'
Guillotine interrupts: 'Wait! .. So you are saying you can build me a suit like Iron-Man? I can provide such resources.. in fact I own half of Hallerom Industries bequeathed by late Uncle; the other half is owned by Stark Industries!'
Alan: 'Cool!.. so kin ye get the parts?'
Guillotine: 'Yes.. Hallerom Industries is a engineering company for tech.. but only storage based tech. My uncle would be sad to see what has become of his company.. we are basically a huge warehouse for storing Stark Technologies.. for you Alan.. it will be like going shopping!'
Alan: 'groovy!'
Lep shouts over to Alan: 'yur not ignoring' mæ now are ye??'
Alan:' naawww ma darlin'!..noo where's ma hug fur returnin'?'
Lep hugs Alan with a huge smile:'oohw yur a right wun so ye are!'
The next morning we see Lep stand up to face the sun, from her back we see her bare bum as she stretches out her arms with the sunlight crowning her side, Alan is lying in a heap of clothes used for blankets..
Alan smiles: ' Thyt wis aweright!.. but next time.. please ditch the green squirrels.. they wer puttin' mæ aff.'
Lep:' ohw!.. next time? OHW!.. aye lover next time næ squirrels Ah promise.'
Lep then beams with happiness.. and thinks: ' AH GO'T a BOYFRIEND! woohoo!'
Lep creates a shower cubicle and begins washing, green steam pouring out the top & fogging the green glass, Alan is getting dressed as Braddock coughs loudly..
Braddock:'sorry about last night..bit on edge.. you know how it is.'
Alan: ' Aye well.. Ah know yur mournin' lit the rest o' thum. sæy næ mare aboot iyt.'
Braddock: 'Thanks, kindly.'
Lep: 'y'know a girls showerin' here!?'
Braddock:' Good Morning Lep.. We'll be going back to our mobile base, you are welcome to come with us.'
Lep: 'Ah wid hope so seein' Ah'm oan'de team!'
Both :PAUSE:.
Alan shrugs at Braddock..'næ idea.'
Meanwhile as the rest of the team is getting ready to leave, Ares stands over the campfire and pours the last of the ale on the cinders..
Ares: ' goodbye dear friend..'
---
THE END.
----------
Episode 1: Euro-Avengers - Assemble! ---------- Episode 3 : Euro-Avengers 'I Reality Love You'
Click here ^^^
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Miss an episode?
See here:
Episode 1:
Euro-Avengers - Assemble!
Episode 2:
Euro-Avengers 'Matter of Opinion'
Episode 3 :
Euro-Avengers 'I Reality Love You'
Episode 4:
Euro-Avengers 'Another Day in Paradise'
Episode 5:
Euro-Avengers 'What a Tangled Web We Weave When First We Practise to Perceive.." + BONUS 'Exposition Theater'
Episode 6 : Euro-Avengers 'BOSS FIGHT!'
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