Euro-Avengers #4 Fanfic "Another Day In Paradise"

Euro-Avengers #4 Fanfic
"Another Day In Paradise"


Three days After the Division 3 events, Ares is still searching for a way to kill Doom. In Muspelheim Ares is looking up and talking to Surtur..


Ares: I realize you have every reason to hate me.. and I don't blame you, however, 10,000 years of service is nothing to snort at.. by doing this, we can presently leave things.. on a more .. even note.

Surtur: BOY!.. you have not yet imagined what hate is!

Surtur makes a slight swing of his giant sword past Ares to knock him over..

Ares standing back up: SEE! I knew you still cared! .. [mumbles] or you *would* have killed me.

Surtur: What gain is there for me?

Ares: I know this place. I know you. I have told *NO-ONE* in over 10,000 years anything of any way to acost you.. besides I secretly remember this place fondly.. but dare not tell the humans.

Surtur: SO I AM YOUR MENTOR?? AHAHAH *that* pleases me boy haha

Ares: Well.. I suppose..

Surtur: What you seek is not by any way or means easy, but you knew that.. MY APPRENTICE  hahah

Ares: Come on.. be nice.. it's embarrassing..

Surtur: HAHAHA

Surtur: My forge does not have the power you seek.. even if used to capacity, even if I sacrificed two of my loyal pets, it is not enough to forge a weapon to kill the 'man of doom'.

Ares: And three?

Surtur: I have but three pets of this kind left!.. no matter, three would break the forge entirely.

Ares: ah!.. do you still have that old map to 'Knowhere'? perhaps the Collector..
Surtur interrupts: he's dead.

Ares: What??

Surtur: DEAD BOY.. NO MORE.. Honestly you have been spending too much time with humans.. now who's embarrassed?

Ares: no.. I was.. just surprised..

Surtur: Have you any other 'bright' ideas?

Ares: I know you.. you hid a clue in there..

Surtur: OF COURSE IT WAS BOY!.. is your time in Midgard making you stupid? [disapproving noises]..  humans.. Reality TV..

Ares: what does the clue mean? .. [under breath] and I don't watch *that* much TV, it's just the humans rise at 8am, I get up at sunrise, I need something to do..

Surtur: THE POWER COSMIC! .. I am really starting to think the humans have made you weak minded.. and fat, perhaps my demons would like to feed on you? HAHAH

Ares: Hey! Their ale is fattening! I still do all the exercises you taught me.. every morning!

Surtur: While watching TV. [sarcasm] call me.. impressed.

Ares: The Power Cosmic.. I remember.. didn't an Olympian wield this power?

Surtur: Yes.. but that was a millenia ago ..! Now one who calls themself 'Adam Warlock' wields this power.. they must be killed in order for you to gain it!

Ares: I shall seek him out.. Thank you kindly Surtur, if there is anything I can do in return..

Surtur interrupts: Yes there is..

Ares: What can I do to repay your kindness?

Surtur: Stop being fat!! HAHAH.. I am sure now that you have sought me out for more difficult challenges, once completed that your mind is sharper and powerful body sevelt for combat.. when you return to the humans, drink their diet ale and eat of their unfattened calf. seriously... pick up a book once a century boy!

Ares embarrassed but sensing care, grunts a noise that they both know is agreement. 


Meanwhile at Hallerom Industries Alan and Guillotine are continuing their work on the suit for Guillotine..

Alan: How does iyt feel?

Guillotine: A little loose..

Alan: Ah suppose Ah could trim iyt a wee bit.. gee it mare o' a female form

Guillotine: I would like that.

Alan: Yon stabilizing servos fur the knees ur workin' aye?

Guillotine: Oui.. however without the feet.. they are pushing into my calfs.

Tony from the shadows: If you used a extender rod and link it to the rear of the servo.. it'll take the weight off the front..

Alan and Guillotine are alarmed.

Alan: OH.. hey Mr. Stark..

Tony to Guillotine: Soo.. were you just planning to rob me?

Guillotine: Half this is mine.. I own half of Hallerom Industries.. and you use it as your personal storage closet. hmph.

Tony: But still .. that means half of what you are wearing is MY property!.. wait a minute [to Alan].. don't I know you?

Alan: Naaww.. [hides face by looking away and to the ground]

Tony: PETER??

Alan: Erm .. ye huv mæ mixed up wæ somewan else there Mr. Stark

Tony: Call me Tony.. sounds weird YOU calling me 'Mr. Stark'.

Alan: Aye.. Tony.

Tony: So *what* are you doing here.. [gestures to the half built suit Guillotine is wearing]

Guillotine: Doctor Doom injured me in combat.. one that is not healing, the suit will help me continue our heroic endeavours.

Tony: .. .. wow. Y'know Doom is one of the most powerful humans that ever lived.. aside from myself and the rest of the Avengers.. oh yeah we could take him.. but he won't suffer amateurs lightly..

Guillotine: Widow-Spider here has already bested him in combat..

Tony: AH.. you're one of Peter's clones.. wow I thought all of them died except Scarlet Spider.. right.. gotcha!

Tony: So what?.. you're the part of Peter that was a closet Scotsman? That deep down he wanted to be Scots but couldn't bear to *come out* to his folks?.. dressing in kilts and going to ceilidh's..but terrified his parents would find out? 

Alan:.. Ah'm Alan MacKay.. An' Ah've been plenty polite tæ yursel. Regard mæ.. oar find oot wits iyts lit no tæ.

Tony: WHOA.. just having a friendly chat here.. no need to be all 'Scottish' about it, hehe.

Tony: I watched the tapes of yous trying to figure out my tech.. one of your staff pm'd a Stark Industries engineer for the servos schematics.. which *obviously* alerted me.

Guillotine: [French swearing]

Tony: Relax.. I *just* wanted to know you weren't using it for 'evil.'

Alan: OK.. HOW ON EARTH dæ ye fit the helmet iyn the back o' yon torso??

Tony: No.. wrong question. If you have already decided to reduce the torso size, you should be designing your own.. 'hood'. OR you are just causing problems up the road for yourselves.

Alan: Soo.. HOW? how do you make that sequential armor?? Nano tech? Space folding?

Tony: well now.. yes.. but these parts are a mix of early Mk II/IV/VII suit parts.. for these, its simple geometry.. physics of a triangle give the most efficient strength for cost ratio, each segment is a tiny triangle that folds out and builds on top of the last..

Alan: Ah thought thyt might be iyt.. but HOW.. thyts were ye go'at mæ stumped

Tony: hehe.. the bottom of each segment has a one way latch and once complete only the final latch has a way to start a chain reaction to unlock all previous latches and so collapse the helmet!!

Alan: AHH!.. so iyt's lit the rod fur the servo.. but iys micro an' hus locks! gotcha!

Tony: Exactly!

Guillotine: I can't confess I know what you are both talking about.. and I have a Masters in engineering.

Alan: Iyt's lit .. an umbrella but hunners o' thum awe oan top o' wan an'oer, each wan iys layered, whyn wan iys opened the next opens efter iyt.. makin' a triangle fur the next wan tæ sit oan.. and only the last wan kin collapse the set!

Tony: see this guy?.. he's getting my gold star of the day award!

Guillotine: AH.. now I get it!

Alan: Soo.. care tæ help us Tony?

Tony: I'm very much a person you have to earn my respect before I 'help'.. but since you earned a little today, I'll help you build the hands and feet.. but YOU both have to make the hood and faceplate yourselves.. show me you were *actually* listening.

Guillotine: Alan said the A.I. would be impossible to attain..

Tony: OKAY.. I'll throw in one of my A.I.'s to the mix.. but that'll be the last thing I will help you's with.

Guillotine with a smile: bien! 

We see..

Braddock on the phone talking to a mystics antique dealer.
Lep and Firegirl looking through French clothing in a clothing store.
Peri drinking coffee at his Paris apartment on his veranda.
JJ is in London arguing with a sales assistant about the quality of a suit material.
Doom is in his library, counting strange gold coins.

We return to Hallerom Industries.. to Guillotine shouting at one of her engineers, his 'H-Tag' says 'Hello, I'm Markus'

Guillotine: WHAT PART OF 'DON'T TELL ANYONE' DID YOU FAIL TO UNDERSTAND??
Markus: I am sorry ladybossman.. but you were trying to stir a pot of soup with tyre iron..
Guillotine: Who else have you told??
Markus: erm.. I'd prefer not to say..
Guillotine: Idiot!
Markus : erm.. Reed Richard.. Dave Shaw..  Hank Pym..
Tony: You spoke to Dave Shaw?? personally?
Markus: Yes.. he hung up when I told him Hallerom was half owned by you sir.
Tony to Alan: Dave Shaw.. former intern to Reed Richards.. works for Rand now as CTO, but he's little more than a monkey over there, they throw him peanuts to dance.. Harold Meachum had the amazing fortune to meet him on the day he was getting evicted, offered him 'rent money' to sign a contract.. I have been trying to poach him from Rand for *forever*..

Alan thinks: hey this 'Dave Shaw' guy seems tæ hate Tony.. if we kin git a haud o' him.. he wid probably help us wæ the rest of Gil's suit. Seein' how Tony telt uys tæ dæ iyt oorsels.

Alan thinks: Ah'm mare proficent wæ biology thun engineering.. Ah KIN DÆ iyt..but, wid rather huv an expert oan the team..

Meanwhile.. Ares is standing in a queue to a window, we can see his surroundings, he is in Knowhere..

queue moves one forward..
queue moves one forward then
queue moves one forward then
queue moves one forward then
Ares is at the window talking to the shop assistant..

Ares: Hi! I am looking for a transport ship going to the furthest side of Kree space, I wish to book passage..
Shop Assistant: Ohw.. one just left yesterday and we don't have any others on book for another month.. sorry..
Ares: Anyone going near there or further out..
SA: Yes.. we have 'The Milano' which is set to leave in 4 hours.. ah! but it doesn't have passenger quarters, only crew quarters.. indicating it is 'cargo only'
Ares: I don't mind..
SA: What??.. you realize you might be sleeping on the floor.. for.. perhaps months right??
Ares: How much?
SA: 50,000 credits..
Ares: WHOA.. I fear my total amount is short.. at 20,000 credits, and even at that.. *that* is a premium price to pay for travel!
SA: it says 'includes cheerful music free of charge'.
Ares: bargain then.. I'll be right back

Ares goes over to Houuruphil's FAMOUS COMPORIUM TO ELICIT EXCITEMENT!!
It is a pawn shop..

Ares walks in and a bell tinkles behind him a voice from the back of the messy shop.. 'ooonnee mminute!'

Ares to self: okay.. keep it together.. serious business face on, yes I am interested in making 'money'.. yes.

Shop-Keeper: HIII.. I am Houuruphil.. most people just call me Houuru
Ares: Why not 'Phil'?
Houuruphil: What??
Ares: Phil is easier to say and if you were going to have a nickname..
Houuruphil: Oh dear.. you have been around humans too long, haven't you?.. okay okay.. yes that's fine call me 'Phil'.. buying or selling?
Ares: Phil.. today I would like to.. sell!
Phil: [raised eyebrow] okay it must be either very small or invisible.. *what* are you selling?
Ares: I have swords to sell.. as hard as these old bones [points to some bones in a glass showcase].. they rate well over 20 on phi-moz scale
Phil: Are you pulling my leg...? is this a joke?? swords?
Ares turns his back and makes two swords come out of his forearms.. turning back
Ares: see?
Phil: I once had a Zeni trader come in here with the same spiel.. 5 minutes after he left the weapons turned to glass and shattered.. not interested.
Ares: at *least* inspect them..

Phil inspects closer..
Phil: These are asgardian weapons.. build in an asgardian forge ..what are *you* doing with them?
Ares quickly: I'm Asgardian.

Ares thinking: Just swallow your pride if you want the money!... this is taking forever.. just buy them!!

Phil:How much do you want for them?
Ares: Worth *at least* 100,000 credits.. at least..
Phil: That's not what I asked.. how much would you be prepared to take for them? best price
Ares: 75,000 credits and not a credit less..
Phil: 50,000..
Ares: done!

Ares is back at the window.. there was no queue this time.

Ares: this was much easier! no queue.. [smiles]
SA: because most of the ships have left.. a Kree warship is on it's way here looking for some 'outlaws'..
Ares: Ah!.. is that ship.. The Milano still taking 'cargo'?
SA: better hurry!

Ares pays the transport fee and runs towards to the only remaining ship at the nearby dock, he boards and no one is there..

Ares thinks: is this the right ship??

Ares turns round to the open rear door to see Drax standing and pointing at him

Drax: you are attempting to stowaway upon our vessel!
Mantis: I sense no deception in him.

Rocket comes barrelling out of the bar.. closely followed by Groot

Rocket: RUNNNN.. THE KREE ARE COMING.. RUNNN
Drax: Why is it we are the last to know these things?
Rocket quickly takes charge of the vessel and begins takeoff with everyone, except Quill and Gamora, on board

Rocket: We gotta go pickup I-spill and Gam-gam-legs.. coz they wanted a 'romantic' hour together.. they are on the 'observatory' near the roof of the skull.

Rocket: Who's the beefcake with the bad smell?
Drax: I shower regularly. Your insinuation of my bad smell is unflattering, considering..
Rocket: Not you dumb-dumb! Mr. Dominatrix over here..

Ares: Hi.. I'm Ares. [a bit embarrassed] I'm Olympian..
Rocket: What or who is an Olympian?? You look Asgardian..
Ares: Yes.. let's just go with that!

The group reach the roof of the skull, we see through the window Quill and Gamora wearing sheets like toga's only half covering their bodies, Gamora's left boob is uncovered but we cannot see it as the couple are dancing closely chests pushed up to each other ..

Rocket: OHW NOOO.. I DID NOT WANT TO SEE THAT TODAY
Groot: GROOOTT
Drax: Disgusting!.. when they stop do you think we will see the left boob of Gamora?

From behind the window the couple notice The Milano and begin shouting at the crew, a metal window beam to support the window covers Gamora's left boob

Drax: Oh that is disappointing!

Quill takes a remote from out of his jacket that is part of pile of clothes and aims it at The Milano, clicking the button, the front blast shield closes meaning the crew can no longer watch them.

Rocket: I seen Quill do this before..okay second..aaand bam!

Rocket has reached down and flipped a switch under the pilots control panel and the blast shields raise.. Gamora and Quill are now dressed and a Kree Warship is behind The Milano, Gamora and Quill are waving their arms to gesture about the Warship..

Rocket: What is that..?? are they bragging about having sex by waving their arms in joy??

The Warship opens fire narrowly missing The Milano and blasting the window.. Quill uses his Star-Lord spacesuit and covers Gamora's mouth with a respirator.. they fly out of the now broken window through space toward The Milano

Moments later inside The Milano..

Quill: ROCKET!! you *didn't* get I was gesturing there was *something* behind you??
Rocket: Well.. I just thought you were happy about all the 'love making' you both were doing!
Quill: it's sex.. no wait.. love making..
Gamora: yes it's sex. now shut up and get our asses out of here!

Ares: Hi.. I'm Ares by the way.
Quill: nice to meet you.
Gamora: CAN WE LEAVE NOW PLEASE? BEFORE WE ARE BLASTED INTO SHREDS!?

The Milano takes off but the Kree Warship pursues..

Back at Houuruphil's FAMOUS COMPORIUM TO ELICIT EXCITEMENT!!
Phil is standing over some Kree soldiers holding the two swords which are dripping in Kree blood..

Phil is slightly stunned: good purchase!

Missiles are exploding around the ship as pilots Quill and Rocket dodge the strikes

Ares: I know I'm new here and everything.. but why don't I just go over there and..
Rocket interrupts: ..and give them stiff talking to?? give them a spanking with your dominatrix ping-pong paddle??.. no go on.. what were you going to say?

Ares: And.. rip their ship apart..?

The Guardians are a bit stunned at this statement.

Ares: Can I borrow a respirator?

Rocket: If you're gone for more than an hour and we have to come over there and find you spanking each of them for your kinky pleasure.. your cargo contract is void!
Quill: yes.. and no refunds!

Ares: ooookay.

Gamora: they are saying if you die, we are not contractually obligated to retrieve your body and take it to your homeworld.

Rocket: wasn't that clear??.. *I* thought it was clear..
Quill: So did I.. yeah.. *totally crystal clear*

We see Ares put on a respirator standing at the back of the emergency pod air hatch as the air is sucked out into space..

Ares: As Alan might say.. Let us rock!

Ares launches himself at great speed to Kree Warship behind The Milano.. creating a hammer from his shoulder at exactly one second before hitting the Warship.. Ares smashes through the hull. He begins ripping the Kree into pieces and smashing them with his hammer..Rocket is watching in the rear view screen.. 

Rocket: Hammer time!
Rocket: Ohw!.. he's gone into a second room.. good start. now he's dead. boo-hoo.

The Warship starts to explode but just before its last large explosion Ares shoots out in what the team would later call a 'Space-Bike'. 

Quill cagily to Rocket: did you.. *secure* like I asked.. that other.. *cargo* we have downstairs?
Rocket: I remember 'blah blah blah symbiote.. blah valuable reward money blah blah kick you in the teeth.. blah blah blah shave you'
Quill: so. that's a no then. .. Honestly all you had to do was check the shield modulator YOU rigged for it..
Rocket: sorry!!.. I was excited for Bingo night at the bar! .. by the way you didn't even ask how much we won..
Quill: How much did you win??
Rocket: we lost 10,000 credits!.. but it's the taking part that's important!
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: Don't tell him that! He'll just get madder..
Quill: so it would have been 15,000 but you won 5000 back.. great! It's still 10,000 credits!

Meanwhile at Hallerom Industries..

Tony has left, Hank Pym, Dave Shaw and Alicia Osborne are standing staring at the partially made iron suit.. Guillotine, Alan and Markus are standing in darkness behind them at the console

Hank: I say we tear it down and start again..
Dave: Man.. that iys yur solution fur everythin' Hank.. we could huv this up an' running TODAY..
Hank: Don't talk like a doofus.. you're smarter than that. it's OLD TECH.. I don't see you recommending muskets to the Rand military division..
Alicia to Hank: Nanotech?
Dave interjects: No way.. this iys a auld fashioned hot rod.. deserves some respect!
Alicia: Dave.. I'm more Biotech than engineering.. and if you think it's easy being Norman Osborn's niece.. I had to claw my way up inch by inch, earning each person's respect as I climbed.. my point?
Biotech is the future, even the designer of this very suit has moved on to biotech based designs. So.. your point is moot.
Dave: [closes eyes and puts fingers to his temple, like trying to guess a playing card] Ah'm sensing thys iys becomin' less an' less o' an engineering problem.. an' mare an' mare o' a *you* thing.. so lets æsk the owner shall we? Ah'm sure we could use some guidance!

Guillotine: I am up for whatever stops my arm being in the most pain..
Alicia: We can fix that with our new Nanosprites..
Guillotine: I have had *some* nano repair with the Nanos from Hallerom administered by a Doctor.. it's a magic based injury..
Alicia: OKAY.. this just got too weird for me. I'm out. .. ..  and Markus.. I'm de-friending you on my social media. goodbye!
Markus: [sad] ohhww..

Dave: An' then there wur two. Hank?
Hank: okay okay.. let's get this old hunk of junk running.. anything to put a frown on Stark's smug git of a face!

Back in The Milano the symbiote is trying to bond with Ares..

Ares: I'm pretty open minded about inter species relationships.. but this is a *bit* too far for me..

Rocket: BLAST IT!
Quill: Utbay remem-bay.. on the reward..-ay [attempting pig latin]
Rocket: BLAST HIM!

Gamora: NO ROCKET! a contract is a contract!

Mantis: Why doesn't the Asgardian bond? .. She seems to love him..
Gamora: fondling the creature is NOT helping!.. can't you make it sleep??
Mantis: This kind does not sleep.. besides.. she is so happy and in love with the 'beefcake'..

Ares: oookay.. this has gone too far..
Ares to Symbiote : Either let me go.. or find out why countless worlds fear me..

Rocket from the background mumbling, walking away: never heard o' ya..but wwoo 'worlds fear me'

Mantis: She is saying even IF you hurt her, she will love you always..
Ares: FLIP!.. All I said was 'I liked the shiney monster and thought it looked cool..' you have some issues you need to work out..

Ares creates two swords from his arms cutting off many of the symbiotes tentacles.. unseen by the team, we see one tiny tenticle about an inch long zip round Ares' back and absorb into his skin. 

Mantis: She says 'I will always be *with* you' ..then she made some heart smiley faces in her mind.
Ares a little distrubed: Always good to meet a fan.

Groot grows in size and makes extra arms to collect all of the symbiote and push the main part back inside the field generator.. Gamora flips the switch.

Gamora: Done! 

Moments later back in the cockpit..

Ares: I never asked... where are we going?
Rocket: Get this guy!.. buys a ride, don't know where the bus goes! HAHA that's rich!
Gamora: Xandar.. the Xandarians are offering a reward for that Klyntar symbiote..
Quill: One.. we intend to collect.. money money yo!
Ares: So Andromeda..
Quill: yup!
Ares: any chance you could drop me off near the Sovereign homeworld?
Quill: nope!

Gamora: We have some .. history.. with them.
Ares: even if you were .. remotely.. in the area, I could use the 'space bike' and respirator.. and of course I would throw in an extra 5000 credits for your trouble.. I remind you I paid 50,000 credits for this 'ride'..
Quill: 50,000? man what a gyp!.. so they are charging 15,000 credits to have us on the notices? *I* am SO going to ask for a refund next time we are back there!
Rocket: I lost 10,000 at bingo.. he's offering 5000 and we made 35,000 just letting him on board.. and he 'saved' us from the Kree.. I say all's fair in 'love and war' haha
Drax: That is a good point about the Kree.. I did not mention it.. but I too lost at gambling..
Gamora and Quill: DRAX!!
Gamora: How much??
Drax: A lot.. I didn't want to to say anything in case your reaction was that you didn't like me at that moment. Which I see happening before me.
Gamora: How. much. 
Drax: 37,000 credits.
Quill: OHW COME ON!!
Drax: But I was *sure* the little rat couldn't keep losing! I find it odd it did so many times.
Rocket: HAHA.. and I get heat for 10,000.. man! your rations are going to slim for a month!! no pudding for you!
Drax: [sad] ohww.. I very much like pudding.

Ares: So is that a yes on the Sovereign homeworld..
Gamora: yes. we don't seem to have a choice.

The Crew are finishing up lunch when they arrive near the Sovereign's home system..

Rocket: How much exactly is this *reward*..?
Quill: 10 Million credits
Rocket: WHAT? and you are sweating me and Drax here, over a few lousy credits??
Quill: But what if it didn't come through..  as Gamora says.. as usual.. 'something went wrong'? huh what about then.. don't have an explanation do you..

Ares stands at the back of the ship ready to go.. no one sees him.. no one is listening

Ares: nice to meet you all..

No one stops arguing..
Ares raises his hand and waves.. he gets on his space-bike puts on his respirator and moves the bike to the air-lock..

Mantis looks behind herself, sensing slightly through feelings, then sees Ares is gone..

Mantis: Beefcake is gone..

Quill looks up and nods.. and returns to the argument.
Quill to Rocket: You only think of yourself.. y'know that?
Rocket to Quill: Bite me and the space-bike I rode in on..

Ares blasts away.. he feels lonely.. but randomly he feels a warmness [this is the symbiote trying to 'help' him]

Back in Paris, Lep and Firegirl (Isabella Garcia) are enjoying their 'girls day out' looking through clothing..

Lep: T'anks for doin thys Isabella..
Isabella: [happily] De nada mi amiga!
Lep: How long have you been a member?
Isabella: I knew Peregrine for a while now, and Guillotine then Captain Bretana.. charming man, but a little arrogant sometimes.. I joined Champions of Europe a few years ago but have not been very active..
Lep: I have been calling the new team 'Euro-Avengers'.. all cool n' stuff
Isabella: hmm.. bueno.. I like this.
Lep: be sure tæ bring dat up at da next meetin'!
Isabella: Si claro!
Lep: Ah'm a little worried dat ma man would stært tæ ignore mæ.. yknow dat we do the naughty enough..an' Alan seems fine.. but again næ reason tæ give excuse wit no buyin somethin' nice lookin.. so he can see down me top hahaha
Isabella: jejeje.. I don't know Alan but I am sure he is a fine fellow.. he quickly became part of the team and won your heart.. not easy around here.. I know for sure!
Lep: What do you mean?
Isabella: Well I have been trying to be 'part of the team' for years.. Cap and Guillotine tell me 'you need more experience!' .. then I say 'How do I get experience if you don't let me be part of the team?' then they say 'yes it's catch 22.. maybe next time.' next time never comes.. I was so happy when as you call him 'Peri' phoned me.. I was excited at the thought of a cause.. but when I heard it was for further friendship.. I was still very happy. Glad to be needed and make a new friend into the bargain!
Lep: OH WOW.. Ah hud næ idea there wis a waiting list.. erm.. sorry about dat.
Isabella: Es no nada.. esta bien amiga. .. besides.. good that's it's a girl huh? [wink]
Lep: no sure oan dat.. girls vs boys.. we might scare them off! haha
Isabella: jeje

Meanwhile on a moon in the Sovereign System ..

Adam Warlock is overseeing an installation of a solar system warping device, his engineers are working hard to get everything exact.. Ares is heading towards the sovereign homeworld, but as he passes the moon he sees the gigantic installation and it glimmering in the sunlight..

Ares thinks: try there first.. might be a time saver.

Ares arrived at the installation.. he shouts towards Adam..

Ares: Hello!.. I'm looking for Adam Warlock.. do you know him? have you seen him?
Adam laughs: I am he.
Ares: Ohw good.. I need some assistance dispatching a foe..
Adam: Am I your servant now?? NO. I am King.
Ares: Well.. let me explain..
Adam: I *think* I have heard enough or your mix of madness and foolery. Leave or die.
Ares: Listen.. I merely want a couple of days of help, then I'm gone.. and death is not on my cards today.
Adam: You tweet like a little bird that has lost it's food.. die now for my sanity of silence.

Adam creates a huge blast shockwave towards Ares.. but asif.. in slow motion, Ares faces away from the blast and makes 100's of swords to shield himself.. his face is in so much pain.. it is upsetting to see.. the swords shield him from the blast and then Ares sends them against Adam.. Adam disintegrates 90% of them but a few manage to get through and cut his body badly.. he self heals.. however this has given Ares time to create more..

Ares: Fear me.. I am 'The God of War'!

1000 weapons come round his back at Adam.. and Adam is a *little* afraid.. Adam throws up a bubble shield, the first 200 swords shatter.. then one cracks the shield then another, then one breaks through then another deeper..

Adam: Such power! What or who possibly could you not kill??
Ares: Doctor Doom!
Adam: Stop! I will help! He is an enemy of my people.. he has stolen many of our ancient artifacts..
Ares: hmm.. I wish you had simply listened..

The whole time attacking Adam in the bubble shield Ares had been making more weapons.. we see Ares on his space-bike with around 2000 weapons hovering behind him..

Ares thinks: I am exhausted.. I *might* pass out.. hope he doesn't see that..

Back at Hallerom Industries the guys have just put the finishing touches to Guillotines new suit..
Guillotine steps into the circle of light.. the suit twinkling in Red and Gold, the helmet is a open metal hood with a three quarters faceplate  still revealing Guillotines eyes..

Guillotine: Engage flight mode.

Some yellow sunglasses with virtual screens drop over her eyes as she levitates..

Dave: Hows the ærm?

Guillotine: I am not sure what you all did.. but it is much much better thank you!

Dave turns to Markus: We made a impulse detector iyn the lateral forærm, wen Guillotine tenses tæ move iyt picks up thyt she wa'nts tæ move an' sends juice tæ the shoulder an' elbow servos..

Hank: Comfortable in there?.. young lady you cut a niiice figure with that suit hehe
Guillotine: Yes.. and I can't thank you enough.. yknow I DO like older gents.. are you single Hank?
Hank: Even if I wasn't I would suddenly be single for you! hehe
Guillotine: hehe.. okay we will arrange a date, possibly next week. we sync our schedules and agree eh?
Hank: Sounds good!

Dave looks around a bit mystified by all the sudden romance and flirting..

Alan to Dave: Ah widnæ look iyt me.. Ah'm spoken fur!
Dave: ha.ha. very funny.. hæy wer ur ye fæ?
Alan: Stirling.. yursel?
Dave: Dumbarton..
Alan: Ohw aye.. Ah ken Dumbarton.. yon Castle n' thyt.. 'takeaway capital o' the west coast!' haha
Dave: haha yuv go'at thyt right!

Markus: I haven't understood a word either of you have said since before I first phoned Mr. Shaw..

Dave: He dusnæ ken o' iyt..
Alan: Aye.. dusnæ mætter, Ah ay seen a load o' Latinos dæ thyt iyn movies, gee'n iyt Spanish lingo tæ wan an'oer, gees us the upper haun wæ Scots hehe
Dave: Aye Ah suppose [smiles]

Hank and Guillotine have been talking.. we catch up with them.. both are talking loudly because of the jets.

Hank: So the tests are pretty standard for these types of personal armor suits, except the sides of your face are a little exposed.. your *sure* you don't want a full faceplate?
Guillotine: I am sure.. felt too claustrophobic, besides even though it is a hood, it is a solid piece when up as long as I look down nothing should hurt me..
Hank: OK. Please fly into that concrete block.. head first

Guillotine aims her face down and headbutts in to the huge concrete block.. the block suffers the worst of it.. looking like a massive bullet hole.. the suit de-powers for a split second and comes back on..

Hank: DAVE! we need to tweak the power couplings..
Dave: Righto!

The two work on the suit quickly..

Hank: Annnd done!
Dave: Iyt wis a loose connection iyn the stabilizing servo..shouldnæ ever be loose again.

Hank: try again..

Guillotine now with more confidence smashes into the concrete block again.. the block shatters to pieces, a second block is there.. Guillotine rams that one too.. which also shatters to pieces..

Markus: We're running out of blocks.. just fyi!

Two blocks remain..

Hank: try on-board weapons

Guillotine: engage assault mode.

Her chest begins to glow with electricity, two concealed weapon compartments pop out of her arms and she begins firing.. many many little square razor sharp blades impact into the block wall

Guillotine: *this* I like.. what's the capacity?
Hank: ohww around a 1000 ?.. the actual cartridge is in the feet for quick restock.. just click the boots on here [points to a flat stand with metal tendrils extended] .. and it'll put in a new cartridge of around 500 in each foot.

At that moment Ares and Adam Warlock crash through the ceiling..

Ares says in a very cool and definitive way: 
We got help!

... ... .. 

Guillotine: THE DOOR IS RIGHT THERE!
[points to the shutter doors]




----------
THE END.
----------

Episode 3 : Euro-Avengers 'I Reality Love You' --- Episode 5: Euro-Avengers 'What a Tangled Web We Weave When First We Practise to Perceive.." + BONUS 'Exposition Theater'

Click here ^^^

-------

Miss an episode?
See here:

Episode 1: Euro-Avengers - Assemble!
Episode 2: Euro-Avengers 'Matter of Opinion'
Episode 3 : Euro-Avengers 'I Reality Love You'
Episode 4: Euro-Avengers 'Another Day in Paradise'
Episode 5: Euro-Avengers 'What a Tangled Web We Weave When First We Practise to Perceive.." + BONUS 'Exposition Theater'
Episode 6 : Euro-Avengers 'BOSS FIGHT!'

------------

Tri-Annual 2018-2022: 

Part 1: Reality-Avengers (Euro-Avengers) Tri-Annual [Fanfic] 

Part 2: Reality-Avengers (Euro-Avengers) Tri-Annual [Fanfic] 

Part 3: N/A

Euro-Avengers #3 Fanfic "I Reality Love You!"

Euro-Avengers #3 Fanfic
"I Reality Love You!"

Start.. how JJ returned.

We are in an all black room with only dim reflected light, the walls seem marble in texture, a spider climbs up a wall 2/3rds up it changes to a ball of light.. the now floating ball says : I CAN SEE!


The ball creates a screen on the far wall of the room. it watches all the events that happened since it last existed,


Ball: AH.. NOW I KNOW! I must never die, I must never die again! I existed as an anachronism, fragments left over from a fallen timeline..I will use this method to never die again.. EVER!


The room vanishes by being sucked into itself.


A man with a black coat, black eyes and black bowler hat begins briskly walking down New Bond Street, doffing his hat to people in a cheery manor. JJ is just happy to have 'new clothes' of a new body.

JJ thinks: 'This is a 'new book' for me.. I *may* even turn over a new leaf'

2 years later..

At the mobile base Braddock and Guillotine are *slightly* arguing..

Guillotine: And.. how is that exactly? I provide the financial backing for our.. 'adventuring'!

Braddock: I didn't mean anything by that. Listen, I misspoke.. [reframes his statement] 'heroic endeavours' .. and as Peri said.. you are too unwell to continue..

Guillotine: Alan has proposed a suit of armor.. much like Iron Man's. THIS will mean I *can continue*.

Braddock: We have been friends a long time.. you know I say this out of only care for your safety.

Guillotine: It's not that.. it's that it is patronizing, insulting you have such a lack of faith in my capabilities and resolve.

Peri: No one is calling you a fool. We do not know the capabilities of such a suit until Alan builds it.. is it more fragile than Iron Mans? Harder to control in flight?.. how well *can* Alan build it.. is it safe?

The door bangs twice and Peri hits the button.. the door lowers and Alan and Lep walk in with a paper bag..

Alan: McD's anywan? Bonnie French sunny dæy oot there. Me n' Lep hud oors. smashin'!.. ...  Wits up wæ awe *your* faces..??

Guillotine: Alan.. please, can we build my suit of armor quickly. today even?

Alan: Erm.. It doesnæ work lit that Gil.. First Ah need tæ inspect the pærts, then draw a schematic.. then make a prototype.. test efter test efter test.. no wa'nt ye tæ git hurt, testin' works oot the kinks.. then a 'redux' takin wit Ah learnt fæ buildin an testin' tæ make the first proper suit.. which will still need testin'.. should take aboot 3 months, an' Ah'm bein' slim wæ thyt coz Ah kin feel the eagerness fæ ye.. mare lit a year. 
Guillotine: you are kidding.. yes? .. [sad face] a joke?

Alan: Ohw flip! .. listen Gil.. we're friends an' everythin', meaning Ah'll try an' be ays quick ays Ah kin. .. but y'know Ah've no built a suit lit this afore, Tony Stark hus hud.. Ah dunno.. a million goes ayt iyt. Ah'v no. Ah'm just stærtin'.. so iyt'll take time.. yknow?

Guillotine: I understand. Well. Let's go!

Alan: OH!.. okay. Lep dæ ye wa'nt tæ come? Might be a bit bornin'.. might no.
Lep: Oh.. Ah'm fine fur dat. First time iyn France.. think Ah'll soak iyn some atmosphere.. few glasses o' wine an'awl [wink].

After Alan, Guillotine and Lep have left, Cap and Peri, as Ares was off world, they are alone enough to speak frankly..

Cap: Am I *really* the bad guy here?
Peri: I feel the same. I mean her arm is not hanging out the socket, but she can barely lift it without being in great pain. The doctor who came last week said it's all healed except for a little nerve damage, so we can assume it's because of the *other* properties of the sword.

Cap: At least Alan was speaking sensibly.. which to be honest; pleasantly surprised me.
Peri: I have known 'Gil' for the longest time.. she will not listen to Alan. As soon as she can fit inside the suit she will make it her own.. nothing Alan can say to her to make her to do otherwise.
Cap: Let's just *hope* for a miracle..

Meanwhile at Hallerom Industries..

Alan: Sooo.. that crate's go'at some boady panels an' some auto guidance circuits .. good find! these ur prolly the wans the man uses himsel!

Guillotine: Tre bonn!

Alan: Ah see wits been goin oan..

Guillotine: What do you mean?

Alan: Och Ah jist meant the suit.. how come Tony uses A.I. .. iyt's no an easy thing tæ control this set-up ken?

Guillotine: Ah! I see.. can you get an A.I.?

Alan: That's goiny be the hærdest pært.. Ah mean.. so far even iyn these crates we fun aboot 60% o' the original suit..but withoot an A.I. .. there's næ chance o' controllin' awe these gadgets. Flyin' a'naw.. we're missing the stabilizin' servos..
Guillotine: My engineers could probably fabricate them..not their field, but they are *very* smart.

Alan: okay.. okay. 
          aye..good. 
          We're missin the feet fur the rockets so far a'naw.. we huv mæst o' the torso, the legs, shudders, upper ærms.. missin' the heed, hauns an' faceplate.. hmm.. Ah think Ah could make thyt, the faceplate Ah mean.. no sure oan the heed. Ah mean Ah kin see the slot ayt the back o' the torso wer it comes oot.. but in oor torso.. iyt's no there. Ah dunno how Tony does it.. seems a sequential armor plating, but how oan earth he fits iyt awe iyn there.. Ah'm yit tæ discover!

Guillotine: And the hands?

Alan: The power regulator an' source we huv.. blastin' folk, naw.. cannæ be done. Ah could rig iyt wæ bullets.. no sure how tæ git a tiny mini-gun iyn there.. but could work somthin' oot Ah suppose.
Oar.. an electric blast.. but we don't huv the isolator circuitry.. Ah could make wan but that just means iyt'll be awe the longer.

Guillotine smiles and says: I understand... and most dearly, thank you for doing this for me! you have already earned your friendship from me.

Alan: Och.. don't talk lit thyt too much oar Ah might forget Lep n' hit oan ye! haha

Guillotine smiles: bien.

Sometime Later back at the Mobile Base, Widow-Spider and Guillotine are returning.. Braddock approaches them.

Guillotine: Hey Cap!.. that was a productive day!
Alan: Aye .. Ah fair enjoyed yon challenge a'naw!

Cap: Listen.. Peri and I have been talking, we are unhappy with the current.. 'situation'.. we are discussing teaming up together and going our own way. I just thought yous should know..

Guillotine is stunned.

Alan: IS this aboot me? .. aboot Lep?.. coz if yur dead set oan leen'.. mibe we could lee insteed?

Cap: This is about Guillotine's injury.

Alan: Well.. Ah dunno wit tæ say aboot thyt.

silence.

Alan: Och.. Ah think she'll be fine wance she's go'at the suit n' thyt.. jist takes time.

Cap: you *really* think Guillotine will listen to you once it's built??  She will not. fact.

Alan: C'mon.. ye huv tæ come n' go wæ o'er folks opinions..

Guillotine: Am I so pathetic you will not fight alongside me?

Peri comes out of the mobile base, having overheard the conversation..

Peri: Watching people die is not a sport. Often I have felt you treat our defense of humanity like a sport.. a hobby you participate in. 

Alan: OFFT.. don't haud back noo!!.. flip sake! brutal!

Peri: And who ARE you?? I feel Guillotine 'adopted' you so quickly..

Guillotine: ENOUGH! Alan is a new and powerful friend..

Peri: Yes.. it's the 'powerful' part I wonder about.. why do you hold on to him so closely??

Alan: WHOA.. Ah wis jist meant tæ be a pært timer.. a temp. Ah dinnæ wa'nt ony hassle guys..

Peri: And now we have a reality warper in our midst thanks to him..

Guillotine: THAT'S ENOUGH!

Braddock: No.. he has a point, we saw what madness in reality warping can do.. I like her, but we know reality warping and madness is a baaad cocktail.. I have had thoughts about this before for JJ, and now see it's appropriate for Lep, for her safety and ours.. she should go to Division 3.

Alan: WIT???

Braddock: Don't paint me as the bad guy here.. too many times I let things slide. and people died. She will come to no harm.

Alan stunned: 'Division 3 'iys wer reality warpers go tæ DIE!

Braddock: I'm not saying it to hurt Lep.. in fact I consider her a friend, I only want what's best for her.. including her mental health, c'mon Alan you know how hard she struggles with reality and being a reality warper.. that's not good, for us and for her!.. I have seen what a reality warper can do.. first hand Alan.. Jim Jaspers. I don't take that lightly.

Alan: So YOUR solution iys tæ lock her iyn a mental asylum fur reality warpers iyn a Division who cannæ help the wans they aweready huv??

Alan: She hus problems wæ reality.. an' yur sayin' tæ take the wan wee bit o' reality she hus away fæ her?

Alan stares intensely at Braddock

Alan: naw. speak again tæ mæ oan the matter an' ye know wit hæppens. She iys ma problem an' ma lassie tæ help ays Ah see fit, no yurs.


Lep has returned but is hiding behind the mobile base listening in, she thinks about Alan 'oh wow Ah LOVE dat man! 💖.💖' 

Peri: c'mon Cap let's go..
Cap nods.

Meanwhile..

JJ stands on a rooftop watching the argument with glee..

Thinking:

JJ: I'll follow Captain Britain and Peregrine.. they seem like they have some sort of plan.

At that moment..

Widow-Spider: OHW MA HEED!
Widow-Spider hits the floor in agony! grabbing his own head.
Widow-Spider: AH UM SO GOINY KILL WHO DID THYS TÆ MÆ!

Widow looks up and can 'sense' JJ..

WS: YUR FUR IYT PAL!

JJ shocked thinks: How can he see me??.. I have made myself invisible!?

WS leaps upon the building with one leap and punches JJ full force in the face.. we hear a loud crack as his jaw breaks.. which JJ then instantly heals, JJ punches WS in the stomach with the same force WS used to punch JJ's jaw.. WS doubles over in pain. JJ starts laughing.

Lep see's this..

Lep: OHW NO YOU DON'T! DATS MY MAN!

Lep creates a pocket universe and sucks JJ into it.. in that universe is a googlplexiant amount of WS's attacking JJ. JJ is slowly deteriorating even as fast as he can heal himself.

Guillotine: STOP.. do you want to prove Cap right? That you shouldn't be around other people?? Is your anger your only justification for murder?  How then are you different from him?

Lep stops making near infinite Widow-Spiders..

Lep: fair enough..

She leaves JJ floating in the pocket universe and floats up to WS on the rooftop..

Lep says sadly: you okay ma love?

WS coughs out: YE huv tæ bi jokin'.. that's how hard Ah hit?.. wow Ah hud næ idea Ah wis so buff..

Lep: Dats me fella! [wink] tough ays auld boots so ye know ye are!

Guillotine: Can you heal him?

Lep: Ah'm not a doctor dont'cha know? If Ah was.. sure wouldn't Ah be healin' yourself.

Guillotine: ohw.. I didn't know your powers worked like that.

3 hours later and the sun is setting.. the remaining trio are sitting on lawn chairs at the door of the mobile base, drinking tea.. Alan has bandages around his torso.

Alan: So.. somthin' Ah ay wa'nted tæ ask ye..
Lep: Go oan.. better no be cheeky mind!
Alan: If ye make food an' we eat iyt.. iys iyt real?
Lep: Ah hav not the foggiest clue.. but Ah widnæ advise iyt!.. me power isn't seemingly based oan imagination.. but what Ah know works. An' if Ah leave somthin fur a few hours.. it seems tæ vanish.
Like.. when Ah made da shower.. Ah know how a shower works, water comes up da pipe an' out da shower head. Water molecules remove dirt grime.. and *other* tings [winks]
Alan: hehe

Suddenly the sky turns black & street lights turn in to black suited men/women, who stun WS and Guillotine..

Agent: You're coming with us ma'am.
As they slap a collar on Lep.

Widow-Spider and Guillotine come round, seems around 30 minutes later... and Lep is.. gone!

WS: You HUV TÆ be jokin' mæ!
Guillotine: ohw no! .. .. ..  Listen.. we both need rest, can you wait for 2 hours or more so we can sleep and be fresh to find her?
WS: Ah dunno.. feel kinda dizzy. Iyt's been an exciting ho'ur oar so..

Meanwhile in Sweden Division 3 Facility, Cap and Peri are talking to a guard..

Cap: Thanks again for seeing me on such short notice.. everything was handled swiftly and smoothly. I just want what's best for everyone..

Agent: And so do we.. thank you for the tip!

Peri almost sad: And she will be treated with respect.. oui?

Agent: We have one of the most advanced facilities of this kind right here in Sweden.. she will have nice food, great therapy and most of all learn how to feel safe with her own powers without hurting others. 

Lep from behind the door..
Lep: LET MÆ OUT YE #'@##.. AH'LL STRING EVERY LAST ONE O'YEZ! #@=~#!

Lep has a 'Reality Check' Neckbrace. It is a neckbrace that contains a collapsing blackhole, the space inside is folded to contain the blackhole which is vast. 'bigger on the inside' one might say. It emits graviton particles that drain her power.

Back in France, Guillotine and Widow-Spider are rested.. they are combing the streets of Paris looking for clues while avoiding Hydra Agents.

WS: Ah dunno..
Guillotine: I know you are pensive..but what can we do? We do not know where they are..
WS: Try Braddock on comms..
Guillotine: I did.. but no reply.
WS: Peri?
Guillotine: Hmmm.. maybe.

The duo stop in a doorway, Alan is on the ceiling of the doorway while Guillotine stands underneath.

Guillotine: Peregrine.. please come in. Peregrine.. please come in.
Peri: What do you want? .. it is late.
Guillotine: Oh good! Lep has been taken hostage..
Peri interrupts:She's not a hostage.. She's with Division 3 in Sweden.
Guillotine: WHAT?
WS: OHW NO WAY!
Peri: While I feel bad for her to be locked away like this.. but it's probably the best thing for her.. besides I have teamed up with Cap now..
Peri: Why do you fight so hard to keep Alan on the team? he is new to us. Cap is a dependable friend. He deserves to be respected, he has earned that from us, Alan has not. 

Guillotine looks at up at Widow-Spider.. 

Guillotine: to Sweden!

The duo take the mobile base to Sweden.


Shortly after we see Lep's power has been halted as JJ returns to our universe..

JJ hits the floor panting..

JJ thinks: Crazy B*!! Wow she is powerful! I even made a secondary pocket universe inside hers.. she managed to follow me inside there.. I should probably avoid her in future.


The next morning Alan and a Division 3 Agent are in a Division 3 interrogation room..


Agent: Surprisingly, the lives of reality warpers are usually short ones, due to their continued threat to our existence. We extend their lives here.. they are unable to have 'normal lives' but we see they are comfortable for their remaining time within our society.

Alan: Iyt's the same auld story.. 'crazy iys ays crazy does.' An' wæ mæ yu'v no go'at a believer..

Agent: I am not good at understanding Scots.. please can you speak English? kindly.

Alan: I will try to accommodate you.. I do not believe you and this 'facility' are what's best for Lep..

Agent interrupts: Her name is Siobhán O'Connell..

The agent spins a tablet round to show Siobhan's Facebook and absence of 1 year.

Alan: That *is* good to know.. but it matters not a jot that my girlfriend hasn't posted in a while due to being 'unwell'. I support her regardless.

Agent: You have no idea what she is capable of..

Alan interrupts: NAW YE HUV NÆ IDEA WIT AH'M CAPABLE 'O. Ah huv a genius level intellect wæ awe the abilities o' Spiderman..
[Alan stands up and speaks while walking to the door]
so unless ye huv Professor X hiddin' up yur sleave. AH'M GOINY BURN THIS PLACE TÆ THE GROON!.

Alan exits the sliding door.

Later that night Guillotine and Widow-Spider are in the mobile base hovering over one corner of the facility..

Widow-Spider: Blast iyt!

Guillotine uses small rockets on the hovering mobile base to blast the corner of the facility.. which then heals itself.

Widow-Spider: Blast iyt again!
Guillotine: but..
Widow-Spider: Jist dæ iyt!

As Guillotine launches another round of small rockets.. Widow-Spider climbs along the bottom of the mobile base ..this time Widow-Spider jumps through the gap before the building can self heal.

Widow-Spider over comms: Ah'm iyn!

The place is on red alert.. the walls are *actually* red and flashing.. like the paint itself is changing colours.. red & white & pink.

Widow-Spider: Wit kinda madhoose iys thys??

The corridor begins to twist.. unphased Widow-Spider just walks the straightest path as it twists..gravity switches and miscellaneous medical carts and medical sundries drop to the new ground.. Widow-Spider again is unphased,.. walking forward he smashes the double doors, only for them to self heal..

Widow-Spider: Riȝht!

He approaches the door and gives a gentle push; it moves one inch before returning.

Widow-Spider: Ah!

Widow-Spider climbs up upon the double doors and starts jumping up and down as gravity switches to remove him he times it.. for the 1 inch per second he saw with the doors before. At the right timing he coincides with gravity to give a huge blow to the door.. and crashes through to the other side.

Guillotine breaking up over comms: You have been an hour at least Widow-Spider.. are you okay??

Widow-Spider: Wit?? iyt only been 5 minutes!

Guillotine: I can't hear you.. you are breaking up badl..[dead signal]

Widow-Spider: Well.. so much fur backup!

Widow-Spider looks forward and sees a empty black room and nothingness with a dim light in the distance.. he looks far above to the ceiling and sees a maze.

Widow-Spider thinks: wait a minute.. wait a minute did Peter no dæ an essay oan thys?.. iys thys no a famous maze??.. ayyyee.. If Ah jump up there somthin' bad happens.. n' the maze itself is infront o' mæ but awe the wa'z ur paint'it black.. its only the reflection o' the white top o' the wa'z Ah'm see'n in the ceiling ... aye so IF Ah just walk forward..

Widow-Spider then bumps into a seemingly invisible wall..

As we pan up we see he was correct.. the walls are painted black and the tops are painted white with only a dim light source, we see the ceiling which is a huge mirror.. with 20ft spikes that were a optical illusion as so to make them not appear to those below..

The Walls are 15 feet high.. but since he is also part Spider.. Widow-Spider climbs on top of the walls and moves towards the dim light source.

Once at the dim light source.. Widow-Spider sees.. a green garden.. no a an open field full of android children happily playing..

Widow-Spider to himself: naw.. no wæy! second as soon as Ah step in there.. they will awe turn n' rip mæ tæ shreds.. Ah've seen enough movies tæ know thys wan! Ah'm no daft.

Widow-Spider webs the entire ball of dim light.. and starts to drag it around. He can hear strange noises coming from the ball.. he rips open his webbing surrounding it.. and the scene has changed.
Now it seems like a cafeteria.. with the same strange flashing red wall paint.

Widow-Spider talking to the ball: Call me suspicious.. but Ah'm still no happy aboot thys!.. at NÆ point uh'm Ah goiny go through ony portal!


Widow-Spider webs the entire ball up again and begins punching it over and over again.. until a 'crack' is heard..

Widow-Spider: sounds aboot right!

He peels off the layers of webbing and as he does the room begins to shine brighter and brighter..

in the far corner of the room is a black door, Widow-Spider goes over to it and kicks it in with a thud..
On the other side are around twelve Division 3 Agents with firearms..

Widow-Spider: Aye thys is mare ma speed!

acrobatically bouncing around  he kicks one agent in the face while webbing another.. swinging on the web he just made to come round and with one punch knockout 3 agents.. while carrying a fourth agent between his feet.. throwing him in to 4 agents who have began shooting at Widow-Spider.. as he lands

Widow-Spider: 1 +3+1+4.. an' the wan Ah webbed lees.. you two!

Widow-Spider then webs them both and continues down the hallway.. once through another set of double doors gravity changes and Widow-Spider shoots a web to sling round.. as he does a girl standing on the new 'wall' that was the ground slices the web he was swinging on with a katana.. Widow-Spider hits the floor with a thud!

Widow-Spider: Hau! .. Ah wis usin' thyt!

The two engage in battle.. Widow-Spider bouncing around giving her slight jabs in the face as she struggles to strike him..finally Widow-Spider bouncing off the double doors gives her a crack! to the back of the head which knocks her out.

Widow-Spider exits the hallway to see a elevator..

Widow-Spider: No *usually* ma 'mode o' transport'.. but Ah cannæ be bothered wæ awe thys faffin' aboot!

Widow-Spider hits the button marked B for Basement..The elevator says: Please provide your security ID and password..

Widow-Spider: Ohw flip! Voice Recognition technology! no thyt Ah've go'at awe thyt! but still iyt couldnæ un'nerstaun mæ even if Ah hud iyt!

Elevator: Non compliance detected.
And then the elevator closes its doors instantly and releases a gas.

Widow-Spider: *cough* flip! *cough*.. NAW! NO WAY MAN!

Widow-Spider then webs his own mouth to use as gas mask..

Widow-Spider thinking: Ah know!.. Ah know! no healthy!.. but awe ma poison will dæ tæ mæ.. is make mæ slowly angrier.

Widow-Spider punches a hole in the floor of the elevator and drops down on a web. Once at the bottom.. which seem FAR deeper than he expected, he opens the elevator doors from inside the lift shaft.. to his surprise, there is Peter Parker.. and Aunt May.. Aunt May speaks to Alan..'Hello Peter.. I have so missed you since you have been away.'

Widow-Spider: NÆ DANGER! .. nahh. Ah'm aff iyt! Næ thanks! Awe those feelin's died oot the first night Ah spent iyn the cauld iyn ma hoose.. wæ næ food, soakin' wet.

Widow-Spider to anonymous telepath:

Widow-Spider: Yu'v go'at two choices either git oot ma heed.. OAR Ah find ye an' rip the heed fæ yur shudders.. yur choice!

The images of Peter and Aunt May ghost away..

Widow-Spider: smært choice.

Widow-Spider can see some laboratories and medical bays.. the area is a circle with hallway encompassing the floor and leading off to each room. The outer rooms have high grade solid steel doors and are numbered.. 

Widow-Spider can slightly sense they are also magnetic..

Widow-Spider whispers: .. weird.

Widow-Spider: Riȝht.. time tæ rip some doors aff!   .. naw wait! they huv wee windæs.. aye check thyt first.. ohw aye take the web mask aff.. forgo'at. ma poison gettin' mæ a bit hepped up n' thyt. bit confused.

Widow-Spider rips off the web mask and takes a deep breath.. then whispers..

Widow-Spider: Lep ma love.. didnæ worry yursel ma hen, ma hært.. yur man's a'comin'!

Then suddenly exclaims in realization;

Widow-Spider: THYTS WHY THEY'RE MAGNETIC! Soo ye cannæ sense whos behun thum withoot lookin! gotcha! So thyt means some o' thum ur a trap.. erm.. odds oar evens?..odds seems iyn theme wæ thys place.


Widow-Spider webs the first even door to check if his supposition is correct.. the small window turns into vortex and ingests the webbing..

Widow-Spider: aye.. riȝht enough.

Checking the odd doors one by one Widow-Spider sees all manner of strange things but says..

Widow-Spider: 'Normal folk' aye that wid warp their minds.. but wæ me.. ye huv tæ up g'uy early iyn the mornin' tæ dæ thyt tæ mæ.. Ah seen things thyt wid make yon look lit a wean's picture book.

Finally Widow-Spider finds Lep and rips the door off it's hinges..

Widow-Spider: ma love!
as they embrace..
Lep almost crying: oh ma darlin'! Ah wis so afraid Ah would'nt see'cha again!
Widow-Spider: haud still..

Widow-Spider rips the reality check collar off Lep..

Widow-Spider: næ worries ma love!

Lifting up his spidey mask .. they kiss.. a kiss that feels like a thousand kisses.

From behind them they hear.. clapping..

Widow-Spider: Wit??

'Admiral' David Haller steps out of the shadows.. and says

David speaking to Alan: I am impressed by your skills. ... Can I interest you in a job?

Lep answers in place of Alan sarcastically : Prolly not.. but Ah'm a bit short o' cash.. wit did ye hav in mind?.. eejit!

David: haha.. I like you. you both [smiles]

Lep: An' why exactly ur we trusting yourself??

David: It's simple logic.. trust me and see where it goes.. we already have seen.. *this* young man's abilities and his devotion to you.. OR have us fruitlessly hunt you over and over again.. but often inconvenience you when you least expect it.

David: I'm David Haller.. I hear you know something about my father's connection with Division 3?

David: Please come.. can we talk ..[David seeing their hesitation says]...you will see there is more potential harm to me than you.

David is escorting them to his office in which they get a mini-tour of the facility,

David: Officially we are 'The Division for Extraordinarily OverPowered Humans with Mutant Abilities,' TDEOPHMA.. 'T' Dof'ma'.. or as you so succinctly put it 'The Division'.. They made me head, traditionally known as 'Admiral'..

Alan: hæd o' the madhouse eh?

David: we don't think in those terms here.. and *I have actually been in a madhouse*  what we do here is nothing like that. You'll see.


David: I'm head because.. I am powerful enough to stop their reality warping encroaching on any of ours. Lep.. was a challenge, if it wasn't for the neckbrace, I don't know if I could have stopped her.

The group reach Admiral Haller's office.. they take seats..

David almost chuckling: So I hear you were going to 'burn this place to the ground..'

Alan thumps a small bomb with flashing lights on Davids desk..

Alan: aye. ... thyt shoulda done iyt. watch oot.. iyts slightly .. nuclear.

David is stunned.

David: I have never met Peter Parker.. but you are not him.. are you?

Alan: well.. Ah guess ye cud say bæth.. aye AND naw..

David: I see.. my father, Professor Xavier spoke fondly of him often, the *very* few times I spoke to my father, he would mention to me Peter's exploits with a favourable tone.. as if he was proud of Peter Parker, whom he shared no blood with, and disappointed with myself.. While I do not agree with the praise my father heaped on him.. no.. that's too bitter.. the praise my father graciously gave him.. one thing we agree on.. Peter Parker is moral.

Alan: High horse is it?.. then how come you sit there ays king wæ awe yur contemporaries locked up lit wee slaves.. ye huv næ idea yursel wits 'real'.. delusional!

David: Mononitiny is the greatest proof that reality is.. 'real'.

David: My job is slightly boring. That's how I know I am not trapped in another's mind or universe.. it's the only way I can keep track of reality.. and Lep here.. she hasn't had time to learn that yet.

Alan: No yur decision tæ make.. thyts oors.

David to Lep: Siobhán

Lep : Shuv oan what? Ah'm fine wit the clothes Ah huv t'ank ye very much!

Alan: Ohw Ah see wit yur dæn.. okay okay.. Ah like tæ think Ah'm fair minded..

Lep: Are you both takin pants oar what? Did Ah 'blond out' fur a minute?

Alan: Ma darlin' .. ye know how Ah feel aboot ye.. aye?

Lep: Aye.

Alan: A guy came.. an agent o' this place an' showed mæ somthin'.. he showed mæ yur facebook.. an' 'real' name.. Siobhán O'Connell

Lep embaressed: Don't you be playin' wit a girls heart now Alan McKay! If a girl looks lit me an' you hit oan her.. it'll no be 'threesomes' you'll be gettin! It'll be a crack to the jaw an' a 'onesome'!

Alan: obviously.. Lep's no ready.. in anywise o' you stickin' anythin doon her throat.. I'll rip the heed aff ye. Admiral oar no.

David: Okay.. I understand. This facility is here whenever SHE decides to use the beneficial amenities it provides.

Lep: yuz are weird! talkin' weird! iyts upsettin' mæ.

Alan: næ danger ma love.. we'll be oota here in a flash..

David: .. forgive me but.. that's not a threat about the bomb.. because I felt we worked that part out..

Alan: naw. we're fine. lee us alæn.

David: Okay.. Guillotine is waiting for you in the foyer.. she says to tell you she got bored waiting in the cafeteria..OH.. you've been going non stop for 2 days, we thought you'd tire out before this so that was one of the measures.. to extend time, you barely flinched. wow.

The couple are escorted to the foyer lobby by the Admiral and a few agents.. where they see Guillotine and Peri standing talking.. Alan nods at David as a goodbye, and David nods back respectfully..

We hear mid-part of Guillotine and Peri's conversation..

Peri: I had no idea what he meant when he said this place.. it was too creepy.. a creepy pasta waiting to happen..
Guillotine: Don't worry about it.. just work on making Braddock see.. that we're not all baby chicks for him to play mother hen to!
Guillotine: AH bonne! you return to us.. I had almost asked to rent a room here..
Peri interrupts: I just want to say sorry for any distress I have caused..

Alan and Lep look at each other..

: iyt's fine.

Lep: friends kin be asshats sometimes... as long as iyts only half the time with you bein one da other half.. iyts fyne.

In a dark room Admiral David Haller is talking to a blue wall called 'The Tide' .. The Tide is a supercomputer created by many reality warpers.. in theory it can answer any question put to it..

David: How was Alan McKay/Widow-Spider able to break the reality check collar? it's meant to be unbreakable?

The Tide: He would have undoubtedly broke his bones doing so..

David: But.. how??

The Tide: Love.

David is stunned.

--------------
THE END
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Epilogue:

Inside the mind of The Tide.. The Tide is asking and answering questions to itself..


The Tide: What is Alan McKay's idea of 'heroism'?

The Tide: All indications point to Alan's 'cloned memory' remembering an alternate SHIELD timeline up until he was created.. then he is part of our HYDRA timeline..

The Tide: but he doesn't seem to know too much about it .. as HYDRA doesn't have much influence in Scotland.

The Tide: In this case his memory is anachronistic. He remembers SHIELD being heroic growing up as Peter Parker.. then being unheroic after that.

The Tide: Investigation commence sequence.

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FIN
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Episode 2: Euro-Avengers 'Matter of Opinion' - Episode 4: Euro-Avengers 'Another Day in Paradise'


Click here ^^^
-------

Miss an episode?
See here:

Episode 1: Euro-Avengers - Assemble!
Episode 2: Euro-Avengers 'Matter of Opinion'
Episode 3 : Euro-Avengers 'I Reality Love You'
Episode 4: Euro-Avengers 'Another Day in Paradise'
Episode 5: Euro-Avengers 'What a Tangled Web We Weave When First We Practise to Perceive.." + BONUS 'Exposition Theater'
Episode 6 : Euro-Avengers 'BOSS FIGHT!'

------------

Tri-Annual 2018-2022: 

Part One:
Reality Avengers Tri-Annual Initiation.

Part Two:

The Ingenious Nighthawk-538

The Intoxicating Leprechaun 

The Dauntless Silver-Spider

Part Three:

Reality Avengers Tri-Annual Conclusion.