Stúff: November 2017

Scottish Spiderman Concept by Dava:
'Alan MacKay' The Widow Spider.
A clone of Peter Parker much like Ben Reilly, who escaped to Scotland after the spider-clone incident. Ben 'The Scarlet Spider' is a bit darker than Peter, Ben takes Peter's sad and dark traits but retains Peter's humor. Alan has Peter's temper. Much like the Hulk, Alan can *snap*, he has two levels of this state, first he snaps and kills 'the bad guys' second his morality switches off and he will do anything to become powerful enough to destroy all in his path.. with a mind to complete the task he got angry about. Things like; seeking out the venom symbiote, accessing Peter's advantages as an Avenger, The Iron Spider Suit.. he fears the second 'snap' the most because he *might* not come back from that, so he lives a peaceful life in the rural countryside of Stirlingshire, he goes on occasion to Edinburgh and Glasgow to fight crime, mostly not as a heroic act, but to blow off some steam.

His Purpose as a character is; 'What could Spiderman do if he didn't hold back?'
Alan's rage is much like the Hulk's, and while not increasing his abilities, it does reduce his reluctance to kill.

His name like Ben's is from Family members.. his maternal Grandmother was Scottish (Peter is a natural born inventor) and her maiden name was Moira MacKay, his Paternal Grandfather's name was Alan Parker.

Why the 'Widow Spider?' because Alan feels widowed from his life and spends all his time alone. This dynamic doesn't need explained. It can be drawn out and slowly mentioned over years.

Alan has the same abilities as Peter, he has bio-webbing, wall crawling, acrobatics, super strength. Differences are Alan's spider sense is a macguffin, it's ultra sensitive and gives him migraines. Alan's bio-webbing is slightly venomous, if he cocoons someone and they are left unchecked breathing in the venomous fumes they die, if they are not cocooned however and have access to normal oxygen they are fine, but covering someone's mouth has the same effect as cocooning them and will kill them.

Say, why are you doing this Dava?

Coz I was reading a little about 'Captain Britain'.. and man! those Americans must be like : welp we have all the powerful heroes here, let's just stereotype the flip out of people from other countries coz we don't have to care OR we don't relate to them.

Marvel what on earth are you thinking?!?

Now I'm NO fan of anything marked 'Britain' and can't wait for Scottish independence..but this Punch and Judy show Marvel has for Euro heroes has to stop, especially when it's so easy to fix! MAN.. you have TWO dudettes with swords?? The French invented or at least watersheded the rapier and you give her a Scottish claymore.. whoa!

No one says 'chum' especially during a fight. it's an upper class woose thing to say, and usually those dudes get a smack in the face and begin to cry. Who did your writer get their cues from 'Jeeves and Wooster'? written in the 1920s?

If a guy in Glasgow starts calling you 'Pal' it means he's going to rob you.
If a guy from South East England calls you 'Chum' it means he's going to try and have sex with you.

nooooo...

Forgoing that it would be better imho to rename him 'Captain England'.. you also have 'Union Jack' for some reason.. even more cause to change it to Captain England.

Q: How do you fix it?
A: Build Euro-Avengers out of 'Champions of Europe'.

Captain 'Britain' = Captain America
The Widow Spider = Spiderman
Ares = Thor
---

Now you need some suggestions to clean up the roster:

The French chick Guillotine.. give her a suit of armor, like Iron Man. one that fires square blades.
Alan designs the suit, her family half owns a subsidiary of 'Stark Enterprises France', they build it.
The Excalibur chick does NOTHING to forward the plot and only ever says embarrassing things.. cut her.
Have a Irish chick that claims she's a Leprechaun: no one believes her and thinks she's nuts.. after a long drawn out reveal ..BAM she's like Scarlet Witch! but green. Then have a backstory how she got knocked out by a glowing green meteorite, absorbed it and got her powers, but she still believes she's leprechaun.
Give Le Peregrine a bow and a nickname of 'Peri'.. make him a flying Hawkeye.
Make Ares' weapons return to him like Thor, but make it so, as lightining is to Thor; fire and lava is to Ares. Give him a full compliment of weapons but I would use a chain to differentiate him from Thor. You could make it so.. the very first original Ghost Rider stole their chain from Ares because he can make new ones.

Don't make small things a challenge..why do that? oh because you're making the American side look good? then don't expect to sell comics.. if weaker bad guys or poor situations can topple these guys.. like they needed a cry-cry coz they dropped their car keys?

either go badaz or go home.

so redux run down..

Captain 'Britain' = Captain America
The Widow Spider = Spiderman
Ares = Thor
Guillotine = Iron Man
Leprechaun = Scarlet Witch
Peri = Hawkeye

Writing the stories for them is pretty much no different than the american comics. Sprinkle in a little euro politics and social commentary.. and there you go. DONE!

Update 22/Nov/17:
But also gritter stories you can't tell in mainstream Marvel: Alan kills people, fact. While the rest of the team abhor his behaviour, they know how powerful he is and so keep him on team because they are afraid of losing his talents and abilities. Euro-Avengers wouldn't start with a huge fan base like mainstream Marvel so why not take advantage of that?

I'm thinking about Vertigo comics and their darkness, I'm thinking about Rorschach in the Watchmen movie.. how he stopped caring about human life if it was evil.. about that human guy and the little girl in that story that first caused Rorschach to kill.. Alan would not care one bit to kill that kind of a evil man just like Rorschach didn't, even though Alan is superpowered and the human is not, he has little remorse even when he is calm, and none once he's snapped.

------------

Alan wouldn't get on with Brian Braddock.. especially when he comes asking for help. Alan doesn't want to help anyone..but some toffy English guy.. no way!
Right there is a chance for the dialogue for Scottish independence. Right there the dynamic between Tony Stark and Steve Rodgers.

one side: long history together, accomplished many things.
other side: English keep voting in a council of bond villains, and generally treat Scotland like an unkempt back garden. and choke the life out of us (and the rUK) with crazy over taxation on everything. and kill people by refusing them benefits. and many more...like I said.. these English keep voting for a council of Bond villains. and be a bit racist.

Scottish, Irish and French are Celts.. fun story right there!

GO BADAZ OR GO HOME.. giving them a holdup at mcdonald's won't cut it, stories need to be as big and thrilling as the US heroes. don't expect to sell comics books if you do nothing to earn those sales.

The Euro villains are nonsense. cut them.
Grab Doc Doom.
HE is the main and only Euro villain.. rem Latveria?
Doc Doom is a badaz.. and should test the team to their limits.
job. done.

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Dava's Hitchhikers Guide to Spider-Man: The Clone Saga

For those new to the The Clone Saga, Doc Connors in an attempt to cure Peter of the Spider bite, as the radiation was killing him*, took some blood samples from Peter, these blood samples (stolen by The Jackal) ended up being used to make around 40 to 50 clones of Peter Parker/Spider-Man .. many many of them were evil, with the exception of only 5 who were good like Peter. The one most like Peter was.. Ben Reilly the Scarlet Spider.

The five were:
Kaine
Ben Reilly
Jack
?
?

With Alan.. I'm attempting to fill a blank slot.

IIRC:
35 of the clones were mutants
5 to 10 were normal humans but evil versions of Peter.. which in honesty, Kaine was borderline evil/good. Come to think about it Jack kinda was too.

Many of the clones had bio-webbing, but Ben Reilly did not.

The evil human Peter's were:
Spidercide Peter
Guardian
?Clone Army? (not 100% on these guys)
?
?

Known Mutants:
Doppelganger

*Conners thought the spider bite had given him cancer. Also I'm not going strictly by the comics for the Saga coz I felt it was done better in the old 80s/90s cartoon.
--------------------------------

Edit (added the full episodes) 09/Dec/2021

Episode 1: Euro-Avengers - Assemble!
Episode 2: Euro-Avengers 'Matter of Opinion'
Episode 3 : Euro-Avengers 'I Reality Love You'
Episode 4: Euro-Avengers 'Another Day in Paradise'
Episode 5: Euro-Avengers 'What a Tangled Web We Weave When First We Practise to Perceive.." + BONUS 'Exposition Theater'
Episode 6 : Euro-Avengers 'BOSS FIGHT!'

Update 23/Nov/2017 :

Euro-Avengers #1 Fanfic
"Assemble!"

Guillotine is in an alleyway in Paris, she is in the shadows watching..
We see a man pressuring a woman for money.

Guillotine steps out of the shadows
The man turns in terror..
at that moment Guillotines sword is snatched from her hand, and thrust through her shoulder and we hear laughing. Guillotine hits the floor and turns to a Doctor Doom standing over her.. he says 
At that moment Ares attacks Doom his chain on fire around Doom's neck
and Ares says: 'Not so fast! That's my friend!'
Ares opens a lava portal that begins to suck Doom in.. but Doom manages to shake free and flees, flying away still holding on to Guillotines sword.

Ares looks down and offers his hand to Guillotine..
Ares: 'Are you okay?'
Guillotine replies 

Back at the mobile base Guillotine with a sad face is being patched up by Excalibur. she is quiet.

Cap is pacing, raging.. 'how could Doom do this, how could we be in this position?!?'..
Peri: 'Cap, If we rush in we will die, if we plan we will overcome, you need to relax.'
Cap: 'I don't *feel* very relaxed.'

Two days later..

Braddock is in London chasing down a lead, he is meeting an Latverian art dealer, they are having coffee and tea in a London bistro.

Dealer: what can I help you with?
Braddock: I believe you handled some rare artifacts in the last 6 months for a Latverian client, I would like that client's name..
Dealer: well I just can't do that.. for one it would destroy my business and secondly I don't know the full details.
Braddock leans in to the dealer and firmly grabs his arm..
Braddock: I need to know the name, address and specific artifact..
Braddock begins to squeeze the dealer's arm..
Dealer: 'aghghh..don't do this..' Braddock squeezes tighter. Dealer: 'aghgh okay okay.. it was a Scottish artifact the Celtic 'Talisman of Ruin'.. I met with the seller just outside of Stirling, he had a old black car and wore all black..'
Braddock: ' and your client?'
Dealer: silence.
Braddock squeezes his arm again.
Dealer: ' My King and great Protector of our People, King Victor Von Doom! he resides at the Royal Palace in my beloved Latveria!'
Braddock: 'I suspected as much.'

Braddock cleans himself up a little as he was disheveled.
Braddock: 'you have a good day.. knowing you are condemning innocent people to death.'

Braddock walks down the street thinking:
{Well.. I know WHERE to locate him. I can't do it alone.. maybe I should go get the team?.. is there anything I should do first?.. maybe I should go to Stirling and see if there any additional clues there.. anything, anyone who can help us?}

Meanwhile back at the mobile base Guillotine is still recovering from her wound:

Guillotine is angry and shouting at Ares..
< I'm FINE.. I can do it myself, you don't need to carry me around like I'm a helpless baby chicken>
Ares:'OKAY'
Guillotine puts her coffee in the microwave..
Excalibur:'You are lucky to still have your arm'
Guillotine:'Can you NOT say that for the 100th time!!'

Back with Braddock we see he is now at a train station in London, wearing an expensive suit..
{better keep this low key.}

three and half hours later

Braddock had fallen asleep and suddenly wakes up on the train.
Glasgow Central. The conductor looks at him and says.. 'we made good time!'
Braddock smiles politely at him and says 'yes.. thank you!'
Conductor..'wasn't me! hehe'

Braddock gets off the train and goes to Glasgow Queen Street Station.. while walking he looks around and the mood is different than he normally feels.

He buys a ticket to Stirling at the kiosk and at that he hears the conductor whistle 'ALL ABOARD FOR STIRLING! LAST CALL'
Braddock *just* catches the train sits down.
{I must be nuts coming all the way up here.. but that's why this happened, no preparation, gungho style, like always, like amateurs}

Meanwhile Ares is doing some recon of his own on a rooftop in Latveria, over his shoulder we see the Castle Von Doom upon a hillface.

{hey *they* maybe nervous of Doom.. but I kicked his ass.. I'll just walk in there and show him what's what and whos boss!}

Braddock is alighting at Stirling Station.. it's around 5pm.
{now.. he said just outside Stirling..}
After walking around the outskirts of Stirling for 30 minutes Braddock see's the tracks left by the old black car {looks 1940s.. very strange.} He looks up and see's a croft with a smoking chimney nearby {perhaps that person knows something.. perhaps they can help?}

A man is outside chopping wood as Braddock approaches..
Braddock:' Hello there..I was wondering if you could help me.. it's a matter of great importance involving one of my friends.'
Man: 'naw. go awæy.'
Braddock: 'come on.. you can't be *this* unfriendly surely?'
Man: 'excuse me? Ah telt ye go. noo go!'
Braddock: 'Hi I'm Brian Braddock.. I am awfully sorry to interrupt but I *must* find out everything I can to help my friend.'
Man: '*Hullo Ma Name's Alan.* Ah said go, n' ye didnæ listen. noo Ah'm goiny knock ye oan yur ass.'
Braddock: ' I REALLY DON'T think you will knock me on my ass. I can fight.. you have been warned.'
Alan walks up to Braddock and punches him into the air in an arc that lands Braddock two fields away. Then Alan says:
Alan: 'shut iyt! ..done.'

Meanwhile back in Latveria..
Doctor Doom has Ares tied to a large mystical looking statue of Surtur and the Talisman of Ruin around Ares neck while Ares screams in agony..

Doom: 'you think you could walk in my house.. MY HOUSE and teach me a lesson in pain? I invent new pains everyday!'
Ares: 'AAHGHGG'
Doom: '.. you're Ares.. I have heard about you, you can make weapons of great power.'
Ares: 'I won't do it!'
Doom: '.. hmmm.'
Doom intensifies the pain.
Ares: 'AAGHAGH!'

Back at the mobile base Excalibur is trying to heal Guillotine.
Excalibur: 'I can't heal it any further, it must be because it was caused by your sword'
Guillotine: ' where is everyone? I just noticed.. Braddock is gone and so is Ares.'
Excalibur: ' Braddock said he had a meeting in London to get information on Dooms artifacts..but I don't know where Ares is.'
Guillotine: 'I am pretty unwell..but you could ask Peri to try to track Ares down.. we may need him, if Braddock comes back with good intel.'

Back in Stirlingshire Alan sits by his door waiting for 'that English guy' to come back..
Alan: {if he can still walk.. he seemed determined..}
Braddock comes round 20 mins after Alan knocking him out, gets up and proceeds to go back..

Braddock: 'WAIT WAIT WAIT.. don't hit me! you're obviously a powerful guy,
/Alan under breath: ye huv næ idea!'/
But I haven't shared something with you.. I'm Captain Britain.'
Alan: 'oh thyt hInglish guy.. fighting yon Nazi lookin guys.. aye Ah saw thyt oan the news.. '
Braddock: '..well British.'
Alan: 'If yur including mæ, thyt is a matter o' opinion.'
Braddock: 'Right. .. .. have I gained enough respect from you, for ONE answer to ONE question.'
Alan: 'naw.. bit go oan amuse mæ!'
Braddock: 'did you see a man dressed all in black with an old black 1940s car driving near here?'
Alan: 'The weirdo?'
Braddock: 'Weirdo?'
Alan: ' Aye there wis this guy awe in black, lang black o'wercoat wæ a black bowler hat.. Ah looked ayt him n' he gee mæ a bit o' a heidache.. didnæ like him, that's how come Ah remember yon.'
Braddock: looks in silence at Alan.
Alan: 'SO?.. Ah dinnæ ken anyhin' mær aboot him. looked hInglish, no Scottish. he hud black eyes a'naw.. ah dunno if thats o' any importance.'
Braddock: looks in silence at Alan.
Alan: ' hmph..riȝht Ah'll git ye a towel.'

Back at the mobile base..
Peri: I'm tracking his last location via satellite.. he was last seen.. in Latveria
Guillotine: < we MUST GO.. he has no idea how powerful Doom is!!>
Excalibur: < you can't go!! you are too injured!>
Guillotine is humiliated
Guillotine: 'bien.' (okay)
Peri: < We will go and try our best to retrieve him, if we cannot, we will return and wait for Cap, then all three of us will attempt a rescue.>
Guillotine: < WHERE IS BRADDOCK?>

Stirlingshire at Alan's door on a bench and chair..
Braddock wrapped in a large towel..{I wanna recruit this guy!.. also he seems vaguely familiar.. where do I know him from?}
Braddock: 'I'm kinda cold.. can we go inside?'
Alan: 'Ah'm fine.'
silence.

20 mins later and Alan has dozed off
Braddock needs the toilet and goes inside.
He is shocked to see the blue spiderman costume drying next to the open fire.
Alan walks in behind him 'nosey git!!'

Braddock: 'That answers a LOT of questions!'

Meanwhile Peri and Excalibur are in Latveria..
They are assessing the Castle..
Peri: on comms 'We need access to the Castle, perhaps there is a sewer on the blueprint that you can guide us?'
Guillotine: silence.
Peri: 'Guillotine please respond! please respond Guillotine.'
Excalibur : 'Guillotine come in!'

Guillotine: 'I'm here..but I can't.'
Peri: 'The blueprints should be on your monitor, if you have closed them by accident, click on the folder on the desktop it should have all the files we need in there.'
Guillotine: < it's not that.. I was making myself a coffee and.. I fell over, then I accidentally trapped my arm in this metal support for the bunk reaching for my coffee mug.. I can't stand up. everytime I try to move, my shoulder is an agony.. this happened 30 mins ago, but I was too embarrassed to say.>
Peri: 'wow..I could come back.'
Guillotine: < NO! I'm fine for now>
Peri: 
Guillotine 'NO!'
Peri leaves Excalibur on a rooftop.

Soon after Excalibur climbs one of the castle towers and through a window she sees Doom in a castle studyroom.. he seems sad, and removes his mask..
Excalibur: {I can help heal him and return him to truth.}

Stirlingshire..

Braddock: 'YOU HAVE TO JOIN US! I'm not saying that like a demand or anything just.. we need you!'
Alan : 'Ye jist met mæ. Ye huv næ idea wit Ah'm lit.'
Braddock: ' You're a Scottish romantic right??.. my friend that I was helping is.. French!'
Alan: ' ohw!.. look Ah'm no wa'nt tæ help anywan. jist wa'nt lee in peace.'
Braddock: ' I know Peter Parker! He is one of the most noble and inspiring people I ever met..IF you want the world to know that 'Scotland' is good.. you have to get out there and show people!'
Alan: 'Ah think they ken fine.. naw wit you wa'nt is a wee dancin puppet wæ muscles ye kin point at folk ye dinnæ like and sæy 'sick 'em!' Braddock.. that's no me bi ony measure oar long shot!'
Braddock: 'You seem angry..how would you like endless 'bad guys' to beat up?'
Alan: 'Iyt's no the beatin up that piques ma interest!
Alan grabs Braddock and stares him straight in the eyes
Iyt's thit AH WA'NT TÆ KILL THUM!"
Braddock: Y'know.. we aren't squeaky clean either, we've been through some messed up stuff..'
Alan interrupts
Alan: 'BIT AH LIKE IT! makes mæ feel.. somhin! it's lit 90% o' ma emotions ur rage.. rest ur vagrants hinging aboot efter clæsin time!'
Braddock: 'ONE job. I'll pay you. At least meet the team.. two of them are French.'
Alan: 'Ah'm no needin' ony hInglish money.'
Braddock looks around at the old stone house from 200 years ago and sees the moldy bread on the sideboard..
Braddock: 'yes. yes you do.'
Alan: silence.

Peri is back at the mobile base helping Guillotine..
Guillotine: < AAGH! if I wanted to pull my arm off I would have done it already!>
Peri: < just relax.>
Guillotine: Do you think I am TRYING to be tense?

Excalibur over comms: 

Guillotine:NO!
Peri:NO!

Excalibur goes along the castle walls and enters a side door, she is two rooms away from the studyroom we saw Doom in earlier.

She quietly walks along the adjoining hallway.
Excalibur: {odd. there are no guards..}
She hears groaning from one of the other rooms and peaks inside,
there she sees Ares tied, exhausted.
Excalibur : 'be quiet and I will untie you.'
Ares: 'noo he's here'
Excalibur looks around and Doom is standing there, he had been out of her line of sight when she came in.

Doom lifts his hand.. and Excalibur the sword comes to him.. for a moment he experiences great pain, but taking a druid artifact from his pocket he wraps it around Excalibur the sword and the pain stops.

Doom: 'Well this IS a fine weapon! I am fast beginning to have a great armory!'
Doom pulls out an Ares chain and whips it around Excalibur's throat.. he then plunges the sword into her cutting her in two, as she is in two the chain begins to burn hotter until she is turned to ash.
Ares: 'NOOOOOOOOooo!'

Doom: 'I like it.. it has 'style'.. I think you will be my weapons making factory for some years to come!'

Braddock and Alan are at Pancras International Train Station in London..
Braddock: 'did you bring it?'
Alan: 'shut it.'
Braddock stares at Alan in silence.
Alan: 'aye. bæth the suit an' the passport.'

Braddock: 'it'll be quick then we can group with the others and get centered.'
Alan: 'Ah hear France iys a bit o' a nazi clown circus riȝht noo..'
Braddock: 'We'll just keep our heads down and we should be fine.'

Braddock: 'it'll be quick then we can group with the others and get centered.'
Alan: 'Ah hear france iys a bit o' a nazi clown circus riȝht noo..'
Braddock: 'We'll just keep our heads down and we should be fine.'

Back at the mobile base.

Guillotine over comms: Excalibur come in. come in Excalibur.
Peri:Excalibur respond please... perhaps she is out of range?
Guillotine: < We both know these are satellite comms.. they don't go 'out of range'.>
both look at each other worried.
Guillotine says sadly and slowly: where is Braddock?

Braddock and Alan are close by.. walking up to a checkpoint.
Hydra Guard: < identification papers please!>
Braddock hands him some papers.
He hands them back.
Hydra Guard: Identification papers please!
Alan hands him some papers.
Hydra Guard: < some of these papers have expired.>
Alan speaking French 
Hydra Guard: It's okay for now.. just make sure you update those papers as soon as possible.
Alan: I will.

They walk away and Braddock says:
'You speak French??.. that'll be handy here.'
Alan: 'Romantic remember?'

We see from inside the mobile base.. and hear a 'thunk' of the door being opened..
Braddock closes the door behind them.
Guillotine: < WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?>
Peri:'Good to see you Cap.'
Guillotine looking at Alan:< who is this?>
Alan:< Hullo, I am Alan Mackay, Braddock says I can help you with a.. job?>
Guillotine: This isn't a workplacement for normal people.. you will get yourself killed..
As Guillotine is saying this Alan begins to walk around the mobile base until he is standing on the ceiling..
Alan: 'please continue..'
Guillotine: '.. this will be handy! good find Braddock.'

20 mins later and everyone is up to speed on the current situation.
Alan and Braddock are suited and booted.
Guillotine:< What should we called you in the field?>
Alan:'The Widow Spider'
Guillotine: 'It's a bit long, but you have to earn your nickname.'
Alan:< normal for everywhere.>
Alan smiles.

Alan: 'Let's hit the town!'

Two hours later and Cap, Peri,Widow Spider are at Castle Von Doom sneaking in the same door Excalibur did.. and down the same hallway.
Widow Spider hits the floor in agony..
Alan: 'Ma spider sense iys goin aff the chart!..
Oh Ah'm so goiny kill who did this tæ mæ!!'

The doors fly off the room Ares is being held..
Doom floats out..
Doom: 'There's more of you? well isn't this just my day for benchmarking on target practice dummies!HAHA'

Doom makes both sword fly out and they hit Captain Britain pinning him to the wall, but The Widow Spider doesn't miss a beat..

His acrobatics give Doom a hard target to hit..
Doom: 'so it's more than just a costume.. your 'like' him.'
Widow Spider : Ye huv NÆ idea pal!'

Alan grabs Doom and knocks him to the floor, webs him and grabs the web, then leaps on top of him repeatedly smashes his face, then Alan *snaps* and starts shouting

YOU STOLE MA LIFE, YOU STOLE MA LIFE

Doom's mask begins to break. the whole time this has been happening he has been channeling pain toward and using mystical weapons against Widow Spider..but no reaction.

YOU STOLE MA LIFE, YOU STOLE MA LIFE

Dooms mask is almost shattered.. he begins to worry.
Peri releases Ares..
Ares: 'NOW WE GOT A FIGHT!'
whipping his hand out a chain appears from it.
Doom struggles to get free and manages to as Ares begins to make a lavaportal below him

Alan sitting in a daze on the floor whispers: 'doc connors you stole ma life..'

As Doom escapes by ramming and flying out the studyroom window.

Guillotine on comms: Sounds like we got Ares back.. don't wait! Doom won't be afraid for long..
Alan whispers now standing, stunned.. : 'doc connors.... doc connors..'

Peri free's Cap of the swords.
Peri: < Well at least these can be returned> he says smiling at Cap.
Cap smiles back. just then.. a sharp whistling sound they grab their ears and the swords are gone.
Alan: why did ye'z let the swords go? Ah saw thum fly oot the windæ.. man this hus been a weird but also therapeutic day fur me.. Ah'm knackered. Wer's the pizza at?'

END
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NOTE: flippin blogger wiped half the dialogue coz I must have been using an html operator with < > and : if they are French they are speaking French nothing I can do.
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Euro-Avengers #2 Fanfic
"Matter of Opinion"

The team sit round a campfire in the woods of a German forest, this is to be a 'little healing time' as Guillotine put it. They sit silently staring into the fire.. when Alan breaks the silence..

Alan: 'yknow.. Ah didnæ ken that lassie.. næ bad tæ her but if this iys yon memorial tæ her fæ her friend's iyt no riȝht mæ bein here.'

Braddock somberly & authoritatively:
'you're fine. stay.'

Alan: 'musical chairs this isnæ, your no ma bandleader.. besides ye promised mæ yon cash fur the job.. no riȝht tæ talk money ayt a wake..but see'n hows Ah wa'nt oot and yu'v no seen fit tæ gee mæ the cash.. well sadly Ah huv næ choice but tæ bring iyt up.'

Braddock: 'don't fear.. the arrangement is on going.. '

Alan shocked : 'on going???..' .. 'listen.. Ah know yur grievin' so Ah'll let that go fur noo. But it's hame Ah wa'nt tæ go.. tæ Scotland.'

Guillotine: ' I am sure you need not worry about any money from now on..'

Ares: 'SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! just some peace and quiet while we say goodbye to a dear friend.. is that too much to ask??'

Guillotine: 'I feel this too, but remember it is not the same for everyone who grieves. When my uncle died.. my aunt acted normally for months, except she bought endless flowers. It wasn't until months later she realized she was buying the same one he had bought her went they were courting that she broke into tears.'.. 'let us tell stories.. it is a campfire after all.. and Alan is new to us.' .. 'I did not know you could made weapons from yourself Ares.. how did you keep this secret? how did it come about?'

Ares: silence.

The team stare at him until he finally speaks.

Ares: ' I have lived for thousands of years.. a long time ago I was chief of Surtur's Armies in Muspelheim, I am actually of a forgotten tribe from Niflheim who escaped the cold to place we called 'Olympus'.. a pocket dimension.'

Guillotine: ' so you're Asgardian?'

Ares: ' No.. but we come from the same forebearer race, simply called 'The Ancient Ones.' My people were abandoned by those who would go on to be Asgardians.. stuck in horrid ice shelf of a land, deemed unworthy for our refusal to accept the Ragnarok and end of all things.'

Ares: 'At first Olympus was dark.. we took a mountain from Aesheim in Midgard.. we considered it a 'Limbo' this is where Olympus got its name..but after we lit a small star as a sun & we made it a great heaven for our people and a place to shelter from Ragnarok.'

Guillotine: 'Why then did you leave?'

Ares: 'I was just a boy.. I was a young, skilled, I thought I knew it all.. I had risen to Captain of the Guard of Olympus quickly. I decided that Olympus was 'too peaceful'.. that the people had become fat lazy and weak.. I summoned Surtur.'

Guillotine Braddock & Peri; gasp!

Ares with sadness in his voice: 'back at that time Olympus was twice the size it is now.. the battle was both quick and long drawn out, what I mean by that is, each action shifted weight of victory to one side or the other and it did not end quickly..I now reflect this was because the area was so small.

When the fires calmed.. Olympus was victorious, and I was branded a traitor, exiled to stay with Surtur.' .. 'Now you understand why I do not tell this story to humans.'

Guillotine: 'And the weapons?'

Ares: 'There is a forge in the depths of Muspelheim.. something like Nidavellir, but it does not forge weapons, it forges pain.' .. 'I entered in thinking it would be as any other forge. it is not. it is a torture chamber of the purest and simplest pain.. by the end of the process those who have fully underwent and understood what was taught can manipulate their lifeforce to create weapons... I hear Hela underwent the process also.'

Ares: 'I have shared much with you mortals, my friends, fitting we share in her death that we are still alive to share. next person.'

Guillotine: Merci beaucoup Ares. Alan would you like to share?

Alan: næ offense tæ the big guy there.. coz *that* wis a rockin' story! but naw.. yuz were awe shocked bi wit he said, think Ah'll keep the David Cronenberg nightmares Ah've hud tæ mæsel.

Guillotine: PLEASE Alan..

20 minutes later the team are sitting with their eyes bulging trying to process what Alan has just told them.

Ares: wow.. that's pretty messed up.

Alan: 'Peter hus næ idea hawf the hings that went doon ahun his back.. endless abominations, Ah wis lucky Doc Conner's gee up, If that Jackal guy wisnæ aweready deed Ah wud rip his heed aff a'naw withoot a thought.. but nah. Sheer dumbness in the beginin' .. Doc Conner's hus high grade security weh fingerprint scanners etc.. then lee's the sky light open incase Peter wa'nts in ayt night. ye couldnæ make this stuff up!'

Alan : and the best wan yit.. thinkin Peter's spider bite gee him cancer! That Doc Connors wa'nts smashed in the face.. arrogant wee gnaff.'

Guillotine: 'I feel.. like, I just lived a horror movie.'

Alan: 'Tell mæ aboot iyt!.. Ah telt Peter tæ coz Ah wis the voice in the back o' his heed.. 'naw dinné dæ iyt, this guy is a chancer'.. but in American and no Scots. Needless tæ say; he didnæ listen.'

Braddock: 'That sounds crazy!'

Alan: 'Aye iyt wis!'

Braddock: 'No, I mean.. you were the voice in the back of Peter Parker's head??.. how does that work?'

Alan: 'Oh.. well Ah hudnæ e'er said that oot lood afore.. erm, but thyt's were Ah kinda come fæ, the mæst o' mæ iys Peter's suspicion an' anger.. iyt's awe linked tæ why ma spider sense goes nuts, gee's mæ yon migraines, ken?'

Braddock: 'no.'

Alan: 'well.. yur a auld enough lad tæ live weh no known'! ya cheeky dan!'

Braddock faux fawnishly : 'I am *just* trying to understand your thought processes here.'

Alan grabs Braddock :' Ah'm no feirt tæ clock you wan.. wake oar no!'

A wash of terror goes over Braddocks eyes.. internally he remembers that same vibe Alan had when he smashed Doom to near pieces.

Guillotine : 'GUYS.. be cool.. stop! I think a squirrel stole the pringles!'

:PAUSE:

The Team erupts in laughter at the absurdity of the comment.. with even Alan backing off and giving a smile.

Alan smiling: 'Aye.. we'll huv tæ get yon squirrel banged tæ rights.. where'd'æ go?'

Guillotine: 'Weird thing.. must be a mutant or something.. looked ..green.'

The team split into groups.. Guillotine and Peri, Braddock and Alan, Ares volunteers to stay and 'watch the ale'.

The two groups separately search through the bushes and woods for the strange squirrel..

Guillotine whispers : 'you have been very quiet..'

Peri hushed voice : ' I will tell my story in time.. until then I think I have not much to say.. I think I am the cause, if I had not left her she would not have wandered, so then what is left to say?'

Guillotine: 'Such talk is foolish.. it was Doom who killed her. not you!'

Peri: 'This is true.. but will killing him bring her back, non, can I erase a mistake from the past, non, what left is there?'

Guillotine:' To learn from our mistakes and get better.. no one ever said this job was easy, we only have ways of learning to be less and less vulnerable.'

In a clearing we see a girl in green sitting half way up a tree, with two green squirrels bringing her food.. she is opening the pringles.. the green squirrels seems to be as ghosts and vanish.

Braddock comes through the clearing..

Braddock: hey young girl!.. those are our snacks!

Alan comes though also..

Alan: 'Braddock.. ye might wa'nt tæ clock the gear she's go'at oan!'

Girl: 'OH.. AH SHUDA KNOWN YEZ WIDA BE TI'GITHER!'

Braddock: 'She Irish..'

Alan palms flat arms outstretched: ' IYT'S NO WIT IYT LOOKS LIT!'

Girl: 'HMMMP!'

And she vanishes in a puff of green smoke.

Braddock turns to Alan and says : So.. 'it's not what it looks like' ..huh. what does that mean?'

Alan sheepishly: 'Well.. yknow..'

Braddock: ' Enlighten my ignorance.'

Alan: 'Well.. jist Ah'm no British.'

Braddock: 'Yes you are.. it is a matter of fact. Scotland is part of the British Isles and so you can never escape being British.'

Alan: 'says you. Naw I'm Scottish then a Gael.. næ British in mæ try the next shop o'er if yur lookin' fur that. næne here.'

Braddock: ' I am not arguing this. it's a fact.'

Alan: 'aye well.. tell *her* that if she comes back eh? Ah wa'nt tæ see her turn ye intæ a wee union jack squirrel.. that wid be funny, Ah wid jist aboot cry! haha'

Guillotine and Peri come through the bushes..

Guillotine: 'we heard a noise..'

Alan: 'Man.. twinty years in Stirling.. barely a hing.. few leather couches launched oot windæ's durin fires.. an' noo this!'

Guillotine:' What happened?'

Braddock: 'A green girl was controlling the squirrels, she teleported away in a puff of green smoke.'

Guillotine looks blankly at Braddock: 'Is that a joke?.. I don't get it.'

Alan : 'HAHAHA!.. ohw stop! yuz ur hurtin' ma sides'

The team return to the campfire.. Guillotine suspects Braddock was making fun of her.

Guillotine: 'Peri would you like to tell a story?'

Peri: ' bien.. When I was in my very early teens we would go to the beach at San Malo, the castle there in the evening dusk glows as if like made of gold, there was an old man who would sell ice cream and we would go to him every year we returned, one year he was not there.. it made me very sad. we did not return the next year and that summer, I remembered him, even though we were not there.'

At that moment the green girl appears in a puff of green smoke sitting next to the team around the campfire.

Girl: 'now d'ats a sad story! Ah love mæ ice cream! poor auld fella a'nawal!

the group get a slight start.

Ares: ' .. excuse me madam.. but are you some sort of green witch or a fairy?'

Girl: 'Begorrah! Don't ye know a Leprechaun when ye see wun?? read a book!'

Team: 'What??'

Girl: ' *fine* how-do-you-do! what'll ye be doin fur yur next trick.. thrown' paint ayt mæ??'
Alan: 'How do you do? nice to meet you, my name is Alan.. what is your name?

Girl:' Are ye takin the mick??.. ye kin talk fine well a'nawal Ah herd ye!.. fur now yuz kin jist call me Lep.'

Alan: ' Ah it's good to put a name to the pretty face :)'

Lep: ' Why'tcha bein' all weird?'

Alan: ' I am hoping if I talk like this enough when Braddock finally tells you off for something, you turn him into a green squirrel.'

Lep: ' HAHAHAH...ohw dat's a good wun! heheh!'

Braddock: ' hey! this is no laughing matter!'

Lep squints her eye at Braddock: ' Did ye jist tell mæ aff??'

Braddock: ' .. .. I hope not. Let sanity prevail.'

Guillotine: ' Welcome new friend.. but I comment that I prefer Braddock as he is. Where did you come from?'

Lep: ' From da woods jist now.. ye seen mæ surely!'

Guillotine : ' I mean *WHERE* do you come from?'

Lep: ' Ireland o' course! But ah wis in Bavaria.. lookin' fur those Bavarian Creams Ah herd so much o' on the telly!' .. 'As ye kin see Ah did *not* have much success!' .. 'Thats when Ah made those squirrels and told them tæ find mæ food.. pure starvin' so Ah am!'

Alan: ' Seems legit.'

Braddock: ' Oh! Come on!.. I have done some pretty mystical things in my time.. but this chick shows up like a mini Jim Jaspers..
Guillotine interrupts: We do not say that name.. it only empowers him.'

Lep:' Who's dat?'

Alan:' Och.. Ah don't believe in awe that.. Ah believe in a personal relationship weh God.. The Abrahamic wan.. the rest.. iys science gun wrang.'

Lep:' I believe in God.'

Alan to Braddock:' see?'

Braddock:' She *just* said she was a Leprechaun.. or did you miss that part of the conversation because you were too busy planning my squirrel-hood?'

Alan:' Ah'm fine.'

Ares drinks another ale.. then slowly and somberly says

Ares: 'I watched her die'
Ares: 'I watched her die.. by the weapon my own hand had forged.'
Ares: 'I watched her die.. by the weapon my own hand had forged.. and I was powerless.'

Alan: 'Sooo.. ur we sayin' iyts OK tæ kill Doom next time we see him.. because Ah'm totally doon fur thyt.'

Guillotine: 'non..'

Braddock: 'Doom is NOT easy to kill.'

Guillotine: 'this is true..'

Alan: 'But if he wis deed.. '
Guillotine interrupts: 'We also want him to pay for his crimes.. but we attempt to bring those whom have done wrong to justice.'

Alan: 'Man .. Ah knew this wis the wrang team! He does wit he does.. an' yus wid let him walk?'

Ares: 'I'll kill him next time I see him.. Widow if you want in, you're in. try to keep up.'

Alan: 'Will do.'

Braddock somberly: 'With the exception of Guillotine; Does no-one listen?.. Doom is.. he is easily on a par with Merlin.'

Alan: 'Wait.. what? Merlin the Wizard??'

Braddock somberly: 'Yes.'

Alan: 'Do you have a stash of crack you have been smoking on the sly?'

Braddock: ' I'm not sure.. let's ask the Leprechaun.'

Alan: ' Man! ye huv fantasized yur life away!.. Ah huv næ doubt that theres a guy who dresses up fur ye.. but Merlin he's no. He's probably an alien or science experiment gun wrang. Tellin' you nonsense fur years.'

Braddock: 'I am seriously not in the mood Alan.'

Lep: 'So yuz awl have code names aye?.. so ur yez awl a super team..o' superheros an' thyt? Ah like those Avenger's.. pretty cool oan the telly!'

Guillotine: 'Oui.. The Champions of Europe.'

Lep: ' Never herd o' yez. .. an' how dæ yez know yez ur the 'champions'?.. bit presumptuous if ye ask me..'

The team hear a loud car in the distance..

Guillotine: 'That is odd.. there are no roads close to here.'
Braddock: ' I'll suit up and check it out.. need a break anyway.'

Lep to Ares: 'Fine fella you are.. Ah've bin sitting here 10 minutes an' ye huvnæ even offered a girl a drink!.. what is dat stout, beer.. ale?

Ares passing Lep a can:' Yes it's ale.. it's very strong.. so watch out.'

Alan: 'Special Brew strong?'

Ares: 'I do not know that drink.'

Lep: 'OHW.. dat's a drop an'a half!.. an' aye Alan.. like Special Brew but weh a bit mare.. kick!'

Alan: ' OK we gettin' smashed?.. hopefully chat up Lep here-you're gorgeous by the way.'

Lep giggling: ' heheh .. now you remember Alan what-ever-yur-name-iys.. it'll be you who will be da squirrel, if I wake up unhappy in da mornin'.. ye big charmer ye!'

Meanwhile at the edge of the woods..

Braddock is flying above the tree edge, he can see an old black car driving over a dirt road, he can just-about make out the face of the driver.. as his sight locks on.. the drivers head slowly spins on its axis to face Captain Britain asif, detached from the body.. the driver mouths the words 'I know you.'

Cap: 'wow.. that was creepy.'

Back at the campfire Ares, Alan and Lep are pretty drunk..

Lep: 'how can ye be a hero if there' næ buildings tæ swing oan'
Alan: 'aye coz huvin super strength super agility.. iys a bit o' a disadvantage aye?'
Lep: 'oh aye didnt t'ink o' dat'

Ares: 'I seen a guy on fire once.. and for decades it never went out, we would use him for a location marker in Muspelheim.. because the place is pretty featureless.. so it was easy to know where you were.. coz you would hear the guy screaming, it was like sat-nav just keep walking until you heard him. did I say decades?.. I have no idea how long it was.'

Alan: 'YOU ur a rockin' fighter bud!.. awe these o'er guys ur woosies.. but YOU rock it!'
Ares:' I thank you for your honesty and clear insight! .. today we mark our friendship! YAMAS!'
Alan: 'slàinte!'
Lep: 'slàinte!.. YAMAS!'

The whole time since Captain has been away Guillotine and Peri have been talking to each other directly in french somewhat separately from the group. We pick up with them at this point in the conversation..

...
Peri: But how then can you continue to fight the 'good fight'?? it's absurd!'
Guillotine:' it seems that way on the surface..'
Peri:' NON.. it seems that way because it IS that way!.. your injury seems like it will never heal, I do NOT want another dead friend!'
Guillotine: 'I can have a prosthetic enhancement to my arm.. I still have my suit of armor..'
Peri:' idiotic!'
Guillotine becomes very angry but also quite. Their sudden silence draws Alans attention..

Alan: 'Wit ur youz gibbering aboot?'

Peri: 'Guillotine will die if she remains part of this team.. she is not getting better and she has stupid ideas about a prosthetic enhancement while using armor..'
Alan: 'Wit lit Iron-Man?.. Aye Ah kin dæ thyt! watched a film oan the internet aboot Stark Industries an' some stuff .. aye Ah think Ah cud make her wan.. no cheap mind!'
Peri:' What??.. no offence but I thought you were living in a run down shed in Stirling..??'
Alan:' Och Ah've no go'at the internet iyn the hoose.. Ah use the library.. any tellys Ah huv ay end up smashed tæ bits ..'
Peri: ' No I meant..'
Guillotine interrupts: 'Wait! .. So you are saying you can build me a suit like Iron-Man? I can provide such resources.. in fact I own half of Hallerom Industries bequeathed by late Uncle; the other half is owned by Stark Industries!'

Alan: 'Cool!.. so kin ye get the parts?'
Guillotine: 'Yes.. Hallerom Industries is a engineering company for tech.. but only storage based tech. My uncle would be sad to see what has become of his company.. we are basically a huge warehouse for storing Stark Technologies.. for you Alan.. it will be like going shopping!'
Alan: 'groovy!'

Lep shouts over to Alan: 'yur not ignoring' mæ now are ye??'
Alan:' naawww ma darlin'!..noo where's ma hug fur returnin'?'
Lep hugs Alan with a huge smile:'oohw yur a right wun so ye are!'

The next morning we see Lep stand up to face the sun, from her back we see her bare bum as she stretches out her arms with the sunlight crowning her side, Alan is lying in a heap of clothes used for blankets..

Alan smiles: ' Thyt wis aweright!.. but next time.. please ditch the green squirrels.. they wer puttin' mæ aff.'
Lep:' ohw!.. next time? OHW!.. aye lover next time næ squirrels Ah promise.'
Lep then beams with happiness.. and thinks: ' AH GO'T a BOYFRIEND! woohoo!'

Lep creates a shower cubicle and begins washing, green steam pouring out the top & fogging the green glass, Alan is getting dressed as Braddock coughs loudly..

Braddock:'sorry about last night..bit on edge.. you know how it is.'
Alan: ' Aye well.. Ah know yur mournin' lit the rest o' thum. say næ mare aboot iyt.'
Braddock: 'Thanks, kindly.'
Lep: 'y'know a girls showerin' here!?'
Braddock:' Good Morning Lep.. We'll be going back to our mobile base, you are welcome to come with us.'
Lep: 'Ah wid hope so seein' Ah'm oan'de team!'

Both :PAUSE:.

Alan shrugs at Braddock..'næ idea.'

Meanwhile as the rest of the team is getting ready to leave, Ares stands over the campfire and pours the last of the ale on the cinders..
Ares: ' goodbye dear friend..'

---
THE END.
----------

Euro-Avengers #3 Fanfic
"I Reality Love You!"

Start.. how JJ returned.

We are in an all black room with only dim reflected light, the walls seem marble in texture, a spider climbs up a wall 2/3rds up it changes to a ball of light.. the now floating ball says : I CAN SEE!

The ball creates a screen on the far wall of the room. it watches all the events that happened since it last existed,

Ball: AH.. NOW I KNOW! I must never die, I must never die again! I existed as an anachronism, fragments left over from a fallen timeline..I will use this method to never die again.. EVER!

The room vanishes by being sucked into itself.

A man with a black coat, black eyes and black bowler hat begins briskly walking down New Bond Street, doffing his hat to people in a cheery manor. JJ is just happy to have 'new clothes' of a new body.

JJ thinks: 'This is a 'new book' for me.. I *may* even turn over a new leaf'

2 years later..

At the mobile base Braddock and Guillotine are *slightly* arguing..

Guillotine: And.. how is that exactly? I provide the financial backing for our.. 'adventuring'!

Braddock: I didn't mean anything by that. Listen, I misspoke.. [reframes his statement] 'heroic endeavours' .. and as Peri said.. you are too unwell to continue..

Guillotine: Alan has proposed a suit of armor.. much like Iron Man's. THIS will mean I *can continue*.

Braddock: We have been friends a long time.. you know I say this out of only care for your safety.

Guillotine: It's not that.. it's that it is patronizing, insulting you have such a lack of faith in my capabilities and resolve.

Peri: No one is calling you a fool. We do not know the capabilities of such a suit until Alan builds it.. is it more fragile than Iron Mans? Harder to control in flight?.. how well *can* Alan build it.. is it safe?

The door bangs twice and Peri hits the button.. the door lowers and Alan and Lep walk in with a paper bag..

Alan: McD's anywan? Bonnie French sunny day oot there. Me n' Lep hud oors. smashin'!.. ... Wits up weh awe *your* faces..??

Guillotine: Alan.. please, can we build my suit of armor quickly. today even?

Alan: Erm.. It doesnæ work lit that Gil.. First Ah need tæ inspect the pærts, then draw a schematic.. then make a prototype.. test efter test efter test.. no wa'nt ye tæ git hurt, testin' works oot the kinks.. then a 'redux' takin wit Ah learnt fæ buildin an testin' tæ make the first proper suit.. which will still need testin'.. should take aboot 3 months, an' Ah'm bein' slim weh that coz Ah kin feel the eagerness fæ ye.. mare lit a year.
Guillotine: you are kidding.. yes? .. [sad face] a joke?

Alan: Oh flip! .. listen Gil.. we're friends an' everythin', meaning Ah'll try an' be ays quick ays Ah kin. .. but y'know Ah've no built a suit lit this before, Tony Stark hus hud.. Ah dunno.. a million goes ayt iyt. Ah'v no. Ah'm just stærtin'.. so iyt'll take time.. yknow?

Guillotine: I understand. Well. Let's go!

Alan: OH!.. okay. Lep dæ ye wa'nt tæ come? Might be a bit bornin'.. might no.
Lep: Oh.. Ah'm fine fur dat. First time iyn France.. think Ah'll soak iyn some atmosphere.. few glasses o' wine an'awl [wink].

After Alan, Guillotine and Lep have left, Cap and Peri, as Ares was off world, they are alone enough to speak frankly..

Cap: Am I *really* the bad guy here?
Peri: I feel the same. I mean her arm is not hanging out the socket, but she can barely lift it without being in great pain. The doctor who came last week said it's all healed except for a little nerve damage, so we can assume it's because of the *other* properties of the sword.

Cap: At least Alan was speaking sensibly.. which to be honest; pleasantly surprised me.
Peri: I have known 'Gil' for the longest time.. she will not listen to Alan. As soon as she can fit inside the suit she will make it her own.. nothing Alan can say to her to make her to do otherwise.
Cap: Let's just *hope* for a miracle..

Meanwhile at Hallerom Industries..

Alan: Sooo.. that crate's go'at some body panels and some auto guidance circuits .. good find! these ur prolly the wans the man uses himsel!

Guillotine: Tre bonn!

Alan: Ah see wits been goin oan..

Guillotine: What do you mean?

Alan: Och Ah jist meant the suit.. how come Tony uses A.I. .. iyt's no an easy thing tæ control this set-up ken?

Guillotine: Ah! I see.. can you get an A.I.?

Alan: That's goiny be the hardest pært.. Ah mean.. so far even iyn these crates we fun aboot 60% o' the original suit..but withoot an A.I. .. there's næ chance o' controllin' awe these gadgets. Flyin' a'naw.. we're missing the stabilizin' servos..
Guillotine: My engineers could probably fabricate them..not their field, but they are *very* smart.

Alan: okay.. okay.
aye..good.
We're missin the feet fur the rockets so far a'naw.. we huv mæst o' the torso, the legs, shoulders, upper ærms.. missin' the heed, hauns an' faceplate.. hmm.. Ah think Ah could make thyt, the faceplate Ah mean.. no sure oan the heed. Ah mean Ah kin see the slot ayt the back o' the torso wer it comes oot.. but in oor torso.. iyt's no there. Ah dunno how Tony does it.. seems a sequential armor plating, but how oan earth he fits iyt awe iyn there.. Ah'm yit tæ discover!

Guillotine: And the hands?

Alan: The power regulator an' source we huv.. blastin' folk, naw.. cannæ be done. Ah could rig iyt weh bullets.. no sure how tæ git a tiny mini-gun iyn there.. but could work somthin' oot Ah suppose.
Oar.. an electric blast.. but we don't huv the isolator circuitry.. Ah could make wan but that just means iyt'll be awe the longer.

Guillotine smiles and says: I understand... and most dearly, thank you for doing this for me! you have already earned your friendship from me.

Alan: Och.. don't talk lit thyt too much oar Ah might forget Lep n' hit oan ye! haha

Guillotine smiles: bien.

Sometime Later back at the Mobile Base, Widow Spider and Guillotine are returning.. Braddock approaches them.

Guillotine: Hey Cap!.. that was a productive day!
Alan: Aye .. Ah fair enjoyed yon challenge a'naw!

Cap: Listen.. Peri and I have been talking, we are unhappy with the current.. 'situation'.. we are discussing teaming up together and going our own way. I just thought yous should know..

Guillotine is stunned.

Alan: IS this aboot me? .. aboot Lep?.. coz if yur dead set oan leavin'.. maibe we could leave insteed?

Cap: This is about Guillotine's injury.

Alan: Well.. Ah dunno wit tæ say aboot thyt.

silence.

Alan: Och.. Ah think she'll be fine wance she's go'at the suit n' thyt.. jist takes time.

Cap: you *really* think Guillotine will listen to you once it's built?? She will not. fact.

Alan: C'mon.. ye huv tæ come n' go weh o'er folks opinions..

Guillotine: Am I so pathetic you will not fight alongside me?

Peri comes out of the mobile base, having overheard the conversation..

Peri: Watching people die is not a sport. Often I have felt you treat our defense of humanity like a sport.. a hobby you participate in.

Alan: OFFT.. don't haud back noo!!.. flip sake! brutal!

Peri: And who ARE you?? I feel Guillotine 'adopted' you so quickly..

Guillotine: ENOUGH! Alan is a new and powerful friend..

Peri: Yes.. it's the 'powerful' part I wonder about.. why do you hold on to him to closely??

Alan: WHOA.. Ah wis jist meant tæ be a part timer.. a temp. Ah don't wa'nt any hassle guys..

Peri: And now we have a reality warper in our midst thanks to him..

Guillotine: THAT'S ENOUGH!

Braddock: No.. he has a point, we saw what madness in reality warping can do.. I like her, but we know reality warping and madness is a baaad cocktail.. I have had thoughts about this before for JJ, and now see it's appropriate for Lep, for her safety and ours.. she should go to Division 3.

Alan: WIT???

Braddock: Don't paint me as the bad guy here.. too many times I let things slide. and people died. She will come to no harm.

Alan stunned: 'Division 3 'iys wer reality warpers go tæ DIE!

Braddock: I'm not saying it to hurt Lep.. in fact I consider her a friend, I only want what's best for her.. including her mental health, c'mon Alan you know how hard she struggles with reality and being a reality warper.. that's not good, for us and for her!.. I have seen what a reality warper can do.. first hand Alan.. Jim Jaspers. I don't take that lightly.

Alan: So YOUR solution iys tæ lock her iyn a mental asylum fur reality warpers iyn a Division who cannæ help the wans they aweready huv??

Alan: She hus problems weh reality.. an' yur sayin' tæ take the wan wee bit o' reality she hus away fæ her?

Alan stares intensely at Braddock

Alan: naw. speak again tæ mæ oan the matter an' ye know wit hæppens. She iys ma problem an' ma lassie tæ help ays Ah see fit, no yurs.

Lep has returned but is hiding behind the mobile base listening in, she thinks about Alan 'oh wow Ah LOVE dat man! 💖.💖'

Peri: c'mon Cap let's go..
Cap nods.

Meanwhile..

JJ stands on a rooftop watching the argument with glee..

Thinking:

JJ: I'll follow Captain Britain and Peregrine.. they seem like they have some sort of plan.

At that moment..

Widow Spider: OHW MA HEED!
Widow Spider hits the floor in agony! grabbing his own head.
Widow Spider: AH UM SO GOINY KILL WHO DID THYS TÆ MÆ!

Widow looks up and can 'sense' JJ..

WS: YUR FUR IYT PAL!

JJ shocked thinks: How can he see me??.. I have made myself invisible!?

WS leaps upon the building with one leap and punches JJ full force in the face.. we hear a loud crack as his jaw breaks.. which JJ then instantly heals, JJ punches WS in the stomach with the same force WS used to punch JJ's jaw.. WS doubles over in pain. JJ starts laughing.

Lep see's this..

Lep: OHW NO YOU DON'T! DATS MY MAN!

Lep creates a pocket universe and sucks JJ into it.. in that universe is a googlplexiant amount of WS's attacking JJ. JJ is slowly deteriorating even as fast as he can heal himself.

Guillotine: STOP.. do you want to prove Cap right? That you shouldn't be around other people?? Is your anger your only justification for murder? How then are you different from him?

Lep stops making near infinite Widow Spiders..

Lep: fair enough..

She leaves JJ floating in the pocket universe and floats up to WS on the rooftop..

Lep says sadly: you okay ma love?

WS coughs out: YE huv tæ bi jokin'.. that's how hard Ah hit?.. wow Ah hud næ idea Ah wis so buff..

Lep: Dats me fella! [wink] tough ays auld boots so ye know ye are!

Guillotine: Can you heal him?

Lep: Ah'm not a doctor dont'cha know? If Ah was.. sure wouldn't Ah be healin' yourself.

Guillotine: ohw.. I didn't know your powers worked like that.

3 hours later and the sun is setting.. the remaining trio are sitting on lawn chairs at the door of the mobile base, drinking tea.. Alan has bandages around his torso.

Alan: So.. somthin' Ah ay wa'nted tæ ask ye..
Lep: Go oan.. better no be cheeky mind!
Alan: If ye make food an' we eat iyt.. iys iyt real?
Lep: Ah hav not the foggiest clue.. but Ah widnæ advise iyt!.. me power isn't seemingly based oan imagination.. but what Ah know works. An' if Ah leave somthin fur a few hours.. it seems tæ vanish.
Like.. when Ah made da shower.. Ah know how a shower works, water comes up da pipe an' out da shower head. Water molecules remove dirt grime.. and *other* tings [winks]
Alan: hehe

Suddenly the sky turns black & street lights turn in to black suited men/women, who stun WS and Guillotine..

Agent: You're coming with us ma'am.
As they slap a collar on Lep.

Widow Spider and Guillotine come round, seems around 30 minutes later... and Lep is.. gone!

WS: You HUV TÆ be jokin' mæ!
Guillotine: ohw no! .. .. .. Listen.. we both need rest, can you wait for 2 hours or more so we can sleep and be fresh to find her?
WS: Ah dunno.. feel kinda dizzy. Iyt's been an exciting ho'ur oar so..

Meanwhile in Sweden Division 3 Facility, Cap and Peri are talking to a guard..

Cap: Thanks again for seeing me on such short notice.. everything was handled swiftly and smoothly. I just want what's best for everyone..

Agent: And so do we.. thank you for the tip!

Peri almost sad: And she will be treated with respect.. oui?

Agent: We have one of the most advanced facilities of this kind right here in Sweden.. she will have nice food, great therapy and most of all learn how to feel safe with her own powers without hurting others.

Lep from behind the door..
Lep: LET MÆ OUT YE #'@##.. AH'LL STRING EVERY LAST ONE O'YEZ! #@=~#!

Lep has a 'Reality Check' Neckbrace. It is a neckbrace that contains a collapsing blackhole, the space inside is folded to contain the blackhole which is vast. 'bigger on the inside' one might say. It emits graviton particles that drain her power.

Back in France, Guillotine and Widow Spider are rested.. they are combing the streets of Paris looking for clues while avoiding Hydra Agents.

WS: Ah dunno..
Guillotine: I know you are pensive..but what can we do? We do not know where they are..
WS: Try Braddock on comms..
Guillotine: I did.. but no reply.
WS: Peri?
Guillotine: Hmmm.. maybe.

The duo stop in a doorway, Alan is on the ceiling of the doorway while Guillotine stands underneath.

Guillotine: Peregrine.. please come in. Peregrine.. please come in.
Peri: What do you want? .. it is late.
Guillotine: Oh good! Lep has been taken hostage..
Peri interrupts:She's not a hostage.. She's with Division 3 in Sweden.
Guillotine: WHAT?
WS: OHW NO WAY!
Peri: While I feel bad for her to be locked away like this.. but it's probably the best thing for her.. besides I have teamed up with Cap now..
Peri: Why do you fight so hard to keep Alan on the team? he is new to us. Cap is a dependable friend. He deserves to be respected, he has earned that from us, Alan has not.

Guillotine looks at up at Widow Spider..

Guillotine: to Sweden!

The duo take the mobile base to Sweden.

Shortly after we see Lep's power has been halted as JJ returns to our universe..

JJ hits the floor panting..

JJ thinks: Crazy B*!! Wow she is powerful! I even made a secondary pocket universe inside hers.. she managed to follow me inside there.. I should probably avoid her in future.

The next morning Alan and a Division 3 Agent are in a Division 3 interrogation room..

Agent: Surprisingly, the lives of reality warpers are usually short ones, due to their continued threat to our existence. We extend their lives here.. they are unable to have 'normal lives' but we see they are comfortable for their remaining time within our society.

Alan: Iyt's the same auld story.. 'crazy iys ays crazy does.' An' weh mæ yu'v no go'at a believer..

Agent: I am not good at understanding Scots.. please can you speak Scottish English? kindly.

Alan: I will try to accommodate you.. I do not believe you and this 'facility' are what's best for Lep..

Agent interrupts: Her name is Siobhán O'Connell..

The agent spins a tablet round to show Siobhan's Facebook and absence of 1 year.

Alan: That *is* good to know.. but it matters not a jot that my girlfriend hasn't posted in a while due to being 'unwell'. I support her regardless.

Agent: You have no idea what she is capable of..

Alan interrupts: NAW YE HUV NÆ IDEA WIT AH'M CAPABLE 'O. I have a genius level intellect weh awe the abilities o' Spiderman..
[Alan stands up and speaks while walking to the door]
so unless ye huv Professor X hiddin' up yur sleave. AH'M GOINY BURN THIS PLACE TÆ THE GROON!.

Alan exits the sliding door.

Later that night Guillotine and Widow Spider are in the mobile base hovering over one corner of the facility..

Widow Spider: Blast iyt!

Guillotine uses small rockets on the hovering mobile base to blast the corner of the facility.. which then heals itself.

Widow Spider: Blast iyt again!
Guillotine: but..
Widow Spider: Jist dæ iyt!

As Guillotine launches another round of small rockets.. Widow Spider climbs along the bottom of the mobile base ..this time Widow Spider jumps through the gap before the building can self heal.

Widow Spider over comms: Ah'm iyn!

The place is on red alert.. the walls are *actually* red and flashing.. like the paint itself is changing colours.. red & white & pink.

Widow Spider: Wit kinda madhoose iys thys??

The corridor begins to twist.. unphased Widow Spider just walks the straightest path as it twists..gravity switches and miscellaneous medical carts and medical insundries drop to the new ground.. Widow Spider again is unphased,.. walking forward he smashes the double doors, only for them to self heal..

Widow Spider: Riȝht!

He approaches the door and gives a gentle push; it moves one inch before returning.

Widow Spider: Ah!

Widow Spider climbs up upon the double doors and starts jumping up and down as gravity switches to remove him he times it.. for the 1 inch per second he saw with the doors before. At the right timing he coincides with gravity to give a huge blow to the door.. and crashes through to the other side.

Guillotine breaking up over comms: You have been an hour at least Widow Spider.. are you okay??

Widow Spider: Wit?? iyt only been 5 minutes!

Guillotine: I can't hear you.. you are breaking up badl..[dead signal]

Widow Spider: Well.. so much fur backup!

Widow Spider looks forward and sees a empty black room and nothingness with a dim light in the distance.. he looks far above to the ceiling and sees a maze.

Widow Spider thinks: wait a minute.. wait a minute did Peter no dæ an essay oan thys?.. iys thys no a famous maze??.. ayyyee.. If Ah jump up there somthin' bad happens.. n' the maze itself is infront o' mæ but awe the wa'z ur paint'it black.. its only the reflection o' the white top o' the wa'z Ah'm see'n in the ceiling ... aye so IF Ah just walk forward..

Widow Spider then bumps into a seemingly invisible wall..

As we pan up we see he was correct.. the walls are painted black and the tops are painted white with only a dim light source, we see the ceiling which is a huge mirror.. with 20ft spikes that were a optical illusion as so to make them not appear to those below..

The Walls are 15 feet high.. but since he is also part Spider.. Widow Spider climbs on top of the walls and moves towards the dim light source.

Once at the dim light source.. Widow Spider sees.. a green garden.. no a an open field full of android children happily playing..

Widow Spider to himself: naw.. no way! second As soon as Ah step in there.. they will awe turn n' rip mæ tæ shreds.. Ah've seen enough movies tæ know thys wan! Ah'm no daft.

Widow Spider webs the entire ball of dim light.. and starts to drag it around. He can hear strange noises coming from the ball.. he rips open his webbing surrounding it.. and the scene has changed.
Now it seems like a cafeteria.. with the same strange flashing red wall paint.

Widow Spider talking to the ball: Call me suspicious.. but Ah'm still no happy aboot thys!.. at NÆ point uh'm Ah goiny go through any portal!

Widow Spider webs the entire ball up again and begins punching it over and over again.. until a 'crack' is heard..

Widow Spider: sounds aboot right!

He peels off the layers of webbing and as he does the room begins to shine brighter and brighter..

in the far corner of the room is a black door, Widow Spider goes over to it and kicks it in with a thud..
On the other side are around twelve Division 3 Agents with firearms..

Widow Spider: Aye thys is mare ma speed!

acrobatically bouncing around he kicks one agent in the face while webbing another.. swinging on the web he just made to come round and with one punch knockout 3 agents.. while carrying a fourth agent between his feet.. throwing him in to 4 agents who have began shooting at Widow Spider.. as he lands

Widow Spider: 1 +3+1+4.. an' the wan Ah webbed lees.. you two!

Widow Spider then webs them both and continues down the hallway.. once through another set of double doors gravity changes and Widow Spider shoots a web to sling round.. as he does a girl standing on the new 'wall' that was the ground slices the web he was swinging on with a katana.. Widow Spider hits the floor with a thud!

Widow Spider: Hau! .. Ah wis usin' thyt!

The two engage in battle.. Widow Spider bouncing around giving her slight jabs in the face as she struggles to strike him..finally Widow Spider bouncing off the double doors gives her a crack! to the back of the head which knocks her out.

Widow Spider exits the hallway to see a elevator..

Widow Spider: No *usually* ma 'mode o' transport'.. but Ah cannæ be bothered weh awe thys faffin' aboot!

Widow Spider hits the button marked B for Basement..The elevator says: Please provide your security ID and password..

Widow Spider: Ohw flip! Voice Recognition technology! no thyt Ah've go'at awe thyt! but still iyt couldnæ un'nerstaun mæ even if Ah hud iyt!

Elevator: Non compliance detected.
And then the elevator closes its doors instantly and releases a gas.

Widow Spider: *cough* flip! *cough*.. NAW! NO WAY MAN!

Widow Spider then webs his own mouth to use as gas mask..

Widow Spider thinking: Ah know!.. Ah know! no healthy!.. but awe ma poison will dæ tæ mæ.. is make mæ slowly angrier.

Widow Spider punches a hole in the floor of the elevator and drops down on a web. Once at the bottom.. which seem FAR deeper than he expected, he opens the elevator doors from inside the lift shaft.. to his surprise, there is Peter Parker.. and Aunt May.. Aunt May speaks to Alan..'Hello Peter.. I have so missed you since you have been away.'

Widow Spider: NÆ DANGER! .. nahh. Ah'm aff iyt! Næ thanks! Awe those feelin's died oot the first night Ah spent iyn the cauld iyn ma hoose.. weh næ food, soakin' wet.

Widow Spider to anonymous telepath:

Widow Spider: Yu'v go'at two choices either git oot ma heed.. OAR Ah find ye an' rip the heed fæ yur shoulders.. your choice!

The images of Peter and Aunt May ghost away..

Widow Spider: smært choice.

Widow Spider can see some laboratories and medical bays.. the area is a circle with hallway encompassing the floor and leading off to each room. The outer rooms have high grade solid steel doors and are numbered..

Widow Spider can slightly sense they are also magnetic..

Widow Spider whispers: .. weird.

Widow Spider: Riȝht.. time tæ rip some doors aff! .. naw wait! they huv wee windæs.. aye check thyt first.. ohw aye take the web mask aff.. forgo'at. poison gettin' mæ a bit hepped up n' thyt. bit confused.

Widow Spider rips off the web mask and takes a deep breath.. then whispers..

Widow Spider: Lep ma love.. didnæ worry yursel ma hen, ma hært.. yur man's a'comin'!

Then suddenly exclaims in realization;

Widow Spider: THYTS WHY THEY'RE MAGNETIC! Soo ye cannæ sense whos behun thum withoot lookin! gotcha! So thyt means some o' thum ur a trap.. erm.. odds oar evens?..odds seems iyn theme weh thys place.

Widow Spider webs the first even door to check if his supposition is correct.. the small window turns into vortex and ingests the webbing..

Widow Spider: aye.. riȝht enough.

Checking the odd doors one by one Widow Spider sees all manner of strange things but says..

Widow Spider: 'Normal folk' aye that wid warp their minds.. but weh me.. ye huv tæ up g'uy early iyn the mornin' tæ dæ thyt tæ me.. Ah seen things thyt wid make yon look lit a wean's picture book.

Finally Widow Spider finds Lep and rips the door off it's hinges..

Widow Spider: ma love!
as they embrace..
Lep almost crying: oh ma darlin'! Ah wis so afraid Ah would'nt see'cha again!
Widow Spider: haud still..

Widow Spider rips the reality check collar off Lep..

Widow Spider: næ worries ma love!

Lifting up his spidey mask .. they kiss.. a kiss that feels like a thousand kisses.

From behind them they hear.. clapping..

Widow Spider: Wit??

'Admiral' David Haller steps out of the shadows.. and says

David speaking to Alan: I am impressed by your skills. ... Can I interest you in a job?

Lep answers in place of Alan sarcastically : Prolly not.. but Ah'm a bit short o' cash.. wit did ye hav in mind?.. eejit!

David: haha.. I like you. you both [smiles]

Lep: An' why exactly ur we trusting yourself??

David: It's simple logic.. trust me and see where it goes.. we already have seen.. *this* young man's abilities and his devotion to you.. OR have us fruitlessly hunt you over and over again.. but often inconvenience you when you least expect it.

David: I'm David Haller.. I hear you know something about my father's connection with Division 3?

David: Please come.. can we talk ..[David seeing their hesitation says]...you will see there is more potential harm to me than you.

David is escorting them to his office in which they get a mini-tour of the facility,

David: Officially we are 'The Division for Extraordinarily OverPowered Humans with Mutant Abilities,' TDEOPHMA.. 'T' Dof'ma'.. or as you so succinctly put it 'The Division'.. They made me head, traditionally known as 'Admiral'..

Alan: hæd o' the madhouse eh?

David: we don't think in those terms here.. and *I have actually been in a madhouse* what we do here is nothing like that. You'll see.

David: I'm head because.. I am powerful enough to stop their reality warping encroaching on any of ours. Lep.. was a challenge, if it wasn't for the neckbrace, I don't know if I could have stopped her.

The group reach Admiral Haller's office.. they take seats..

David almost chuckling: So I hear you were going to 'burn this place to the ground..'

Alan thumps a small bomb with flashing lights on Davids desk..

Alan: aye. ... thyt shoulda done iyt. watch oot.. iyts slightly .. nuclear.

David is stunned.

David: I have never met Peter Parker.. but you are not him.. are you?

Alan: well.. Ah guess ye cud say bæth.. aye AND naw..

David: I see.. my father, Professor Xavier spoke fondly of him often, the *very* few times I spoke to my father, he would mention to me Peter's exploits with a favourable tone.. as if he was proud of Peter Parker, whom he shared no blood with, and disappointed with myself.. While I do not agree with the praise my father heaped on him.. no.. that's too bitter.. the praise my father graciously gave him.. one thing we agree on.. Peter Parker is moral.

Alan: High horse is it?.. then how come you sit there ays king weh awe yur contemporaries locked up lit wee slaves.. ye huv næ idea yursel wits 'real'.. delusional!

David: Monotony is the greatest proof that reality is.. 'real'.

David: My job is slightly boring. That's how I know I am not trapped in another's mind or universe.. it's the only way I can keep track of reality.. and Lep here.. she hasn't had time to learn that yet.

Alan: No yur decision tæ make.. thyts oors.

David to Lep: Siobhán

Lep : Shuv oan what? Ah'm fine weh the clothes Ah huv t'ank ye very much!

Alan: Ohw Ah see wit yur dæn.. okay okay.. Ah like tæ think Ah'm fair minded..

Lep: Are you both takin pants oar what? Did Ah 'blond out' fur a minute?

Alan: Ma darlin' .. ye know how Ah feel aboot ye.. aye?

Lep: Aye.

Alan: A guy came.. an agent o' this place an' showed mæ somthin'.. he showed mæ yur facebook.. an' 'real' name.. Siobhán O'Connell

Lep embaressed: Don't you be playin' wit a girls heart now Alan McKay! If a girl looks lit me an' you hit oan her.. it'll no be 'threesomes' you'll be gettin! It'll be a crack to the jaw an' a 'onesome'!

Alan: obviously.. Lep's no ready.. in anywise o' you stickin' anythin doon her throat.. I'll rip the heed aff ye. Admiral oar no.

David: Okay.. I understand. This facility is here whenever SHE decides to use the beneficial amenities it provides.

Lep: yuz are weird! talkin' weird! iyts upsettin' mæ.

Alan: næ danger ma love.. we'll be oota here in a flash..

David: .. forgive me but.. that's not a threat about the bomb.. because I felt we worked that part out..

Alan: naw. we're fine. lee us alæn.

David: Okay.. Guillotine is waiting for you in the foyer.. she says to tell you she got bored waiting in the cafeteria.. OH.. you've been going non stop for 2 days, we thought you'd tire out before this so that was one of the measures.. to extend time, you barely flinched. wow.

The couple are escorted to the foyer lobby by the Admiral and a few agents.. where they see Guillotine and Peri standing talking.. Alan nods at David as a goodbye, and David nods back respectfully..

We hear mid-part of Guillotine and Peri's conversation..

Peri: I had no idea what he meant when he said this place.. it was too creepy.. a creepy pasta waiting to happen..
Guillotine: Don't worry about it.. just work on making Braddock see.. that we're not all baby chicks for him to play mother hen to!
Guillotine: AH bonne! you return to us.. I had almost asked to rent a room here..
Peri interrupts: I just want to say sorry for any distress I have caused..

Alan and Lep look at each other..

: iyt's fine.

Lep: friends kin be asshats sometimes... as long as iyts only half the time with you bein one da other half.. iyts fyne.

In a dark room Admiral David Haller is talking to a blue wall called 'The Tide' .. The Tide is a supercomputer created by many reality warpers.. in theory it can answer any question put to it..

David: How was Alan McKay/Widow Spider able to break the reality check collar? it's meant to be unbreakable?

The Tide: He would have undoubtedly broke his bones doing so..

David: But.. how??

The Tide: Love.

David is stunned.

--------------
THE END
---------------

Prologue:

Inside the mind of The Tide.. The Tide is asking and answering questions to itself..

The Tide: What is Alan McKay's idea of 'heroism'?

The Tide: All indications point to Alan's 'cloned memory' remembering an alternate SHIELD timeline up until he was created.. then he is part of our HYDRA timeline..

The Tide: but he doesn't seem to know too much about it .. as HYDRA doesn't have much influence in Scotland.

The Tide: In this case his memory is anachronistic. He remembers SHIELD being heroic growing up as Peter Parker.. then being unheroic after that.

The Tide: Investigation commence sequence.

------
FIN
-------

Euro-Avengers #4 Fanfic
"Another Day In Paradise"

Three days After the Division 3 events, Ares is still searching for a way to kill Doom. In Muspelheim Ares is looking up and talking to Surtur..

Ares: I realize you have every reason to hate me.. and I don't blame you, however, 10,000 years of service is nothing to snort at.. by doing this, we can presently leave things.. on a more .. even note.

Surtur: BOY!.. you have not yet imagined what hate is!

Surtur makes a slight swing of his giant sword past Ares to knock him over..

Ares standing back up: SEE! I knew you still cared! .. [mumbles] or you *would* have killed me.

Surtur: What gain is there for me?

Ares: I know this place. I know you. I have told *NO-ONE* in over 10,000 years anything of any way to acost you.. besides I secretly remember this place fondly.. but dare not tell the humans.

Surtur: SO I AM YOUR MENTOR?? AHAHAH *that* pleases me boy haha

Ares: Well.. I suppose..

Surtur: What you seek is not by any way or means easy, but you knew that.. MY APPRENTICE hahah

Ares: Come on.. be nice.. it's embarrassing..

Surtur: HAHAHA

Surtur: My forge does not have the power you seek.. even if used to capacity, even if I sacrificed two of my loyal pets, it is not enough to forge a weapon to kill the 'man of doom'.

Ares: And three?

Surtur: I have but three pets of this kind left!.. no matter, three would break the forge entirely.

Ares: ah!.. do you still have that old map to 'Knowhere'? perhaps the Collector..
Surtur interrupts: he's dead.

Ares: What??

Surtur: DEAD BOY.. NO MORE.. Honestly you have been spending too much time with humans.. now who's embarrassed?

Ares: no.. I was.. just surprised..

Surtur: Have you any other 'bright' ideas?

Ares: I know you.. you hid a clue in there..

Surtur: OF COURSE IT WAS BOY!.. is your time in Midgard making you stupid? [disapproving noises].. humans.. Reality TV..

Ares: what does the clue mean? .. [under breath] and I don't watch *that* much TV, it's just the humans rise at 8am, I get up at sunrise, I need something to do..

Surtur: THE POWER COSMIC! .. I am really starting to think the humans have made you weak minded.. and fat, perhaps my demons would like to feed on you? HAHAH

Ares: Hey! Their ale is fattening! I still do all the exercises you taught me.. every morning!

Surtur: While watching TV. [sarcasm] call me.. impressed.

Ares: The Power Cosmic.. I remember.. didn't an Olympian wield this power?

Surtur: Yes.. but that was a millenia ago ..! Now one who calls themself 'Adam Warlock' wields this power.. they must be killed in order for you to gain it!

Ares: I shall seek him out.. Thank you kindly Surtur, if there is anything I can do in return..

Surtur interrupts: Yes there is..

Ares: What can I do to repay your kindness?

Surtur: Stop being fat!! HAHAH.. I am sure now that you have sought me out for more difficult challenges, once completed that your mind is sharper and powerful body sevelt for combat.. when you return to the humans, drink their diet ale and eat of their unfattened calf. seriously... pick up a book once a century boy!

Ares embarrassed but sensing care, grunts a noise that they both know is agreement.

Meanwhile at Hallerom Industries Alan and Guillotine are continuing their work on the suit for Guillotine..

Alan: How does iyt feel?

Guillotine: A little loose..

Alan: Ah suppose Ah could trim iyt a wee bit.. gee it mare o' a female form

Guillotine: I would like that.

Alan: Yon stabilizing servos fur the knees ur workin' aye?

Guillotine: Oui.. however without the feet.. they are pushing into my calfs.

Tony from the shadows: If you used a extender rod and link it to the rear of the servo.. it'll take the weight off the front..

Alan and Guillotine are alarmed.

Alan: OH.. hey Mr. Stark..

Tony to Guillotine: Soo.. were you just planning to rob me?

Guillotine: Half this is mine.. I own half of Hallerom Industries.. and you use it as your personal storage closet. hmph.

Tony: But still .. that means half of what you are wearing is MY property!.. wait a minute [to Alan].. don't I know you?

Alan: Naaww.. [hides face by looking away and to the ground]

Tony: PETER??

Alan: Erm .. ye huv mæ mixed up wæ somewan else there Mr. Stark

Tony: Call me Tony.. sounds weird YOU calling me 'Mr. Stark'.

Alan: Aye.. Tony.

Tony: So *what* are you doing here.. [gestures to the half built suit Guillotine is wearing]

Guillotine: Doctor Doom injured me in combat.. one that is not healing, the suit will help me continue our heroic endeavours.

Tony: .. .. wow. Y'know Doom is one of the most powerful humans that ever lived.. aside from myself and the rest of the Avengers.. oh yeah we could take him.. but he won't suffer amateurs lightly..

Guillotine: Widow-Spider here has already bested him in combat..

Tony: AH.. you're one of Peter's clones.. wow I thought all of them died except Scarlet Spider.. right.. gotcha!

Tony: So what?.. you're the part of Peter that was a closet Scotsman? That deep down he wanted to be Scots but couldn't bear to *come out* to his folks?.. dressing in kilts and going to ceilidh's..but terrified his parents would find out?

Alan:.. Ah'm Alan MacKay.. An' Ah've been plenty polite tæ yursel. Regard mæ.. oar find oot wits iyts lit no tæ.

Tony: WHOA.. just having a friendly chat here.. no need to be all 'Scottish' about it, hehe.

Tony: I watched the tapes of yous trying to figure out my tech.. one of your staff pm'd a Stark Industries engineer for the servos schematics.. which *obviously* alerted me.

Guillotine: [French swearing]

Tony: Relax.. I *just* wanted to know you weren't using it for 'evil.'

Alan: OK.. HOW ON EARTH dæ ye fit the helmet iyn the back o' yon torso??

Tony: No.. wrong question. If you have already decided to reduce the torso size, you should be designing your own.. 'hood'. OR you are just causing problems up the road for yourselves.

Alan: Soo.. HOW? how do you make that sequential armor?? Nano tech? Space folding?

Tony: well now.. yes.. but these parts are a mix of early Mk II/IV/VII suit parts.. for these, its simple geometry.. physics of a triangle give the most efficient strength for cost ratio, each segment is a tiny triangle that folds out and builds on top of the last..

Alan: Ah thought thyt might be iyt.. but HOW.. thyts were ye go'at mæ stumped

Tony: hehe.. the bottom of each segment has a one way latch and once complete only the final latch has a way to start a chain reaction to unlock all previous latches and so collapse the helmet!!

Alan: AHH!.. so iyt's lit the rod fur the servo.. but iys micro an' hus locks! gotcha!

Tony: Exactly!

Guillotine: I can't confess I know what you are both talking about.. and I have a Masters in engineering.

Alan: Iyt's lit .. an umbrella but hunners o' thum awe oan top o' wan an'oer, each wan iys layered, whyn wan iys opened the next opens efter iyt.. makin' a triangle fur the next wan tæ sit oan.. and only the last wan kin collapse the set!

Tony: see this guy?.. he's getting my gold star of the day award!

Guillotine: AH.. now I get it!

Alan: Soo.. care tæ help us Tony?

Tony: I'm very much a person you have to earn my respect before I 'help'.. but since you earned a little today, I'll help you build the hands and feet.. but YOU both have to make the hood and faceplate yourselves.. show me you were *actually* listening.

Guillotine: Alan said the A.I. would be impossible to attain..

Tony: OKAY.. I'll throw in one of my A.I.'s to the mix.. but that'll be the last thing I will help you's with.

Guillotine with a smile: bien!

We see..

Braddock on the phone talking to a mystics antique dealer.
Lep and Firegirl looking through French clothing in a clothing store.
Peri drinking coffee at his Paris apartment on his veranda.
JJ is in London arguing with a sales assistant about the quality of a suit material.
Doom is in his library, counting strange gold coins.

We return to Hallerom Industries.. to Guillotine shouting at one of her engineers, his 'H-Tag' says 'Hello, I'm Markus'

Guillotine: WHAT PART OF 'DON'T TELL ANYONE' DID YOU FAIL TO UNDERSTAND??
Markus: I am sorry ladybossman.. but you were trying to stir a pot of soup with tyre iron..
Guillotine: Who else have you told??
Markus: erm.. I'd prefer not to say..
Guillotine: Idiot!
Markus : erm.. Reed Richard.. Dave Shaw.. Hank Pym..
Tony: You spoke to Dave Shaw?? personally?
Markus: Yes.. he hung up when I told him Hallerom was half owned by you sir.
Tony to Alan: Dave Shaw.. former intern to Reed Richards.. works for Rand now as CTO, but he's little more than a monkey over there, they throw him peanuts to dance.. Harold Meachum had the amazing fortune to meet him on the day he was getting evicted, offered him 'rent money' to sign a contract.. I have been trying to poach him from Rand for *forever*..

Alan thinks: hey this 'Dave Shaw' guy seems tæ hate Tony.. if we kin git a haud o' him.. he wid probably help us wæ the rest of Gil's suit. Seein' how Tony telt uys tæ dæ iyt oorsels.

Alan thinks: Ah'm mare proficent wæ biology thun engineering.. Ah KIN DÆ iyt..but, wid rather huv an expert oan the team..

Meanwhile.. Ares is standing in a queue to a window, we can see his surroundings, he is in Knowhere..

queue moves one forward..
queue moves one forward then
queue moves one forward then
queue moves one forward then
Ares is at the window talking to the shop assistant..

Ares: Hi! I am looking for a transport ship going to the furthest side of Kree space, I wish to book passage..
Shop Assistant: Ohw.. one just left yesterday and we don't have any others on book for another month.. sorry..
Ares: Anyone going near there or further out..
SA: Yes.. we have 'The Milano' which is set to leave in 4 hours.. ah! but it doesn't have passenger quarters, only crew quarters.. indicating it is 'cargo only'
Ares: I don't mind..
SA: What??.. you realize you might be sleeping on the floor.. for.. perhaps months right??
Ares: How much?
SA: 50,000 credits..
Ares: WHOA.. I fear my total amount is short.. at 20,000 credits, and even at that.. *that* is a premium price to pay for travel!
SA: it says 'includes cheerful music free of charge'.
Ares: bargain then.. I'll be right back

Ares goes over to Houuruphil's FAMOUS COMPORIUM TO ELICIT EXCITEMENT!!
It is a pawn shop..

Ares walks in and a bell tinkles behind him a voice from the back of the messy shop.. 'ooonnee mminute!'

Ares to self: okay.. keep it together.. serious business face on, yes I am interested in making 'money'.. yes.

Shop-Keeper: HIII.. I am Houuruphil.. most people just call me Houuru
Ares: Why not 'Phil'?
Houuruphil: What??
Ares: Phil is easier to say and if you were going to have a nickname..
Houuruphil: Oh dear.. you have been around humans too long, haven't you?.. okay okay.. yes that's fine call me 'Phil'.. buying or selling?
Ares: Phil.. today I would like to.. sell!
Phil: [raised eyebrow] okay it must be either very small or invisible.. *what* are you selling?
Ares: I have swords to sell.. as hard as these old bones [points to some bones in a glass showcase].. they rate well over 20 on phi-moz scale
Phil: Are you pulling my leg...? is this a joke?? swords?
Ares turns his back and makes two swords come out of his forearms.. turning back
Ares: see?
Phil: I once had a Zeni trader come in here with the same spiel.. 5 minutes after he left the weapons turned to glass and shattered.. not interested.
Ares: at *least* inspect them..

Phil inspects closer..
Phil: These are asgardian weapons.. build in an asgardian forge ..what are *you* doing with them?
Ares quickly: I'm Asgardian.

Ares thinking: Just swallow your pride if you want the money!... this is taking forever.. just buy them!!

Phil:How much do you want for them?
Ares: Worth *at least* 100,000 credits.. at least..
Phil: That's not what I asked.. how much would you be prepared to take for them? best price
Ares: 75,000 credits and not a credit less..
Phil: 50,000..
Ares: done!

Ares is back at the window.. there was no queue this time.

Ares: this was much easier! no queue.. [smiles]
SA: because most of the ships have left.. a Kree warship is on it's way here looking for some 'outlaws'..
Ares: Ah!.. is that ship.. The Milano still taking 'cargo'?
SA: better hurry!

Ares pays the transport fee and runs towards to the only remaining ship at the nearby dock, he boards and no one is there..

Ares thinks: is this the right ship??

Ares turns round to the open rear door to see Drax standing and pointing at him

Drax: you are attempting to stowaway upon our vessel!
Mantis: I sense no deception in him.

Rocket comes barrelling out of the bar.. closely followed by Groot

Rocket: RUNNNN.. THE KREE ARE COMING.. RUNNN
Drax: Why is it we are the last to know these things?
Rocket quickly takes charge of the vessel and begins takeoff with everyone, except Quill and Gamora, on board

Rocket: We gotta go pickup I-spill and Gam-gam-legs.. coz they wanted a 'romantic' hour together.. they are on the 'observatory' near the roof of the skull.

Rocket: Who's the beefcake with the bad smell?
Drax: I shower regularly. Your insinuation of my bad smell is unflattering, considering..
Rocket: Not you dumb-dumb! Mr. Dominatrix over here..

Ares: Hi.. I'm Ares. [a bit embarrassed] I'm Olympian..
Rocket: What or who is an Olympian?? You look Asgardian..
Ares: Yes.. let's just go with that!

The group reach the roof of the skull, we see through the window Quill and Gamora wearing sheets like toga's only half covering their bodies, Gamora's left boob is uncovered but we cannot see it as the couple are dancing closely chests pushed up to each other ..

Rocket: OHW NOOO.. I DID NOT WANT TO SEE THAT TODAY
Groot: GROOOTT
Drax: Disgusting!.. when they stop do you think we will see the left boob of Gamora?

From behind the window the couple notice The Milano and begin shouting at the crew, a metal window beam to support the window covers Gamora's left boob

Drax: Oh that is disappointing!

Quill takes a remote from out of his jacket that is part of pile of clothes and aims it at The Milano, clicking the button, the front blast shield closes meaning the crew can no longer watch them.

Rocket: I seen Quill do this before..okay second..aaand bam!

Rocket has reached down and flipped a switch under the pilots control panel and the blast shields raise.. Gamora and Quill are now dressed and a Kree Warship is behind The Milano, Gamora and Quill are waving their arms to gesture about the Warship..

Rocket: What is that..?? are they bragging about having sex by waving their arms in joy??

The Warship opens fire narrowly missing The Milano and blasting the window.. Quill uses his Star-Lord spacesuit and covers Gamora's mouth with a respirator.. they fly out of the now broken window through space toward The Milano

Moments later inside The Milano..

Quill: ROCKET!! you *didn't* get I was gesturing there was *something* behind you??
Rocket: Well.. I just thought you were happy about all the 'love making' you both were doing!
Quill: it's sex.. no wait.. love making..
Gamora: yes it's sex. now shut up and get our asses out of here!

Ares: Hi.. I'm Ares by the way.
Quill: nice to meet you.
Gamora: CAN WE LEAVE NOW PLEASE? BEFORE WE ARE BLASTED INTO SHREDS!?

The Milano takes off but the Kree Warship pursues..

Back at Houuruphil's FAMOUS COMPORIUM TO ELICIT EXCITEMENT!!
Phil is standing over some Kree soldiers holding the two swords which are dripping in Kree blood..

Phil is slightly stunned: good purchase!

Missiles are exploding around the ship as pilots Quill and Rocket dodge the strikes

Ares: I know I'm new here and everything.. but why don't I just go over there and..
Rocket interrupts: ..and give them stiff talking to?? give them a spanking with your dominatrix ping-pong paddle??.. no go on.. what were you going to say?

Ares: And.. rip their ship apart..?

The Guardians are a bit stunned at this statement.

Ares: Can I borrow a respirator?

Rocket: If you're gone for more than an hour and we have to come over there and find you spanking each of them for your kinky pleasure.. your cargo contract is void!
Quill: yes.. and no refunds!

Ares: ooookay.

Gamora: they are saying if you die, we are not contractually obligated to retrieve your body and take it to your homeworld.

Rocket: wasn't that clear??.. *I* thought it was clear..
Quill: So did I.. yeah.. *totally crystal clear*

We see Ares put on a respirator standing at the back of the emergency pod air hatch as the air is sucked out into space..

Ares: As Alan might say.. Let us rock!

Ares launches himself at great speed to Kree Warship behind The Milano.. creating a hammer from his shoulder at exactly one second before hitting the Warship.. Ares smashes through the hull. He begins ripping the Kree into pieces and smashing them with his hammer..Rocket is watching in the rear view screen..

Rocket: Hammer time!
Rocket: Ohw!.. he's gone into a second room.. good start. now he's dead. boo-hoo.

The Warship starts to explode but just before its last large explosion Ares shoots out in what the team would later call a 'Space-Bike'.

Quill cagily to Rocket: did you.. *secure* like I asked.. that other.. *cargo* we have downstairs?
Rocket: I remember 'blah blah blah symbiote.. blah valuable reward money blah blah kick you in the teeth.. blah blah blah shave you'
Quill: so. that's a no then. .. Honestly all you had to do was check the shield modulator YOU rigged for it..
Rocket: sorry!!.. I was excited for Bingo night at the bar! .. by the way you didn't even ask how much we won..
Quill: How much did you win??
Rocket: we lost 10,000 credits!.. but it's the taking part that's important!
Groot: I am Groot.
Rocket: Don't tell him that! He'll just get madder..
Quill: so it would have been 15,000 but you won 5000 back.. great! It's still 10,000 credits!

Meanwhile at Hallerom Industries..

Tony has left, Hank Pym, Dave Shaw and Alicia Osborne are standing staring at the partially made iron suit.. Guillotine, Alan and Markus are standing in darkness behind them at the console

Hank: I say we tear it down and start again..
Dave: Man.. that iys yur solution fur everythin' Hank.. we could huv this up an' running TODAY..
Hank: Don't talk like a doofus.. you're smarter than that. it's OLD TECH.. I don't see you recommending muskets to the Rand military division..
Alicia to Hank: Nanotech?
Dave interjects: No way.. this iys a auld fashioned hot rod.. deserves some respect!
Alicia: Dave.. I'm more Biotech than engineering.. and if you think it's easy being Norman Osborn's niece.. I had to claw my way up inch by inch, earning each person's respect as I climbed.. my point?
Biotech is the future, even the designer of this very suit has moved on to biotech based designs. So.. your point is moot.
Dave: [closes eyes and puts fingers to his temple, like trying to guess a playing card] Ah'm sensing thys iys becomin' less an' less o' an engineering problem.. an' mare an' mare o' a *you* thing.. so lets æsk the owner shall we? Ah'm sure we could use some guidance!

Guillotine: I am up for whatever stops my arm being in the most pain..
Alicia: We can fix that with our new Nanosprites..
Guillotine: I have had *some* nano repair with the Nanos from Hallerom administered by a Doctor.. it's a magic based injury..
Alicia: OKAY.. this just got too weird for me. I'm out. .. .. and Markus.. I'm de-friending you on my social media. goodbye!
Markus: [sad] ohhww..

Dave: An' then there wur two. Hank?
Hank: okay okay.. let's get this old hunk of junk running.. anything to put a frown on Stark's smug git of a face!

Back in The Milano the symbiote is trying to bond with Ares..

Ares: I'm pretty open minded about inter species relationships.. but this is a *bit* too far for me..

Rocket: BLAST IT!
Quill: Utbay remem-bay.. on the reward..-ay [attempting pig latin]
Rocket: BLAST HIM!

Gamora: NO ROCKET! a contract is a contract!

Mantis: Why doesn't the Asgardian bond? .. She seems to love him..
Gamora: fondling the creature is NOT helping!.. can't you make it sleep??
Mantis: This kind does not sleep.. besides.. she is so happy and in love with the 'beefcake'..

Ares: oookay.. this has gone too far..
Ares to Symbiote : Either let me go.. or find out why countless worlds fear me..

Rocket from the background mumbling, walking away: never heard o' ya..but wwoo 'worlds fear me'

Mantis: She is saying even IF you hurt her, she will love you always..
Ares: FLIP!.. All I said was 'I liked the shiney monster and thought it looked cool..' you have some issues you need to work out..

Ares creates two swords from his arms cutting off many of the symbiotes tentacles.. unseen by the team, we see one tiny tenticle about an inch long zip round Ares' back and absorb into his skin.

Mantis: She says 'I will always be *with* you' ..then she made some heart smiley faces in her mind.
Ares a little distrubed: Always good to meet a fan.

Groot grows in size and makes extra arms to collect all of the symbiote and push the main part back inside the field generator.. Gamora flips the switch.

Gamora: Done!

Moments later back in the cockpit..

Ares: I never asked... where are we going?
Rocket: Get this guy!.. buys a ride, don't know where the bus goes! HAHA that's rich!
Gamora: Xandar.. the Xandarians are offering a reward for that Klyntar symbiote..
Quill: One.. we intend to collect.. money money yo!
Ares: So Andromeda..
Quill: yup!
Ares: any chance you could drop me off near the Sovereign homeworld?
Quill: nope!

Gamora: We have some .. history.. with them.
Ares: even if you were .. remotely.. in the area, I could use the 'space bike' and respirator.. and of course I would throw in an extra 5000 credits for your trouble.. I remind you I paid 50,000 credits for this 'ride'..
Quill: 50,000? man what a gyp!.. so they are charging 15,000 credits to have us on the notices? *I* am SO going to ask for a refund next time we are back there!
Rocket: I lost 10,000 at bingo.. he's offering 5000 and we made 35,000 just letting him on board.. and he 'saved' us from the Kree.. I say all's fair in 'love and war' haha
Drax: That is a good point about the Kree.. I did not mention it.. but I too lost at gambling..
Gamora and Quill: DRAX!!
Gamora: How much??
Drax: A lot.. I didn't want to to say anything in case your reaction was that you didn't like me at that moment. Which I see happening before me.
Gamora: How. much.
Drax: 37,000 credits.
Quill: OHW COME ON!!
Drax: But I was *sure* the little rat couldn't keep losing! I find it odd it did so many times.
Rocket: HAHA.. and I get heat for 10,000.. man! your rations are going to slim for a month!! no pudding for you!
Drax: [sad] ohww.. I very much like pudding.

Ares: So is that a yes on the Sovereign homeworld..
Gamora: yes. we don't seem to have a choice.

The Crew are finishing up lunch when they arrive near the Sovereign's home system..

Rocket: How much exactly is this *reward*..?
Quill: 10 Million credits
Rocket: WHAT? and you are sweating me and Drax here, over a few lousy credits??
Quill: But what if it didn't come through.. as Gamora says.. as usual.. 'something went wrong'? huh what about then.. don't have an explanation do you..

Ares stands at the back of the ship ready to go.. no one sees him.. no one is listening

Ares: nice to meet you all..

No one stops arguing..
Ares raises his hand and waves.. he gets on his space-bike puts on his respirator and moves the bike to the air-lock..

Mantis looks behind herself, sensing slightly through feelings, then sees Ares is gone..

Mantis: Beefcake is gone..

Quill looks up and nods.. and returns to the argument.
Quill to Rocket: You only think of yourself.. y'know that?
Rocket to Quill: Bite me and the space-bike I rode in on..

Ares blasts away.. he feels lonely.. but randomly he feels a warmness [this is the symbiote trying to 'help' him]

Back in Paris, Lep and Firegirl (Isabella Garcia) are enjoying their 'girls day out' looking through clothing..

Lep: T'anks for doin thys Isabella..
Isabella: [happily] De nada mi amiga!
Lep: How long have you been a member?
Isabella: I knew Peregrine for a while now, and Guillotine then Captain Bretana.. charming man, but a little arrogant sometimes.. I joined Champions of Europe a few years ago but have not been very active..
Lep: I have been calling the new team 'Euro-Avengers'.. all cool n' stuff
Isabella: hmm.. bueno.. I like this.
Lep: be sure tæ bring dat up at da next meetin'!
Isabella: Si claro!
Lep: Ah'm a little worried dat ma man would stært tæ ignore mæ.. yknow dat we do the naughty enough..an' Alan seems fine.. but again næ reason tæ give excuse wit no buyin somethin' nice lookin.. so he can see down me top hahaha
Isabella: jejeje.. I don't know Alan but I am sure he is a fine fellow.. he quickly became part of the team and won your heart.. not easy around here.. I know for sure!
Lep: What do you mean?
Isabella: Well I have been trying to be 'part of the team' for years.. Cap and Guillotine tell me 'you need more experience!' .. then I say 'How do I get experience if you don't let me be part of the team?' then they say 'yes it's catch 22.. maybe next time.' next time never comes.. I was so happy when as you call him 'Peri' phoned me.. I was excited at the thought of a cause.. but when I heard it was for further friendship.. I was still very happy. Glad to be needed and make a new friend into the bargain!
Lep: OH WOW.. Ah hud næ idea there wis a waiting list.. erm.. sorry about dat.
Isabella: Es no nada.. esta bien amiga. .. besides.. good that's it's a girl huh? [wink]
Lep: no sure oan dat.. girls vs boys.. we might scare them off! haha
Isabella: jeje

Meanwhile on a moon in the Sovereign System ..

Adam Warlock is overseeing an installation of a solar system warping device, his engineers are working hard to get everything exact.. Ares is heading towards the sovereign homeworld, but as he passes the moon he sees the gigantic installation and it glimmering in the sunlight..

Ares thinks: try there first.. might be a time saver.

Ares arrived at the installation.. he shouts towards Adam..

Ares: Hello!.. I'm looking for Adam Warlock.. do you know him? have you seen him?
Adam laughs: I am he.
Ares: Ohw good.. I need some assistance dispatching a foe..
Adam: Am I your servant now?? NO. I am King.
Ares: Well.. let me explain..
Adam: I *think* I have heard enough or your mix of madness and foolery. Leave or die.
Ares: Listen.. I merely want a couple of days of help, then I'm gone.. and death is not on my cards today.
Adam: You tweet like a little bird that has lost it's food.. die now for my sanity of silence.

Adam creates a huge blast shockwave towards Ares.. but asif.. in slow motion, Ares faces away from the blast and makes 100's of swords to shield himself.. his face is in so much pain.. it is upsetting to see.. the swords shield him from the blast and then Ares sends them against Adam.. Adam disintegrates 90% of them but a few manage to get through and cut his body badly.. he self heals.. however this has given Ares time to create more..

Ares: Fear me.. I am 'The God of War'!

1000 weapons come round his back at Adam.. and Adam is a *little* afraid.. Adam throws up a bubble shield, the first 200 swords shatter.. then one cracks the shield then another, then one breaks through then another deeper..

Adam: Such power! What or who possibly could you not kill??
Ares: Doctor Doom!
Adam: Stop! I will help! He is an enemy of my people.. he has stolen many of our ancient artifacts..
Ares: hmm.. I wish you had simply listened..

The whole time attacking Adam in the bubble shield Ares had been making more weapons.. we see Ares on his space-bike with around 2000 weapons hovering behind him..

Ares thinks: I am exhausted.. I *might* pass out.. hope he doesn't see that..

Back at Hallerom Industries the guys have just put the finishing touches to Guillotines new suit..
Guillotine steps into the circle of light.. the suit twinkling in Red and Gold, the helmet is a open metal hood with a three quarters faceplate still revealing Guillotines eyes..

Guillotine: Engage flight mode.

Some yellow sunglasses with virtual screens drop over her eyes as she levitates..

Dave: Hows the ærm?

Guillotine: I am not sure what you all did.. but it is much much better thank you!

Dave turns to Markus: We made a impulse detector iyn the lateral forærm, wen Guillotine tenses tæ move iyt picks up thyt she wa'nts tæ move an' sends juice tæ the shoulder an' elbow servos..

Hank: Comfortable in there?.. young lady you cut a niiice figure with that suit hehe
Guillotine: Yes.. and I can't thank you enough.. yknow I DO like older gents.. are you single Hank?
Hank: Even if I wasn't I would suddenly be single for you! hehe
Guillotine: hehe.. okay we will arrange a date, possibly next week. we sync our schedules and agree eh?
Hank: Sounds good!

Dave looks around a bit mystified by all the sudden romance and flirting..

Alan to Dave: Ah widnæ look iyt me.. Ah'm spoken fur!
Dave: ha.ha. very funny.. hæy wer ur ye fæ?
Alan: Stirling.. yursel?
Dave: Dumbarton..
Alan: Ohw aye.. Ah ken Dumbarton.. yon Castle n' thyt.. 'takeaway capital o' the west coast!' haha
Dave: haha yuv go'at thyt right!

Markus: I haven't understood a word either of you have said since before I first phoned Mr. Shaw..

Dave: He dusnæ ken o' iyt..
Alan: Aye.. dusnæ mætter, Ah ay seen a load o' Latinos dæ thyt iyn movies, gee'n iyt Spanish lingo tæ wan an'oer, gees us the upper haun wæ Scots hehe
Dave: Aye Ah suppose [smiles]

Hank and Guillotine have been talking.. we catch up with them.. both are talking loudly because of the jets.

Hank: So the tests are pretty standard for these types of personal armor suits, except the sides of your face are a little exposed.. your *sure* you don't want a full faceplate?
Guillotine: I am sure.. felt too claustrophobic, besides even though it is a hood, it is a solid piece when up as long as I look down nothing should hurt me..
Hank: OK. Please fly into that concrete block.. head first

Guillotine aims her face down and headbutts in to the huge concrete block.. the block suffers the worst of it.. looking like a massive bullet hole.. the suit de-powers for a split second and comes back on..

Hank: DAVE! we need to tweak the power couplings..
Dave: Righto!

The two work on the suit quickly..

Hank: Annnd done!
Dave: Iyt wis a loose connection iyn the stabilizing servo..shouldnæ ever be loose again.

Hank: try again..

Guillotine now with more confidence smashes into the concrete block again.. the block shatters to pieces, a second block is there.. Guillotine rams that one too.. which also shatters to pieces..

Markus: We're running out of blocks.. just fyi!

Two blocks remain..

Hank: try on-board weapons

Guillotine: engage assault mode.

Her chest begins to glow with electricity, two concealed weapon compartments pop out of her arms and she begins firing.. many many little square razor sharp blades impact into the block wall

Guillotine: *this* I like.. what's the capacity?
Hank: ohww around a 1000 ?.. the actual cartridge is in the feet for quick restock.. just click the boots on here [points to a flat stand with metal tendrils extended] .. and it'll put in a new cartridge of around 500 in each foot.

At that moment Ares and Adam Warlock crash through the ceiling..

Ares says in a very cool and definitive way:
We got help!

... ... ..

Guillotine: THE DOOR IS RIGHT THERE!
[points to the shutter doors]

----------
THE END.
----------

Euro-Avengers #5 Fanfic
"What a Tangled Web We Weave..
When First We Practise to Perceive.."

Ares has left to 'collect a favor' as he put it.. the team are at Hallerom Industries.. continuing further testing of Guillotine's suit.. Adam is waiting.. however he is often looking at the team like they are 'hobo's discussing politics'.

Guillotine: My uncle would have loved seeing us do all this stuff [beams with a smile]

Alan: Ye know.. yur company's name iys lit David Haller's name.. any relation?

Guillotine:.. strange .. but really no.. [sober tone] my uncle's surname was Hall.. and the company's name in the 1970s was Hall-EROM.. he sold EROM chips in the early days of computing, but people just kept calling it 'Hal -er-om' .. eventually my uncle just give up and called it.. Hallerom Industries.. weird thing was people really took to that name internationally, made serious money this way.

Alan at the console: Thyt's Hank an' Dave's AI loaded.. they wur a bit worried iyt wid clash wæ the suit.. let's fun oot eh?

Guillotine: Oui.. I thought Tony was nice enough.. but like the guys said he was being all snobby with us..

Sparks fly from the suit

Guillotine: OW .. OW..

The suit catches fire..

Alan uses a fire extinguisher on Guillotines suit..

then a loud voice..

Neural.
Interface.
Spectral.
Spacial.
Assistant.
N.I.S.S.A IS ONLINE.
Initiating procedural com-visor check.. verbose.

The suit starts firing each flight thruster in sequence..

flight check.. OK!

GPS GUIDANCE AND SERVOS .. OK!

WEAPON SYSTEMS.. 60% NOMINAL

ARMOR INTEGRITY.. 45%

RECOMMENDATION: SERVICE IS REQUIRED.

Hello.. I am Nissa, how can I serve you today ma'am?

Alan: He's a bit.. English..

Guillotine:I like him.. he has one of those TransAtlantic Accents from the 1940s.. sounds a bit like Frasier .. or Cary Grant [smile]

Nissa: I see I have the option to change to a female voice if ma'am would prefer?

Alan and Guillotine speak at the same time with opposite answers (YES!/NO!).. then..

Guillotine: NO!..I'm the one in here with him.. my suit I choose huh?

Alan: Ah suppose.. huv ye heard fæ Braddock?

Guillotine: Didn't we talk about this .. when in company, you are to call him .. ???

Alan: aye ok.. any word fæ.. Captain Birdseye? [smile]

Guillotine [silence]

Meanwhile.. in London on a skyscraper patio rooftop.. Captain Britain is having tea with 'Admiral' David Haller a.k.a Legion. They are discussing JJ..

David: So you are *sure* he is dead?
Cap: I seen him die myself. .. However, a friend informed me that he *may* still be alive.
David: Well.. you would probably know best where to find him.. How is Lep? Is she settling in with the rest of the team?
Cap: team.. well.. I can't count myself part of that at present..
David: Cheer up.. I'm sure it's temporary.
Cap: I'm not so sure.. ever since I recruited 'Widow-Spider' his disrespect of me, a long standing member has been clear.. however I am not too sure of just letting him go.. his strength and skill often impresses.
David: Can I afford you a suggestion..?
Cap: shoot!
David: You are waving a flag at him that he hates.. it's sewn into your very suit .. perhaps it is not YOU he trying to disrespect.. but you representing something he finds.. evil. I am american.. and of course do not feel the same, however he is not.. and perhaps to him.. representing that flag means you are.. representing evil.
Cap: This is my heritage.. I am proud to do this and give personal sacrifice to do so..
David: But that's NOT HIS heritage..
Cap: Yes it is.. whether he likes it or not..
David: .. .. and there is your problem. 'his heritage whether he likes it or not' he obviously doesn't..and you are making him resent it the more effort you put into making him accept it.. can I make a suggestion?
Cap:... hmmm.. I suppose..
David: OKAY so you *are* Captain Britain.. but.. why can't you be Captain England as well?.. waving a flag you have every right to be proud of as an Englishman.. and not forcing him to accept something he resents..
Cap: I'm a quarter Welsh.
David: One thing at a time..

Across the other side of the planet In the Hellfire Club in Boston, Massachusetts.. Ares is sitting drinking some 'Bull Brand LITE' while seemingly waiting on someone..

Ares thinking: 2 hours.. you think he would be on time so we could start?
A waitress with red skin and red horns comes over..
Waitress: Hi I'm Patti.. Can I refresh your drink while you wait on Mr. Lehnsherr?
Ares: Hi Patti.. y'know I am not made of money or time.. I hope your boss will be here soon!
Patti:.. y'know this *isn't* a real Hellfire Club.. they are based out of NY these days..I'm surprised 'my boss' asked you to meet here..
Ares: As am I Patti..

At that moment Magneto comes in the bar and see's Ares and comes over to the table..he speaks to the waitress..

Magneto: Lemon Schnapps, and a beer with whiskey chaser. thank you Patricia. ..[sits down] How can I help you Ares?
Ares: You remember the 'favor' I did you.. providing the transmogrifier circuitry? time to call in that favor.
Magneto: That is WHY we are here yes.. but what is it that I can do to repay *that* favor
Ares: Doom killed a friend. We're going to kill Doom.
Magneto: wow.
[silence]
Patti comes with the drinks and a fresh drink for Ares..
Magneto: Thank you Patricia. ... .. I don't know what to say Ares. He's probably the most powerful human alive that doesn't have reality warping powers. I have tried to kill him before on several occasions without success.
Ares: We have a reality warper, a Spider-Man and the Power Cosmic..
Magneto: wow.. good start! I can't really argue with any of that..but still.. he has a dozen macguffins for every occasion.. it is part of his 'hobby' to be prepared for every possible situation.. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if already knew or predicted your plan and had been busy countering it..

We flash back to two weeks ago..

Doom is standing in his library, a citizen of Latveria is talking to him..

Citizen: Most humbly Lord Von Doom.. my cousin is a guard in Division 3, he knows no worth of the information he gave me..but I knew these people had opposed you before, so I remembered it.
Doom: Go on.. I am sure no matter the information you will be richly rewarded for your loyalty..
Citizen: My cousin said.. they have a reality warper as part of their team..
Doom interrupts: This is very strange.. Captain Britain has an aversion to such people.. are you *sure*..
Citizen: Yes my Lord Von Doom. Quite certain. She claims to be some sort of Leprechaun..
Doom: Yes.... .. tell the butler to give you 100 gold florins when you leave, I am sure you will not tell him more than I wish.
Citizen: Oh yes.. oh mighty and wise ruler!

The Citizen exits.. and Doom rises, walks over to his wall safe and takes out a small old leather coin purse.. sits at his desk..

Doom thinks: I very much doubt she is actually a Leprechaun.. seeing how I killed the last one 10 years ago to get this treasure.. he wouldn't shut up about being the last of his kind..

Doom thinks: The Coins of Fate [as he empties and counts the gold coins].. it reads in their language: whatsoever you do to others with this coin will do done to you also..

Doom thinks: I am not keen on using these.. but if I am dealing with a reality warper.. it will be prudent to have them 'just in case'.

Back in London, 8pm, Cap has tracked down JJ.. he was staying in the Ritz Hotel London, Cap approaches him in the foyer as he tries to go up to his room..

Cap: Jim Jaspers!
JJ sadly: Oh flip!
Cap: You need to come with me.. do not try and harm these innocent people.. I am ARMED!
JJ: Wait.. wait.. listen..can we have a drink please?.. just listen..
Cap: WHAT?
JJ: The bar is *right* over there..

JJ begins walking towards the bar.. Cap is a little stunned.. but watches with bemusement.. JJ sits down at the bar and says:

JJ: Lime cola and gin please.

Cap cautiously walks up and slowly sits on the bar stool next to JJ

Cap: Whats the jig?.. you're saying 'please' to normal people now??
The female bartender gives him his drink
JJ: Thank you.
Cap: NOW I NEED to know what going on.. saying 'Thank you'?? This is turning into morbid curiosity.
JJ: OK.. so I died. I realize this. I don't want it to happen again so.. I am turning over a new leaf!
Cap: Say what now!?
JJ: I entered *this* reality due to an anachronism in this timeline.. being a reality warper myself, if I can be remembered I can be brought back..
Cap: What do you mean *this timeline*.. and also we figured as much..
JJ: I just *don't* want to die ever again.. it's that simple. I was killed before.. I respect that.

JJ:Ultimately.. I would like to join the team.. so *that* team is NOT trying to kill me perhaps we could beat Doom together then yous wouldn't try to kill me.. or even kill me less often.. I knew if you guys freaked out.. you would be more willing to the idea of.. well.. perhaps inviting me into your team.. And .. honestly I have turned over a new leaf.. I even had an argument with a shop assistant whom I did NOT kill or harm in anyway.. well except to say I wouldn't be back; that they had lost my patronage.
Cap: [silence]
JJ: I can count on you to remember and think about me. [smiles]
Cap: You are as nuts as ever.. there I was thinking.. well.. maybe he's went crazy in a good way.. but no 'I want to never die'.. crazy evil as ever!
JJ: Hmph.. This isn't the original timeline.. a part mutant /part cosmic cube called Kobik, has altered the timeline to make Hydra much more powerful.. in the SHIELD timeline.. I was dead without hope of return.. when Kobik changed the timeline.. yes I was dead but things had changed significantly enough I could get a foothold and return.. I imagine soon enough this timeline will return to the SHIELD timeline.. and everyone will be 'reset' .. Welp obviously.. I don't want that to happen to me.. because that means my perma-death.
Cap: This is the way it has always been Jaspers..you can't just creep around in the shadows avoiding death.. it HAS to end sometime.. like it does for everyone.
JJ: I disagree.
Cap: I don't.

Cap slaps a 'reality check' collar on JJ..

JJ: NOOOO
Cap: your coming with me.. to Division 3
JJ: You realize.. you just arrested me with a rhyme..[annoyed] how humiliating!

Back at Hallerom Industries.. it's very late and everyone has gone home.. only Alan is left working on the suit..

A voice from both the shadows and the past rings out..

Voice: Hello..

Alan: Peter??

Peter walks over to where Alan is working..

Peter: Who *are* you?
Alan: Ah um yur suspicion an' anger!
Peter: What??
Alan: Wit ur ye dæn here anyways?
Peter: Tony Stark mentioned you, I'm assessing how much of a threat you are.
Alan: ye huv næ idea.. noo git lost afore ah gee ye beatin' thyt makes ye feel lit Jonah wen ye wer first haunin in yur photos
Peter: Whaa.. What are you talking about?
Alan: AH WIS THE VOICE IN THE BACK O' YER HEED THYT WIS sayin 'DIDNÆ TRUST DOC CONNER'S HE'S A CHANCER..' but 'naw..his assistant hus the same name as ma gran' wis enough tæ shut that thought process!

Peter is stunned

Alan: Aye! Genius! His assistant hus the same name as ma Grandmother so aye he's trustworthy! total flippin doofus!

[Moira MacKay was Peter's grandmother's maiden name.. Moira MacTaggart wasn't actually Doc Connors intern/assistant, but had volunteered to work with him for a year to study his work on gene therapy, however this was never mentioned to Peter]

[**mini flashback** Doc Connors telling a 19yo Peter.. he *may* have cancer and should get rid of the Spider DNA through rigorous gene therapy.. ** .. Doc Connors taking Peter's blood samples.. ** .. Doc Connors leaving the skylight open for Peter to enter at night as Spider-Man to continue the research by running computer simulations.. ** .. The Jackal entering the same skylight and stealing Peters blood samples.. **.. The Jackal setting up his lab]

Peter: I would try to say something, but I can hear your disappointment and anger, so I won't. The lair exploded, I imagine..
Alan: THYT'S THE PROBLEM.. IMAGINATION ..Ah followed yez fur two weeks seein wit yez wer dæn.. ye didnay even come back tæ check.. total flippin' amatuers!.. dumb and dumber.

Peter: I was.. young and foolish, and didn't know what I was doing.
Alan: Ayt least ye huv the dignity to no try tæ defend yur actions.

Peter: I have never told anyone .. but the Jackal had three lairs.

Alan: Och.. Ah dunno how 'Ben' escaped, but Ah wis there fur two months, The Jackal wid feed mæ but Ah widnæ digest ma food, but go'at the acid tæ build up in ma stomach and concenratit.. the abominations Ah seen.. Ah wis restrained tæ a big disc thing, then when he went oot fur an hour, Ah spat it oan wan o' the restratints o ma hauns, let it weakin o'er an h'our, that wis enough tæ git that haun free, an' wæ that haun ah could smash the rest o' iyt.. ye didnæ even come back! no fur me coz Ah wis away..but fur the poor guys still hining oan the wa'z! WHY DIDYE NO COME BACK FUR THEM??

Peter:[a little shook] did you release them?

Alan: Ah couldnæ.. Ah go'at tæ ma second haun free, an' the Jackal came back, we tussled.. an Ah escaped. Watched yez fur a bit.. then set aff oot o' the madhoose thyt wis that situation tæ Stirling An' Gran MacKay's auld færm hoose.

Alan: Ye don't wa'nt tæ know wit Ah've seen.. Peter HE HUD IYT DOON TÆ 4 H'OURS! The first two months o' ma life wis spent inside AN ACTUAL HORROR MOVIE!

Peter: [gasp!]

Alan: No tæ make light o' anythin.. but he hud a couple o' female versions.. yknow he tried tæ put make-up oan thum tæ shut thum up?.. Ah huvnæ hud anywan tæ tell thyt tæ.. Ah've ay wan'tit tæ tell somewan.. coz iyt wis jist .. weeeirdd. Watchin' him tryin' his haun as a make-up artist..

Peter: Is this.. I don't know what to make of that.

Alan: ne'er dæ Ah.. iyt wis the closest Ah go'at tæ humor in two months o' horror.

Alan:.. Soooo.. dæ ye know where Doc Conner's iys?

Peter: Kurt has a lot to work out on his own terms.

Alan: Ahh.. so 'Kurt' iys iyt noo?

Peter: I.. I can't support any attempt on his life.. I understand WHY you would be angry..but angry enough to end his life.. that is NOT justice.

Alan: says you. .. y'know he wis jist guinea piggin' you fur any cancer research he could git his hauns oan?

Peter: .. I.. wow.. do you really think he was doing that?.. no matter! he doesn't deserve death!

Alan: High an' mighty iys iyt?.. y'know.. dæ ye remember when ye KILLED Rhino.. Green Goblin hud stole Mary Jane.. an' ye thot Rhino knew somthin'?.. ye like tæ tell folk he survived.. but thyt's no the full story iys iyt?

Peter obstinate: I have no idea what you are talking about.

Alan: Oh aye.. you remember.. ye *snapped* an killed him bi punchin' him tæ death.. if iyt wisnæ fur Doc Conner's funin' him efter an' usin' wan o' his serums.. Rhino wid bi deed the noo. But YOU tell it differently.. tell folk thyt ye stopped when ye realized.. coz ye cannæ haunle the guilt o' *snappin'*.. BUT THYTS THE THING AH KIN HAUNLE THE GUILT O' SNAPPIN'.. Ah'm built fur it!

Peter holds his mouth: I think I'm going to be sick..

Alan: Trauma's a tricky thing Pete..Ah wis built tæ resist iyt.. you wurnæ.

At a campfire.. the same one the team first met Lep.. Peri, Guillotine, Adam, Firegirl and Lep are talking.. Firegirl is telling her 'origin story'

Firegirl: I was merely in my teens..for all the fire I have.. I have never had a 'fiery temper' jeje. I was coming from School going home when I see in the sky something bright.. shining..

Adam: The Sun?

Lep raises an eyebrow.

Firegirl: No.. something else, but equally as bright.. I stood and watched it, like it would pass by me.. it seems some kind of meteor.. orange..but instead it come and hit me on the chest.. I passed out for a moment.. but when I awoke, I could see I was absorbing it.. it was changing me into .. something..

Lep interrupts: Hey.. da same thing happened tæ me.. Ah wis walking home fæ the pub in da fields ayt night.. wen dis stotan great green rock from da sky hit mæ in tha chest! When ah woke up.. ah could see iyt wis changin' mæ.. WAIT.

The group are stunned.

Lep: AH REMEMBER! Ah'm Siobhan O'Connell.. Ah work in a pub! Ah huv TONS o' degrees fur everythin'.. but ah pure flippin hate laboratories coz they don't let ye huv a nip ayt lunchtime! Ah huv three doctorates! and five masters.

Lep: I most definitely enjoy me a nip! Me parents ur a pain in the rear.. they won't shut up about how Ah'v tæ 'save thum from financial ruin'..

[Lep looks at her svelte legs]

wow Ah have lost tons o' weight.. Ah look HAWT!..

Dat Alan fella iys a lucky guy!.. [stunned realization in remembering] OH ALAN! ..

Ah love dat man!..

wow what a great guy! stood by me bein all crazy an' everyt'in'!..

he is sooo getting tæ do tings wæ mæ o'der girls won't do!..

[still stunned]

maybe I should make ano'er me and give him dat threesome?? wow..

Guillotine: I am so happy for you.. shall we call you Lep?

Lep: Sure..Ah can't tink o' an'oer name right away.. Ah guess iyt's fyne.. except fur da racial stereotype..but fur di now aye.. 'green goddess' is a bit too blasphemous fur me, Ah dunno. An' Ah t'ank ye..

Lep: .. in fact t'ank yez awl!.. Ah t'ink Ah should go an' talk tæ ma man!
Peri: [big warm smile] bien!!

Firegirl: I am glad my story has helped you! [big smile].. we are meteor sisters![wink]
Lep: Ye got dat right! [wink]

Captain Britain is at Division 3 Facility in Sweden..

Agent: Soo.. no-one will be coming for this one.. right?
Cap: I don't imagine so. .. If you'll excuse me, I have to go.. I have some thinking to do..

We see Cap flying with the facility in the background.. then we see him reach his house in England..He is holding an English flag the 'St. George's Cross'.. we see him sew it upon his suit covering all of the Union Jack..

Cap: Captain England!

Cap thinks: Let's see if the Admiral was right.. if not I'll just buy another flag and use this one as a keepsake. [smiles]

Back at Hallerom Industries Peter has left due to feeling quite sick.. Alan is alone and a bit tired due to it being so late, Lep and Firegirl walk into the main suit testing area..

Lep: Alan.. we *need* tæ talk..
Alan: Wit??.. how ye bein weird ma love?.. wits up?
Lep: Ah remember.. Ah remember everyt'in'. Ah remember bein Siobhan O'Connell, Ah remember mæ.
Alan: Oh wow.. thyt's huge ma love!.. wait.. dæ still love mæ aye?..man.. thyt wi
Lep:Shut up ye auld fool! Of course Ah love ye! [kisses Alan with a deep tongue kiss]
Alan: [breathless] wow!.. an' wit dæ ye mean auld?? hehe
Lep: Ah'm 29 years auld.. yur 41.. ye auld stoter [wink] sexy as ma man is sure!
Alan [whispers]: if Isabella wisnæ here.. we'd get busi!
Lep: Næ worries.. she kin watch sure!
Firegirl [awkward but kind]: I think I need to go jeje

At that moment Cap enters the room with his new outfit..

Cap: I am willing to change to be accepted.. I'm going to *sometimes* use this suit while we are in 'Euro-Avengers' together.. and go by 'Captain England'

Alan whispers to Lep: ur ye dæn awe thys?.. wow
Lep: Ah talked Firegirl intæ comin, without her known, so she could watch us.. but Braddock naw dat wisnæ me!

Cap: The rest of the time.. I will be of course 'Captain Britain' [smiles]..for now in Euro-Avengers Captain England!

[Cap semi-repeated what he just said because.. no one spoke to him about it]

Alan: THYT ..AM PROUD O'! no ropin' folk iyn wæ yur ideals jist coz o' yur ain politics.. well done Cap!.. well done Captain England!

Ares and Magneto float through the hole in the roof knocking the tarpalling down..

Ares: New uniform?.. looks dorky. Where is everyone? We have the last person we need to kill Doom. Oh!.. This is Magneto by the way.. one of the fiercest warriors your planet provides.

Alan: Lep remembers bein' human.. Captain England here.. an' we finished the suit fur Guillotine.. noo yur sayin' Ah'm goiny git tæ rip Dooms heed aff? MAN.. thys hus been *some* lucky day fur mæ!

Captain England: Remember Ares.. we are there to arrest him..
Magneto: HA!.. I like this one.. he is crazy!

END
---

~~~~~~~~~Exposition Theatre~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
-----------
'Mix Work AND Home?'

After Stark left and before Hank and Alicia arrived .. Dave was hanging around chatting to Guillotine and she asked:

So, Dave Shaw and Reed Richards.. what happened there?

Dave: Ohww...aye OK .. so Ah hud been wæ The Fantastic Four fur aroon 8 years, won the Richards Grant ayt 16yo, met up wæ Reed o'er 2 years then he offered me the job, Ah hud jist turned 19yo wen Ah moved tæ NYC, miny a'folk consider mæ his protege..but these days Ah dunno if Ah wis his monkey thyt he wis bein' polite tæ no tell mæ..

So Ah come intæ work.. normal day.. an' Reed calls mæ intæ his office lab.. an' he stærts sayin.. Ah shouldnæ huv sold wan o' ma schematics for a certain circuitry.. iyt wis a small thing.. a power regulator.. mæstly used fur microwaves n' thyt.. Ah didnæ make much cash aff iyt.. aroon $500 ..coz iyt wis only a 5% increase in efficiency.. coulda made iyt a 100%.. but Ah knew Ah shouldnæ dæ thyt in case iyt fell intæ the wrang hauns..So he's chewin' me oot.. aboot $500 an' 5%.. an' Ah say tæ him:
Reed.. Ah'm lit faimly here.. kin Ah move iyn?
An' he corrects mæ.. sayin'
Reed: My FAMILY is SUE, JOHNNY, FBR.. AND BEN..
Dave: So wit um Ah?
Reed: You're my assistant.
Dave: So.. erm.. kin Ah huv a salary?
Reed: I don't see why I would need to pay you, you gain so much experience here it's like free college..
Dave: So.. let mæ get thys straight.. Ah've no tæ sell ma designs.. Ah cannæ move iyn.. and yur no goiny pay mæ.. how do Ah get money tæ pay ma bills? Ah need somewhere tæ stay!
Reed: [smirk] You're a smart guy.. you work it out.

Ah wis stunned.. 8 years, an' he didnæ gee two hoots if Ah lived oar died. Ah left that day.. collected awe ma stuff.. an' went tæ pay ma rent.. wen Ah wis oan ma way there fæ doon the street Ah saw ma place wis gettin' knocked doon.. so Ah drapped awe ma stuff oan the groon tæ try an' chase away the bulldozers n' thyt.. stupit Ah know noo..but Ah wis iyn shock! Efter an argument wæ the demolition crew.. Ah came back tæ see ma stuff wis gone!.. in wan o' the boxes Ah hud threw ma cheque fur the $500.. thyt wis gone a'naw wæ awe the boxes.

Ah slept iyn a pile o' bricks where ma apærtment used tæ bi.. second night..thys limo drives by.. The guy wis the Rand guy.. Harold Meachum.. he offered mæ buttons oan a contract.. but iyn the back o the limo Ah pu'shed fur a few things.. lit ma office an' ma rooms.. unlimited food/drink/cleaning budget.. an' he said aye.

If noo Ah could git oot o the contract.. Ah'd be oot o' there in a shot! but ays long ays they've go'at mæ.. Ah guess they've go'at mæ..

Guillotine: What happened between you and Tony Stark?

Dave: Flippin' Tony Stark!!.. He reversed engineered wan o' ma earthing isolator circuits and used iyt in his Iron Man suit!! iyt's a circuit tæ redistrubute static build up durin' flight, wan iyn each knee.. No jist thyt.. he hud the cheek tæ send mæ o'er a 'medium' priced bottle o' champagne.. wæ a congratulations note an' a trashy low pay contract.. better thun Rand.. but still.. he wis basically wa'ntin' mæ tæ take a reg job as his CTO fur junior engineer money.. dare call ma work 'medium'!

No the first time either.. took ma design fur the belt fed regulator.. iyts a tiny component that is a timer lit oan a car.. lit the timing belt.. mæst folk were still usin' rubber.. When Ah struck oan the idea o' usin' the bike chain system.. thyt way even if ye git a bullet jam in the cartridge the loading mech widnæ buckle!

Ah saw him ayt a dinner pærty a year oar more efter he'd done iyt..he came up tæ mæ an' said.. 'great design on the belt fed regulator!'.. lit it wis OK tæ steal iyt fæ mæ!!

Guillotine: Wow.. that's awful..didn't you sue him?
Dave: Aye.. but he's go'at better lawyers thun us.. also awe his government contracts ootrank oors.

Guillotine:.. going back.. why do you think Reed reacted the way he did.. it seems odd..
Dave: Ohw.. he wis fightin' a lot wæ Sue aboot FBR.. they hud lit 8 planet threatening crisis in a row.. tbh.. iyt wis a few years ago noo.. we talk wance a time oan somewans birthday, Sue ay askes mæ tæ drop by fur Christmas.. Ah never go.. and weirdly enough Reed ay feels bad when he sees mæ.. always has this 'I'm sorry' tone iyn his voice and asks mæ how Ah um.. sometimes.. jist somtimes.. Ah wonder if he didnæ even realize Ah hud been there fur 8 years an' wis an adult.. lit Ah wis still some Uni Grad.. hining aboot fur experience.. but him no thinkin' oan iyt.. lit iyt wis ma first year.

Guillotine: Weird.. do you think .. perhaps he was trying some *tough love* to kick you out of the nest and it blew up in everyone's face.. especially yours? I mean.. 8 years IS a long time.. He *may* have wanted you to go out on your own and get a proper contract with a firm like Rand, Trask, Stark, OsCorp.. even us here at Hallerom, we are small but we are plucky! hehe..or maybe even start your own firm.. Shaw Engineering!

Dave: oh flip Ah hate thyt name.. no ma name.. Ah like ma name but.. 'SXE' wid be better [smiles] sounds lit.. 'sexy' hehe

Dave: But.. oan the main mætter.. næ idea. If he hud jist sat mæ doon an' said his piece Ah wida respectit thyt!.. awe they nights watchin' FBR while they ur gettin' photos took bi the paparazzi.. ye think he coulda jist said.. an no been brutal wæ it.

Guillotine: I don't think Reed is a bad guy.. I just think he is human and made a unforeseeable mistake.

Hank walks through the door..

Dave: Heyyy.. ye auld ghost ye!

Hank: How's my least favorite engineer?? You here to fix their desk fan?

[both laughing]

The two pat each other on the shoulder.

Hank [whispers to Dave]: I was told there would be a third.. a female engineer?

FIN

-------------

Ares is gone for a week and a half!?

Day 1

The team are riding back from the German campsite to the mobile base in Braddock's old 70s Landrover Jeep.. from the back we hear:

Ares: bit cramped.. in fact.. just let me off at the next petrol station..
Guillotine: If you want snacks.. actually.. I think Lep ate them all..
Lep: Not my fault! Ah hud an exhausting night [winks at Alan]
Alan: iyt's lit a Turkish sauna in here.. offt.. the smell! Crack a windæ!

Ares: I have some *other* things to do, people to talk to.. just drop me off..

A few miles down the road the team pulls in to a layby and let Ares off.. then they drive away.

Ares: been a long time since I did this.. not as confident as I used to be..

Ares creates a lava portal.. which he then moves from the ground to a portal in the air in front of him..

Ares: Always was *somewhat random*.. hope it it at least gives me a planet with an atmosphere..

We see Ares come through the other side of the portal many burning cinders coming off his body in waves..

He looks up..

Ares: The moon Titan.. well could have been worse. The Ancient Ones used this for a base for a short time.. maybe they knew of certain powers that could help us?

Ares walks over to a old dusty pyramid like structure.

Ares: I remember Athena.. teaching us about these dreadful things.. they were used to recondition humans and try to improve their genes.. but they also had libraries worth of knowledge for the brainwashing..

Day 2

Ares: [to himself in this echoing empty room] OH THIS IS MIND NUMBING!.. really! their category system is backwards! If I want to look up.. 'cat'.. for example I have to find their equivalent to F for Feline..but no!! that's not what it brings up! It bring up birds that hunt FISH.. [grumbling] I am suitably less impressed with the Ancient Ones than before I had stepped foot in this building!

Ares: Muspelheim was EASY.. just keep bashing whomever had the info until they told you. OR use the weird helmet thing.. mind reader thingy [snaps fingers to remember].. Pan... Panthemile .. tron .. Panthelematron ?.. con ? Panthelematicon!

Day 3

Ares: Probably time to leave.. at least I found that tiny morsel of information.. I wonder *what* an infinity gem is exactly?

Ares: Time to try some old friends..ha! that's a joke! .. ohw I'm just me. okay.

Ares: opens a fire portal on the ground and moves it to in front of him in the air and walks through..

On the other side we see he is at the foot of mount Olympus.. he begins walking up the incline

Ares: Well.. 'home'.. that's a laugh.. I only spent 500 years guarding this place.. 500 years? I have no idea how long things are [funny voice asif someone else] : Hey Ares.. how long did you do *that* for? Ares: I dunno! I can't tell time *that* well! [funny voice] haha Ares can't tell time! Ares: You try living as long as I have and see if you get good at it.. spoiler: it gets worse the longer you live! Stupid human!

One of the guards is watching him walking up the incline..

Guard:.. He's talking to himself??.. Should we get reinforcements?
Senior Guard: No... I'll send some men down and see what he wants first.. Zeus said he was allowed back in.. as long as we watched him at all times..

Ares still walking up the hill..

Ares: I dunno what the fuss is about..well *I AM SORRY I HAVE BEEN BUSY* .. sorry your human life is so eventless you need to count time so diligently! I lived in Muspelheim for 10,000 years.. it's not like there was a lot of clocks just hanging on walls!

Guard: HALT BEFORE THE GUARDS OF OLYMPUS!

Ares: ohw I didn't see you there.. I'm here to ask Athena a few questions.. be a good lad and make me up a bunk in the guard quarters would you? I'll probably be staying the night..

Guard: Announce your name, status and planet of origin!
Ares: It's me.
Guard: We do not know anyone by the name of 'It's me'.. halt your progress!
Ares: Oh I guess it HAS been a long time..
ARES, GOD OF WAR, OLYMPUS.
Guard: you may pass. but as per the orders of Zeus you are to be WATCHED AT ALL TIMES..
Ares: [under breath] I need a new press officer for here.. [to the guard] Yes.. that's fine.

Day 4

Ares is with Athena in her study..

Ares: So.. what is an 'Infinity Gem'?
Athena: Somewhat of a myth I am afraid Ares.. no one has even heard of them let alone sighted one since before The Dark Elves were rumored to possess one ..
Ares: This man of Doom.. he is truly powerful.. he had me tied up and tortured me..
Athena: [gasp!] ... He sounds a *little* too powerful for my tastes.. wait.. didn't I hear of such a man, he wore strange armor.. ?
Ares: yes that sounds like him..
Athena: hmmm.. You have 5 options to counter him, 1. gain his trust as his servant then betray him.. that would take much time.
Ares: too long.. pass.
Athena: 2. use his own weapons against him.. by collecting his power then you would control it yes?
Ares: If he would let me close enough.. I would kill him.. because if he would let me close enough to steal his treasures.. then why not kill him?
Athena: I see.. 3. You have used the Forges before.. The one here on Olympus is owned by Hephaestus, Zeus has forbidden you to use ours.. however there are OTHER forges with similar power to create the most fantastical weapons.
Ares: I like that.. I'll put that *on the back burner* for now.
[both giggle]
Athena: 4. Challenge him to game of skill that you *know* you will win.. the loser forfeiting their life..
Ares: No good.. he plays ultra dirty, games need rules that are obeyed.. if can just *magic* his way out of something he will
Athena:Use the Ambrosia.. I know you still have some left.
Ares: Never!.. I admit I open it sometimes and smell it.. makes me feel good.. but Zeus has forbidden me any more portions for all eternity.. once I drink it.. it's gone.. even though I can see you have a full bottle sitting on your table over there. For me.. my little vial is my last portion. .. I never did thank you for slipping it into my pocket before my banishment.. sincerely thank you Lady Athena!

Athena nods in humility.

Day 5

Ares: Well that was more pleasant than expected.. the ale here is great! Next stop.. The Sanctuary of New York.

We see Ares exiting his portal with many many waves of cinders coming off him onto a New York sidewalk..

Ares: Bleecker Street... Bleecker Street..

After wandering around Manhattan for an hour it's mid-evening, Ares goes into a McDonalds, we watch him from outside through the window as he stands in the queue, orderly moving down as each patron receives their food & exits the queue.. we then see the cashier shrug their shoulders and hands at Ares and him walking out..outside he is mumbling to himself: Who doesn't accept gold coins?? Stupid earth paper money.

He looks up and on the corner in the slight distance is the Sanctorum..

Ares: Flippin' finally!

Minutes later inside..

Doctor Strange: I don't care Ares.. you were told you were NOT to return to this house or any other under the control of my elite.

Ares: I want to fight Doom.. in fact I am trying to kill him.

Doctor Strange: Oh.. well you were still told not to return.

Ares: Do you have change for a gold coin? I saw a rather appetising burger down the street which I would like to consume..

Doc: NO I DO NOT HAVE CHANGE FOR.. wait.. what kind of coins are those?
Ares: Oh.. they're Olympian coins..
Doc: Made in an Olympian forge?
Ares: I.. imagine so..

[silence]

Doc: Here's 5 dollars.. I expect change!
Ares: OH.. [they do the exchange]

Ares walks away.. [mumbles] tight fisted, smells weird..
Doc: I HEARD THAT..

10 minutes later Ares is back in the sanctum munching down on a Big Mac.. Doctor Strange is examining the coin..

Doc: Fascinating.. it's not *actually* gold
Ares: YE[munch]S I[munch]T IS[munch] (crumbs of food flying out of Ares full mouth)
Doc: Shut up. The harmonic resonance of this is remarkable!
Ares swallows his food: Bargain then eh? One measly burger!
Doc: Shut up. How many do you have.. we don't have any of these.. and with enough effort *perhaps* these could be used as sling rings..
Ares: I wouldn't advise trying to get into Olympus.. they are quite the *techy fellows of late*
Doc: It's not FOR Olympus.. it's for EVERYWHERE.
Ares: I can't help but feel short changed..
Doc: $20 for the rest..
Ares: ha.ha.
Doc: I was serious.
Ares: No thanks!
Doc: Then I guess our business is concluded, kindly leave the premises and do not return.

Ares: wait wait.. I got a whole coin purse of these.. 50 at least..
Doc: I'm listening..
Ares: What IF you do me a REASONABLE deal for 40 of these.. I need earth paper money, I need information on powerful artifacts that can kill Doom and I need a place to stay tonight!
Doc: hmm.. $350. okay. you can sleep on the couch at the bottom of the hall stairs. deal?
Ares: deal.

Much later in that night the two are sitting on the floor drinking whisky by the open fire talking about Doctor Strange's history with Doctor Doom, talking about fantastic artifacts of great power and where the best burgers in Manhattan are..

Ares: What's an 'Infinity Gem'?

[Due to this being the Hydra timeline.. this timeline is different.. even the gems themselves are different as one person did not travel back in time, but another and so on and so on.. back to the beginning.. a reverse domino effect, unbeknownst to everyone.. 6 gems were encrusted within meteors.. whether or not they were still present when they hit the chests of Firegirl and Leprechaun.. is uncertain]

Doc: They say.. the ubiquitous 'they'.. say it is a source of unimaginable power, not just the mear power of a reality warper.. no.. they grant the power of reality *building* to change the most primal basic laws of the universe, not merely warp those laws, but 'reshuffle' the deck in any way the holder wishes.

Ares: So.. and I realize I'm going to fail at this miserably, not to understate it.. pretty powerful then?

Doc: Yes. immeasurably so.

Ares: How do I get one?

Doc: I'll give you that your last response was aware of the idiotic nature of its existence.. but..

Ares: Wait wait.. let me rephrase that .. cough [clears throat].. Where was it that YOU heard about the gem and did it mention a location for said gem?

Doc: Better. .. I read about it in the Ancient books.. and no it just talked about the Dark Elves having one and that there were more.

Ares: Shame.

Doc: [sarcastically] Indeed.

Ares: Any other ideas?

Doc: You could always go and ask Surtur for help!

[both laugh] HAHAH

Ares: Good one!

Day 6

Ares wakes up on Doctor Strange's couch..

Ares: Ohw my side so stiff!

Doc: I made you tea..

Doc hands Ares a tray with tea and strawberry jam crumpets..

Ares: thank you, much appreciated.

Doc: You know Doom will probably kill you.. I didn't want our last interaction together to be a cruel one.

Ares is eating and drinking the tea.. his eyes go up to Doc but back down without saying a word..

Ares thinks: wow .. that sounded pretty sad.

Ares gets ready to leave.. once standing by the door, Doc from behind says to him ..

Doc: Make sure you send word if you succeed, [kindly] take care Ares!.. and don't come back here.

Ares nods slowly and walks out of the door..

Ares thinks: MAN.. you get drunk ONCE and smash up his place.. and he's 'cold for life'.

Ares thinks: I need to call in that favor from Magneto..

at a public pay phone..

Ares: SO NOW IT TAKES COINS!.. stupid earth.. too many needless complexities. I know I said I wasn't going to steal but this thing is driving me crazy..

Ares punches the payphone.. the little box breaks open but is almost empty, only one quarter is inside..

Ares: Ah!

using the same quarter over and over.. Ares double clicks the switchhook..

Phone: Hello, Operator.
Ares:Hi! I am looking for a Erik Lehnsherr, upstate New York.. he owns a few nightclubs.
PO: I have 5 listings.. would you like the most current?
Ares: Better run through them all..
PO: NYC, 840 Fifth Avenue .. 555-9722-516
Boston, 107 Stuart Street.. 557-9722-616
Los Angeles, 6500 Hollywood Blvd.. 559-9722-618
Sir, these numbers are peculiar.. they must be private numbers.
Ares: Oh I can hear the pips.. NYC one was fine thanks!
PO: Glad to hel..
[deadline]

Moments later..

Ares: So.. Emma .. tell 'Erik' to email me at Ares@rockhardalpha.mail .. he will know what it's about.
Ohw!.. well.. I'm sure we could meet up sometime, my mind is a bit focused on killing Doom. yes.. of course.

Day 7

Ares wakes up still holding the phone in the phonebox.. he gets a start and tries to kill the pay phone box with the receiver like it was a knife..

Ares: Right need some breakfast! .. wait.. Where's my horse helmet?.. everything else seems to be here.. I had that helmet.. I dunno how many years.. thousands.. since I was guard in Olympus.. [pauses]
and suddenly I lost the will to care.. I mean I just realized.. it's for brushing horses.. I don't even ride a flipping horse! I haven't ridden a horse since.. Olympus. If I wasn't otherwise robbed..probably stole by some drunk guy.. the story he will have to tell eh? [smiles]

We see Ares fall asleep at a table in McDonalds eating his sixth burger..

Day 8

Ares slowly rouses ..

Ares: Oh wow.. I NEED to get a move on! and I am out of ideas.. Only one thing for it.. Muspelheim!

Day 9

Ares emerges from one of his fire portals with waves of cinders falling off him..

Ares: few false starts.. I *did not* mean to get stuck back on Titan.. I wonder what that weird grave looking thing was.. now.. where is that screaming dude?

[Ares had felt guilty when telling Alan and Lep about the screaming dude on fire.. and made it seem like his fire had stopped or he had died.. this was misleading.. it never stopped]

Ares walks around listening carefully..

Ares: OH! there he is!.. that means the hole is.. over there by those big rocks!

As Ares drops down he feels.. the presence of others watching him.. he knows what this is.. the Fire Demons

Ares: Yes yes.. I'm back no n..

a Fire Demon rushes him. and he promptly smashes it's head in with a mace
Ares: as I was saying.. no need to welcome me!
Ares is like a Tiger walking within a wide circle.. Jackals slowly walking his perimeter

Ares: DON'T WORRY.. I'm not here to 'hurt' your master..

As Ares approaches where Surtur is.. the Fire Demons scatter, never breaking his perimeter.

Surtur: The GALL of *some* people.. are you here to topple me boy?? Good Luck with that! HAHAH

Surtur lifts his massive sword to his shoulder.

Ares is alarmed but says..

Ares: I am to kill the one known as Doom, Surtur.. I need access to the forge here.. to make a weapon of incredible power!

Surtur: You disgust me!

[Surtur means this because he thinks Ares has become weak.. However, Ares assumes it is because he had the cheek to return and ask for something]

[Continues in Epi#4 from this point]
--
FIN
--

Euro-Avengers #6 Fanfic
"BOSS FIGHT!"

Somewhere in upstate New York in an interrogation room at the Avenger's Compound..

Tony Stark and Steve Rogers are staring at Alan who is handcuffed with some high-tech looking 'jewelry' sitting behind a desk.. Peter is pacing around Alan.. Sharon Carter is questioning Alan..

Sharon: What are your abilities?
Alan: Ah huv an impressive..
Sharon: THAT'S ENOUGH OF THAT!
Sharon: What are your abilities?
Alan: Ah like takin' romantic walks oan the beach ayt sunset wæ the saun atween ma toes.. somewhere ho't but no too ho't.. [smiles]
Sharon: What are your abilities?
Alan: Same ays him.. Ah should imagine..
Sharon: What are your abilities??
Alan: Super-Strength, Super-Agility.. ma healin' regeneration works differently thun his.. it's slower but kin heal mare o'er time, comes back even stronger thun original.. Ah huv Bio-Webbing wæ venom iyn iyt..
Peter: Wait.. Bio-Webbing? none of the clones had that.. I'm the only one.
Alan: Aye.. well.. Ah huv tæ noo eh?
Sharon: I should probably write this up. gentlemen. [Sharon leaves]

Tony: I should probably go too.. I'm too expensive a babysitter for the Avengers. you can't afford me.
Steve: Laters, Tony.

Alan sits in silence staring at Peter..

Peter[angry/upset]: You are NOT me.. stop staring at me.
Steve: Don't let him bug you out Pete.. for all his roar, he's just a little kitten.
Alan [to Cap]: Ye smell funny.. lit rotten eggs oar somthin'.
Pete: C'mon.. I must have a better sense of humor than that.. that's not even funny.
Alan [to Peter]: wit e'er happens atween uys.. watch thyt wan. He's no right.
Steve: I don't have to listen to your empty allegations on either my personality or hygiene.. we can pluck you out of cold storage whenever we like.. and there's not a thing you can do about it.
Alan: Really?? Colour mæ skeptical..
Steve: We have you trapped.
Alan: Hehe.. naw ye huvnæ!

Alan snaps the cuffs breaking one of his wrists in the process, but he doesn't skip a beat.. bouncing off the walls as if he wasn't hurt at all.

Alan thinks: Aye iyt's painful.. but compared tæ ma migraines iyt's only ticklin' mæ! hehe

He webs up Cap first with an astonishing amount of webbing, but Peter webs him and slams Alan into the wall, Alan webs Peters head fully..1 second later.. Peter rips the webbing off and feels dizzy with Widow-Spiders venom.. Peter looks around and Alan is, gone.

Outside about 5 miles away.. Widow-Spider is catching up with the team at the mobile base..
..

WS: Aye right enough.. somethin' weirds goin' oan
Cap: Thank you for trusting me WS.. I was concerned JJ just had me spooked.
WS: Don't git mæ wrang.. ma spider sense never went aff.. flip Ah wida ripped their heeds aff iyf iyt did!.. something weird in Steve Rogers eyes.. Ah dunno lit they wer the wrang colour oar somthin.. somthin.
Lep: So wit dæ we dæ?
WS: Ah dunno.. but we should tell a few folk, if somthin's messin' wæ the timeline.. we go'at tæ dæ somhin. An' tæ be frank an' francine*.. Roger Ramjet's no the ghostbuster tæ call.

*[thumbs behind himself towards the compound]

Adam: This .. is starting to get boring. When do we kill Doom?
WS: Haud yur horses there disco cowboy.. Ah'm as keen ays anyfolk tæ see him deed, but Lep's been feelin' weird fur days an' Cap says we might be dæn awe thys fur nothin' iyf we git wiped oot in a time reset.

Guillotine: Hmm.. Captain England, Widow-Spider go to speak to J.J. at Division 3.. Lep, Firegirl Follow Tony Stark, but be discreet.. Ares and new friends..

Ares interrupts: Wait.. I *think* I know who to tell about an alteration in the timeline..
Magneto: Want some company?
Ares: Gladly.

Adam [to Guillotine]: Me?

Guillotine: I have something for you.. you will enjoy [sleek smile].. a force known as Hydra has been suppressing humans globally, I heard rumors French Guiana was invaded.. please liberate them.

Adam: Sounds.. not boring. thank you.

Everyone leaves for their respective jobs and Peregrine says:

You and I again old friend? [smiles]

Guillotine [deadpan]: We need to talk to Deadpool.
Peri: wow.

Four hours later near Division 3 in Sweden.. we see Captain England flying in a near straight line as Widow-Spider has attached a webline to his back and is flying along behind him.

WS: slow doon! wow.. iyt's been four ho'urs o' ye draggin' mæ across th' sky!

Captain England stops and hovers above a small forest, Widow-Spider dangles below. Widow-Spider rights himself by hanging upside down and putting his feet to his web.

Cap: What's up?
WS: Listen.. Ah jist wa'nt tæ say somthin'.. mate Ah riȝht appreciate ye caring enough tæ dæ wit ye did.
Cap: It's nothing, but being considerate.
WS: Naw.. withoot bein' awe touchy feely.. oar askin' ye oot oan a date.. Ah dæ mate. Ah appreciate iyt.
Cap:hehe.. Just glad to be on the right team. [smiles]

Cap: Cool to go..?
WS: Aye.. Ah suppose hehe

Ares and Magneto are in a Compton apartment, Ares is visiting an old friend, a Inhuman by the name of 'Zero'.. Zero can stop time and sense approaching time shifts..

Ares: So what on earth are we meant to do??
Zero: There is a lot of talk 'bout an Inhuman called Ulysses.. they say he can see the future..
Ares: Tosh!
Magneto: I have heard of that one.. your Queen is quite adamant about him. I have often wondered in recent times if there *could* be peace between Inhumans and Mutants.. If this 'Ulysses' foresaw how this could be possible, I would like to hear this.
Ares: Only those who have been to the future can see a possible outcome..anyhow.. have you felt any shifts?
Zero: no man.. but I had a weird feeling the other day.. a thought struck me and I was stunned for a full 30 seconds. If I did not exist in another timeline and existed here, I would not feel the first shift.
Magneto: Not to be rude.. but how do you know you can feel time shifts at all?
Ares thinks: Or you were stoned.
Zero: I have spent some time around reality warpers.. I know what it feels like, so I stop time and fix things.
Ares: Zero would you join us.. later I mean, my friends are going to want to talk to you.
Zero: I guess Ares.. but you know I'm no fighter.. but just watch me run away! [smiles] haha
Ares: haha
Magneto is a little disgruntled/unimpressed.
Magneto: I have a few things to do.. I'll meet back up with you later Ares.
Ares: Okay.

:This intersects with some of Magneto's portion of Civil War II:

Sometime later Lep and Firegirl track Iron Man to Manhattan while they are inside an invisibility bubble they are astonished when they see The Celestial Destructor..

The Avengers, The X-Men, The Inhumans.. are in the midst of battle.. all going up against this astonishing threat..

Firegirl: We *must* help them!
Lep: No way!.. we were told to track Tony. See? *this* is why you don't get missions.. [points; arm outstretched] dat t'ing looks SERIOUS..

Firegirl flies outside the bubble trying to save Miles Morales as a huge slab of granite squashes him flat with blood seeping out the side.. then another slab cuts Firegirl in half ..Lep resets time. Firegirl does this again.. Lep resets time.. again.. then Lep holds Firegirl fast with a forcefield inside a separate bubble..

Lep [cross eyebrows] : STAY HERE!

Lep flys down, puts a forcefield on Miles.. [the slab hits him but he is protected]
looks up and sees: Doctor Strange and his monks performing a rite.
Lep thinks: a loado' weirdo priests... they'll do nothin' but turn some folk vegan. .. OK.

Lep: tyme tæ show thys big icelolly shaped Transforme'r whos da boss!..
Lep : OOOOHWWWW HAM-E.. KAM-I HOOOO

Lep bursts into fire and the fire starts eating its way through every enemy nearby, including the Celestial Destructor .. who dissolves in flames..

Firegirl: THAT WAS.. so COOL! How did you know of those words?
Lep: What.. y'never watch the ol' dballz? Great cartoon.. much recommended!

Lep and Firegirl remain in a bubble, while the rest of the heroes slowly realize that Celestial Destructor is gone..

The next evening at Stark Tower Lep and Firegirl still inside the bubble watch Tony Stark through a window, entertaining many many of the Avengers, X-Men and Inhumans with a celebration party.

Queen Medusa of the Inhumans seems to be escorting everyone into a room..Lep phases herself and Firegirl through the glass and towards the room..in the room they see a man they do not know.. his name is Ulysses, he's telling them.. how he discovered being an Inhuman, the visions he saw because of that..

Meanwhile Guillotine and Peregrine changing a flat tyre on a beat up motorcycle with Deadpool standing behind them..

Deadpool: yeeaahh just right there!.. don't scratch the paint work!
Guillotine: Hmph! .. this better be worth it!
Deadpool 2: Are you french?.. that accent sure is .. SeXi! Y'know I'm recently separated.. as recently as 2 hours ago..
Guillotine: dream on..
Deadpool box 3: I loved that 90s show.. so apt! She will be in your dreams tonight Wade..
Guillotine: Y'know we can hear you saying things under your breath..
Deadpool box 4: No she can't .. she's *llyyyiingg*

Peri: Aaand done!
Gil: Make with the info Wade.. we all heard the rumors of your craziness.. that you have extra perception.. is Captain America a Hydra Agent?
Deadpool: Y'know French Iron LadyMan.. unless I do a crossover with him, I wouldn't know that..also it's extra perception, not time travel! What I *can* tell you is; Cosmic Cube = crazy powerful!' You do NOT want one of those things becoming sentient.
Gil: no duh. [swearing in french]
Peri: What CAN you tell us?
Deadpool box 5: That the statue of liberty is HAWT.. I definitely dig french chicks!
Deadpool box 6: No.. don't say that she will never sleep with you if you say that!

Guillotine punches the motorcycle causing the axle to bend..

Deadpool: Awww.. [sad] .. okay mean French Iron LadyMan.. I heard Division 3 had a secret base in Sweden..
Peri Interrupts: .. yes we already know..
Deadpool: BUT did you know that David Haller is the boss now?
Gil: yes.
Deadpool: AND that's he's a got a super computer called 'The Tide' that can predict.. ANYTHING..
Gil:.. actually thats some good info. Thanks Wade.
Deadpool: now.. fix my bike!!

Gil bends the axle back into place..

Gil: Sorry.. I was getting to wound up with you trying to bang on to me.. I have a date with Hank Pym next week.. bit nervous
Deadpool: WHOA.. if your dating Hank Pym.. not interested in anyone who is interested in that coffin dodger. .. [at Peregrine] say 'wings' care to give a fella a lift up to the top of that building over there.. I feel a moody shot coming on..
Peri: Sure.

Later as Peri and Gil enter the Division 3 lobby in Sweden, an agent approaches them..

Agent: Sorry Ma'am.. but you're not allowed in here right now..
Gil: we have clearance.. [shows her ID card]
Agent: I know.. but fo..
David Haller interrupts: I'll take it from here Geoff.

David: Hi Jeannine.. listen there's been an *incident*..
Gil: [shouty french swearing] What KIND of INCIDENT?
David: Well.. one of my colleagues decided it would be a good idea to 'arrest' Widow-Spider.. Cap is down in the cafeteria.. after endlessly petitioning for Alan's freedom.. he needed some food.. finally.
Gil: WHAT HAPPENED?
David: Well.. [in a hushed voice] we have this.. computer..
Peri: We know.. supercomputer called 'The Tide' can predict anything. go on.
David: OH.. who told you?
Gil: Deadpool.
David: Right. .. so.. anyway.. The Tide predicted there was 61% chance that Lep was going alter our universe's tachyon signature fundamentally. The Tide made a suggestion that if we had Alan as a bargaining chip.. Lep was less likely to do this. Kerry.. great with the action, not great with the thinking, arrested him..well I say she 'arrested him' [slowing down in speech]..

David somberly: he ripped her head off several times.. I reset time each time.. few agents too.. [nods] wow.. your teammate is one serious guy when says he'll rip someone's head off.. that's not just a figure of speech or him expressing how he feels.. he will *actually and literally* rip their head off...

Gil: Hand Alan over. now.
David: *I'm* not the issue.. Kerry and a few .. talented agents.. have banded together, we are trying to be diplomatic about the situation.
Gil: *You know, I can* message Lep and have her come here.
David struck with terror: Oh flip no. Erm lets not be too hasty.. no one *needs* to die. Kerry is an old friend of mine.. she is just doing what she thinks is best for us all.. which is very in her character.
Gil: they actually came here to speak to J.J. .. did they accomplish that task?
David: No... Kerry had been trying to find Widow-Spider's location for a while.. so when he just walked in the building..

Gil: Riiiiight.
Gil thinks: There's something he's not telling us.. I think he's on the level about this Kerry person.. but something else is off.

David starts to escort Gil and Peri to the lifts.. they are going to cafeteria to meet up with Cap.

Meanwhile Adam Warlock is levitating Hydra agents and vehicles in French Guiana then making them explode, we see him hovering above the jungle.

Ares, Zero and Magneto meet up outside the HellFire Club in Boston.

Widow-Spider is smashing his cell door in Division 3 while Kerry looks on with alarm at Widow-Spider's increasing anger.

Kerry: Can *someone* warp his view to make him *at least* a little terrified?
Agent: We tried ma'am.. he didn't even flinch.

Kerry rubs her neck in anxiety, asif~ deep in her subconscious remembering having her head torn off.

Gil texts Lep under the table while she is at the cafeteria:

Gil: Div3. come NOW!. Alan in trouble.

In NYC Leps phone vibrates..
Lep: ohw a text! wonder iyf Alan's thinkin' aboot mæ!
(hearts in her eyes)

Lep is floating reading the text.

Lep :WHAT??

A flash and Firegirl and Lep are outside Div3 in Sweden.

Gil looks up from her phone, still in the cafeteria..

Gil: If The Admiral can't handle his staff.. we have ways of dealing. ohw get ready Cap.. we should be out of here in under 30mins.

They all stand and head towards the elevator. While ascending part of the building becomes ripped away .. Lep has done this with telekinesis, however the trio look up to see a 100 foot tall Lep.

Lep: WER'S ME MAN???

David Haller floats up in front of Lep..
David: Now Lep.. we let you go.. remember to try and stay .. calm.

Lep: (quietly) wer's me man?.. OAR AH WILL SINK YUR BATTLESHIP YE JAKEY!
David: yes.. we have him here..if you will kindly..
Lep interrupts: get him now!
David: my pleasure.

David spends the next five mins getting Widow-Spider.. with Kerry's rogue agents trying to bend his mind, however they are no match for.. 'Legion'.

David floats up with Alan in toe..

Alan: flippin finally!! Hullo ma darlin'.. wow..you look smashin.. chest a'naw.
Lep: ma love.. no the noo!. .. mibe later.. iyn private.
Lep: ays fur ye! Don't touch ma man again.. he iys tæ bi respeciti't ..bi you an' awe yur crew.. as a member an' no a plaything! wite'er yur plans wur.
David (calm therapist voice) : I hear you. I respect what you are saying.
------
The rest intersects with Civil War II.

18 months later.. on the moon Titan.
----

Doom throws the coin at Lep..
Doom: You should get what you deserve!
Mid-air.. the coin shines ultra bright..

At that moment Lep and most of the team vanish.. Lep, Widow-Spider, Guillotine, Peregrine, Captain England are teleported to JJ's cell in Division 3..

JJ: Well isn't this a turn up for the books??.. you here to free me too? I can't say I'm surprised.. you all need more laughter in your lives..

JJ: Y'know I *was* serious about 'turning over a new leaf'.. I *may* even have helped you with your 'Doom' problem.. which I can see 'got out of hand'.. hahaha

Widow-Spider embarrassed: Shut iyt!

Back upon the moon Titan, Adam has transmuted the energy from the coin thrown at him into a very powerful blast that cracks each plate of Doom's armor..

Doom: NOOOO

Doom pulls out a Sovereign artifact and begins speaking in an ancient language .. then says: SLEEP NOW O ANCIENT POWER! Adam falls to the ground asleep.

Magneto: You have no macguffin for me.

Magneto begins tearing Titan apart by causing the liquid metal core to spike, Magneto causes spikes to go through Doom..

Doom breathless: noo.. noo..

Ares sends an axe to cut off Dooms head as a final blow but as he does Magneto screams : NOOO

The duo see Dooms main amulet reconstitute him and empower him ..

Magneto: He needs to be killed in a special place that his amulet doesn't work.. you just made him even more powerful!

Ares: Macguffin?

Magneto: Still not mine..but yes, his own personal one.

Doom: HAHAH.. stupid. I have seen your power Magneto.. I too can manipulate metal.. but I need to be near to do so.. and you have given me that ability! HAHA

Doom puts his hand to the ground. The liquid metal swirls up around him.. Magneto tries to control it, but he cannot, Doom has control of this metal now.. Doom spikes it into Magneto and holds fast until Magneto passes out..

Ares: So me next?.. come at me!

Doom: Don't tempt me.. boy!

Ares: I only let one person call me that. And that person is not you.

Doom rushes at Ares and knocks him over to the ground while simultaneously two of Ares swords cross strike Doom in the back.. making an X through his torso.. but Doom is still going..

Doc Doom is leaning over Ares.. Ares locked hands on Dooms wrists as Doom pushes harder with strange black energy around his hands..

Ares grunts out: No. .. no [Doom is making progress]... no. NOOOO [Ares beings speaking a strange language] {@~#=&^%*;( .... ?/@/{)*&%$"! .. ?:{+]'/?@}#..SURTUR!!'

Doom freezes as he realizes Ares just summoned Surtur..
Ares stares into Doom's eyes: Oh you are for it now.. boy! haha

a very tiny spark comes out of a nearby rock.. and hits the ground.. a small pool of fire about the size of a hand palm appears where the spark fell.. the fire spreads slightly and out of the fire Surtur grows.. 3ft .. no 6 foot.. 20 foot.. 70 foot... bigger and bigger..

Surtur: relinquish the chaos you impose upon my apprentice.
Doom who has been a disciple of Surtur for many years.. is a bit heartbroken to hear Surtur grant such an honour on.. a 'muscular yapping dog' such as Ares ..
Doom: YOU.. OF ALL PEOPLE.. ARE TELLING *ME* TO STOP *MY* CHAOS??
Surtur: Today.. you will know *hate*.

The battle begins..

Surtur swings his massive sword down upon Doom, which Doom stops overhead with continuous energy blast from both hands.. Surtur turns his head over his shoulder..
Surtur: GO BOY.. GO NOW.. escape while you can!

Ares picks up Magneto under one arm and Adam Warlock in the other.. he sees Surtur has opened a fire portal to Muspelheim and he jumps through it to safety..

On the other side.. countless fire demons amasse aiming themselves at the portal.. Ares still holding Magneto and Adam.. roll-dodges from their path as they all try to fit through the portal.. a pile of arms appear as they try to fit through portal which is cutting parts off.. round the back of portal Ares sits with a still unconscious Adam and Magneto ..

Ares: What the flip was that all about?? how could he have such power?.. where did the team go??.. Surtur's *probably* cutting Doom's head off about.. [hears a thwack!] now. .. Oh I forgot to say about that stupid amulet!.. ohw well.. knowing Surtur he'll likely enjoy killing Doom over and ov-[Thwack!]-er.. yes.

Ares picks up Adam and Magneto and heads toward the 'Midgard Black Portal'.. 30 minutes later..

Ares [talking to himself]: Hate this portal.. I mean does it really need blood to enter.. gross.. wow listen to me.. I sound like a human.. maybe Surtur was right.. I AM turning into a whoose.

Ares plops Adam and Magneto on the ground..

Ares: I hope Guillotine DVR'd 'Secret Gambler' .. missed it last week.. or maybe find it online.

Ares thinks: .. AH.. I forgot ..that's why!.. to stop Surtur coming to Midgard because he doesn't have blood! The summoning thing.. yes.. wow I forgot about that!.. must remember and pick up my chain from Dooms mansion while he and Surtur are.. busy hehe

Ares cuts his hand open and drips some blood on the weirdly shaped stand.. the portal opens, Ares picks up his passengers and goes through the portal..

two days later, the group are sitting round the campfire talking about the last year and a half..

Lep: dat wis nuts!
Gil: oui.. fou dans la masion!
Lep: giant transformer guy in NYC..
Gil: I broke up with Hank..
Ares: HAHA what about when Surtur saved the day? HAHA
team: .. .. what?
Ares embarrassed: I mean.. erm.. yeah totally nuts.. too much ale or something .. I need a lie down.

Gil: I really need Dave Shaw to come and look at my suit.. it's in quite a state. [sad face]
Firegirl: I suppose.. we won.. of sorts.
WS: it's no o'er.. no efter awe we heard n' thyt.

Later that night, Lep and Alan are away from the group on a hilltop watching the stars together..

Lep: dis iys beautiful..
Alan [in English]: tomorrow will be a new day.

The next day back at Hallerom Industries..
BANG! an arm servo has a slight explosion and has smoke coming out of it..

Gil: Dave I told you.. kindly it's not working.
Dave: so we need a new wan? maaan.. riȝht.

Lep bursts in..

Lep: Ah don't feel well.. Ah huv bin feelin' nauseous fur da last h'our
Lep can barely stand up, Gil supports her but even with that she is sliding down Gil's side.

Lep: GET EVERYONE HERE NOW!!!

20 mins later everyone* is surrounding Lep, who is laying on the floor..

*(Everyone = Captain England, Gil, Peri, Firegirl, Ares, Widow-Spider, Zero, Dave Shaw)

Lep: Alan.. pick mæ up ma darlin'.. it's stærtin'.
Alan: wits stærtin'??
Lep: Ah love ye.. but kindly shut up an' do iyt now!

Alan holds Lep up..

Lep: Kobik is reversin' time.. so we'r goiny git wiped..but no. Ah'm no lettin thyt happan! need tæ wait tæ da last second tæ reserve me strength..

Lep: hold.
Lep: hold.
Lep: hoooold.

Lep: NOWWW

Lep generates a (green transparent) reality bubble to protect the team from the reversal of the timeline..
Sweat POURING down Lep's face as she recalculates all potentials and fits in this mini bubble reality to the original 616 timeline.

seconds are slowed to hours.. the group have grabbed shoulders with Lep, they are in a circle, they can all see her face in the agony of impossible concentration. Lep is crying as in the back of what's left of her mind she thinks she is going to let everyone die.. she is sweating like someone turned on a tap to number 1 marker on the fawcett.

Firegirl: I'm afraid.. [voice shaking]
Gil: Be still girl.
Firegirl: Should I be here? I don't want to die.. but am I worthy?..
Lep: Yur pært o' da team; meteor sisters remember? [she winks, causing a tear to roll down her cheek]

Lep: GRRughGH huuehhGR [concentration and fear in Leps eyes]

suddenly..the torrent begins to ease off..

As the torrent outside passes.. we see a miniature JJ, inside the pocket of Braddock's Cap suit, poke his head out to have a look.

As the bubble dissipates, the team see they are in NYC central park.. Lep collapses.. Alan grabs her..

Alan: come oan ma love.. ye kin dæ iyt few mare h'ours n we kin git ye rest'yt.
Lep: don't feel good..
Alan :WATER NOW!!!!.. an' a nip o whisky!
Ares: I know a place ..
Alan: WATER FIRST!!
Peregrine goes over to a fountain..
Peri: looks disgusting.. but it will work
Alan: geez iyt!

Peregrine scoops up a large portion of water with his wing.. Alan skims to top into Lep's mouth.. Lep coughs..
Alan: ye wer sweatin buckets ma love.. drink. aye its gross.. but næwan'll think any the less o'ye oan account o'ye saven their lives..
Lep sips some from Alan's hand..

Alan:Siobhan .. you okay?
Lep: ye big eejit.
Alan: aye she's goiny bi OK.

SUBBOX:

Welcome to Universe 618!
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Reality-Avengers (Euro-Avengers) Tri-Annual [Fanfic] : Part One

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This fanfic comic should be rated R21 in the USA. And is only intended for those over the age of 21 (except in countries such as Scotland or Cambodia where the legal age of adulthood is 16 or above). Will contain graphical descriptions of erotica and violence. You have been warned.

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Reality-Avengers (Euro-Avengers) Tri-Annual [Fanfic]

[Reality - 618]

[This is the post-bronze age of the 616 reality.. set in the 1990s.. all the heroes and villains you know but during that time. 618 is the backup.. the template.. the hard storage. There are 618 versions of our team here.. but no Alan McKay due to this being pre-clone saga, no Lep due to Magus collecting the 'soul gems', no Dave Shaw in NY as an engineer as here he was only 15 years old.]

Ares asks a passer by.. where can I find an internet cafe.. I need to watch the last series of Secret Gambler!

Passer by: What. on. Earth. is an internet??

Ares whispers: this must be the 1990s..

Ares grabs Peri: Oh man this is bad.. really really bad.. I need my internet!!

Gil: relax.. you still have TV!.. first season of Friends..
Ares: I suppose..
Gil: but wait.. don't yous prefer the second series because yous can see their nipples? I seen yous watching and smiling because of that
Ares: nooooo... I forgot about that in the first season [sad face]
Gil: What's the big deal? it's just girls.. I mean I've lived with yous now for a while.. you've all seen me going about in the mobile base in nothing but a wet towel.. and Lep.. everyones seen her naked..
Lep: Hau!.. naw wait.. aye Ah dæ enjoy dat :)
Alan grunts disapprovingly.
Lep laughs: prude!
Team of guys: but it's not the same.. they are famous girls..
Peri: I don't know what the fuss is about.. I'm a frenchman.. if I want female company I'll pick up a woman.. but I'm married.. I'M MARRIED!?

SHOCKED..Peri realizes he left his wife in the last reality.

Alan: baywatch?
Zero: Yeah baywatch is.. goooood.

Gil to Peri: do not worry.. we will find her here [smiles reassuringly]

The team are discussing the pros and cons of living in the 1990s

Alan: How ye feelin' ma love?
Lep: little better aye.. t'anks.. [Lep is standing and tries to move towards Alan but wobbles, Alan catches her]
Lep: maybe NOT as much as Ah t'hot..
Alan to group: we need tæ git her awæy fæ here.. git her rest'yt..
Ares: I know a bar..

[ we flash back to:
Ares and Deadpool getting blind drunk in a bar.
Arguing about mexican food outside the Sanctum Sanctorum on Bleecker Street.
Wade and Ares breaking into the Sanctum to find 'a magical item that will make the *perfect mexican food* that will convince Ares mexican food is excelente .
The two accidentally smashing the place as they so drunk, we see Wong catching them and giving them a convincing beating, but with little to no resistance from them.
We see Ares telling Wade 'I like greek food, which IS spicy but only a little spicy to improve the flavor'
We see Wade and Ares standing outside a Taco Bell drive through with much much munchies tucking in, then outside a greek place similarly with much much munchies tucking in.
Then behind a dumpster taking turns vomiting.
Then back at the bar getting blind drunk again]

Ares: It's the BSB.. Bleecker Street Bar.. cool hangout place..
Alan: wi mær need a hotel mate..
Ares: Don't know any.. I normally sleep in a phonebox or ask a friend.. don't usually have earth money..
Gil: [shouty french swearing] we don't have money!! everything is online back home..
Ares: I still have some of that earth paper money Doctor Strange gave me..
Gil: How much?

[Ares fumbles through the remaining paper money.. $180.. which means he spent $170 on burgers.. and perhaps beer/ale.]

Ares: $180
Cap: wait.. I'm pretty rich myself.. and I should exist here.. we could get some money from past me..
Gil: OHW bien merci! merci beaucoup!
Cap: it'll take a day or so I should imagine.. need to contact me.. which won't be easy.. the early 90s were a merry-go-round of me getting captured.. I have no idea if this is during one of those periods..
Alan pressing the group: Lep!
Peri: oui.. we will get her rested first and foremost..

[Two hours later, the group have found a, now run down, but in-its-day beautiful art-deco hotel, Lep is resting on the bed, while Cap is trying to get an international line.. Ares and Zero have elected to go to the BSB, Dave Shaw is reading through old newspapers the group found in a closet, Firegirl is tending to Lep with a damp cold wash cloth while Alan brings endless glasses of water, which Lep consumes in two gulps, Gil and Peri are in the corner whispering in French]

Cap to group: I forgot how much of a pain this is.. how ever did people manage this way in the 90s?!
Cap: Hello? hello?
Phone: One more minute sir.. we are trying to put you through. thank you for your patience.
Cap to group: I haven't even got the local line in England yet.. this is crazy!
Phone: putting you through to the local exchange now sir, please hold.
Cap to group: finally! this is costing $3 a minute, its already been 15 minutes so.. $45? crazy! where is Skype when you need it??
Phone: Hello sir, this is the London exchange how may I direct your call?
Cap: I am looking to get a line through to Braddock Manor, Essex.. number 01268.. no wait.. 0268-197-616..
Phone: putting you through now sir..
Phone ringing..
Jeeves: Hello, how may I assist your call?
Cap: Jeeves?? excellent!
Cap to group: .. it's my holographic butler Jeeves.. he will get this sorted in no time..
Cap to Jeeves:It's me.. Brian.. Captain Britain .. I am stuck in NYC and need some money.. a lot of money..
Jeeves: I don't know what prank you are playing sir, but it is NOT amusing!
Cap [whispering]: Listen here you jumped up collection of circuits.. I know your secret that you are sentient.. and that you killed my parents.. you will wire me all the money I ask for and do everything I say or will expose you to S.T.R.I.K.E...
Jeeves taken aback: Ah!.. it seems you have a point. I am sure we can agree to some amicability. How much would you like sent to you?
Cap: £200,000.. no.. in dollars..around $400,000
Jeeves: I will get this arranged posthaste.. you should have it within 2 days..
Cap: good. send it cash to the Marquis Hotel NYC, Room 618, under the name Jeannine Sauvage.
Jeeves: as you wish sir.

[Cap hangs up the phone]

Cap: 2 days.. not great but not bad.. pretty pleased how that went, all things considered..
Alan: good job Cap!.. noo miby Ah should check iyn wæ Petey-boy.. gee him a heeds up aboot yon Jackal?
Gil: I don't think we should be messing with the timeline here..
Peri: I agree.. Guillotine and I were talking, I do not wish to disturb my wife here.. she is not the same person, even though I would dearly like to see her..

[A dark shadowy figure within a dark room is watching them through a portal.. listening..]

Mysterious figure: Not yet Alan McKay..your time will come to save the day.

Meanwhile at the BSB..
Ares [ singing ] : And its no nay never.. no never no moreeee
Zero [ singing ] : And its no nay never.. no never no moreeee

[both are very drunk]

In the corner of the bar is a man dressed on all black with black eyes watching them.. it is JJ. they have not noticed him.

JJ thinks : no way am I getting stuck in this hokey reality.. I mean *I could* just change it into *my* reality and have done with it.. but I am sure once Lep recovers she would just do *something* to mess it up.. besides I am 'turning over a new leaf'.. I intend to be beneficent.. what a joke that is! crippling myself out of fear of death.. but I do respect Lep's power, that was no easy task when she followed me into that second pocket dimension*.. impressive.. no, this is the horse to back and winning team.. I just need to find a way to convince them to give me a slot.

[*Euro-Avengers Epi #3 ]

[Meanwhile, Dave Shaw is sitting alone in the hotel cafeteria, pouring hot noodle broth back into the bowl with his spoon]

Dave thinks: Haud oan a minute! Ah huv advanced knowledge o' the future tech.. miby Ah could go tæ Reed an' get awe o' us .. hame.. bit hame doesnæ exist.. flip! there must bæ an'oer reality mær closer tæ oors! aye defo..

[Dave puts his bowl up to the counter and heads to the Baxter Building, we see him look up at it from down the street with the '4' emblazoned on the side of the building, from the back it looks like he is admiring it.. but as we swing round to his face.. he is embarrassed]

[Minutes later.. inside Dave is talking to 'Ollie the greeting robot']

Dave: sa.. *thys* is wit they hud afore mæ??.. thys is even mær embarrassin' thun Ah tho'at.
Ollie: Does not compute. I do not under stand you sir, can you re-phrase and re-state your question about; the Fantastic Four, please?
Dave [speaking English] : Hello.. I would like to speak to Reed Richards concerning an urgent matter..
Ollie: Are you 1. Law Enforcement 2. Military 3. Fire, Sea Search & Rescue 4 The Avengers..
Dave interrupts: Aye.. 4.. [under breath] oar close enough ..
Ollie: in that case sir or madam, would you mind waiting in the lounge while I contact; Mr. Richards.. with a request to attend, the lounge is through the double doors sec..
Dave interrupts sharply: Aye Ah know where it is!

[Dave is doubley annoyed as.. ^ this is the same phrase Reed had presented to him on a flash card and made him read out to guests when they needed to wait. Dave had said the exact same phrase to guests at least 1000 times in his life.]

[Dave is sitting in the lounge.. looking at the 90's decor.. we see he is annoyed]

[Meanwhile.. in the hotel lobby/lounge we see Cap sitting at a table with a large piece of paper and a pencil.. he is drawing a timeline of events with info boxes and notes..]

Cap thinks: I could save them I could save them all before it happens.. I wouldn't need to get involved but.. butterfly wings/tornados and all that.. small nudges here and there.. I wonder if Betsy is stateside yet?

[A dark shadow falls over the paper]

Cap: That's fine thanks.. all I needed was the paper and pencil.. I don't need any drinks..

[we look up and it is JJ rolling his eyes.. he sits down across from Cap]

JJ: You know.. I was serious about wanting a slot on the team..

[Cap is startled and in terror knocks the table and paper and pencil over]

Cap: MAD JIM JASPERS!!

JJ calmly: I prefer JJ now..

Cap: what do want?? are you here to kill us all? are you from this reality?

JJ: I just told you.. flip!.. for a 'genius' you're not too bright when you are alarmed.. no.. I am from your reality.. well the Kobik one, well even that's not true is it? and what I want is.. a slot on the team! Or did you really think the JJ from this reality was looking to join your rag tag bunch without the respect you have earned from me? e.g I respect that you actually killed me.

[JJ stands up and physically rights the table up without using his power and begins cleaning, putting the paper and pencil back on the table.. then sits back down]

JJ: honestly.. it is a shear wonder to me how you managed it..

Cap: effort.

JJ: Well I do enjoy moxie.

[Cap is still slightly stunned]

JJ: besides your Irish girl.. Lep is the most talented reality warper I have ever seen, truly both talented and savant.. I may be A++ in ability and talent.. she is.. something else.. S++? besides.. I do not want you to leave me here is this hokey reality.

Cap gasps..: but the things you have done, the things I have seen you do..

JJ: I am aware. But in similar fashion.. I believe you and this team are the horse to back to get us to a reality closer to our own..

Cap: In similar fashion?

JJ: you're just not having a good day are you??

Cap: not really..

JJ: I am powerful.. but even with all my power, I am still backing this team to do things correctly as this team seems both powerful enough and.. well intentioned enough [sticks tongue out slightly in self-disgust] to get the job done to the satisfaction of all concerned. myself included.

Cap: ...

JJ offended by Cap's silence: Of course once back in close-to-our reality, I will double cross you, killing a lot of people in the process, but then you talk me down and remind me of our long standing.. friendship? enemieship?.. I full-of-regret and gratitude for your team returning me, will.. of course.. reset the timeline.. you will offer me a permanent place on the team.. which I will politely refuse but instead travel to the future.. and witness all your happiness as a team without me.. which will make me truly sad and bitter.. I will then return to the present, make a base in the arctic and live out my life there..

Cap: I KNEW IT!.. you're planning to double cross us!

JJ dryly..: it was a joke.. [JJ pierces his eyes right] .. idiot!

[Dusk has been slow and long, we see the strong beams of dusk sunlight streaming through to the right of the window. It must be late spring early summer in NYC, we see Dave and Reed sitting opposite to each other at a table, Dave is embarrassed, both are silent..]

Reed:..
Dave:..
Reed getting annoyed:..
Dave:.. sorry I didn't mean to shout at you.
[Dave has been speaking English and not Scots.. just to make things clearer to Reed]
Reed: it's a LOT to take in.. and by that I mean, believe.. not the information its self which is simple enough to grasp.
Dave: I knew what you meant.
Reed: of course.
Dave: so.. is it possible and are you willing to help?
Reed: of course it's possible..and I may be willing to help.. but you flagged this as an Avengers* emergency..
Dave: Yes we have an Avenger on the team.. Captain Britain...he is a full member of the Avengers.
Reed: I see.. well while I have some calculating to do, is there anything we can get you.. coffee or tea perhaps?
Dave: No I'm fine thanks.. Sue gave me some pop earlier when I came in..

[we flash back to see this.. Dave is looking at Sue.. not in a sexy way, but like its his.. aunt/sister/mother.. taking care of him during a rough period of his life..]

Dave: This is the point where I naturally ask if you want me to watch FBR.. but perhaps that wouldn't be the right course of action presently.
Reed: yes.. but feel free to speak to Ben, Sue and Johnny.. I'm sure they will want to get to know you while you are with us..
Dave: but that's the point Reed.. they don't know me.. you don't know me.. and that.. well, that hurts.
Reed: I understand.

[Avengers membership.. Ares is a junior member but Captain Britain is a full member. which gives Cap.. and by extension the team, certain rights and privileges. Peregrine is also a junior member of the Avengers]

[Over at Empire State University.. Ares and Zero have broke in..sneaking through the hallways, they are very drunk]

Ares: shhhh..
Zero: your nuts y'know that?.. Spider-Man beat Galactus in our reality.. messing with his test papers is not smarrttt..
Ares: don't be a whoose!.. and besides.. I could've beaten Galactus if I was so inclined.. and had known about it..
Zero: says you.. I once seen you struggle with candy bar wrapper for a 10 full minutes..
Ares: it was the double plastic coated kind.. they're really hard to open without smooshing the chocolate!
Ares stops sneaking, annoyed: .. .. are you mad.. do really want smooshed chocolate??
Ares continues sneaking:.. also.. shhh!!
Zero: we shoulda got Wade.. he wuda loved this!! hehe
Ares: I couldn't find him the phonebook.. [this is a drunk lie.. Ares never looked].. or something..

[Back in the hotel room Isabella and Alan are still in the same cycle of patting her head with a cold damp wash cloth and bringing her endless glasses of water]

Isabella: She looks like she has hypothermia.. she is shivering..
Alan: Aye Ah seen thyt.. should wi git her a do'actor?
Isabella: yes.. but we need to wait for Cap's money to come.. as I hear it is very expensive in the US for doctors.
Alan: Aye.. Ah hærd thyt tæ..

[at that moment JJ walks in the door to the hotel room]

Alan: Wit in the name o' Geoff and the wee man wæ the dug?? wit ur ye dæn here???
JJ: I have no idea what you just said.. but I sense your alarm at my presence.
JJ:.. can I help? I'm no doctor.. but she's looks to be suffering.. and from my experience.. she is suffering from overload withdrawal..
Alan: wit's thyt?
JJ:.. please speak English.
Isabella to JJ: He is asking what is that..
JJ: Reality warpers don't talk about it.. but it is rare when we have a get-together.. as a fight normally ensues.. but every so often, a reality warper will push the limits of what they can do.. it's a truly amazing feeling.. but the crash afterwards.. your body can't handle it.. it begins to long for that state of pushing it to the limit.. thinking of it like.. a reality warper hangover.. rumor is.. Legion had many many of these and caused his initial insanity.. feelings of rejection too I should imagine..
Alan: sa.. wit does thyt mean fur thys situation?
JJ blankly: ..
Isabella: What does that mean here?
JJ: to feel OK.. well many reality warper use strong narcotics to get them on a more level playing field.. and before you both go crazy I am not suggesting that for Lep.. just if you knew of something she loved more than the feeling when she has pushing herself to the limit.. that may aide her recovery..
Alan: OH.. næ duh! whisky! bit she needs mær wa'ter! no less.. coz yon wid dehydrate her!
JJ blankly:..
Isabella: She loves whisky.. but alcohol will dehydrate her.. and she needs more water not less..
JJ: I see.. well that's not the usual problem as most narcotics of that strength do not deplete water as much as alcohol does. no idea..
Alan: ooft.. git her stoned?
Isabella: she is anti-narcotics.. loves alcohol.. hates drugs.. except apparently aspirin/paracetamol..
Alan: aweriȝht then..wait a mo.. COKE!
Isabella sadly: I just said..
Alan: NAW.. no cocaine.. Coke!.. she loves the stuff.. coz she loves the sugar!!! and wit hus the mæst sugar!
Isabella: Claro esta!
Alan: where is Ares? need some o' that cash..wait a mo.. where did Gil and Peri go? Ah didnæ even notice they were awæy!

[Gil and Peri have went into an empty room, Gil is sitting on the bed and Peri is behind her taking her very dirty support bandages off]

< French >

Gil: < thank you for doing this for me >
Peri: < it's nothing.. >
Gil: < if I asked any of the others I get the feeling they would try to peek at my boobs.. which is not nice .. except Isabella.. but she was busy tending to Lep >
Peri: < of course.. we are French.. nudity is not the same for us as it is to them.. it's about intent.. the sexiness is the feeling of the emotions.. not what you see.. >
Gil: 
Peri: < not to be mean about it.. but these bandages are disgusting! when did you last shower? >
Gil: 
Peri: < What on earth?!? how? >
Gil: 
Peri: < how did you manage last time? >
Gil: < ohw I asked a nice woman employee at Hallerom.. we used to play a little squash together at weekends but not since my injury.. she was asking about it and I asked her if she would help.. she was happy to do it as a friend.. >
Peri: < ohw well at least that's nice.. she helped and didn't mind >
Gil: < not so much.. I saw her peeping at me as she was doing it.. I think she is gay.. >
Peri: < well some enjoy looking at other women's bodies.. for comparison.. >
Gil: < definitely not that vibe.. >
Gil: < hence I did not want to ask anyone.. but the suit is very heavy and I am wearing it much more than I used to.. >
Peri: < yes.. I noticed the smell when you took it off.. >
Gil embarrassed: ..

Gil: 
Peri: < of course.. >
Gil: < thank you >
Peri: < it's nothing >

[Gil goes in for a shower.. and while she does Peri decides to clean out the suit of armor]

[few doors down, in the team's hotel room]

Alan: Where DID Dave go?

[Back at the Baxter Building Reed has finished making his Dimensional Gate..]

Reed: Should we assemble your team?
Dave: I should probably go through first and try it.. make sure its close to the right reality..
Reed: as you wish Dave.. but this is very new technology.. we have exactly zero guarantees what will happen.. what if I can't get you back?

[The machine begins to wir up.. the blue light of the portal initialises..]

Dave: then næ hærm done Reed.. Ah watched ye dæ iyt.. Ah kin recreate iyt.. Ah ay felt ye didnæ believe iyn mæ.. bit.. ye jist watch mæ go!

[Dave jumps into the portal]

Reed: I have no idea what he just said but it seemed emotional. good luck new-old friend!

[Dave lands in a dilapidated version of Reeds workshop inside the Baxter building with the portal closing behind him.. it's dark outside, the dead of night and no electricity in the city.. he looks out of the window down to the street below.. he sees much darkness but the moonlight reflected in the eyes of the people and hears a chorus of moaning.. ]

Dave in utter shock: OHW FLIP ZOMBIE REALITY! NAW! NO WÆY! YE HUV TÆ BÆ JOKIN' MÆ!

[Back at ESU Ares and Zero are next to a police car getting handcuffed.. Ares giggles a little to himself]

Zero very very drunk: It was all his idea officer.. I don't even know Peter Parker.. please don't tell immigration.. they hate inhumans .. I don't like these handcuffs! where Magneto at?

[they are both pushed in the back of the police car]

Ares to the police in the front seat: I know a great Greek place.. honestly.. yous will thank me!

[Downstairs in the lobby of the hotel..Cap is on the lobby phone]

Cap: ELIS-ZA-BETH BRAD-DOCK.. honestly this shouldn't be that hard for you..
Phone hangs up on him.
Cap: charming!

[one of the hotel staff comes over with a silver tray with piece of paper on it..]

Staff: your bill sir.. its quite.. considerable.
Cap: how much?
Staff: I would not enjoy saying it aloud.
[Cap lifts up the paper and reads]
Cap: this is.. wow..we have only been here one day..
Staff: sorry this isn't the whole bill.. you still owe us for the room.. which our staff have reported you have more than two people in.. which we overlooked.. no sir this is your phone bill for the day.
Cap: how on earth did I run up a $1000 phone bill in one day??
Staff: sir IS aware that with each of the minute charges there is also a connection charge for each exchange, and the further the telephone exchange the greater the charge..its itemized for sir.. it's all there.
Cap: ohw I forgot about that..but worry not, I am expecting a large sum of money within the next 2 days..
Staff: that may or may not be so.. but phone call charges are to be settled by the end of each and every day.. sir.
Cap: whoops..

[Staff member leaves disgruntled]

Meanwhile.. Peri and Gil are at the police station. Gil is speaking with the Desk Sergeant .. everyone can hear Ares and Zero singing from the cells..

Ares [ singing ] : And its no nay never.. no never no moreeee
Zero [ singing ] : And its no nay never.. no never no moreeee

Desk Sergeant: I.. (starts speaking very loudly, due to the loud singing) I CAN'T RELEASE THEM WITHOUT THE FINE BEING PAID MISS..
Gil also speaking loudly: HOW MUCH IS THE FINE?
DS: ITS $40.. EACH MA'AM.
Gil: THE BURLY ONE HAS MONEY, IF YOU LET HIM PAY THE FINES WE CAN GET THIS OVER WITH, I AM SURE YOU WANT THIS OVER WITH QUICKLY AS THEY ARE VERY LOUD AND NOT VERY MUSICAL.
DS: HEHE.. YES VERY TRUE MA'AM.
DS to another police officer: CAN YOU BRING THE BURLY ONE OUT.. THANKS.

A drunk Ares discovers he only has $48..

Ares: erm.. this okay??
DS: well for you.. but your friend has to stay..
Gil: We will come back for him when Cap gets paid.
Ares: how long is the stay? .. (to Gil and Peri) maybe save the cash
DS: 48 full hours from pickup, but since we picked yous up at 1am, and we don't release until 12 noon he will be staying an extra 11 hours.
Ares shrugs at Gil..
Gil: we will returned when we have the money officer.

The trio begin walking down the street..

Ares: I decided.. I hate the 90s... too boring, need my internet.
Peri: I've found the lack of internet rather.. refreshing..
Zero: I miss Magneto on account of these handcuffs..

The group are shocked.

Zero: what you think I'm deaf?? I am neither deaf nor stupid! Dat big galoot was goina leave me to R.O.T. I can stop time, you think I was staying in dat dumb cell?? Then y'all are the dumb ones.

Group:.. (stunned)

Zero: And now I think about it.. why did those cops keep the handcuffs on me but take them off 'mister white but nicely tanned'??

Ares mumbling: that was more about that you wouldn't sit still for them to take them off..
Zero: I heard that.. but still it is my right as.. quarter black to assume unfair treatment..
[Ares snaps the handcuffs off Zero with them breaking into pieces]
Gil: quarter black?? mais fou..
Zero: I *may be* Inhuman.. but I am also half caucasian, quarter Indian Asian and quarter black.. I mean.. African American..
Gil annoyed: It doesn't work that way for inhumans!! You don't have races like humans, its random..
Zero: well French boss lady.. you go tell da POPO dat!
Gil shouty french swearing.. followed by: tu es fou comme un cheval avec une pomme caramel collée sur le dos.. [Translation: You're as crazy as a horse with a toffee apple stuck to its back ]
Zero: I DON'T SPEAK FRENCH .. so joke's on you.
Ares: BE POLITE.. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Zero: I don't speak French .. so joke is on you... boss lady.
Ares mumbling: .. better..
Gil: You should have waited Zero.. we would have had you out..
Zero interrupts: No offence boss lady.. but I get the feeling yous would have solved the problem of getting us home and then got there and then.. went.. WHOOPS!.. sans Peregrine forgetting his wife! Last I checked.. I wasn't married to none o' y'all!

Meanwhile in the zombie reality.. Dave Shaw has been mowing down hordes with his homemade shotgun shell fed chaingun-machinegun, he is covered in all sorts of fluids and partial solids..

Dave: Ah huv a dream.. tæ kill every last wan o'yez!

[If Dave had the time.. he would mean the whole planet.. but right now he will probably stop at emptying the city.. so he can work in peace.. from the groaning noises that were driving him to distraction]

Dave thinks: thys is no bad.. iyf Ah run oota bullets.. miby swing bi ma auld office .. see if ma Silver Tiger suit's still there..

[Dave is forgetting the relative time period (1999) and that this is before he became CTO at Rand]

[6am back at the hotel and quite a few staff have assembled outside of the groups room]

Concierge: Please, kindly, either pay your bill or vacate the room.
Braddock: It's 6am.. you have us at the disadvantage of waking..
Concierge: We know.

[JJ pushes Braddock out of the way.. then opens the door]
Braddock: NO.. Jaspers NO!
JJ: WHY ON THIS EARTH HAVE YOU CHOOOSEN TO DISTURB MY SLEEEEP!!
Concierge terrified: The bill sir.. it needs paid..

[JJ teleports the courier bringing Braddock his money to the hotel room hallway..]

JJ to Braddock: happy???.. no ones dead and I get can back to sleep!!

[The courier is shaking in terror as he hands over the money.. in cash.. to Braddock who thanks him, Braddock pays the concierge]

Braddock: $20,000 should cover the week.. yes?
Concierge silence..
Braddock.. and of course a tip of $5000 for you all to split..
Concierge: t-t-thank you sir.

[Braddock closes the door and turns around to see JJ opening the closet of which he seems to have made a room inside which wasn't there when the group went to sleep the night before.]

Braddock: you were *actually* doing well up until this point..
JJ: Even reality warpers need their sleep.. and I am too tired to bother with your tosh at 6 in the morning!.. I am usually an early riser, but 1am to 6 is preposterous!! And so I do not wish to listen to your tosh Braddock!
Braddock: you repeated that..
JJ: Like I also said.. I am tired.

JJ:.. Oh and by the way.. Dave Shaw didn't return last night.. but everyone else is accounted for. Just thought you should know..
Braddock embarrassed as he didn't notice Dave was missing: righto.

[JJ closes the closet door behind him]

Alan: The smell!! ben iys hoachin'! Brian.. kin ye kindly gee a few rooms tæ uys awe.. please?
Braddock: 'ben'?
Alan: aye it's Scots fur.. direction.. [speaking English] in this context it means.. 'in here' or 'this place'
Braddock grunts..
Alan: Y'ken.. yur sufferin' a'naw.. wæ yon smell.
Braddock: I suppose.. Alan.. listen..IF you had to.. could you take down Jaspers?
Alan: Ohw flip!.. Ah'll gee thyt Ah'm the guy tæ æsk aboot killin' somewan.. bit.. naw. It widnæ bæ thyt Ah widnæ wa'nt tæ.. Ah'm still angry aboot the heedache he gee mæ afore.. bit thyt dude hus some serious po'wer!
Braddock: sorry if I was a little rude or curt.. just this 'JJ' situation is ultra stressing me out.. we have him in our midst.. I tend not to show my soft underbelly to the person holding the sharp knife..
Alan: Naw naw.. næ worries.. an' Ah kin see wit yur hinkin'.. Peter Parker took doon Galactus in oor reality.. sa aye..if it wis agility an' stamina we need'yt.. bit fur him.. naw mate.. yur lookin' ayt Lep an' she'll no kill anywan unless they try tæ hærm any o' uys. An' jist in case ye wid try iyt.. no thyt ye wid.. bit if ye tried tæ fake iyt.. she ay talks aboot turnin' ye intæ a wee union jack squirrel when she's drunk.
Braddock: whoa..
Braddock: fair enough.

Alan: Isabella.. if ye wa'nt tæ switch shifts Ah'm up the noo..
Isabella sleepily: Gracias.. si..

[Meanwhile in the zombie reality Dave Shaw has rigged claymores all around the city and has retreated to the Baxter building]

Dave: riȝht! noo tæ send a signal tæ the team..

[ we see Dave has built a portal machine like Reeds original one.. but much much smaller.. a 'mini version' as he didn't have the parts. we see him tapping out in morse code the information that he is stranded. We then see JJ in his 'room' hear the morse code at a very loud decibel, he is alarmed and angry]

It's 12 noon, Lep is feeling a little better after a serious amount of coca cola and the group are all in the hotel cafeteria discussing what they should do..

Ares: OH my head!!
Zero: ditto.
Lep: mæ an'awl.. hehe

[Ares reaches round Zero to pat Lep on the shoulder with kindness.. also as a 'thank you' for saving them all, Lep smiles.]

Gil begins to speak 'I think..' but Cap interrupts..'we need a solid plan, one that doesn't get us trapped in an even weirder reality.. or we could just wait it out until we hit the 2010s..'

Gil: Excuse me.. I was speaking..
JJ: That's a good question.. who exactly is in charge of this team??
Zero to Ares: You said I had to be nice to the french boss lady if I wanted to 'stay on the team'..
Ares: you do.. and she is!
Isabella: and.. am I still a 'junior member'... I would like to be a full member.. especially in light of this particular adventure..
Lep: in order of authority.. mesel Ah t'ink.. it goes Gil den Cap den Peri, den me man den Ares
Ares: HEY!
Lep: or joint ma man AND Ares [wink]..
Ares: better [smiles]
Lep: den Isabella den meself den Dave den Zero.. and [points to JJ] YOU Ah'm not sure about..
Gil: I am not 100% on that list.. Dave should be higher on the list as he has strategic talents.. but the rest sounds about right..
Ares: Lep do 'order of power'!
Lep: Hehe.. mesel den yon weird fella JJ
JJ: I'm sitting right across from you..
Lep: den atween Ares an' me man..
Cap: HEY..
Ares: I think she is 'spot on' frankly!
Lep: den Zero
Cap: HEYY!!
Lep: den Cap.. den I dunno..ohw Isabella den Cap..
Lep: wait.. Ares/ma man, den Isabella, Zero den Cap.
[Cap is visibly annoyed]
Alan: no wa'ntin any authority hanks. bit hanks fur hinkin' o' mæ ma love.
[Lep kisses Alan on the cheek]

Alan: Sa ays fun ays thyt wis.. it solved aboot nuhin.
Zero: Y'know Alan.. I have not understood one word you have said since I first met you man.. why not hook a brother up with clear word every so often so I can buy a clue what the flip y'all are talking about!
Ares to Zero: shhh.. not the topic to broach and definitely not now.
Alan: Huv ye go'at a problem wæ mæ pal?
Ares to Zero whispering: leeavve it.. abort mission.. divert funds..
Zero: I dunno what you *just* said right that second... but I sense you want an answer?!?
Alan in English: Have you got a problem with me speaking my own language..
Zero: That! I understood!
Ares under his breath to Zero: be cool be cool.. shut up shut up.. you're being racist to him.. he will and I remind you.. 'rip your head off'.. be cooool
Zero: ohw my bad.. I didn't know y'all had a thing with language or some junk..
Ares is red faced.
JJ: I agree with the coloured fellow. Well said.
Zero is taken aback by JJ's candor..: ohw its like dat! I'm on the wrong side of this one!
Zero whispering to Ares: I was siding with the racists??.. whoa.. why you do me like dat man! not cool..
Ares: I *just* warned you!

Zero to Alan: Listen I feel you brother.. I went through a deeply embarrassing period trying to be a rap artist when I was 15yo calling myself 'The Original Wigger'.. on account of my mixed heritage.. so I get you.
Alan: OHW PUH-LEASE!
Zero: That, I also understood..
Lep: dat is.. nothing like da same t'ing.. at all. We had a 1000 years of da English hounding us, stealing our land.. doin all sorts of stuff to uys.. stuff Ah won't mention in polite company..
Cap.. somewhat muted and quietly: thank you Lep.
Lep: It's not quite the aul' slavery, Ah grant ye.. but ma man is fierce fur the pride o' the Gauls, which is commonly called 'Celtic Culture'.. he is brave tæ speak the Scots even tho he wis taught the shame of it his whole lyfe..
Zero: But what's wrong with English?

Gil: SILENCE!!.. this has degraded into amatuer hour, Lep thank you for your input. Isabella.. yes you are full member..
Cap interrupts: shouldn't we vote?
Gil glares at Cap..
Cap: ookayy..
Gil: Alan.. when speaking to Zero if you would *try* to speak English to him it would be appreciated. Zero for hopefully the final time.. Inhumans don't work like that, the race is *random*.
Zero: but..
Gil: RANDOM.
Zero: .. okay.
Gil: JJ.. you have to try and understand Alan.. Isabella told me how you were treating him and it's not fair, that you were being so intentionally nasty to him. I am not even sure if you should be around us.. but saying that, I do not want to doom this reality to your machinations.

Peri waits a few seconds then says:.. *this* is why she is in charge! [smiles]

Cap: as Jaspers correctly pointed out to me.. Dave is missing. We should try to find him.
Gil: agreed.
Gil: Alan Lep and Isabella.. no wait.. Alan Lep and Ares.. I don't want you paired with Zero for another drinking session.. go and visit Reed Richards..
Cap: I'd like to visit Reed too.. he might have some advice on getting us closer to a version of our reality.. also I have a few questions..
Gil: okay.. Cap too.. Zero and Isabella.. you are on babysitting duty for JJ, Zero if you feel him make a shift in the reality.. freeze time and go get Lep.
Zero: will do, lady boss man.
Isabella sadly: But I have been in the room taking care of Lep since we arrived..
Peri to Gil: I can stay in her place..
Gil: bein.. then Isabella and I will go and have a word with Charles Xavier in Salem, upstate NY.
Cap: wow..
Gil: he's an old friend of my family.. my uncle helped supply Hank with some the security components.. and we've met twice.. but I guess not in this reality yet.

[At which point the police arrive in the cafeteria to arrest Zero]

Gil: shouty french swearing..
Cap: why can't Lep stay to babysit Jaspers?
Gil whispering to Cap: if we keep her locked up, her morale might be very low.. I thought it better to give her a boost in feeling in case she needs to fight him..
Cap whispering: smart!

Police Officer looking at them in costume: yous are one strange bunch! We aren't going to have any trouble now are we?
Cap: Erm.. no officer..
Cap: There was a fine that needed paid but we didn't have the money.. we have the money now.. so how could we go about paying the fine..
PO: I dunno.. well it's going have to go before a judge and breaking out of a jail cell ain't cheap mister! You'll have a ton of forms to fill in..
Gil: Cap.. can you *please* go and sort this? you can catch up to the others and meet Reed afterwards..
Cap as a joke: yes lady boss man.. hehe
Gil: are you teasing me??
Cap: no lady boss man.. heheh
Gil: french mumbling..

JJ to Gil: Why can't I 'help'? I am perfectly capable of finding your Scottish man.
Gil: just you stay here 'JJ'.. the last thing we need is the team coming under suspicion of homicide.
JJ visibly disgruntled: .. .. charming.

[The team split up into their respective groups and leave]

Peri to Gil: so that leaves me and JJ? I'm a dude with wings.. I can't stop him if he tries something.
Gil: both of yous go with Lep, Alan and Ares to Reed Richards.. [to Peri] Tell Lep to keep an eye on him.
JJ: this is more like it! feeling a proper part of the team now!
Gil groans..: uuhg

[Peri and JJ catch up to the group]

Isabella: this is buena...it is never just us Jeannine.. [big smile] ..finally!
Gil: oui [smiles].. and while we are with the Professor we can ask Hank McCoy about that meteor you absorbed. Is it an 'infinity gem' and if not.. what is it?..
Isabella: Por que? also do I have to call you 'lady boss man'. It seems rude to me.. you are not a man!
Gil: uugh.. no and I want to know if you had to.. could you take down JJ.
Isabella: Si.. donita. < yes.. boss >
Gil groans..: uuhg

[Outside the Baxter building we see Lep has teleported the group.. they are looking up at the 4 on the side of the building]

Lep: dat's impressive!
JJ mumbling: .. I could have teleported us.. I don't see what the fuss is about..
Alan: dæ wi jist go inside?
Peri: I have been here several times.. I knew Ben Grimm when he was stationed in France as a fighter pilot.. and then as I was a junior member of the Avengers.. I wonder if he will know me here..
Lep: Is Guillotine a member o' da Avengers..
Peri: Tony asked her join, but then they got in an argument about Hallerom.. Cap is a full member though. So by extension we all get the privileges of junior members.. like deputies..except for Alan..
Alan: how??
Peri: no I mean.. as you are a clone of Spider-Man.. a non-evil one.. and Spider-Man is a full member, not just a full member but core 'team Avenger'.. that makes you.. by default a 'full member'..
JJ is staring at the ground sadly without blinking..
Peri to JJ: What's wrong?
JJ: I was realising how depressing my life is, summed up by having to listen to that conversation. This is not the Avengers building. Can we please move on.
Peri: yes. of course.
Ares: I hope I haven't done anything to *this* Reed Richards..
Peri: What's that supposed to mean??

[The group walk inside.. embarrassed, Ares doesn't answer Peri.. inside the lobby where Ollie the greeting robot is.. Deadpool is in a upright science police casket cell]

Deadpool: nooo.. it's all a misunderstanding.. *those* were the bad guys!
Ares: WADE?? ohw it's great to see you my friend!
Deadpool: Ares?? you gotta get me out of this bro! I have poker.. wait.. why aren't you at poker night?!?.. are you ditching?? ditching and not telling?!?
Ares alarmed: no no.. not ditching!! Let's see if we can't get you out of this..

[The Science Police who are standing 1 foot away and have heard all this.. begin glaring at Ares.. Ares ignores them.. and begins to softly put his axe into between the door mechanism]

Science Police Officer: stand down sir!
Ares concentrating: Just a minute.. I think I almost have this..
SPO: STAND DOWN SIR!
Peri to Ares: You know the rule Ares!
Ares: But he's my bro!
Peri: The rule is; only Guillotine is allowed to talk to or interact with Deadpool, no other member of the team is permitted ANY interaction with him.
Ares: buuttt..
Peri: You brought this on yourself Ares!
Peri to the rest of the group: You know our mobile base? not the first mobile base.. the *first* one Deadpool decided to take for a test drive while drunk.. with Ares.
Ares sad: .. .. no comment.
Peri: *while* we were all sleeping in it.
Ares sad: .. .. true.

Deadpool 2: I don't remember any of that.
Deadpool 3: perhaps they are ghosts Wade.. I see dead people. Ghosts of Future Past.
Deadpool 4: McAvoy would be good in that role!
Deadpool 2: Who is Ryan Reynolds?
Deadpool 3: Don't worry about it.. it won't come up that much..
Deadpool 4: It might.. if we drink more Gin..

Ares: Sorry bro! not this time.. say hi to Bullseye for me.. and tell him I'm sorry for.. well it hasn't happened yet.. but when it does.. tell him I'm sorry about his dog and the chocolates and his toastie maker.. he'll know what it means.

[As The Science Police take Deadpool away..]

Deadpool to Ares in a heartbroken whisper: I thought we were Chimichanga brothers?

Ares is visibly upset for letting Wade down.

Ollie: Hello and Welcome to the Baxter Building. How may I direct your inquiry?
Peri: we wish to speak to Reed Richards.
Ollie: Are you 1. Law Enforcement 2. Military 3. Fire, Sea Search & Rescue 4. The Avengers. 5. The X-Men. 6. Threat of Galactus..
Peri: 4.
Ollie: in that case sir or madam, would you mind waiting in the lounge while I contact; Mr. Richards.. with a request to attend, the lounge is through the double doors second on the left. Snacks and refreshments are available.
Peri: Merci.
Ollie: De rein.

[From the lounge window Ares hears an explosion.. looks down to the street]

Ares: Ohw.. Wade is getting away [smiles].. I am so relieved!

[Meanwhile.. we see Guillotine and Firegirl in the sky, coming up to the X-Mansion.. and landing in the front garden]

Gil: please Isabella.. allow me to do the talking..
Firegirl: Si.. donita. < yes.. boss >
Gil:.. guugh

[Bobby 'Iceman' Drake & Angelica 'Firestar' Jones walk up to the pair..]

Bobby: Can we help you?
Firegirl to Firestar: Buenos dias amiga.. you look a little like me.. jeje
Gil whispering: She's your doppler from here.. also what happened to me doing the talking!
Isabella alarmed, realizes she spoke.
Gil: We wish to speak to the Professor. Could you kindly..
Bobby interrupts: The Professor is *not* to be disturbed..
Gil: Then have you a waiting area we could..
Angelica: This is a school.. for students..if you are law enforcement.. we will need to see a search warrant.. if not, I advise you to leave.
Gil: But..
Angelica: now.

Gil whispering to Firegirl: hold your ears!

[Gil uses a very loud pulse alarm.. Bobby and Angelica hit the ground]

Gil to Firegirl: That *should* alert Hank mcCoy..

[Bobby recovers and blasts Gil turning Gil into a solid block of ice..]

Firegirl turns up the surrounding temperature melting the ice..

Firegirl: Esto no es bueno aqui!

Bobby blasts Firegirl with ice.. but the ice melts before reaching her..

Firegirl: grosero! .. estúpido.

Gil: turn up the heat around us.. but don't attack.
Angelica: Ohw.. I can turn up the heat!

[Firestar begins to burn the air around all 4 of them..]

Firegirl: donita? Should I..
Gil: hold fast.

[Gil's suit takes in the heat around her, using it as a fuel source and turning it into cold inside the suit.]

Firegirl: donita.. I am *much much* more powerful than these two..
Gil: hold.

[At that moment.. as Hank McCoy as 'Beast' comes bounding over the hedge.. Firestar stops her heat. ]

Hank: WHAT DO YOU TWO THINK YOU ARE DOING?
Bobby: Yeah! intruders are NOT WELCOME!
Hank: I meant you two.. Bobby and Angelica!

Hank: I am very sorry for their behaviour Jeannine..we have had some.. aggressors of late that wish to do us harm..
Gil: Merci beaucoup, Monseigneur McCoy.. but how do you know me?

[Firegirl waves to Hank..in the background we see Bobby and Angelica walking away]

Hank: Your uncle was very proud of you, when I visited him I saw your family photographs

[This is a kind lie.. Hank could smell Jeannine from the things she touched in her uncle and aunts house.. He knew it was Jeannine before he even jumped the hedge and saw her]

.. although I admit, you are.. significantly older than I remember.. I only visited him last year.
Gil: Ah.. then this is the year of the upgrade!
Hank: Indeed. [smiles]
Hank: Are you Jeannine Sauvage but from the future?
Gil: Kind of.. and from an alternate reality.. one where Hydra ruled in place of SHIELD..
Hank: oh my!
Gil: Don't worry .. we're not evil or anything.. and we spent the majority of our time fighting Hydra.. that is how our team was formed.

[The three begin walking to the double door entrance..]

Hank: Please.. recall the story..[smiles]
Gil: Well.. bonne [smiles].. I was fighting them alone in Paris, I met Le Peregrine one rainy night, I noticed he had been following me..we teamed up.. which after a couple of months drew the attention of Captain Bretagne.. He knew Excalibur and Outlaw.. we started to form a team.. but they both have since sadly died [heartbroken face]..
Hank: I'm sorry to hear that. my condolences.
Gil: a week later we met Ares.. he had gotten in a fight with some French sailors.. then after we beat him.. he just followed us home and hung around until we accepted him as part of the team [loving motherly smile] .. Isabella here contacted La Peregrine.. I say 'contacted'.. she just followed him around for a year offering to help.. then Captain Bretagne met Widow-Spider in Scotland.. then Leprechaun, Dave Shaw and and inhuman called 'Zero'..

[The three are now in the foyer .. students are running around them, urgently trying to get to their classes]

Hank: do you have any mutants on your team?Is this young lady a mutant? [smiles] .. [to Isabella] .. we offer excellent facilities here..
Gil: Non Monseigneur McCoy.. she was hit with a meteor imbued with strange properties..actually now I think on it.. we do not have any mutants in the team. My I be bold?
Hank: of course!
Gil: I wish to speak to Monseigneur Xavier about an urgent matter..if left alone I would of course, enjoy and spend all day talking.. it is such an honour to talk you..
Hank:.. not at all.. and call me Hank..
Gil: I dare not.. my uncle would chase me round the garden with a stick for showing you such familiarity!
Hank: HAHAH
Gil: hehe
Firegirl: jeje

Meanwhile Cap and Zero walking down a NY street..

Cap: Just don't do that again Zero!
Zero: I dunno why y'all stressin' at me! Havin' a small libation releases the tension.. and you *gotta* believe *this has been stressful!*
Cap: It wasn't a request.. but an order.
Zero: Ohw it's like *dat*.. y'all think you can order me around huh?
Cap: Like I would with *any* member of the team! Don't gaslight some racial issue in my face when you know fine well.. I just paid for you to get out of jail! .
Zero: Pretty quick with that 'don't' huh?
Cap: And by that I mean.. I didn't do it out of personal courtesy.. but professional; because you are a team member.. and so I am effectively your boss
Cap: Besides.. we would already be at the Baxter Building if you would let me fly us there..
Zero: nooo.. I seen you fly.. you're too fast for me! I'd puke! some poor bystander gettin' puked on from the sky!
Cap: then.. why no taxi?
Zero: dem Taxi NY drivers are crazy man.. I seen dat one movie!
Cap: gugh!

At the Baxter Building lounge..

Reed: So you see.. he left and there was nothing I could do.. and when he didn't return.. I begin to analyze the frequencies of where he left to.. but couldn't get a strong enough signal.. I guess wherever he is.. they don't have much in the way of electricity.. or I could locked on to their power grid to triangulate the signal..
Peri: I see.. so is there *absolutely* nothing we can do?
Reed: my son is a very powerful reality shaper.. I wondered if he could retrieve Dave.. even though FBR is only 2 years old.. but the more I thought about it the more I realized.. you would have to be nearer to that specific reality to gain any kind of lock.. or you could just pull *any* Dave Shaw out of *any* reality..
Peri: This is upsetting news.. but I thank you for your attempts Mr. Richards.
Peri to Lep: This also means it is unlikely you would be successful in retrieving him.
Lep is upset/sad.

Down the street from the Baxter Building..

Zero: How *exactly* am I supposed to get my weed on?.. everyone I meet might be a cop in this freaky dimension!
Cap: Wait. you take drugs?!? You're powered individual and you take drugs?!?
Zero: ohw snap! Ares said to not tell y'all about dat..I'm West Coast all the way brother! we believe in the power of the weed. It's part of the West Coast constitution an' junk!
Cap:.. .. you make me long for the days when I was stripped bare, tied up & abused by albeit sexy.. but ultimately psychotic women.
Zero: Y'all into that freaky stuff huh?.. not judgin'.. I knew a Vegas stripper once.. nice girl. She'd buy a little weed off me and complain about driving people around..
Cap: .. what?.. are you sure she wasn't an Uber driver?
Zero: Upper-diver.. is dat a casino? I dunno 'bout dat.. but she would come round in her bikini and not stop talkin 'bout sex or complain 'bout her 'customers'..
Cap: SHE WAS INTO YOU.. how could you not see that?!?
Zero: really??.. man.. I was stoned a lot.. things go by you when you're stoned.
Cap: * I am aware *
Zero: So you're saying.. I could have had a Vegas stripper for a girlfriend..?.. wow
Cap: AN UBER DRIVER!
Zero: I already told you man.. I don't know dat casino!

The two are standing at the doors to the Baxter Building as Peri, Lep, Alan, Ares and JJ walk out..

Zero: too late huh?.. where Dave at? I want to apologize for bein all racist an' junk Alan.. Dave too.. sorry man..

Alan sad: næ worries Zero.. [to Ares] .. drink?
Ares very sad: yeah.. I think I need a beer..
Zero: Now y'all are talkin!!
Peri: No beer until we are all back at the hotel.. we are not losing anyone else..
Cap: agreed.

Peri thinks in french : it is a shame I could not see Ben again, on account of it being so late. Maybe next time.

Meanwhile back in the zombie reality, Dave has emptied out the Rand NY lab and moved the stuff to the Baxter Building..

Dave to self: Ohw man.. Ah feel bad fur Big Steveo.. an' Steve Jr... jist a wean here. Munched oan.. wow.. thyt wis chillin' tæ the core! Cudnæ stæy there æfter seein' thyt!

[Dave gets to work making a full sized portal device, using a power source he found at Rand.. the power source is The Hand's bioelectric blood]

It's much later at the X-men Academy.. around 1am.. Hank, The Professor, Jeannine and Isabella are in the kitchen snacking, drink and talking.. having a pleasant conversation..

Prof. X : .. so you see it was Jeannine's uncle who paid for my post graduate thesis to be published, kindnesses like that should never be forgotten, and with all my faculties intact, I never will.

Jeannine: wow.. I never knew that story!

Prof. X : Hank too.. when he was struggling for money in his early 20s, your uncle got him a paid internship.

Hank: it's true. I was so very grateful.

Prof. X : Back to the matter at hand.. I don't see any clear way of returning you to a time in a closer dimension.. to be frank, I don't think the technology exists.. and if it does, it's not on earth in this dimension.

Hank: Reed Richards is your best bet.. but if the Professor is saying what he is saying.. then I will guess he has scanned Reed Richards mind and already knows..

Prof. X : I did. They were unable to find or retrieve your companion. sad news I know. Is there *any* chance you would consider settling here?

Jeannine: I might.. but then this is not the will of the group, besides we have a dangerous reality warper with us.. he is called Mad Jim Jaspers.. I am pretty sure we need to get him to *modern* Division 3 facility. One where.. hopefully your son is in charge!

Prof. X : MY SON?

Jeannine: ohw have I spoken out of turn?.. pardon me most dearly monseigneur.. I apologize. [sad face]

Prof. X : No.. not at all.. I was just taken aback.. what is my son's name?

Jeannine: Admiral David Haller.. head of Division 3. Do you know Division 3??

Prof. X : No.. we must not have that here yet.. what is it?

Jeannine: it is.. a mental asylum for reality warpers.. your son is one of the most powerful reality warpers and that makes him ideal to be in charge.. he is also close friends with Captain Bretagne.. they have tea together at least once a month..

Prof. X : What a splendid idea.. a mental asylum for those who can shape reality but cannot relate to reality..

Back in the Zombie Baxter Building..

Dave: OKAY!.. here go's nuhin!

Dave steps through holding a smaller portal generator and a medium sized bottle of the bioelectric blood from Rand.. the grass is green, we are in a field.. it looks idyllic.. pleasant.. Dave looks over and see's some robot children playing and laughing happily..

Dave: 'Naw... næ wæy! Ah saw thys in an episode o' A Life Like This...' awe o' yon wean robots'll turn n' rip mæ tæ shreds..

[This is the same reality Alan saw in Div 3..

'A Life Like This..' being a analogue of our realities 'The Twilight Zone']

Just as Dave turns around the portal closes..

Dave : NAAAWWW!.. ohw flip this is sa much worse thun the zombie reality!

Dave sees a radio tower..

The robot children notice Dave .. and begin singing..

Dave [to self] : [Dave begins running toward it..] man.. thyt's even creepier!

But those robot children are fast! They pursue him and would have caught him if he wasn't so close to the tower.. Dave climbs as fast as he can.. the robot children make a circle around the tower but do not climb.. they are laughing and some are still singing.. Dave 'MacGyvers' himself a portal, using the mini portal device, the electro-blood and some tower components.. the portal appears but is too far away.. like 10 feet off the platform level..

Dave: YE HUV TÆ BÆ JOKIN' MÆ!! .. .. naw wait..

Dave aims the device at the ground and the portal shifts position but also realities (before we had seen an empty warehouse, then we see a jungle of Piranha Plants, then an industrial world and finally a city street..)

Dave jumps grabbing the portal device with him.. without switching it off the portal gets further and further from him as he hurtles to the ground.. where all those sinister robot children are..

Dave: Ah huvnæ thought thys through!

Dave looks at the children getting closer.. and at the last second..

Dave: Ohw aye!

Dave flips the off switch and goes through the portal.. landing on his back of the pavement.. as he stands up one of the robot children begins poking their head threw the portal as it closes.. searing it in half..

Dave: wa`ste næne wa`nt næne!.. thyt heed'll come in handy! Noo where um Ah??

Dave grabs the seared head.. looks up to see:

'The Barrowlands' sign

Dave: Ah'm in the Barras?? Ya Dancer!! Glæsga .. Ah'm HAME!

A female passerby says: Shut iyt ye weirdo!.. talkin tæ yersel.. wit a pure beamer!

Her boyfriend: ye wa`ntin' lift`yt aff the polis?

Dave to self with a big smile: aye hame riȝht enough!

[Back at the hotel in the 618 reality.. Gil walks through the door with Firegirl.. the team have congregated in Gil and Peri's room, interrupting a ongoing conversation]

Alan: Ah'm no sæyin' wi huv lo`st 'im..

Alan: hey boss! .. an' o' course the lovely Isabella.. hehe

Lep: ye'd be in trouble Alan.. if Ah didnæ fancy her masel! hehe

Alan: hey! it wis a joke!

Lep: hehehe

Isabella mystified: what?

Peri: Any good fortune with the Professor?

Gil: none.

Cap: I have a lead..

Gil and Peri: really??

When I got back to the hotel I had a message waiting for me.. from my sister Betsy. She has given me a phone number of a powerful sorcerer.. who apparently can transport us to other dimensions..

Ares [big smile] : It's Doctor Strange isn't it??

Cap: no.. much .. much.. worse.

Ares: ohw dear. ... who?

Cap: Doctor Doom.

Ares: whoaaa..

Gil.. french shouty swearing.

Gil: non!.. absolu dans mon cœur.. non!

Cap: She said he 'owed her a favor' but didn't elaborate beyond that..

Alan: Ah see how ye didnæ tell us! fair enough.. Ah'm oot. If Ah see thyt guy again unner ony circumstance.. Ah'm goiny rip his heed aff!

Isabella and Lep: nooo.. Alan..

Lep: if we leave ye've GOT tæ come wit us!!

Ares: I feel the same. Not going if he's the way out. catch a lift another way..

Isabella: wow.. this makes me so sad, we are splitting up the group.. who is for going with Doom's help and who is for not??

Cap: I'm willing, this Doom is not the same person and I can live with that.

JJ comes out of the shower..

JJ: ohw.. I used your shower I hope you don't mind!

Gil: non.

JJ : I was listening from the bathroom while toweling down.. I don't have a problem with using Dooms help. Can I add.. I am probably as powerful, if not more powerful than he is.. I have experience in extra-dimensional..

Gil and Cap interrupt at once: NO!

JJ: then prudently, I side with the Captain.

[Cap makes a shiver noise like he is chilled to hear this]

Peri begins to stare at Gil.. then glares..

Gil: OK!.. we will go!..

Zero: I'd prefer to stay with Ares..

Ares: ohw that's so sweet bro!! so kind!

Zero: .. .. I'd prefer it.. but I need to get my weed on real soon. So I hope ya'll understand bro! I'm going with these cats.. coz whole time in NYC in this reality.. I did not even get tiny whiff of it walking down the street.. so I'm assuming there's none in this reality or some junk.

Ares: w-what?

Zero: it's been real brother! but no blunts equals no fun. I'm out. we been bros a long time, you know me.

Ares sad face.

Ares: Lep? Firegirl? are you going with them?

Lep: Ah'm stayin wit me man.. sa iyf he's no goin' Ah'm no goin'..

Isabella: I want to go with donita Guillotine.. but only three left behind seems unfair.. and how can I separate from my meteor sister? .. no.. with Guillotine's permission I will stay and we will try to find you again.. and Dave.

Gil: I am worried for you.. and worried for you all.. but at the same time I still have my reservations about using Doom's help.. so what more can I say??

Gil to Isabella: granted.

Ares: any chance of some spare cash Captain?

Alan: aye 20k should tide us o'wer..

Cap: here's 50.

Alan: big hanks man! solid!

Ares: same. 50k. wow. solid. [shakes Cap's hand]

Lep grabs Cap, who is much taller, and gives him a kiss on the cheek.

Lep: cheers ye big galoot.. look efter yursel now ye hear mæ!

Cap smiles a little abashed.

Isabella to Gil: Sorry donita. I must do this!

Gil: Do not worry too much.. we are hopefully heading in the same direction [wink]

[unseen by anyone except to us, hidden by her hood.. a single tear rolls down Jeannine's cheek as she winks.. but the hood was so dark Isabella only saw the wink and not the tear]

[The mysterious woman covered in shadow watches through the same portal.. listening]

MW: This accelerates my plans for my spider..somewhat..

Meanwhile.. in the new reality.. Dave is at Central Station, Glasgow City.. talking to the train attendant in the ticket booth..

Dave: naw.. see Ah've only go`at American money..

Train Attendant: Listen pal.. Ah wa`nt tæ bæ nice..bit.. Ah cannæ pit thyt in the til.. ye unnderstaun?

Dave: aye totally fair enough..

Dave looks through the money Cap gave him to get food at the cafeteria.. $550 ..

Dave thinks: o'werkill wæ the money.. bit Cap mighta jist saved ma life! næ wæy Ah wa`nt tæ bæ iyn Glesga alæn æfter dark!

Dave: dæ ye know o` an exchange aboot here?

TA: Ah hink there's wan up ayt Queen Street son.. aye pretty sure..

Dave: næ bother.. hanks fur yer help mate. [smiles]

TA: mind yursel!

Dave starts walking along the road under the bridge and up the massively long Buchanan Street hill.. the place is pretty deserted with only one maybe two people walking down the street.. it's around 5pm.

There are strange metal globes on tall poles with a metal vertical visor spinning around it making the light strip flash..

Dave thinks: wit the flip iys thyt?!?

Overhead a sentinel flys.. it is much bigger than the ones the US military had planned.. by a factor of ten.

Dave thinks: Aweriȝht.. noo Ah get it.. reality where mutants urnæ welcome! Shame! hud such high hopes there fur a minute.. mind ye.. Ah'm fine.. Ah'm no a mutant. Git masel back tæ Dumbarton.. fun oot wits wit wæ somewhere tæ live/stæy. Make some proper calculations afore settin' aff again.

[Back in the 618 reality at the hotel as night falls.. Siobhan and Alan are in bed together..Siobhan is fast asleep.. but Alan is restless.. ]

thinking:

Alan: Ah ken he exists.. stop hinkin' aboot 'im!

Alan: Naw.. he's jist sittin' there wæoot a care in the world.. Ah cud go there rip his heed aff and thyt wid bi thyt!

Alan: naw. naw. .. stop obessin' aboot him!

Alan: ohhw Ah cannæ sleep known he's there..

[the corner shadow begins to grow.. it makes a portal and a 'spidery' old lady can be seen watching Alan]

Alan: Wit the flip! Siobhan wake up! noo!

Lep: whats up ye dafty.. Ah wis sleepin' .. Ah'm not feelin randy da now..

Madam Webb: Do not be alarmed.. I watch over all my spiders.. including you Alan McKay..

Lep half asleep: dis a dream?.. but Ah don't fancy her.. don't make me have a threesome wit her Alan.. it's weird.. she a spider?.. dat's too weird!

Alan: WAKE UP!!

Lep suddenly becomes alert to what's happening..

Lep: OKAY!!

[Lep teleports all four of them into Madam Webbs dimension.. Isabella is just in her nighty, Ares is in boxers.. both Alan and Siobhan are nude]

Alan: clæse..

Lep: clæse what?

Alan in English: clothing.

Lep: ohw right! .. prude iyf ye ask me tho..

[Lep makes all four of them their 'hero' attire]

Ares: the money..

[Lep opens a portal behind her and reaches into Alan and Siobhan's room and grabs the money from their bedside table]

Ares: all our stuff?

Lep: FYNE! grumpy! Ah'm jist awake!

[Lep teleports all their stuff to their feet in Madam Webbs Lair]

Isabella begins to get re-dressed

Isabella: No peeping!

Ares under breath: that will take a level of restraint I'm not sure I have..

All are staring at Isabella.. half asleep until Madam Webb puts a web curtain up in front of Isabella..

MW: AHEM!

after Isabella is dressed.. Lep then just strips in front everyone..

Lep: Ah kinda like dys! [beaming smile].. makin mæ randy.

Alan: .. .. too knackered tæ argue

Lep Alan and Ares strip and get changed..

Isabella: now I feel guilty.. I peeped on all of yous.. maybe I should show you all my boob?

Madam Webb: NO!

Ares to Isabella whisper: rain check on that please..

Alan and Lep look at her somewhat sleepily and nod.. (they would like a rain check too.)

[the group are now full dressed in their real hero gear.. with a duffle bag of whatever the rest of their stuff is including the clothes that Lep made]

MW: I contacted you Alan in the hope you would be able aid me and I you..

Alan: wit's the script?

MW: Hmm?

Alan in English: What is the plan.. what do you want?

MW: I have a reality that would be perfect for all of you..but that reality's earth is under threat of Galactus.. and Thanos.. they have teamed-up

Alan: Let mæ st`op ye riȝht there.. Ah kin smash Galactus. næ bother. Peter Parker fæ ma dimension did it.. an Ah fought him.. thot he wis a whoose. Sa.. aye.. geez a lift tæ yer place.. ohw.. an` git the rest o' oor team tæ uys a'naw.. an wi huv a deal!

MW: I didn't *really* understand what you said.. but I think you are agreeing?

Alan: no ye a'naw.. AYE.. YES I AM AGREEING.

Ares thinks: Who or what is a ..Thanos?

MW: very well [big smile]

Alan: Who exactly ur ye? Ah've never heard o' ye..

MW: I am the multifactor of the universe..

Alan: that's no wit Ah'm æskin' .. naw.. wait..

Alan: let mæ guess 'you're a version of either Aunt May oar Gwen who got hawf eaten bi a huge mutated spider who then went oan tæ bæ Sorcerer Supreme æfter Doc Strange died'

MW: So you're more than just anger.. you're actually smart too..'

Alan answers: Ah'm Scottish.. check the list o' inventions.. we're awe smært.'

Lep: How ur ye any more powerful dan meself?

MW: I'm not.. just more experienced..

Lep: Ah dunno.. Ah'm pretty experienced..

Alan: she doesnæ mean wæ drink oar sex Siobhan..

Lep: ohw.. Ah'm still kinda sleepy..

MW: Siobhan.. its is truly awe inspiring!

Lep: Ah dunno about dat!

MW: you mean you do not know what is inside you?

[Alan raises an eyebrow]

Lep: naw.. Ah'm fyne.. Ah believe in the Lord Almighty.. t'ank ye very much!

MW: But.. you have so much power!

Lep: Iyf Ah get curious.. Ah'll let ye know!

[MW looks at Alan.. Alan is staring at her waiting for an answer.. MW stares back.. few seconds pass]

Alan responds: Aye defo! tell mæ.. Ah'm champin' ayt the bit here!

[Madam Webb makes holograms of what she is speaking of appear as she speaks]

MW: She has four infinity stones and many different cosmic cube shards.. it's quite the cocktail! While Isabella here, has one infinity stone and most of one cosmic cube, with a few shards missing.. the meteors as they struck them, acted like a catalyst.. a spark that ignited the cosmic shards to fluidize the infinity stones.. this like mixing your drinks has made an exponential increase of power..

Ares: I know a little about these infinity stones.. they are powerful stuff.. the Dark Elves had something called the Reality Stone also known as 'The Ether'..

MW: That's one of the stones that Shobian doesn't have.. along with the Power Stone which is the one that Isabella does have.. however, the cosmic cube shards turned the infinity stones they do have into a liquid like the Reality Stone.. which I assume is how that stone became liquid..

Ares: But by the sounds of it.. she wouldn't be able to warp reality without that stone..

MW: The four stones have merged.. usually the Power Stone is the chief stone supplying and guiding the other stones.. however this time is different.. with the Time Stone taking on some of the properties of the Reality Stone and becoming the chief stone. She has the Time Stone, the Space Stone, the Mind Stone, the Soul Stone.. but also shards of different cosmic cubes.. she has the heart and a shard of the Tangent Cube.. which is what was missing from Isabella's cube..

Firegirl: So meteor sisters truly!

MW: you have such a warm and generous heart Isabella! You have warmed this old lady's heart even for a moment.. after all I have seen..

Alan: go oan..

Lep interjects: Ah'm no sure Ah'm wanting to be hearing this Alan McKay!

Alan: Ohw come oan ma love!.. we've hud næ telly fur ages.. an` this is the mæst interestin hing since we awe watched mid-season finale o` secret gambler!

Lep: hmmm

MW: should I continue?

Alan: aye.. dinnæ stop noo..

Lep: suppose.. but Alan McKay yur either eaten muff oar crow the night!

Alan: [ to Lep ] first wan! deal! [ to MW ] go oan..

Lep beams [to MW.. slowly spoken] : me man loves mæ!

[Holograms continue*]

MW: [ not sure what to say ] quite.. the Tangent Cube has the power to make things more or less likely.. with Isabella, it simply increases her power, but for Siobhan and her other stones, it has taken a different role.. She also has shards of the Red Cube also known as the Blood Cube.. it manipulates DNA and organic life.. which is similar to another shard she has of the Verdant Cube.. she has 3 more shards of other cubes, the Kosmos Cube, the Engineering Cube, the Element Cube. Kobik in her natural form was shards of the Engineering Cube, what Siobhan has is Kobik's alternate reality version counterpart.

Alan and Ares and Isabella: woooow!

MW: yes.. 'wow' indeed! The liquefaction of the stones and shards has made quite the potent mixture! How she became 'green' .. that is another mystery entirely..

Lep: HEY! cheeky!.. iyt's lyke when ye mix all da colours n' get brown.. 'cept dis time it's green [big cheesy smile]

MW: I don't think it works like that Siobhan..

Ares: gotta say.. bit skeptical myself..

Alan: aye.. thyt soonds.. no riȝht.. ye wid git broon..

Lep [annoyed] : how wid yez awal know dat?? yez ur the daft ones! Ah'm tellin' yez!

Alan [ to MW ] : sa.. how aboot gettin us hame?.. stærtin' tæ feel lit a 80s D&D cærtoon aboot here!

* [The Tangent Cube (Orange) The Red Cube also known as The Blood Cube (Dark Red) The Verdant Cube (Green) The Kosmos Cube (White) , The Engineering Cube (White/Blue), The Element Cube (Purple)]

Meanwhile in the 618 reality in Latveria.. Doom is in his study with the group.. the same study he killed Excalibur in the Kobik reality..

Doctor Doom: I see..

Cap: So is it OK?.. I mean Betsy was..

Doom interrupts: Psylocke.. yes.. yes it's fine..

Doom to JJ: Aren't you Mad Jim Jaspers?

JJ: Well.. yes.. but not the one you might know..

Doom: Why aren't you helping your team to get 'home'..?

Gil answers in his stead: We have our own trust issues and social dynamics in the group.. we do not feel right about that sort of thing..

JJ: charming..

Doom: I seeee.. then.. let us proceed to my basement..

[we cut to the basement 10 minutes later.. Doom has them all in chains in a circle attached to vibranium metal cross boards except JJ.. who is standing next to him.. both laughing, fists on hips, legs astride.. villain laughs..]

Zero: Ohw COME ON!

JJ gleefully: What do you plan to do with them?

Doom: I will keep them as my pets..

Cap: my sister will come looking for us..

Doom: no she won't! I already sent a message saying you and your team had left for another dimension! HAHA

Cap: ohw right.. forgot about that..

Gil: french shouty swearing

Doom walks over to Cap and begins to drain his lifeforce through his gauntlet.. the light from the energy reflecting in Doom's face in the dark dungeon..

Doom: Do you feel my power Captain Britain??

Cap: AGHAGHGH

JJ asides with Gil and whispers: I really hope I'm not as 'chicken of the cave' insane as this fellow..

JJ snaps his fingers and Gil, Zero & Peri's chains fall off..

Gil whispers: merci!

The group stand at Doom's back.. he becomes alarmed and turns around.. as he does Cap breaks his own chains.. and with a mighty whack! knocks Doom out..

Cap: While I appreciate you getting us out of this.. WHY ON EARTH DIDN'T YOU BREAK MY CHAINS TOO??

[in the background we see Jeannine & Alain put their respective suits back on]

JJ slyly: planning..

Cap stares at JJ angrily: hmmm

JJ: he has a dimensional map dial [picks it up].. I can use this to navigate.. why don't we just go??

Gil: but what about the re..

[JJ uses the dial.. they are in a warehouse]

Gil: ..st of the team..

JJ: whoops!

Cap: aghagha.. no no no..

JJ: you didn't hit him that hard.. he was regaining consciousness!

Meanwhile in Dumbarton in the Sentinel reality.. Dave is sitting on a swing in Dumbarton East Park.. a lovely victorian park with the elevated train station high up to his right.. its lightly raining and no one is around..

DS to self: Riȝht.. ma fæmly doesnæ seem tæ huv moved here.. place looks kinda the same tho.. cept' this pærk looks lit it did afore we came tæ live here.. there's næ fitbaw groon.. guess we hud an impact..? Ah never played fitbaw tho.. næ idea.. bit Ah've still næwhere tæ live!

At that moment in the sky, a huge robot battle begins.. Leopardon (Marveller), Takuya Yamashiro's (Japanese Spider-Man) robot is fighting the Sentinels .. part of a Sentinel leg, on fire, drops down 20 feet from where Dave is sitting..

Dave: man.. Ah need tæ git oot o` here!

Dave checks his bag.. he only has a small amount of the bioelectric blood left.. we can also see two components of the portal device are fried.. we see a corner of the child robot head..

Dave: welp.. wa`ste næne wa`nt næne..

Dave gets up and starts rolling the leg part on the grass until the fire goes out.. Dave begins ripping out components and sticking them in his backpack until the backpack is overflowing..we see Dave walking along the cycle path to the Greenhead bridge, under the bridge.. which instead of a cycle path is a small canal.. he sits by the canal..

Dave: aye guid haul!

Dave takes a screwdriver and a zippo out of the backpack, lighting the zippo and heating the screwdriver as a soldering iron.. he begins to work..

Dave thinks: Ayt least Ah wilnæ huv robot pærts hittin mæ fæ the sky unner a bridge hehe

Meanwhile.. Team B of Widow-Spider, Leprechaun, Ares and Firegirl are landing in a new reality.. reality 261.. they look behind them under a huge shadow and look up.. and look up some more.. to see Galactus.. floating in the earth's orbit.. he is wearing a full infinity gauntlet and is heralded by Thanos, who wields two cosmic cubes and the Silver Surfer's board..

Lep: DAT'S ONE GIANT LOLLIPOP!

FG: Hame Kami?

Lep: .. prolly..

WS: he seems tæ huv hud a power up since oor reality.. [points].. check the jewelry..

Ares: dunno about the jewelry.. but I once seen him fight Surtur.. Surtur smashed him. roll credits.

WS: .. .. wait. whhyy?

Ares: Oh he showed up at Muspelheim .. got a taste for Surtur's minions.. thousands of years ago..

WS: Lep darlin'.. fancy meltin' a lollipop?

FG: Hey! I do the melting!

Lep: Den let's go tagither an` gee da boys a rest [ winks at Firegirl ]

Ares: .. I like fighting too!

A person on fire runs by the group..

WS: no tæ cramp anywans style oar anyhin.. bit.. if Lep could go the noo... thyt wid bæ great!

Ares: fair enough. Good luck guys [ warm smile ]

Lep: .. .. its girls.. but Ah knew what'cha meant [ winks as she and Firegirl fly up towards Galactus]

WS: Sa Ah guess we fight yon wee dude wæ the glowin' lawn ornaments?

Ares: guess so.. that board helps its owner phase matter.. when I fought the Silver Surfer.. he was a total pain.. two hours of fighting.. until I banged two axes together and made a shockwave..

WS: Soonds lit a plan! if ye make blades.. Ah kin use thum tæ git up..

As Lep and Firegirl fly towards Galactus.. Thanos flies towards them and crashes into Lep..

Lep: Ehh.. excuse mæ!.. rude much!

Firegirl blasts Thanos with jets of fire.. he shrugs it off..

Thanos: pityful!

Firegirl grits her teeth. Fire begins to swirl around Firegirl and the winds begins to blow strong as the fire changes the air pressure...

Firegirl: DO NOT DARE SHAME ME PURPLE MAN!

Firegirl blasts jets of fire that to Thanos's surprise knock him into orbit.. he composes himself as he stops his board.. but Firegirl was following him and 'fire punches' him in the face.. he is dazed.. he uses one of the cubes create a bubble shield around himself..

Widow-Spider and Ares were half way up to where Thanos was..

WS: Ohw.. now he's in space..

Lep flies over.. you guys need a lift to the ground?.. Ah told yez tæ relax!

WS: erm.. aye .. miby.. fur masel

Just as Lep was about to teleport Widow-Spider.. Firegirl.. flaming & unconscious re-enters the atmosphere..

Lep determined eyes. angry.

Thanos re-enters the atmosphere..

Lep: HAMMI KAMMMIEEE..

Lep blasts Thanos with both dimensional and laser energy.. his left arm starts to disintegrate.. with his right he crushes the Cosmic Cube (orange) and absorbs its power which slows the disintegration.. he flies towards Lep ramming her.. WS and Ares are stunned to see she is.. knocked out!..

WS: Ohw.. flipppp!!!

Ares and Widow-Spider (swinging on Ares' flying blades) go over to confront Thanos.. Widow-Spider's Spider-Sense pains him into blacking out for a split second.. as Thanos wide energy blasts them both.. Ares is unphased but Widow-Spider falls 100 feet.. but Widow-Spider manages to web one of Ares lower blades and stop himself falling

WS: AH UM SO GOINY KILL HIM!!

Thanos to Ares: I remember you.. it was fun to kill you the first time.. I will enjoy killing you again.

The disintegration has slowed a lot.. but not stopped.. Ares sends many blades towards Thanos' weak spot, his left arm.. ten blades penetrate his bubble and into his left shoulder..

Thanos: AGHOHW!

We go back a few minutes to follow Lep.. she is falling at speed towards the earth and crashes into a old barn.. back to present time in the sky:

From nowhere Ares hears ..music ..

Ares: .. Bee Gees? ..Stayin' Alive?

Lep soars past Ares.. she is RAGIN'! The music seems to be coming from her... she has Widow-Spider in a green bubble 30 feet below her following her around..

Lep faces Thanos.. her right hand glows, she unphases his board.. her left hand glows and she sucks all the orange power of the cosmic cube out of Thanos that he had absorbed .. with her left hand she makes a gesture like grabbing him by his unmentionables as she does this.. reality around Thanos begins to crumple.. like it's made of paper..

Thanos: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? GALACTUS SAVE ME!!

Leps grip gets tighter and tighter until .. poof! Thanos turns into a disco-ball and falls to earth..Widow-Spider bursts into laughter: HAHAH! Dillion!

Lep determined eyes: Now fur da lollipop!

WS: bit.. bit.. look ahun us!..

Ares: WHOA!!

Few minutes before Leprechaun fell to earth, Firegirl was still on fire and melting into the earth.. still unconscious she melts through the earth's core..the team are unaware of this.. she comes out the other side.. the blaze can be seen from this height as the team are almost out of the atmosphere.. Firegirl has burned a large hole through the earth..

Lep: .. .. [under breath] whooopsie

WS: Ares.. wa`nt tæ go git her mate!?!

Ares: She might melt.. me??

Galactus: YOU HAVE DONE THE HERALDS JOB FOR HIM I WILL CRACK THIS PLANET LIKE AN EGG..

Ares: He's not wrong. ..

WS and Lep silence & staring at Ares.

Ares:Okay.. I'll get Firegirl.. yous deal with Galactus!

Ares flys round the earth to get Firegirl..

WS to Lep: Iys iyt no a moot point noo.. tæ gee him a doin'?

Lep: erm.. how worse can it get??

2 hours later and a quarter of the planet has broke off, the disheveled looking team including Firegirl are regrouping, having a quick rest and a chat.. Galactus too is a bit battle worn and one of the infinity stones is missing a large shard.. he has various melted parts.. his 'horn' is broken off and stuck in the side of his head.. the lower part of his leg is hanging off.. his chest is a giant tape player playing the Bee Gees.. with no 'stop' button..

Alan: Ah hæ næ idea how Petey boy did it! .. Ah fun the power regulators.. smashed thum.. nuhin! It'll bæ the jewelry!

Lep breath panting: MAN.. he isnæ a lollipop.. he kicks like a donkey dat yuv fed a curry!

[ flashback : a field. rural Ireland. in the middle of the night, moon out clear sky, drunk Siobhan to the donkey; it's nutritious I assure you.. [ BLETCH / BURP].. ]

Lep :..no follow up questions oan dat.. t'anks!

Galactus consumes the broken chunk of the earth..

WS: Thys husnæ worked oot lit we imagined!

FG: This is why we need Donita Guillotine!

WS: Miby oan tæ somhin there Firegirl..

Galactus cracks the remaining earth.. Lep bubbles the team.. Galactus throws half the remaining earth into the sun and consumes the other remaining half..

Galactus: NO HARD FEELINGS.. YOU FOUGHT BRAVELY BUT WERE OUTMATCHED.

An asteroid floats by and the team stand on it as Galactus flies away..

Ares: FLIP!

WS: aye 'flip!'.. also.. how ur we gettin.. anywhere?..Ah mean we should prolly avoid Madam Webb.. æfter this [ points to the little chunks of asteroid where the earth was ]

Two hours later.. the team are having a little campfire and a portal opens.. the team stand up as Kang the Conqueror with mighty stance comes through a portal on to the asteroid

Kang: Do-gooders see your destruction and quake before Kang the Conquer..wait.. Ares?

[Ares walks up as Kang stops floating]

Ares: Hey bro!

[both fist bump]

Kang: bring it in bro!

[both short hug]

Kang: what you doin' here bro? Is Bullseye still mad at you?

Ares: This is my team.. we're looking for a way to get home to our closest but not our dimension.. mouthful.. and yeah.. he's still pretty mad last I saw him.. he shot me in the forehead with a sniper rifle.. he knew it wouldn't pierce the skin.. just hurt a lot! So I would say he's still pretty mad.. did you discover if he found fluffy like I asked you?

Kang: yeahhh.. bad news.. after fluffy escaped.. he couldn't find her.. you must have really burned that chocolate into her fur.. I still don't understand .. how?? I don't really think you would do it out of badness bro.. but

Ares: NOoo .. I was trying to make those truffle things and all I had was chocolates and toastie maker.. so I sat down while the chocolate boiled in the maker.. sitting the maker on the table..

Kang: So.. fluffy came in and snagged the cable and it just went on top of her.. right?

Ares: not exactly.. but let's go with that..

[Flashback/What happened: as above but fluffy [a bulldog/corgi cross] came in the livingroom to see what her 'uncle Ares' was doing.. Ares very drunk acknowledges fluffy but with a 2 second memory puts his feet up on the table.. which means he kicks the toastie maker and bubbling boiling chocolate over fluffy.. he didn't mean it.. but it happened.. fluffy understandably quite upset.. starts making lots of noise.. Ares thinks he need to cool down the chocolate so she won't be in as much pain.. so he takes her outside.. and goes and gets a pan of water.. when he returns she is gone. The chocolates were special gift to an elderly friend, who had been watching Bullseyes flat while Bullseye was out and sometimes checked on fluffy through the window.. only Deadpool and Ares knew who fluffy was.. fluffy was a therapy animal Bullseyes psychiatrist made him get.. and it was working. Double betrayal!

Bullseye had been talking to his psychiatrist about killing the old person for 'spying' on him, but his psychiatrist had talked him to buying and giving the person chocolates instead and seeing how Bullseye felt about giving them that instead.]

Kang: do you guys need a lift home?

Ares: that would be awesome bro!

Kang: it's nothing.. of course, anything for you bro!

Ares: We're looking for the rest of our team..

Kang: .. tall order.. but like I said.. anything for you bro*!.. .. most places are better than this.. I seen a place where everyone looked happy.. [shrugs]

Lep whisper to WS: how does he know him again??

WS shrugs

*See Exposition Theatre

Meanwhile Team A in the new reality..

Gil: THIS IS WHY WE DID NOT WANT LEPRECHAUN TO DO THIS! SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT SHE WAS DOING AND IT SEEMS.. NEITHER DO YOU!!

JJ: [ silent.. bit sad ]

Cap: She has a point.. I mean you were there when we all had that talk..

JJ: not much of a talk.. if you ask me.

Peri peeks out the door to the outside, with the team (except Zero) peeking behind him.. large plants wearing human clothes are walking down the street.. they go back inside.

Peri & Gil: NOPE!

Cap: .. .. Little Shop of Horrors anyone?

Zero to self: .. I think I can smell weed.. ?

JJ: okay.. I may have made a mistake..

Gil: Let's just get out of here.. JJ can you get us someone.. better?

JJ looks awkward.. then says: I can tryyy...

using the dial map he tries to figure out a new route..

JJ: maybe this?? [ he has a worried expression ]

Gil: [ shouty french swearing ] ... bein.

Team A teleport..

Team B teleport..

Dave teleports..

Chances of them all reaching the same reality at the same time.. in the same place:

1.4258789e+42 to 1. But on this day.. at this time.. that '1' is powerful enough to make it happen..

Welcome to Reality-538!

As they are walking out of the portal Kang and Ares are chatting.

Kang: so of course the Russian equivalents nuked him, that Kang was stoopid.. killed the Avengers took over the world.. then let the Winter Guard aka 'Russian Avengers' kill him.. stoopid [shakes his head, then face palms]

ARES: DAVE??.. JEANNINE?? GUYS??!? [huge smile on Ares' face]

The team reunite on a NY street corner.. hugs all around.. except we pan to Widow-Spider and Captain England who were about to hug but both stopped hand shaked instead with a big smile.

Kang: ZERO!.. hows you bro?

Zero: Hey Kang.. I still haven't got my weed on!

Kang pulls a joint out of his belt..slipping it to Zero : shh.. down low bro!

Zero tears in eyes: Dunno how I can ever repay you.. total bro man!

Kang: let me slide on those two gold bars.. [ awkward smile ]

Zero: hmm..you used up your pass for this year.. but seein' how situations.. okay.. yeh.

Kang: totally needed that as I'm kinda short on funds this year..

Zero: Wait a mo.. how do I know you're the same Kang I know.. I mean my reality got zim-zapped wit cosmic cube voodoo..

Kang whispers: no take backsies.

Zero annoyed. But sparks his smoke and chiiillls ouuttt.

Lep: Dat's a good point.. how do we know dis is our Dave tho? we seen some freaky stuff..

Gil: same here..

Dave answers with a big smile: Aye Ah kin prove it.. by knowin' the sheer amoont Lep eats.. the smell a'naw.. ye'd think fur a reality warper she cud change the smell..

The team look at each other and nod in agreement.

Gil: fair enough

Lep is a little annoyed.

Widow-Spider giggles..

Lep under her breath to Alan: ye watch yursel Alan McKay! Ah still huvnæ hud ye eatin' me muff..

WS: Hotel first ma love [wink]

Lep: fair enough.

WS: .. .. an' Isabella telt us she wid geez a swa`tch o` her boob..

Lep: ohw! Ah forgo'at about dat! wanna see her.. [blushes] makin' mæ randy now.

The team begins to look around this world.. (Kang is waiting for Ares to dismiss him.. as in their poker/drinking group/club Ares outranks him)...

Intermission:

Exposition Theatre

Ares' Poker/Drinking Club;

'The Dead-Pokers' :

Deadpool (Founding member, President)

Ares (Founding member Vice President)

Zero (Founding member)

Bullseye (Founding member. Not allowed to be dealer.)

Dopinder

(Founding member. Club Secretary. taxi cab driver.. Zero is a little afraid of him.. because NY Taxi driver + the movie)

Kang the Conqueror (Founding member. on permitted sabbatical. four months in a six month sabbatical)

Hank Pym (Founding member. Monthly showing by permission)

Deadpool: He's getting old.. we better let him keep some of his money for retirement!

Justin Hammer

(First recruited member. pays for chips/dip/pizza/booze/everything.. Bullseye *hates* him/bullies him)

Alicia Osborne

(New to the group; 2 years. cousin-niece to Norman Osborne, her father is Norman's cousin) Senior VP of Biotech at OSCorp

Magneto (new to the group; 18 months. on permitted sabbatical.. but the guys aren't worried as most of them owe him money)

Shatterstar (on probation)

Cable (STILL on probation.. even after a year for starting a fight with Kang)

Applicant waiting list:

Emma Frost (but Magneto has blocked/black balled this as she 'just wants to meet Ares')

Willow Trask

(cousin of Bolivar and Simon Trask. She is Head Professor of the 'Practical Physics' Department at ESU. Justin Hammer has blocked her.)

Dylan Brock (Currently has a symbiote known as Feral. Currently blocked by Deadpool as 'there's young and then there's too young.. this isn't a PG13 comic or anything!')

Banned:

Doc Ock

(now banned/semi-banned for crying after losing/bubbling about his late wife for the second time)
Batroc the Leaper (ditches but doesn't tell the others.. semi banned)
Rocket and Groot (perma-banned for cheating)

Big Bertha (perma-banned did not pay debts. Argument about whether or not they were 'real' debts)

Wilson Fisk (accused the group of cheating then started a fight.. but was NOT drunk while doing so.. for NOT being drunk while doing so.. he is perma-banned)
Domino (for obvious reasons)

Former:

Inez Temple

Dazzler (only came once)

Markus (CTO and Head of Engineering at Hallerom Industries.. may or may not be deceased due to collapsed reality)

Big Steve Sr : Junior VP of Engineering at Rand. (may or may not be deceased like Markus)

When Alicia showed up at Hallerom Industries* :

Hank: Ohw.. its you Alicia! We know each other from Poker night..

Alicia: hey Hank! .. hey Markus! Ares said you weren't coming next week..

Hank: yeeahh.. got to get my beauty sleep sometime..

Alicia: HA! thats VERY true! hahah

Hank: ha.ha.

Hank turns to Dave whispers: I really worry.. about that girl's eyesight! 2 years and she still doesn't fancy me!

Dave: miby no thyt.. *some* people jist dinnæ like banging bones an *actual* dust comes up!

Hank: funny. Make sure you hold the screwdriver the right way round.. don't go embarrassing yourself in front of these nice and possibly rich folks and ruin your rep for being competent!
Dave: wan time Ah go`at the wrang ratchet.. it was an 1/8th o' an inch difference.. experiences husnæ tamed yon rose coloured glæsses o` yursel

Hank: My eyesight is fine!.. unlike this attractive but in need of glasses woman here.
Alicia: What are you two whispering about?

Dave: Hank's tellin' mæ he's thinkin' o' goin' intæ modelin'.. cover o' GQ an' awe thyt..

Alicia: good luck.. it's a difficult industry.

[Dave stares at Hank.. and mouths the words 'Of course she could hear us.. it wis blind ye wir sæyin she wis.. no deef']

* Euro-Avengers #4

On recruiting Justin Hammer for Poker Night:

[group looking at Hank]
Ares: you're the richest out of all of us.. Kang and I don't even carry money..

Hank: Then how are yous going to gamble at poker?

Ares: badly. But for realz.. Wade/Zero/Bullseye will cover us and then we will pay them in gold later..

Hank: but ..I'm broke.. you guys are crazy if you think I got megacash!

Zero: Also I need my weed on..

Deadpool: what he said.. lots of drugs and/or booze

Hank: I know this weasel.. Justin Hammer.. he's loaded!

Bullseye (Irish) : Stop bein' tight an' buy us some drink!

Hank: For real B.. I'm low on funds!
Deadpool: how rich is this Justin guy?
Hank: megabucks!

Kang: sounds like that settles it.. lets get him..

Deadpool: seconded.

Ares: Thirded.

Deadpool: any black balls? hehe.. Deadpool 2: I really enjoyed hearing that
Bullseye to the guys while Deadpool continues to whisper to himself

Bullseye (Irish): Ah hav me reservations.. but okay.. Ah want me drink oan!

Dopinder: But didn't he like.. blow up a load of Asians?

Deadpool: That's enough politics for you young man.. I'm cutting you off!
Dopinder: .. .. I guess it would be nice to have pizza that didn't have bits of pancake stuck to it..

Hank: I'll second that! .. yuck! I used to love pancakes before I met you Wade..

Intermission end:

The group are chatting..

Gil: we need to find somewhere to stay..maybe the Marquis again?

Ares: Ohw Captain!.. your 50k! [hands it back]

Cap: Thanks, appreciated... hey.. you're a couple of hundred short..

Ares: drink money? [cheesy smile ]

Cap: [grunts].. I suppose.. it's been a stressful time for us all.

Ares notices Kang waiting..

Ares: dismissed bro.. ohw and tell the others I'm not ditching.. just trapped in another dimension.. dimensions..

Kang: no worries bro. consider it done [smile] .. bye Zero! ..Kang leaves in a portal.

Zero very baked: what??

Four hours later.. the group has spend the early afternoon in the Marquis, by late afternoon they are walking down the street and begin to notice the people.. everyone of them is *super* happy! .. too happy.

WS: drugs?

Lep: good sex?

Cap:.. .. mind control. I've seen it dozens of times..

JJ: You're welcome.. [stifled laughter]

Cap: not just you.. few different types..few different people..

Gil: seems this might not be the right reality for us..

Dave Ohw.. Ah dunno..

Dave is staring at a huge poster of Susan Storm, she is wearing a cowboy style outfit.. underneath 'Susan Storm .. Real Estate and Law.. for prices that will make you feel like a outlaw!'

Dave is attracted to a single/unmarried (reality-538) Susan Storm that looks like 'Black Sue' see Dark Reign Fantastic Four issue # 3..

Dave: wow.. Ah mean Ah hud ayways seen her as a maw (English: mother) figure.. bit that figure is dæn stuff tæ mæ Ah cannæ describe.. she is gorgeous

The girls start to get jealous/annoyed.. all three..

Lep: shouldn't it be us yur fancyin' first? An' give compliments?

Alan: wit??

Gil: I think I'm more attractive.. not to mention younger..

Isabella: humph! .. yous are OUR men! but we get no attention..

We pan out to see Dave staring at the poster.. a massive erection in his trousers..

Dave: it's no lit Ah'm huvin sex wæ any o' yez.. cept earlier when Jeannine flashed mæ her boobs in the hotel..

Gil: SHHH! secret..

Alan: is this.. yon Third generation feminism Ah keep hearin' aboot? ye own us men.. bit we dinnæ own yous?

Gil: oui. And we give you little treats like our doggies.. (giggles)

Alan: humph.. we'll see aboot thyt!

Gil: I mean all of us are straight..

Lep under breath: and one bi-sexual..

Gil to Lep loudly: I went with a women once in a threesome.. it as nice but I don't think I would do it again, even though I find you attractive.. you have a *very* sexy energy!

Lep: wow.. t'anks!

Lep whispers to Alan: we're beddin' dat girl! seduce her n'dat!

Peri to Gil: Why did you flash him?

Gil: felt bad about losing him to a weird reality.. and besides I haven't been with anyone for a *very* long time. Except Hank.. but that was so irregular.. off and on.. felt like nothing.. it's been nearly two years since Hank..

Peri: ah! natural.. [ nods ].. [ quieter ].. two years, oui.

(Jeannine is starting to fancy Dave.. Dave is mid-forties so ten years older than most of the group.. 50+ is Jeannine's age range.. when men hit 50.. she begins to notice them.. Dave pays Jeannine little to no attention.)

Gil: Besides none of this talk would have happened if yous hadn't took Isabella up on her offer of showing yous her boob.. it bred jealousy.

Lep: dat wis a LOT o' fun! Ah came tons!

Isabella: It wasn't fair! [blushing annoyed face] yous forced me..

Alan: noo.. that isnæ exactly true noo is it?.. ye coulda walked oot the door at any time!

Isabella under her breath: I was.. too aroused.. wanted to see if I could have a whoopsie just by watching.. then I would have left!

Alan: did you have a whoopsie?

Isabella: not telling. You should be ashamed Alan McKay asking a woman that!

Alan: Sa YE DID!

Isabella blushes.

Alan: And still ye stæyed!

Ares: I still have to take you up on that offer.

Isabella: gladly [ smiles.. trying to make Alan jealous ]

Lep: hmmm..

Cap: ENOUGH SEX TALK! We are a superhero team not a porn troupe!

Peri annoyed: Agreed.

Zero baked: what's goin on? I'm still really high from Kang's weed..

Cap: ghagh [ face palms]

Later.. Alan and Lep are talking alone in their hotel room..

Lep: so.. Ah wanna bed Jeannine, but Ah want Isabella t' be our girlfriend.. Ah figure ye made Isabella come pretty hard as Ah could tell she wis jealous when ye were mean tæ her!

Alan: mean? when?

Lep: shush!! concentrating..

Alan: okay.. go oan..

Lep: She got off hard watchin' us.. sa if we seduce Jeannine and git her in bed.. Isabella will huv a jealous fit den we strike! we get her intæ our room and Ah'll eat Isabella's muff while ye put yur w@~}~@: in her mouth..don't come.. den we switch.. den don't hold back.. she'll come sa hard den we'll have her! If we miss her.. she'll just sleep wit.. Ares and we'll huv lost da game..

Alan: ye ken wit?.. yur really scary in a different wæy sometimes Siobhan.. Ah wid æsk how ye know how tæ dæ awe this seducin' bit.. ye aweready telt mæ..

Lep: [winks] 5 villages.. o'wer 500 guys.. and o'wer 90 women too!

Alan: no bein bad oar anyhin.. bit.. Ah dinnæ hink Jeannine is intæ mæ..

Lep: that's maybes.. but her muff is so desperate .. its like little shop of horrors.. it'll clamp oan tæ anyhin! jist give her a good seein' to while Ah kiss her.. wance she's came a few times an' Isabella hus heard her.. save yours fur Isabella..

Alan: wit??

Lep: Trust mæ. Dats what Isabella wants. Yur baby juice.

Alan: An' IF Ah git her.. pregnant?

Lep: den da kid'll have three parents [big smile] .. me dream! tæ have both and me man have both and me girlfriend tæ have both.

Alan: riȝht...

Alan thinks: flip.. Ah wis hopin she wis jist randy.. naw this is deeper! .. well Ah dæ love her sa.. aye.. guess threewæy relationship it is! wow.. Isabella is stunnin' though.. this is nuts.. Ah'm affy confused.

[fade to black]

This whole plan goes off without a hitch..

[scenes of underwear on the floor and moaning]

[strange shadows on the wall and moaning]

With the exception of 20 minutes in with Jeannine.. Cap starts banging the door.. as Jeannine was *very* noisey..

Everything else went as Lep would later say 'perfectly!'..

The next morning Alan is a little awkward around Jeannine at breakfast.. Jeannine clears her breakfast tray away but then stops to talk to Alan, who is still eating..

Jeannine: What's wrong? are you ashamed? [smiles]

Alan: naw.. naw.. jist thought .. ye didnæ 'like' mæ sa .. feelin a wee bit oan yur side fur ye..[embarrassed for her]

Jeannine strokes Alans face ever so softly: You made a stressed woman.. very happy .. encore.. very relaxed.. you will always be beautiful to me Alan McKay. pour toujours et à jamais.

Alan [warm smile] : hanks Jeannine.

Jeannine leaves as Isabella enters and comes over.. Isabella has a tray full of her breakfast and sits across from Alan with a huge smile on her face.

Isabella: buenos dias mi amante. jeje.

Alan:ma Spanish insæ that good..bit Ah hink Ah git the gist hehe.. morning! beautiful lady that is ma new girlfriend hehe

Isabella: jeje.. si.. buenos manyana mi amor..

Isabella gently strokes his hand as he eats, she seems besotted with Alan.. her breathing deepens, her pupils widen..without meaning to.. she lets out a little noise [ mmmm ].. like she is purring..

Alan smiles with much affection in his eyes..at that moment..Siobhan sits down with a massive chocolate cake next to Alan and Isabella..

Siobhan: Ah'm starvin'!

Isabella: you deserve it! you worked hard on us both last night lover! jeje

Alan: so it seems.. 'we'.. ur noo 'three'..

Siobhan: Too flippin' right [winks at them both while having a mouthful of chocolate cake] .. work Ah did last nyte.. makes ye both me b@~#@# ..

Isabella laughs and snorts milk out of her nose..

Alan: hau!..

Siobhan: erm.. Ah widnæ complain if Ah wir you ... TWO Girlfriends?? hot as we are right enough!?

Alan: Thyt IS a guid point..

Isabella: jeje.. I need to confess something to you my two lovers..

Alan: huh?

Siobhan: erm..

Isabella:.. firstly I love you both.. [places one of each hand on their hands] I think maybe I fell in love with you both a long time ago.. secondly.. last night was my first time with.. anyone.

Alan: whoaa.. Ah jist thought ye wir stærtin' yur monthlies..

Siobhan finishes her cake..

Siobhan: Ah felt ye miby be like dat.. first time.. bit efter it.. Ah wis doubtful coz how well ye ate me muff while Alan wis doin ye..

Isabella: SHAME!.. we do not speak of such things outside of the bedroom or when we are not alone.

Siobhan:.. but everyone left about ten minutes ago..

Alan and Isabella look around and everyone is gone..

Isabella: I am sorry for raising my voice lover.. please forgive me if I hurt your heart.. at the same time be mindful of my heart.. I do not enjoy shame.

Siobhan: Don't worry.. we'll work dat outa ye.. hehe Ah'm jokin'.. I come hard cos of how sweet ye are! ..an' hot!

Alan: Isabella.. dinnæ worry mi amor.. she whispers sweet hings afore she goes tæ sleep.. tells mæ awe her secrets an' loves..

Isabella smiles warmly to them both: I knew she had a softer side..

Alan: sa.. dæ we need groon rules oar..

Siobhan: yeah.. Ah'm in charge.. we have dates awe three of us twice a week.. endin' up all three of us in bed.. if there's a fight, we don't go off intæ a pair, if we have a fight we have t'make it solo, oar jealousy will destroy us.. 5 days a week do whatcha want.. pump each other all the tyme and leave me out.. oar Alan pumpin' me oar me an Isabella eatin' each other out.. doesn't matter.. but break da dates den..break da bond.

Alan : that wis affy specific.. huv ye done this afore Siobhan..

Isabella nodding in agreement with Alan..

Siobhan: well.. only like.. 12 tymes oar so.. it's a learn process.. Ah'm still pretty new..

Alan: whoa!

Isabella: wow!

Siobhan: Da idea is to be inclusive.. but since sex drives vary.. ye also need tæ bæ understanding o' others needs..

Isabella begins softly stroking Siobhan's face while Siobhan speaks..

Siobhan: no one member of our tryst.. should force others to do things against the others will.. but at da same time we each huv a duty tæ make sure nane o' us are horny or randy at anytime if we can help it.. leavin a member horny oar randy makes da others bad lovers. must answer da call of horniness.

Isabella: agreed.

Alan: agreed.

Siobhan: speakin' of calls.. we awl must answer texts an' calls within 30 minutes unless an arm hangin' off oar somhin..

Isabella: agreed.

Alan: agreed.

Siobhan: no cheating.. no one outside of us three.

Alan: *cough*.. ahem!..

Siobhan: yeah yeah hold on tæ yur mask.. from now oan..

Isabella: [sad] did Siobhan cheat?

Alan: naw.. no exactly.. she wid jist strip naked in front anywan she fancied.. talk aboot advertisin'!

Siobhan: so from now oan.. no guarantees.. but Ah will TRY tæ bæ mindful o ma lovers feelin's. Næ strippin' in front o' strangers.. oar friends.. oar bystanders tæ our heroism..oar strange alien beings Ah miby fancy..

Siobhan: Isabella an' mesel'll sync our monthlies.. an' bæ cranky.. we must remember dat Alan is not going through dat an' give as many manual reliefs as he wants/needs.. not asks for.. like bare minimum.. but like.. two a day oar somhin.. coz girls they forget coz o' da pain.. and yeah its much harder oan girls den boys.. but same time even as he looks normal.. he isn't.. dat's what made me fifth tryst fail.. it wis horrible shoutin' ayt each other.. awl da blames an' stuff.. and it wis jist cause he wis all plugged up.. so.. if three days go by.. we get to force him to empty his mayonnaise bottle.. most past boyfriends loved dis an' would even wait t'make us dæ it tæ him hehe.. is this okay?

Isabella: agreed. wow.. I didn't know men had such needs..

Alan: Ah um awestruck in your unnerstaun'in o the male psyche.. agreed.

Siobhan: Ah huv a doctorate in Psychology.. and Ah wis offered a head teaching post at da University of Vienna..bit.. aaanywaayyss

Siobhan: no condoms, they cause too many rows and regular STD checks once a month.. no arguments. no exceptions. Also.. no scat. no BDSM. less fetishes the better.. except me nudist t'ing.. an' public sex hehe..

Alan: *cough*

Siobhan: okay okay I made dat last one up.. but wit fetishes.. if two like it and one don't.. den.. dat one is left out.. an' it breeds jealousy. seriously. Oar if one likes it.. they pressure the other two into somhin they don't like. cracks appear in the relationship and so da tryst.

Alan: Ah like the soapy hing..

Siobhan: dats barely even a fetish..every guy likes da soapy ting.. ye want da soapy ting fur your birthday.. both of us? we can rent a wet room..?

Alan: .. aye smashin'!

Isabella: Whats the 'soapy thing'?

Siobhan: ohw its like me nude ting but involves a shower..wit too much privacy if ye ask me, lots of scrubbing with soap and nakedness..washing + climaxing.. ye git the idea..

Isabella: sounds.. kind of.. normal?

Siobhan: totally. how it got a name as a fetish.. Ah'll never know..

Isabella to Siobhan: you are so knowledgeable my lover <3 <3 .. [she holds both Siobhan's hands with her hands] .. but how did you know? how did you know I would be excited by also a woman? .. did you plan this?

Siobhan: perfectly! [winks]

Jeannine comes in..

Jeannine: kindly... we have been waiting outside for yous for fifty minutes..

Alan: Sorry Jeannine..

Siobhan: mornin' [wink].. ye look like ye go'at more pep in yur step Jeannine!

Jeannine: And to you all a good morning! .. and that's much thanks in part to you Siobhan! [broad happy smile]

Siobhan: heheh..

Alan whispers: awe thyt talk made mæ randy..

Siobhan: We'll be out in a minute Jeannine..

Jeannine leaves..

Siobhan.: if yous two pop to the toilet.. I can cover fur us for 5 minutes max.. jist show him yur boobs n' give him a tug.. he'll finish up pretty quick as he's not used tæ ye an' havin' two girlfriends [winks at Isabella]

Alan: .. wow!

Isabella to Alan: Shall we lover? jeje..

Outside the rest of the group have assembled..

Brian: Now I see why..

On a massive poster there is the Beyonder posing with the American flag at their back..underneath the poster in red lettering 'L <3 VE'..

Brian: ..its got to be mind control.

Jeannine to Siobhan: Where are the others?

Siobhan: Ohww they're coming.. right about... now.

10 seconds later..

Widow-Spider walks up next to Siobhan.. suited up..

WS whispers to Siobhan: made a bit o' a mess sa.. needed tæ change.. Isabella is cleanin' up the stall..

Siobhan: flippp! .. how much o' a mess didyez make??

WS: aye.. she's gettin changed tæ.. nearly sprayed ma webbin' everywhere a'naw..

Siobhan: [ choked surprised laughter ] ghagha [nose snort].. think Ah'll change too.. intæ somhin mær .. sexy.. [ poof of green vapour/smoke and Siobhan is no longer wearing her more modest clothing but her sexy victorian style Leprechaun gear ] .. [sexy winks at Widow-Spider]

WS: Dinnæ dæ thyt tæ mæ.. Ah dinnæ hink Ah've go`at any fluid left in mæ.. Ah'll bæ a husk afore dinner time!

Siobhan: [ another choked surprised laughter ] ghagha..[covers her mouth with her hand to stifle laughter ]

Firegirl sides up to the two..

WS: Muchas gracias mi amor..

FG: de nada, mi poderoso hermoso hombre. mi semental. [smiles happily]

Jeannine: Why do you three have your work clothes on?? I told everyone to wear street clothes..

Lep: well.. Ah jist t'ink..

Jeannine: Weren't you all in street clothes an hour ago?? [groan].. it's things like this that make me stressed..

Lep: Well we could fix..

WS: *cough* we dinnæ dæ thyt anymær.. rem? *cough*

Lep: ohw right![ sudden realization of what she was saying ].. We'll try harder tæ get wit da script in future boss!

WS: Wit IF we three go an' scout aboot?.. full gear.. and the rest o' yez dæ it oan the down low.. low profile n'thyt?

Jeannine: I really don't think that's good idea until we know what we are dealing with.

WS; .. okay.

Jeannine: Lep can you mask all three of yous.. to make it seem like yous are in street clothes?

Lep: yes boss!

[ Lep then masks them in 70s disco gear.. but Alan and Isabella are unaware.. but the rest of the team see.. and say nothing.. except a little giggling from time to time ]

In Central Park the group stand in front of a MASSIVE statue of the Beyonder..

Ares: someone's got a high opinion of themselves..

Brian: Do you think he is in Washington DC?

Jeannine: Probably.. but again.. this world seems near perfect.. there's no war.. the people don't argue.. there must be no crime or murder..

Brian: Jeannine.. you can't be serious?.. this is a brainwashed world!

Jeannine: Oh.. bien entendu.. I do not support such behaviour! But why are we the ones to save this reality and what will we leave in its stead.. should we leave?

Brian: all.. very good questions.. that I don't have the answer to..well not instantly have the answer to.. and I know you weren't saying that..

Jeannine: hehe... spit it out Brian..

Brian: should we make this our world?.. but even if we leave.. should we leave these poor people as pigs in cages?

WS: First time.. if yez are takin' pollin.. Ah support him in this.. ye cannæ dæ thyt tæ folk.. Ah mean wit if they ur trapped in their æn minds oar somhin..?

JJ: erm.. maybe not the thing to divulge..but here goes.. I took a trip into the waiters mind while all that annoying banging was going on in the hotel *polite cough*.. and yes.. they are buried deep.. and I do mean DEEP.. they have no notion of the outside world or what their motor skills are doing..

Jeannine: while I am very angry you did this without permission.. this is very valuable information..

Brian: IF.. he is telling the truth..

Lep: Ah kin try tæ see if he's tellin' da truth.. but Ah'm new to awl dat! what if der head explodes?

Jeannine: erm.. lets leave that for now..

Dave: is he technological.. mutant .. alien.. oar wit?

JJ: From what I understand.. it definitely wasn't technological.. but I admit I am not up on the latest tech.. but to me it smacked of a reality warper..

Dave: atween JJ and Lep.. yez should be able tæ take him doon.. but question is.. should we?.. oar should we jist... leave?.. we huv mæ noo.. Ah kin map the multiverse.. git us somewhere mær suit'yt tæ us..

WS: Ye cannæ bæ lit thyt Dave!! lee'n these folk here lit pigs in cages!!

Dave: HAHA.. sorry man.. sorry .. Ah cannæ take ye seriously wæ thyt afro bobbin' aboot as ye talk.. too funny!

WS: Wit afro??

Lep unmask's the trio..

Dave: ohw thyts better.. .. [ to Widow-Spider ] its no thyt.. miby Jeannine hus a point.. Ah mean we huv a wæy oot, noo Ah huv access tæ modern technology.. sa afore we git intæ a huge battle wæ this guy.. think oan oor options..

WS: well.. aye.. Ah cannæ disagree wæ thyt.. bit still.. Ah'm awe fur savin' thum if we kin!..

Dave: aye mæ a'naw.. bit no fur nohin!.. risk awe oor lives.. wreck the planet.. fur wit?.. Ares telt us wit happened wæ Galactus.. flip! thyt wis rough!

WS: point taken.. aye.

Jeannine: how quickly could you build us a mapping machine Dave?

Dave: Well.. aye few months.. bit miby quicker wæ help.. Ah mean.. wæ Siobhan, Alan, yursel and Brian's help miby weeks? yez ur awe engineers aye?

Lep: aye.. Masters fæ M.I.T ..but Ah git bored.. an' t'ursty.. den irresponsible..

Brian: not sure I'm that kind of engineer.. I specialize in mechanical engineering..but if I can help; I will.

WS: Erm.. Ah'm an engineer.. bit mær a bio-chemist..but aye.. kin dæ the basics..

Jeannine: oui.. I have a masters from Université de Lille.. it'll be much similar to yours Dave

Dave: och.. Ah've go`at a doctorate fæ Strathclyde Uni.. annoyed they closed doon thyt place.. lovely auld Uni.. Jordanhill.. hear they wir knockin' it doon tæ build hooses.. if Ah hud the cash.. aaanywise... aye..

Jeannine is looking at Dave dreamily.. as he waffles on about nothing..

Dave: atween the lot o' us..

Alain: *cough*..

Dave: ohw dæ ye huv a engineering degree a'naw? [smiles]

Alain: non.. but I was a nuts and bolts mechanic in the French Airforce.. 4 years.

Dave: aye.. yur in!

Alain smiles.

Dave: sa.. doon tæ.. ermm.. two oar three weeks wæ everywan pitchin' in.. an' næ interruptions..

Lep grabs Jeannine and takes her away from the group..

Lep: Ye've go`at it bad fur Dave huh?.. da 'older' type..

Jeannine: I've made no secret that I like older men [smiles]

Lep: What about his wafflin' oan?.. Ah nearly fell asleep there!

Jeannine: hehe.. no! I like that.. it's comforting.. I even like the ear and nose hair too hehe

Lep: eiow!

Jeannine: yes totally.. its gross.. but when, with older types, we have sex.. it drives me crazy seeing it.. I stare at it until I climax.. something about the contradiction of.. I was strictly taught to respect older men, and here we are.. with him on top of me and we're doing something very disrespectful to each other.. ohw wow!

Lep: ye know ye have daddy issues..right?

Jeannine: ohw totally! without a doubt.. when I was child my father tried to kill me so..

Lep: WHAT??.. den.. do watcha need to do Jeannine.. næ judgment, especially no from mesel.. wow.. although Ah do have a habit of forgettin'.. especially since mæ incident/memory problems.. and lack of drinkin' compared t'before.. oar too much drinkin' .. no sure which

Jeannine: it's in the past.. and Dave seems to like blonds.. but it was exciting to see how much he has to offer hehe

Lep: yeh.. he'll destroy ye.. dats weeks in the gym doin' pilates tæ git back in shape fur each tyme he gives ye one..

Jeannine: hehe..

Dave comes over..

Dave: Ah said.. is thyt aweright?

Jeannine: is what all right?

Dave: ohw.. need tæ explain again.. riȝht.. we huv enough money tæ rent a place in upstate New York.. well if næwan spys its no go`at this guys face oan the money.. rent a place fur a month.. we imagine the auld Avengers buildin' wid be easy enough tæ rent..then git tæ work!

Jeannine: ohw thats a splendid idea.. well done!

Dave: wisnæ mæ wis.. Cap fur the rental an' Widow-Spider fur the Avengers compound.. bit aye..

Jeannine hasn't listened to a word past her response.. her pupils are so wide, her eye colour is barely showing..

Jeannine senses he wants a response.. dreamily: yes that's great.

Dave gos back to the main group..

Lep: Wit age ur ye again??

Jeannine still looking dreamily at Dave:.. hmm?.. 23..

Lep: WHAT?.. 23 an' ye lead dis group??

Jeannine still not paying full attention to what she is saying: Yeah.. I'm pretty organised.. besides even though I don't have a problem with Captain Bretagne.. other people of other nations might not feel the same.. they are more friendly to me.. the idea of 'Britain' has been pretty hostile around the world.. except to the Americans..

Lep softly to get more truthful opinions out of Jeannine: So why not Alain? He's like 33 oar somthin'

Jeannine: he didn't want the job I could tell.. besides I was funding the whole thing.. back in my reality I was a trillionaire.. Brian has money sure.. but he is a multi millionaire.. it's not the same thing.. [ very dreamily ] every computer in every company business, every smartphone on the planet without exception.. had my companies code on the ROM chip.. and they had pay us to do that.. now I'm as broke as Alan..'skint' as he would put it..

Jeannine snaps out of her dreams: saddening don't you think??

Lep: sure is, boss.

The two rejoin the group..

Alain: So.. I totally agree with Cap.. this is a project worthy of our attention but like Jeannine was saying don't get involved unless we can 100% be sure what we are doing is right..

Jeannine thinks in french: I didn't quite say that but his intentions are noble..

Alain: because if we have practised it is better to perfect non?

Cap: Agreed.

Ares: Agreed.

Rest of the group except Lep and Jeannine..

Group: agreed.

Later at the bank.. Brian and Alan

Teller: But you need a bank account to deposit money sir.. and you need to be a resident of the USA to create a new account..

Brian: isn't this.. a one world democracy??

Teller: yes but the 'Great Leader' [ pauses with love in his eyes ].. didn't change the laws sir.. he only made sure we feel love.

Alan to Brian: geez a go..

Alan to Teller in an American accent: Hi.. sorry for my British friend, he just doesn't get cultures!

Brian grunts with disapproval of Alan's dig at him.

Alan to Teller: My name is Peter Parker.. I live in Queens.. could I open a bank account today? We have a sizable amount to deposit..

Teller: Ohw.. then that's fine sir! [happily].. you can even meet the manager if you would like?

Alan: Is that going to be faster.. we have things to do today..

Teller: I'm sure the manager will do it speedily..

Alan: sounds great!

The teller goes and gets the manager.. she is a somewhat attractive older woman.. grey hair but good looking..

M: please gentlemen.. follow me [big smile]

Alan: sure!

They follow her into her office, she leaves the door open.. they all sit down.. but then she says

M: ohw I forgot the forms! silly me! hehe.. be right back.. don't yous go anywhere!

She exits the open door

Alan: Is jist me oar is she the *double* o' Madonna wæ grey hair???

Brian: Madonna.. you mean.. no! you mean the 80s pop idol.. I suppose but keep your cool..

Alan: fliippp.. wis a huge fan o' hers!.. Petey wis a'naw bit widnæ tell folk! Ah dunno how Ah kin keep this up.. it's pretty surreal.. we're in a alternate reali.. [sound of ruffled papers ]

The manager comes back in. Alan shuts up.

M: sorry about that..

Alan: Don't worry about it ma'am..

M: Ma'am?.. why don't you just call me Louise.. I'm Ms. Louise Ciccone..

Alan: Peter Parker.. Louise..

M: That.. can't be true.. you're Spider-Man?.. I mean you look like him but..

Alan and Brian's eyes lock in panic.

Alan thinks: noo.. noo.. erm.. right Petey boy musta came oot here sa.. aye

Alan: I can give you short demonstration if you would like Louise.. but for humiliating me into party tricks I would have to ask we get your top package for your lowest priced maintenance..

M: Ah!.. I'm so sorry.. it's just it's quite the claim and..

Alan web zips her pen off the desk.. then twirls it in his fingers..

M: Oh I am SO SORRY MR. PARKER!!.. yes of course the Gold Package account.. we will cut the maintenance rates to 1% from 5%.. with 6% interest and a US trust bond approval

Alan: now you are talking! .. let's please get this done quickly Louise.. as you know Spider-Man is a busy guy!

M: .. [awe struck] ..[ to Brian] you're probably a superhero too!.. wow..

Alan: .. busy guy here waiting with tons of cash..

M: yes totally. just fill in this form and here [ gives Alan a debit card ].. I'll have this card linked to the account by the time you leave the building Mr. Parker! .. I just need the basics and I'll do ALL the paperwork.

Alan fills in Aunt May's address and a few of Peter's details that he can remember..

Alan: this okay?

M: this is fine!

Brian pickups and drops the gym bag with a thud to make a point..

Louise starts furiously hitting the Teller button and trying to get eye contact with a teller..

The Teller comes in..

Louise: the bag needs counted.. then returned.

Teller: [opens the bag and fingers a few notes].. this is 90s money!.. before the Great Leader..

Louise: It's still valid Tim! just take it, count it and shut up!

Teller to Alan and Brian: yous have no idea what she's like to work for!

Alan thinks: ye crazy person! shes Madonna!.. a Superstar! and ye work in a bank fur her? Bet yur awe mouthy tæ her a'naw.. an' ur nasty ahun her back.. talkin' aboot her.. thinkin' she's no fly tæ ye.. bit she is!

The Teller leaves with the bag.

Louise: If there's nothing else gentlemen..

Alan distracted: naw ..[realized] oops little bit of southern creeped out there.. no Louise.. everything is fine. And thank you very much for dealing with us personable like..

Brian's eyes pinch a little.

Louise: That's great! .. and concludes our business! yous be sure to have a great day!

Alan: and you ma'.. I mean Louise! [big smile]

The Teller returns the gym bag as they are walking out of the bank..

Then outside:

Brian: HAHA! [tears of laughter rolling down cheeks] I just about burst when you said [puts on accent] 'personable like'.. what is this??.. a Western?? HAHA

Alan: Hau!.. Ah wis American afore Ah wis Scottish!.. bit aye miby Ah'll take the pelter oan thyt wan..

Brian: .. .. Dunno what you just said at the end there..

Alan in English: man this is a day for languages & accents.. I said I will take your jibe at me and treat it fairly..

Brian: sorry.. wasn't being mean.. just didn't know..

Alan: næ worries.. bit.. dinnæ make mæ speak too much hInglish! [raises a finger]

Brian: okay .. 'personable like'.. [soft laughter] hehe

Back at the Marquis.. everyone is packing up and getting ready..

Jeannine to Alain & Ares: I hope Brian remembers to keep cash.. these rooms weren't free..

Alain: it's the modern age.. they will given him a card..

Jeannine: ohw.. of course.. oui!

At Susan Storm Real Estate & Law... Dave is sitting across from Susan.. he was bumped up twice until he got to meet her.. under the desk he is massively aroused..

Dave thinks: naw.. naaaww.. it's lit yur maw oar somhin.. oar big sister.. go'at tæ shake this feelin'.. it's no right! .. somhin wrang wæ ma heid..

Susan: you okay? you have been staring at my cleavage for a full 30 seconds without saying anything.. I'm going to go ahead and make this easy for you.. if you want us to have a date.. I think you're cute.. and I like Scotsmen.. If you want us to have a date while your friends are looking the place around.. we can do that.. but..

Dave speaking English: I'm SO SORRY.. no.. yes.. that would be great!

Susan: so.. tomorrow the 14th and I have booked yous a local hotel for the night.

Susan stands up and out reaches her hand for a handshake.

Dave thinks: ohw flip! ohw flip! Ah cannæ staun up! Ah cannæ staun up!.. it'll bang aff the desk n' everyhin!

Dave bravely stands up with his massive arousal and shakes Susans hand..

Susan looks to his erection: You can bring that if you like.. it may come in *handy* [makes a hand rubbing gesture] ..

Dave: ahhumm

Susan: no penetrative sex on a first date.. so don't even bring a condom if I see one, I'm out of there! but we can have some fun..

Dave: ..wow.

Susan: you're definitely not a player.. I'm kind impressed with such a massive.. [sigh] .. talent.. most men become players.. I know I'm a player.. but you'll have to date me a few times to find out why [wink]

Dave is froze in terror of bumping into things

Susan touches him on the shoulder.. as she escorts him out of her office..

Susan: its okay.... now I want you to do something for me please David.. I want you to work on 'talking to girls I am attracted to'.. okay?

Dave: okay. [awkward smile]

Dave thinks: jist her smell is driving mæ nuts!!

Dave (forgetting to speak English): see ye the mora Susan..

Susan: see? not that hard [wink].. see ye the mora David! [smiles]

An hour later back at the hotel, everyone is packed and ready and waiting in the foyer.. Dave is still in a daze..

Jeannine to Siobhan: well he did insist on going...

Siobhan: give da guy a break.. he's bin laid less dan yurself!

Jeannine: true, true.

Jeannine to group:

IS EVERYONE READY?

Group:

YES!

Jeannine: Alan can you pay for the hotel please?

Alan: Aye Ah'm oan it!

Jeannine: LET'S GO.. stay with the group..

Ares with a funny voice from the back

Ares: yes mother!

Jeannine: hey!

mixed giggles from the group.

Alan comes outside.. on the sidewalk..

Jeannine: Siobhan.. can you teleport us all there please?

Siobhan: yes boss!

Green transparent balls surround each member and then quickly get smaller til they vanish.

The group appear at the place they had a confab about Captain America being Hydra..

Jeannine.. I don't think this is it.. we need the hotel..

Siobhan: but Ah dunno where dat is boss.. need satnav!

Dave is staring at the Avengers building.. with loads of hope in his eyes.. like a new start.. like all the rejection he felt from Reed will be washed away.. in having his date with Sue, it'll all somehow be fixed.. then great angst.. Sue is pure, like a snowflake untouched.. what is he doing.. this is crazy.. he is so confused..

20 minutes later the group are at the hotel. It is a motel by a cliff in front of the sea.. it's around 8 o'clock in the evening and dark.. Alan comes out the room shirtless fresh from a shower, steam coming off the top half of his body. Ares wearing a black Yanni tour T-Shirt gestures him over.. the two sit on the ground close to the cliff edge..

Ares: sooo.. just bedding the little lady were we?

Alan: wit??.. an' it's ladies noo..

Ares: y'know.. you shouldn't have the monopoly on the ladies in this group man! Isabella was fair game..

Alan: is this your wæy o' stærtin' a fight?

Ares: What if it is?

Alan: listen mate.. it's no me ye huv tæ bæ worried aboot.. Siobhan is riȝht happy the noo.. and if ye make her angry..

Ares: I could take Lep on!.. I'm strong.. and brave..

Alan: huh? [stunned] wit wid ye dæ??.. the macarena? huv a 'dance-aff' wæ her?

Ares: Well.. I could.. or .. I suppose.. no she would turn me into disco-ball wouldn't she?

Alan: Ayyeee! oar worse..

[Alan pauses for a second]

Alan: noo.. Ah'm fallin' in love wæ Isabella a'naw.. an' Ah huv deep affection fur thyt lassie.. an' yur right.. its no the 'bro code' tæ hoover up awe the lassies, an' lee yur bros dry.. bit since ma lassie likes o'er lassies.. thys wis an exception.. Ah feel

Ares: As long we understand it wasn't the bro thing to do.. and yes I get now that it's an exception.. BUT if we have chance of another lassie joining us..

Alan: dinnæ dæ thyt! mixin' Scots wæ hInglish hing.. 'lassie'..poor taste.. bit aye.. we're awe commit'yt sa.. aye Ah'll back ye up unless she's a psycho.. [much softer spoken] Ah owe ye thyt at least..

They both look out at the ocean.. enjoying the stillness..

Alan: wit aboot Jeannine?

Ares sadly: I think she's super hot!..but her personality and mine.. clash quite badly.. always scolding me.. she once punched me in the face for staring..

Alan: at her boobs??

Ares: shoulder...

Alan: wit??

Ares: I know.. she had some blood on her shoulder.. and I stopped listening.. and begun staring.. no. that was the moment I realized I should never try *anything* romantic or sexual with her.. the attraction just drained out of me.

Alan: ohw man.. Ah'm sorry tæ hear thyt.. does she bully folk?

Ares: no.. just me a bit.. I could cut her in half..

Alan: but she's in yur heid?

Ares: nooo.. this is my 'family' my friends.. she's the boss.. she's actually a pretty good boss.. pretty organized.. but she thinks because I am tough and don't feel it, she can hit me whenever she likes.. you've seen her Alan.. slapping me on the back of the head when she thinks I've said something stupid..

Alan: tæ bæ honest Ares.. Ah dinnæ think she does thyt.. ohw she slaps ye oan the back o the heid.. but when ye've done somhin stup'yt.. sa.. aye she shouldnæ bæ dæn thyt.. although.. Ah heard aboot yursel an' Deadpool wrecking the first mobile base...

Ares: it's true.. we messed up..

Alan: if that wis mæ.. Ah wida done a load mær thun slap ye on the back o' the heid!

Ares: fair point.

The two enjoy the stillness again.. until it's broken with.. sounds in the distance

Lep: ohw flip its oan fyre! ye'll bæ lucky if Ah'll be able tæ git dat burn out!

[girly laughing]

Ares: I've lived a long life Alan..

Alan: Aye.. Ah ken mate..

Ares: before I teamed up with Jeannine and the gang.. I was working odd jobs with Deadpool for MODOK.. weird fellow.. before that I was back in Mount Olympus.. short lived..

Alan: wit happened atween yursel an' Surtur?

Ares: [very sadly] ohw.. that.

Alan: naw... its aweright mate.. dinnæ tell mæ.. Ah kin tell it's a skeen hing.

Ares nods.

Peaceful silence.. they both stare at the ocean..

Alan: Better git back tæ the lassies..

Ares: laters [smile]

Alan: laterz bro.

[Alan pats him on the shoulder in passing as he walks back to the motel room]

As Alan walks back up to the room.. he sees Isabella is in Jeannine's room.. we join Isabella and Jeannine talking.. Jeannine's room door is open and Isabella is holding a bucket of ice, Isabella is wearing a peach cami and matching peach lycra briefs.. bare feet. Jeannine is wearing a Vanessa Paradis tour t-shirt and black/dark blue jeans..

Isabella: Thank you very much for the ice Donita..

Jeannine interrupts: Jeannine! [as she makes direct eye contact]

Isabella: Ah! si.. Jeannine [smiles].. are you well? has your shoulder healed?

Jeannine: Thank you for asking.. the answer is: yes and no.. well.. it's strange, it's much better than before.. I feel the further and further we move from that reality the weaker and weaker the effects of the sword..

[ We flash to a dark earth .. there Admiral David 'Legion' Haller is in the Division 3 cafeteria with the strongest reality warpers surrounding him in a circle.. he is 'vampiring' energy from them..when he stops floating.. hits the floor.. he is exhausted, but manages to utter 'Lep where are you??'.. this is what remains of the 61311 reality.. everyone sleeps an endless sleep.. on a dark world.. lit by a very close and very small star ]

Jeannine: it's really weird.. as the sword should no longer exist and so have no influence.. but here I am..and on occasion I still feel twitches of pain..

As Jeannine is saying 'twitches' Siobhan puts her hand through a green portal and pinches Isabella's bum.. then makes another portal for her face to speak through..

Isabella: Ouch! [sad face] meany!

Siobhan: Ah wis bein flirty!.. where's da ice? 2 minutes ye said.. 10 minutes ago..

Jeannine: Siobhan! you have been warned.. no portals around civilians or civilian locations!.. we strive not to be amateurs.. oui?

Siobhan: yes boss. [Siobhan closes the portal]

Jeannine: Your lover is waiting.. you must not disappoint..

Isabella: hmmm.. maybe I should.. I'm the real girl in this relationship.. hehehe

Jeannine: heheh .. that's very unlike you!

Isabella: I have two people that love me!.. why sh..

Siobhan interrupts from the other room: ISABELLA.. ur ye comin back oar not??

Isabella with much alarm: I MUST GO Donita.. I mean Jeannine.. I don't want Ms. Siobhan to be mad at me!

Jeannine [smiles] : GO! hehe

The next day a stretched limo arrives for the group, they all pile in except Dave..

Dave to Jeannine: erm.. Ah huv a date.. sa..

Jeannine from the limo: but we need you there to inspect the facilities..

Dave: erm.. Ah've go`at an idea aweready..

Jeannine annoyed.

Dave: erm.. it'll bæ fine.. jist an hour..

Dave shuts the limo door.

The limo drives off and Dave turns round to see Susan standing in front of her white Audi..

Susan: Hello handsome! hehe..

Dave: Hello yourself beautiful!

Susan: hehe.. listen.. before we made this date.. I didn't know this was such a hick town.. all they have is a convenience store, an arcade, a macD's and this motel..

Dave: ohw! [now thinking she is backing out of the date.. he feels dread]

Susan: why the long face??.. I'm thinking.. we should grab a macD's, a room and get drunk on cheap booze! [big smile]

Dave: ohw! [big smile].. that sounds great!

In the limo Ares is playing with all the settings as he has never been in limo before.. he is also holding a open half drunk bottle of champagne..

Ares: NOT BAD [big cheesey smile]

Jeannine: don't get too drunk if you break anything we need to pay for it!

Ares slightly drunk: righto boss!

The limo pulls up to the empty Avengers building.. the group get out..

Jeannine: Susan gave me the keys.. but you would think keys would be a bit low tech for this place..

Jeannine opens the door and they all go in, the place is very dusty.. like an abandoned mall.

Brian: I wonder how long it has been since their 'Great Leader' took over? 10?15? years?

Jeannine picks up a dusty magazine from the floor.. it has the 'Great Leader' on the cover

Jeannine: it's from July 2009.. 11 years..

*Various coughing from the group because of the dust*

Jeannine: *cough* can you clean this up please Siobhan?

Siobhan: yes boss.. once Ah hav had a little look around..

Scene: Back at the motel Dave and Susan have a room, they are making out on the bed, a little drunk. two empty bottles of booze lay on the floor along with empty MacD's wrappers and paper bag.

Scene: Alan starts zipping around the building, JJ begins teleporting himself to each room.. while the rest walk around as a group..

Alan back to the group: They huv a hanger fur aircraft!.. thyt's cool!

5 minutes later..

Alan back to the group: They huv an enginnerin' room.. wæ mæst o' the stuff gone.. bit still some stuff!

5 minutes later..

Alan back to the group: They huv wit Ah'm thinkin' is a bio-lab.. bit Ah cannæ git iyn.. needs a security cærd..

JJ back to the group: He's correct. I was just inside. Looks both very serious and.. untouched.

Jeannine: you ready Siobhan?

Siobhan to self: OKAY T'INK Bewitched!!

Alan: oar.. yon Disney movie..

Siobhan: NO WAY!.. dat movie freaked mæ out as a kid!

Siobhan glows a near blinding green and cleans the entire base of dust and organises the first 3 above ground floors..

Siobhan: da two lower levels.. also Ah tink there's more hidden..anyways.. Ah didn't touch coz Ah didn't know what Ah wis doin.. seem clean tæ mæ anyways.. from what Ah could feel.

Alan: We'll need tæ git Dave up here fur a swatch..

In the motel room.. Dave is laying in bed half uncovered while Susan lays next to him on her left side facing away under the sheets, she has a smile. We look down over the two as Dave stairs at the ceiling, the ceiling fan just to our right.. he is in shock..

Dave thinks: WIT THE FLIP JIST HÆPPENED?.. wow.. thyt wis.. such a surprise, didnæ know Ah could.. dæ thyt much.. her a'naw.. this bed is soaked atween the two o' us. As first dates go.. this is a belter!.. FLIP!! [Dave feels sudden anguish]

We scene through Dave's mind:

First time he met FBR.

Sue cooking him a fish supper so he didn't miss home so bad.

Reed's handwritten letter to him saying to come to NYC.

The year Ben lost his powers and Dave brought him Chinese food and listened to his stories of being in the service.

Johnny always promising to set Dave up [but he never did].. Dave even overheard him say 'you don't want to encourage the help Reed' [ we see Dave's eyes annoyed in present time] Dave thinking: he even hud a go at Alicia, Ben's girlfriend, for bein' blind!

Watching Saturday morning cartoons with FBR.

The time he caught Sue coming out of the shower..

Dave thinks: whoa!.. thys is crazy!

Dave doesn't realize it but he ever so softly uttered the word crazy as he thought it..

Susan turns around..

Susan: yeah.. quite a mess you made.. we made!.. don't think I'll get the deposit back! hehe.. total surprise to me too when I jetted so much! hehe

Dave in English: yeah.. we should do this more often.. me and my friends will be up here for the next.. I dunno.. couple of months?

Susan: whoa there Highlander! .. no way I'm just coming up here to service you! hehe.. if you like we can date, but.. y'gotta come down to NYC and do things on a 50/50 basis.. I'm no chump!

Dave: yeah we can do that..

Susan: what happened to.. the Scots?.. kinda liked it.. turned me on a bit..

Dave: aye næ bother..

Susan: that's better! [smile].. listen I need to get back to NYC.. got an empire to run!.. and I imagine your friends will be looking for you! So lets praise the Great Leader for his love and meet again.. soon. [Susan kisses him on the lips then gets up and gets dressed]

Dave thinks: ohw man.. thyt's the first time she talked aboot bein brainwa`shed..[guilty feelings].. miby need tæ work oot how tæ git her unbrainwa`shed.

Back at the Avengers base, the group are settling in to the crew quarters. Ares has found the bar, he and Zero are having a libation to put it mildly. A taxi rolls up and Dave gets out..

Dave to Taxi Driver: jist need tæ git the cash..

Brian is sitting on the bench behind him eating sandwiches..

Brian: didn't you even see me??.. I'm sitting right here!

Brian pays the Taxi Driver.

Dave: hanks! apprecit'yt!

Brian nods..

Brian: well??

Dave: well wit?

Brian: this place! the facilities! thought out of all of us you'd be the most enthusiastic!

Dave: aye.. sorry Bri.. heids in the bin the noo..

Brian: hehe.. Bri.. I like that!.. and y'know.. I'm not the scary BritNat monster.. often Alan paints me to be. Tell me your troubles Dave..

The two sit on the bench and talk..

Dave: sa.. ye ken the Fantastic Four aye?

Brian: personally. yes.

Dave: aye we didnæ meet back then.. bit they hud mentioned ye a couple o' times.. said ye wir a staun up dude.. Reed a'naw, thought ye wir a 'reasonable engineer'.. high praise comin fæ Reed Richards!

Brian: wow.. I didn't know that. But.. with care.. kindly.. what does that have to do with.. ohw Susan Storm.. yes Alain mentioned this to me in passing.. whats the problem there?

Dave: Is it riȝht tæ sully a sna'flake?.. tæ tarnish somhin ye regærd ays pure?

Brian: as a friend.. and I do hope we are friends..

Dave: aye..

Brian: as a friend.. I don't see the problem.. do what you like with this version of Susan so long as you are aware she is NOT Sue.. she is someone else and so a free agent.

Dave: Aye næ doubt.. Ah go`at thyt afore Bri.. bit.. the look o' her.. the sound o' her voice.. the smell.. aww flip the smell drives mæ up the wa's.

Brian: mental exercises.. just every so often remind yourself.. she never met Reed.. she never met you before us.. she has no children.. wait, does she?

Dave: naw, næ weans..

Brian: so.. she's not the same person Dave.

Dave: hanks Bri.. helped a wee tiny bit hearin' fæ somwan else mate..

Brian nods.

Scene week 1:

Large machine that explodes and blows a rift into the multiverse which Lep and JJ manage to close.

Scene week 2:

Large machine that minturaizes everyone in the proximity. Lep fixes them.

Scene Week 3:

Large machine that opens a portal to the Amalgam-verse. Super Soldier, Bastille and CyboHawk come through.

[In a cave far away, this realities, Reality-538's Nighthawk.. we see the rear left quarter of his skull is replaced with both cyborg and clockwork parts.. he receives a signal! his first sign of any non-brainwashed life in 11 years. He traces the signal back to the Avengers building and then hacks into the camera and mics.]

After two hours they leave as the portal collapses.

*(Bastille; female, grey The Thing amalgam Darkseid. CyboHawk amalgam Nighthawk and Cyborg)

One week later.. Nighthawk is looking upon the old Avengers building, he can digitally see inside and is watching the group and listening in..

NH: Soon!.. Soon I will find out if I can trust yous!

END OF PART ONE!

Reality Avengers Tri-Annual Initiation.

Part Two:

The Ingenious Nighthawk-538

The Intoxicating Leprechaun

The Dauntless Silver-Spider

Part Three:

Reality Avengers Tri-Annual Conclusion.

------------------------------

Reality-Avengers (Euro-Avengers) Tri-Annual [Fanfic] : Part Two

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Part Two:

------------------

The Ingenious Nighthawk-538
----------------------------
The Intoxicating Leprechaun
------------------
Interview With the Author: Meet Dava
------------------
The Dauntless Silver-Spider
------------------

The Ingenious Nighthawk
Reality-538

Chapter 1.

A child sits alone on the steps of a water garden's mansion grounds, he has red hair and a sad expression on his face. He watches as his father gets in his car to go on yet another business trip. The car is a Ford Silver Ghost in black. As the car drives by dust is thrown up causing the child to cough.

We see him later pretend fencing with the gardener, he has a mop and the gardener has a rake, blunt ends facing each other. We see the maid (who is also his governess) watching them with a smile on her face, she is 80 years old at least. She is making a dandelion & plum pie, she does not notice she is putting clothes washing powder instead of sugar.. as she happily watches the two playing. This brand of washing powder has not been available for many years, taken off the market due to the allergic reactions of its customers.

Once the pie is ready she leaves it on the counter too cool, while she teaches the boy his studies.

The lady of the house is sitting in the mansion library.. a smell of sweet plums wafts, the lady of the house's belly rumbles and her mouth waters. She goes into the kitchen and takes a slice with a large chef's knife, she is halfway through eating when she collapses with a 'THUD!'.. we look down to the floor and see the knife has gotten itself embedded through her forearm, she is unconscious and a massive pool of blood on the floor is growing ever so massive by the second*.

[ *in the original 616 she died of suicide by slitting her wrists, unable to bare being alone from her husband so often. But in 538, her and her husband were estranged and both had agreed to take lovers, he his secretary and her the chauffeur. In 538 they were just waiting until Kyle was old enough for a divorce, both parents were atheists. ]

The maid finds the lady and goes and tells the gardener to fix her up and put her in bed. The maid then goes and gets the child. The child has the opportunity to say 'goodbye' to his mother. She dies.

The chauffeur returns from dropping the master of the house at the airport. He then phones the police and who in turn tell him to phone the coroner's office.

The child stands in shock with the main double doors of the house at his back.. he is wearing a yellow T-shirt and red shorts.. but his mind wanders.. and in his mind he is wearing a superhero costume.. one of a bird with a red cape.. that can fly away.. high into the sky away from all these troubles!

Chapter 2.

Kyle is a troubled teen.. sometimes he loses touch with reality, sometimes he bullies people, sometimes he is kind and nice, heroic even.. but whenever he is stressed, his dark thoughts come out.. his suspicions, darker traits.

Currently we see he is in University. Grayburn University, a very exclusive school for only the richest of students. There he met Mindy Williams and they fell in love. For the first time, Kyle did not feel constantly on the edge of stress and even stopped hallucinating he was wearing the superhero costume & hallucinating he could fly.The two began an intimate relationship after a year. Kyle slowly became addicted to the intimacy, which was missing from his family life, that feeling of being loved. Over the course of the next 12 months his grades began to slip and he began to fail his mid terms.

As the Uni stress bared down on him these hallucinations returned, so he began drinking regularly and heavily. While on a date with Mindy he decided to steal a kiss on a turn, the car crashed into a tree and both were blown from the car. Kyle landing in a river on fire, the river water extinguishing the fire of his burning clothes while Mindy laying by the road side on the grass smoldering. As Kyle sits next to her lifeless body.. he hallucinates .. a 'devil' coming out of the fire of the car.. a fiery shapeless shape.. he looks at the the fire with wildness in his eyes.. but then takes shape.. he looks like Daredevil..

Two years later.. Kyle has joined the Defenders as the persona known as 'Nighthawk'. He is a stand-in-replacement for Tony Stark, Kyle often covers the legal matters, insurance costs and technology. Even though all of this and much has changed.. he still believes Daredevil was somehow involved in Mindy's death, even though this is merely self-denial of his own part and guilt in the matter. He has a suit to help him fly and has taken a concoction to give him increased strength and stamina.. although his imaginations tell him.. he can fly on his own and that his strength and stamina only work at night.. these are untrue.

When the Beyonder cause the massive 'Love Shift' as Kyle would call it.. he as Nighthawk was chasing someone through the NY sewers.

11th, July, 2009 : 3 PM

The dark figure.. vaguely looks like Daredevil.. Kyle is confused and becomes startled when the figure turns round to hug him.. he batters through a grate to spike his head on a pipe. THU-Wack!

Chapter 3.

Kyle awakens in a hospital. Matt Murdock and many of the Defenders are at his bedside..

Matt: You had another psychotic break Kyle, but things have changed since you slept..

Kyle feels the left side back of his head.. it seems to have been replaced with circuitry and a few clockwork parts.

Matt: The clockwork parts were Doc Strange's idea.. so even if you run out of juice you have a secondary system. Don't worry they are somehow mystical..

Defenders group laughs.

Matt: So do you feel it Kyle?? The Love our leader has for us and us for him?? isn't it glorious??

Kyle pauses in disbelief and thinks: What a bunch of morons! What on earth is going on?? Better act the part or they may get suspicious.

Kyle smiles and nods sardonically.

One year later..

Kyle has a bunker, an old disused Manhattan subway stop, but not one of the fancy ornate ones, this was a maintenance stop for the subway cars, it is small and dank, has only three rooms.. one of which Kyle has made a makeshift lab and computer room with many screens.

Kyle has spent his time wisely watching the Beyonder. Trying to learn if they have any weaknesses.

Chapter 4.

Kyle only leaves his room for food or sleep.. it has been 11 years since the Love Shift.. but this time he has fell asleep in front of the computer screen. He awakes to a piercing noise in his left ear and a strange headache.. he gathers his senses more and puts in the neural link cable from his computer to the jack in his head.

As he thinks the computer does. He begins searching the source of the signal.. and there it is! A person called 'Cybo-Hawk'.. who is at the Avengers building... Kyle begins to watch. He learns the two teams are from different realities. And that one has setup base there.

Chapter 5.

2 weeks later..

Nighthawk has been observing the team from afar, with sensory data, such as sonically, infra-red and infra-green. Dave manages to get into one the hidden computer rooms and restores the power.

Nighthawk suddenly hears the same squeal and pain in the left side of his head..then a message:

Hello traveller. This is the Janus Project. If the world is ever mass brainwashed we rely on others outside the sphere of influence to rectify humanities true path. Please join us and become great amongst us.. [ fizz ] as Nighthawk pushes a button to stop the pain.

[ END .. TBC in Reality Avengers Annual Part Three]

The Intoxicating Leprechaun

Ayr, Scotland 1979.. a young girl is shouting at her parents, she slams the door behind her. Her mother is Irish, her father is Scottish.

We pan out from the house to see it is a small old two floor detached building.. the place is a small croft.

Her father says: Ah kent we shouldnæ left Ireland, troubles oar næ, Scotland is a hærd place tæ live..
Mother: Ah'm fynly versed.. she husnæ shut up aboot Ireland since we moved.. Ah could write a book..
Father: me a'naw..

8 years later the couple of back in Ireland, they formerly were from outside of Donegal, they now have a small farm outside of Dublin. The daughter is earning her Masters in sociology, she is 4 years in to her 6 year course. She commutes daily via the bus and doesn't get home to after dark.

One weekend the local pub puts on a dance.. the daughter decides to go, there she meets a man, he is 2 years older being 26. He is a farm hand.. he is big and strong, a little fat and a little funny.. she laughs for the first time in many years, outside she laughs again and then cries before they become intimate.

2 months later the two are looking very somber standing before her parents...

Father: Riȝht.. Ah'm goin hame tæ Scotland!

Daughter bursts into tears.

Mother: Aye.. Ah'm comin tæ! The auld croft is still jist sittin there!

Father to the couple: keep the færm.. dæ wit ye wa'nt.. nearly broke us tæ put ye through Uni.. thrown awæy! Shame æfter awe the beggin an work tæ git in.. 2 mær years..

The daughter bursts out in a new flood of tears..

A 2 year old talks to her parents, trying to explain to them the properties of trigonometry and how it relates to the cause and effect..

An 8 year old girl graduates University with a BSc in natural science.

7 years later..a father is telling his 15yo daughter.. 'ye have tæ save us!.. yer smart enough to do much anythin..me an yer mither need money!'

The girl's name is Siobhan the year is 2003.. she is NOT happy that her family's fortunes are reliant on her,

She spends her summers with her maternal grandparents in Ayr and winters with her paternal grandparents in Cork..she thinks about those times as she wanders down the country road to the village.

Standing outside of the village shop.. after 5 to 10 minutes of meandering, she notices a strange piece of paper in the bush.. she goes closer to inspect.. it's a washed out 5 Punt note. She waits around until a farm hand is going into the shop..

Siobhan: here! git mæ 2 bottles o' cider an Ah'll gee ye wan o' thum!

He agrees. 5 minutes later he emerges from the shop with 2 three liter bottles of cider. He hands one to her and says 'as per our deal' and he winks at her..

Siobhan thinks 'winking is SO COOL!.. Ah must do dat more!' 20 minutes later and Siobhan has wandered up the country road sipping the cider..

Through a gate, as she sits behind a wall.. time has gently passed and half the bottle is empty.. Siobhan for the first time in her life.. feels like 'everything is going to be OK'.. a golden glow very slowly washes with waves over her again and again..

An older farmer is surprised to discover her.. he says: ohw this won't do at all.. whos yer parents? Ah'm goiny tell thum!' Siobhan says 'nooo' and turns round on her knees to grab him by the hips to stop him, but his dungarees come down and Siobhan is faced with [ REDACTED ] she then decides to [ REDACTED ] he quickly [REDACTED] with surprise, then she [ REDACTED ]

Siobhan drunk: ' Now ye cannæ tell me Ma! ha!'
Farmer: Ah.. Ah dunno wit tæ say!.. Ah'm so embarrassed.. ye shouldnæ have done dat!.. Ah'm still goiny tell yer Ma!.. even if its gets mæ oan the ill side o' the Garda!'
Siobhan sadly: do whatevercha wa'nt! Ah should prolly jist do mesel in!'
Farmer: wow.. dat's dark!.. miby ye need a break an' a kindness.. Ah'll jist take ye hame.
Siobhan sadly: tank'ye.. affy kind.

Siobhan is 18 years old and is working in a Hydra government clean laboratory, she is living in Dublin with her stoner boyfriend, whom she describes to herself as 'boring her out of her tiny mind.. but man is he hot!' 6 months after working there, she gets in trouble for drinking during lunch time..

By the age of 24 Siobhan has moved back home.. she now has 3 doctorates, 5 masters and 12 bachelors.. but she works in the local pub as a barmaid. She has embarked on every type of relationship .. including 500 men and 90 women from the 5 surrounding villages.

One dark night walking home through a field.. pretty drunk.. a streak of green in the sky.. Siobhan looks up to see a meteor strike her in the chest..

Asif stop motion sped up..2 days go by.. Siobhan is in a short term coma.. then she opens her eyes and sees herself transform.. green energy is coming off her and she looks down to see she is floating.. she can't remember who or where she is..

In a daze Siobhan wanders over fields and hills for hours.. next thing she is standing outside chinese restaurant staring into the window.. watching the TV .. the TV show was 'World's Most Famous Hauntings & Myths'..

Siobhan begans haunting Dublin as a vaporus green ghost, she also moved in to someones house, the person saw her and was too afraid to return, she would sleep and watch TV there.. the daze never quite wore off.. she is often confused about who she is..

One very late night while watching a documentary on Bavarian Cream pastries.

Siobhan: need tæ git mæ wan o' dem!'

The rest picks up from:

Euro-Avengers #2 Matter of Opinion

----------

Intermission

An Interview with the Author.. meet Dava

Q: Hello.. can you tell us who you are and little about yourself?

Dava: Hi.. I'm Dava.. I'll do this in English, even though I am Scottish and speak/write in Scots as my first language. I'm currently 45yo, from the West Coast.. not the US one hehe.. the 'other' one in Scotland. I am a fan of Marvel and DC.. in my teens I was an OG reader of the comics and had a load of Todd McFarlane comics slip through my hands.. wish I would have kept them :) .. worth quite the shiny penny now I should imagine!

I support Scottish Independence and don't gloss over the complicated history England has had with the nations of these isles.. no need to be nasty about it, but no need to cover the truth either; the English do not come out favorably should you read their history from another nations perspective.

Q: What inspired you to write these fanfics?

Dava: With the cancellation of Netflix Marvel.. I was 'Jones-ing'.. get it.. Jessica Jones? hehe.. aanyways I was jonesing for some more Marvel, I had been writing DC fanfic on my other blog for DCUO.. I am currently retired from DCUO due to some choices of the Devs.. but I have over 5000h of league staff experience on that game, the vast majority being a League Boss.

I came up with the character of Alan McKay.. as an offshoot from the Clone Saga, the Scottish Spider-Man.. it didn't make a lot of sense at first but things just started falling into place..

Q: And Shobhan O'Connell .. the Leprechaun.. don't you feel like you are stereotyping, even perhaps to an offensive degree?

Dava: That's the thing about comics.. stereotype or die.. look at Batroc the Leaper, he is an awful stereotype, borderline racist .. the leaper meaning legs he is French so frogs legs... I find that truly awful when I think about it.. but y'know what? people remember.. making Batroc meaningful to people so they won't forget who he is and what he does.. making a character is like making a brand, and its most of all important that people remember them, then secondly that everyone is represented, coming third is that everything must make sense.. and all this is in keeping with the original comics.

Q: But you didn't do that yourself.. with Alan McKay.. what do Spiders have to do with Scotland?

Dava: So your saying.. I made 'The Angry Spider-Man' and put him in where? LA?.. no I put him in Scotland, Scotland known for it's.. rowdy inhabitants.. 'angry' you might say. hehe

About the spider.. the spider has a special place in Scotland's history, behind the Lion, Grouse, Stag and Unicorn.. is the spider.. the legend of Robert the Bruce, when defeated in battle and driven into exile, he was in a cave, he was totally dejected, thinking of giving up his fight to gain Scotland's freedom from the English.. but he watched a spider.. the wind would blow through the cave and tear the spider's web apart, but every time, the spider would begin again.. this is where we get the saying 'if at first you don't succeed; try try again.'

And indeed Robert the Bruce went on to free Scotland of England's rule and became King.

Q: wow..

Dava: yeah..

One of the rumoured spots is Dumbarton Castle, in my hometown of.. Dumbarton..I have been to that cave.. it's tiny, I have no idea how he was able to stay there. But as far as hiding spots go.. it's pretty impossible to find, even native Dumbartonians struggle.

Q: What inspired you to create Alan McKay specifically?

Dava: I remembered reading The Spectacular Spider-Man 190, July 1992*.. I started to think.. what if Peter Parker had a psychotic break, what if the story we saw was just in his mind? The story he told himself.. when in fact he killed Rhino.. just snapped and killed him and Doc Connors brought Rhino back, so Peter wouldn't get charged for murder.

*(Sal Buscema.. another great Artist. His 90s work reminds me of Todd's.. but that should probably be the other way around as Sal came first hehe. It's just I started looking out Todd's work for comics in the 90s, when I could afford Marvel and DC)

Alan McKay is very much Hulk meets Spider-Man, but the character is so much deeper than just those two combined.. Alan is dealing with heavy trauma, he had to watch what the Jackal did, he saw an unhealthy dose of existential horror; that life was so meaningless to Miles Warren .. dude was straight up Leatherface in a Lab coat!.. Alan has no way of processing this. I get Bruce Banner and his struggle to control his rage.. and yeah, Alan has this too.. but the flip side is Bruce *wants* to control his rage.. Alan is suppressing his emotions to the nth degree, because 90% of his emotions are rage and suspicion. But deep down he doesn't want to.

This also makes sense why his spider-sense is so strong.. he is Peter Parker's suspscion and rage.. so what was a slight tingle of danger for Peter is multi amplified into a screaming migraine for Alan, Peter had his DNA changed.. so the spider-sense must be a changed nerve. But take Alan.. he was *grown* with it.. so we go from nerve ending to gland size.

He also has a duality we haven't seen in the fanfic yet, he can have somewhat 'blackout rage fits' where he is operating but won't be able to recall everything that happened.. first snap is overwhelming blind rage, burns hot, second snap; he burns cold. Fully walking about and doing things.. but Alan isn't in the driver's seat.. his rage is.

Q: wow.. I never knew there was so much depth to Alan.
Q: Do you plan to go into this depth with Siobhan and Isabella in the future?..

Dava: We'll see.. Siobhan and Isabella should always have their light side.. with Alan, we know he is 90% pretending and just filling out his personality as best he can, Peter Parker's good sense of humor has helped Alan a lot.

Q: Siobhan is *very* R rated.. how do you think readers will respond to her, now we are getting to know her better?

Dava: To be honest.. I'm not sure, I wrote the above fanfic to explain to the readers who Siobhan was.. to give her background 'a deeper dive'.. because it could have felt forced if there was no explanation that.. she has always been hyper sexual.

Siobhan is trying to fill an unfillable void in her heart.. that she feels she only exists to make her parents money. And being how intelligent she is, she has understood this for a very long time. She feels she cannot change her parents and fiercely resents them, which means the hole in her heart is bigger than the things she tries.. and fails.. to fill it with.

I struggle with these ideas myself because I am Catholic and am a believer and this fanfic with its portions of what could be considered erotica, might not be ideal in conjunction with my faith.

However that said.. It's not a story anyone is telling.. whether due to poor taste or no-one is bold enough to pursue due to fear of backlash.. I don't know. Look at Siobhan herself.. she is a believer but she is very openly sexual and promiscuous..

Saint Paul says 'Everything is permissible for me' but not everything is beneficial. Food for the Stomach, but God will destroy them both. Stay away from sexual immorality.

Saint Paul is quoting Man's Law.. the law written on Man's hearts.. that Man (humans) can do anything and it's permissible (except Murder etc.. the things that are naturally wrong).. sex is so very complicated, to find a true benefit in something and not lose your faith.. maybe that is what we are seeing in Siobhan. And remember the power she has.. and still a believer, it wouldn't even cross her mind to behave in any braggadocious way. She loves God.. the only person she loves with a pure love.

Q: thanks for the interview.. we look forward to more great stories!

Dava: and you; have a great day!

----------------------------------------------------------

The Dauntless Silver-Spider

Two months since we last seen the team, the 'Reality Machine' is built and operational.. sweat is dripping off Dave's forehead as he tightens the last bolt.. however the navigation system still needs testing..

Dave: Thyt wis NO easy! hehe
Dave: Listen.. Ah wa'nt tæ test thys hing.. bit Ah mibe need some protection.. is there any whammy or somhin ye kin put oan mæ Siobhan?
Jeannine : That's a good idea!
Siobhan: erm.. Ah tink Ah might have somthin.. in mæ 'closet'
Alan mutters under breath: please dinnæ let thyt bæ a sex hing!
Dave: smashin'!

Lep (as Siobhan, wearing her street clothes) opens up her pocket dimension that she keeps all her little trinkets as she would put it..

She goes inside..

We see she has:

Many of Ares own made weapons
Many Stark made armor robots
The Mandarin's ten rings in a display case
Stormbreaker + Thor's belt of strength (leaning on the display case)
Odin's Gungnir Spear (leaning on the display case)
Various other plinths, many different coloured spiders in blocks of polyvinyl acetyl resin
Rick James' bass with the corner covered in blood (an obscured Rick James sticker)
Reeva Mora's* book of Lux and a few other books strewn around the floor..

(Reeva Mora, the Sorcerer Supreme of the Dark Elves during the 'dark times'.. to the Dark Elves; light was evil)

A Kree spaceship.. Shield Quinjet and Helicarrier.. the three monoliths
A Smashed up partial Cerebro Sphere with Cerebro Helmet
Wolverine's Adamantium skeleton in a glass case
A smashed white Vision in a glass case
Miles Warren screaming on fire in a glass case with Kurt Connors' original arm on display below
Ninja sword (Deadpool's?) stuck into the side of an empty MODOK chair covered in blood
A few broken 'reality check' collars laying on the floor next to El Farouk's hypnotic/dream (Trans-Soma) cane
Hulkbuster Ironman suit..
Many disco balls (Bee Gees autographed tour poster, ABBA autographed poster)
What looks like.. kryptonite?
Few cosmic cubes, a shard of an infinity stone (sitting on top of a very large 90s TV).. many other powerful objects..

Siobhan: AH! here it is!

She pulls out the Silver Surfer's board she kept from Thanos.. she turns round and everyone is in shock, mouths agape..

S: What??
Alan: How.. an' HOW??
Siobhan: well.. when tings get too intense.. occasionally Ah stop tyme and go oan a little shoapin spree..it really helps mæ unwind..

Everyone's jaw is wide open..

Siobhan annoyed: ye wantin it oar not??

Dave: aye thyt wid bæ smashin! che..

Alan interrupts: hau! How Ah'm Ah no gettin wan?.. Ah wid look rockin as 'The Silver Spider'
Siobhan sadly: Ah've only goat da one..
Dave: wow.. Ah dinnæ huv any powers.. bit ye'd take thyt aff mæ?

Alan flusters to make up an excuse because he really wants to see what he'd look like and what it would feel like to webswing and phase matter at the same time

Alan: and so.. yuv never hud powers, we dinnæ ken if yur any guid wæ thum! wit if ye turn evil??
Jeannine: ENOUGH OF THIS!.. give Dave the board Siobhan! we have been working hard for two months and we should be rejoicing over our work..
Siobhan: erm.. dats me boyfriend boss.. Ah'm really bad at making him unhappy... erm

Jeannine: what?

Siobhan hands Alan the board.

Alan: ya dancer!!

he puts the board down and it floats and as he stands on the board he says:

Næ mær gettin dragged aboot lit a wee puppy! this is mær lit it!

Alan transforms, he is now on a web covered board with a silver Spider-Man costume..

Silver-Spider: Riȝhto!.. Ah'll bæ back in a week.. oar two.. gauny go see wits oot yon [ looks out the window to the stars ]

Dave says as Alan leaves: Ah'll wait til Alan gits back afore we test thys Reality Machine.. in the meantime.. Ah've goat an auld pal tæ visit..

[We see a montage of the Silver Spider going around this reality.. Sovereign homeworld.. Celestials.. Contraxia..Sakaar.. much much further out In the 'Arm Galaxy' Mondus (Earth's twin with Marvel's off title prints.. Malibu Comics, Adventure Comics) .. they all say the same thing .. 'We love the great leader' .. it chills the Silver Spider to deep in Alan's core.. he thinks 'wit kinda power hus thys guy goat? wid Siobhan really bæ able tæ gee thys guy a doin?.. thys is geen mæ the fear.. an nohin oar næwan gees mæ the fear..Ah better git back tæ the team..' ]

Meanwhile in an abandoned bunker; Alaska ... Dave's 'old friend' is Arnim Zola.

We see outside the bunker.. heavy snowfall, a blizzard..

Nighthawk confronts Dave: .. saying' Ha! I knew you were evil!..
Dave: ye dinnæ unnerstaun..

they fight.. but when Dave uses an EMP to disrupt Nighthawk, Nighthawk is knocked out.. Dave sits and waits for him to recover.. offers him his hand to get up which NH accepts.. the two then go into the bunker together. they have not spoken.

Flashback: Arnim Zola and Dave Shaw were bros/ tight friends.. Arnim was treated badly in the hydra reality (they treated him like an AI janitor) Arnim with the assistance of Dave ran the Hydra railroad underground (sneaking people out to freedom).

Dave: Oh wow bro! .. Ah never thought Ah wid see ye again!

Arnim: Cease your prattling! I do not know you!

Dave: whoa.. yeah.. Ah come fæ a reality where hydra was in control..

Arnim interrupts: A perfect one then I imagine! HAHA

Dave: well.. naw.. we were bros.. Ah met ye when trying tæ leach some hydra IP protocols.. Ah ken anoer hacker wis ben.. bit somethin wis aff.. ye were *too* fast fur a human.. we ended up IRQ chattin.. an..

Arnim: What?? you added me on FB? haha

Dave: Arn.. Hydra treated ye lit their AI janitor!

Arnim: Preposterous!

Dave: Ah can prove it! ... Ah ken yur greatest secret.. the wan ye widnæ let ken tæ anywan!

Arnim: What??

Dave pulls a chip from under his belt..

Arnim in terror: Noo!!

Dave: The C31 chip..

Arnim: NOOO!!

Dave: We ran the Hydra Unnergroon Railroad the gither.. ye gee mæ this chip and telt mæ; 'if I ever go insane, activate this chip, it is the only thing to kill me if I become a virus.' .. Ah wis keeping it as a memento o' oor friendship, a memento o' the unnergroon an the guid we did the gither..

Arnim: DO NOT DO IT! .. (softer) freund.. I now see how close we were in your reality.. you can see I'm no virus.. I am just as I was before we met..

The whole time he has been awake Armin has been busy hacking Nighthawk's systems.. sparks fly out of Nighthawk's head.. we have a scene where we see Nighthawk's consciousness being uploaded to the Zola servers.. Armin takes over Nighthawk and attacks Dave.. Dave is injured.. and thinks 'man thyt wis ma last EMP ootside'.. as he walks over to Dave to kill him, Dave shouts in anger, the bunker is deep and has a massively high roof, a large swarm of bats are disturbed by the noise, fly down and attack Armin controlled Nighthawk's body.. eventually the bats clear and Armin begins walking towards Dave again.. but at that moment a huge robot crashes through the ceiling landing on Armin..

Nighthawk in the robot body looks down at Dave on the floor..

'We weren't properly introduced.. Hi.. my name's Kyle , but I was known as Nighthawk.. think I'll change that to..

Dave interrupts in awe with bated strained breath: ..Ultrahawk

UH: Exactly what I was thinking.

Dave picks up the old Nighthawk head which was not smashed, downloads Armin to a USB key and Ultrahawk picks Dave up the pair begin to fly back to the Avengers compound.

When they arrived Alan is waiting outside.. he is in terror..

Dave: Ye aweriȝht?

SS: naw..thys guy is geen mæ the fear. Dave, we've goat a problem.

UH: Maybe I can help?

Dave: we've goat a new ally..

SS: Aye well.. him an a hunner Leps n we mibe bæ in wæy a chænce..

Dave: whoa..

SS to UH: Nice tæ meet ye.. [hands Dave the board and in doing so begins to transform back] .. Ah'm the Widow Spider..An Ah fear næwan oar nohin.. an Ah'm terrified.

[we pan out to see the trio.. stilled.. panning out further and further.. until we are in space.. we see the galaxy then the galaxy clusters.. then the super clusters.. until we see Lothika The Watcher.. face as cold and hard as granite.. then for a split second his eyebrow twitches.. he seems worried]

Continued in Part 3

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Did a six issue arc:

Miss an episode?
See here:

Episode 1: Euro-Avengers - Assemble!
Episode 2: Euro-Avengers 'Matter of Opinion'
Episode 3 : Euro-Avengers 'I Reality Love You'
Episode 4: Euro-Avengers 'Another Day in Paradise'
Episode 5: Euro-Avengers 'What a Tangled Web We Weave When First We Practise to Perceive.." + BONUS 'Exposition Theater'
Episode 6 : Euro-Avengers 'BOSS FIGHT!'

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I am having to do things differently than before as I lost a ton of work due to an AMD vs Windows driver conflict = BSOD.. not Bloggers fault but I hope in future a feature of 'autosave unpublished edits' is added.

Stúff

Friday, 17 November 2017

Scottish Spiderman Concept Fanfic art

Reality-Avengers (Euro-Avengers) Tri-Annual [Fanfic] : Part One

Reality-Avengers (Euro-Avengers) Tri-Annual [Fanfic] : Part Two

Breast Cup Sizes.. my thoughts on standardization..

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