do do do dooodo do do do there for you when the rain starts to fall do do do dooodo scene fades in to monica standing by a table decorating a cake
chandler is standing by her and says 'thats some very MANLY pink icing for Joeys birthday cake.. hoo RAh!' audience laughs.. Monica : its pretty. its cheap. its all we had left at work!' audience laughs.
Made up a Friends story for my ex while she was bored waiting on a job interview.
Davi
David
Phoebe comes out of monica and chandlers bedroom.. the couple are startled by her appearance. Phoebe ' oh did you not know I was in there.. I fell asleep about an hour ago..' Chandler turns to monica and says 'but we were just having.. 30 mins ago; Monica: I know!.. Phoebe.. did you perchance hear us doing anything in there? Phoebe: no. why? what did you do in there? Monica: nothing. Monica turns around to finish decorating the cake and Phoebe sexy-growls at chandler
David
Monica: this icing has to set, while chandler and I pickup the noisemakers Phoebe DO NOT LET anyone touch this cake!' Phoebe agr
David
Scene: chandler and monica leave, phoebe watches them leave then shrugs her shoulders and goes back to the bedroom to sleep. few minutes later Joey enters.. sees the cake and speaks out loud to himself: WHAT DID MONICA TELL YOU? DON'T EAT THE CAKE.. DON'T EVEN TOUCH IT.. DON'T EVEN LOOK AT IT! now where that milk for my milkshake Joeys got a thirst on! Joey covers his eyes from the cake to 'NOT EVEN LOOK' at it.. he is struggling to open the fridge door with one hand and as he manages to get the milk out he slips and his other hand goes SPLAT in the middle of his birthday cake.. at the moment Phoebe comes out and is shocked.. 'Joseph Francis Tribbiani.. what do you think you are doing??
David
David
Joeys tries to lick the cake off his fingers.. Phoebe: joey Joey JOEY! stop stop you're making it worse!.. Joey: 'Deliciously worse!.. it was an accident!' Phoebe 'Call me skeptical' Joey: noo.. I was just trying to some milk and I slipped .. honest!'..Phoebe: well if Monica shouts at me enough .. I'll crack and lie and say you planned it" audience laughs.
David
Scene: Ross in the coffee house eyes the new female Barista.. her name tag says Keighley, she is pretty. They have a brief exchange of words that has a slight sexual tension. We pan out and see Rachel. Rachel: I'M RIGHT BEHIND YOU' audience laughs.
David
Rachel: hey! hey! snap out it! what did you get Joey for his birthday? Ross; the same thing I get him every year.. 12 coupon Sub Sandwich voucher. Rachel: so you think I shouldn't have got him sneakers? .. Ross: WHY would you get him sneakers??.. Rachel: your probably right stupid gift. hmm.. they ARE the right size for me, maybe I should just keep them? audience laughs.
David
Monica and Chandler enter the coffee house: Chandler: Hey guys.. guys: heyyy.. Rachel: whats that?? looking at a box monica was carrying.. Monica: THIS is the REAL cake'..Chandler: C'MON no way Joey isnt going to eat that cake.. its a fake one. one for him to ruin and a real one for all us .. Scene back at Monica and chandlers apt. Joey and Phoebe are using toothpaste to fill the hand print in the cake
David
Phoebe exclaims: THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN EASIER IF YOU HADNT EATEN SO MUCH OF IT OFF YOUR FINGERS!' Joey' it was delicious though
David
Phoebe.. not just the lettering icing.. Joey comes out with some pink toothpaste, when they are finished the cake looks pretty close to before Joey smooshed it.. Phoebe: now lets just HOPE no one tastes it! Joey :which is uncommon for cakes.. as NO ONE LIKES CAKES! audience laughs.
David
Monica and Chandler return home. Monica notes: WOW Joey new life for you! you didnt touch the cake!' Joeys 'Yeah well.. you said.. DONT TOUCH THE CAKE!'
David
Scene: later at the party.. Ross comes up to Rachel and says: This chick is seriously weird! She said she ate seahorses! SEAHORSES! I told her how weird that was.. and I DONT think I will be having sex tonight! not that I really want to SEAHORSES REALLY!?' Joey approaches Keighley ' How you doin?' Keighley 'I'm good thanks.. your friend Ross freaked out at me earlier.. I dont think he likes me..' Joey' dont mind Ross .. he is a bit of a dork when it comes to fine looking women.. except Rachel.. wow he got LUUCKYY.. hehe'.. Keighley cuts off a slice of the fake cake.. as Monica comes up to him and says : Joey I have a confession to make..Joey: Keighley you might now want.. oh what is it Monica?
David
not want*
Monica: I did something you might be mad about.. but once you see.. I think you'll be OKAY with it' Joey: It's funny you mentions all that I did something YOU might be mad about.. but once you see.. I HOPE you'll be OKAY with it
Keighley eats some of the cake. Joey looks horrified. Keighley: Who made this cake? Monica: I did.. I'm a chef!.. Keighley: its very.. minty! audience laugh.
David
Phoebe comes out of Monica and Chandlers bedroom.. and comments to herself ' I HAVE GOT TO STOP SLEEPING IN THEIR BED.. I almost missed Joeys party!' Everyone in the party starts sing Happy Birthday to Joey.. we can see Keighley has loads of mashed toothpaste and cake stuck to her teeth.. at the end of the song Keighley comes up to Joey and says ' I know I came with Ross.. but that seems like a bust..fancy a kiss Birthday boy?' Joey leans in to kiss Keighley and then pulls back and says ' OH MAN THAT TOOTHPASTE IS OVERPOWERING what are you trying to do.. kill me with Minty freshness?' audience laughs. Monica scowls at Joey. Joey nervously smiles.
David
Scene: its the middle of the night in the apartment: Chandler screams out.. 'GET OUT GET OUT OF OUR HOUSE!' Phoebe sheepishly walks out of their bedroom dischevlied .. WOW that was a good sleep ' END
Soo.. Netflix cancelled Iron Fist and Luke Cage in quick succession, THEN announced they had an extra 2 Billion dollars for 'original programming'.. I *think* I see how much NF was paying Marvel for both the rights to those shows and the running cost. wow.. that's a lotta cash!
Now to the beef and chips..
Why doesn't NF buy outright a comic publishing house? They make a deal with the publishing house that everything will stay the same except now NF will use the character rights to further their brand by making original shows with said characters in a shared universe.. I mean why waste those skills and resources learned in the MCU by letting all that talent they amassed drift away?
Think about it..
2000AD
The Judge Dredd franchise is doing nothing after its 2012 outstanding cult movie.
Rogue Trooper.. wow I am privileged to say I read these as a child.. is the story of an anonymous soldier genetically created who goes in search of his creator to bring him to justice for all his genetic crimes.. sounds standard fair, but if you can imagine it how I remember it.. it's a tragic heart wrenching tale of constant; betrayal, isolation, feeling of worthlessness, chaos and evaluation of self worth. If told correctly it is easily equivalent to the tragic tale of Bruce Banner. 2000AD would have been an excellent choice for purchasing a comic publisher. The Universal Soldier movies were AWFUL compared to the full run in the comics, which was iirc an updated version of Rogue Trooper but instead giving the soldier mind boggling super powers. IMHO.. Rogue Trooper for the 'try not to cry' story alone is far superior.
If done correctly, the Judge Universe which shares Judge Dredd, Judge Anderson (female PSI corps) and Judge Rico.. there is SO much that could be done with those characters alone.The tone is very adult across all of 2000AD's storylines as they were aimed at 15/16/18 + but not younger.
Strontium Dogs is a very complicated tale, that currently I am struggling to remember, bit like Tank Girl meets Mad Max, not a story I personally liked, but seems popular with fans.
Dark Horse
Erm, Dark Horse, Image and Valiant compete for the third spot behind Marvel and DC .. but IIRC most of DH's character movie rights are sold off now, making it a nightmare of legal difficulties. (HellBoy, The Mask, SinCity)
Image
Legendary comic book artist Todd McFarlane's own publishing house. I don't know these characters and if the stories are any good, so I am not the person to recommend or suggest ill investment in them. I have no idea.
Valiant
I'll be blunt.. Valiant is pretty much a clone of Marvel, with slightly gritter stories and not too shy to clone a little DC every now and then either.
case in point:
Sony has been.. 'sniffing' around Valiant for the last couple of years but doesn't have any investment contracts that are so concrete, if NF bought Valiant to make a 'ValiantVerse' Valiant couldn't jump ship on Sony.
Their biggest character is X-O Manowar, think; a time displaced Iron Man discovering the future, I don't think it's a great story to be honest, so a fresh take would probably better better than the .. 'lets explain the present date to a person for the past motif' that is slightly overdone, especially with superheroes. (NOT Altered Carbon which is *excellent*)
What makes Valiant a good investment? 29 years of stories to choose from and many characters. What makes it a bad investment? The sheer work to get the characters recognised. Not as sure an investment as 2000AD, especially with Judge Dredd on the roster and that blazingly good movie in 2012. see : Dredd
To sum up..
I believe NF should outright buy 2000AD lock, stock, kitchen sink, all barrells, light switches and bulbs. Time Inc which was the owner of 2000AD and many many more publications, sold Time Inc UK to Epiris.. see here for more details:
"Time Inc UK is the second business to be acquired through Epiris Fund II, the first was the Portals De La Rue specialist paper business acquired for £61m at the beginning of the month. The fund can commit up to £200m to any single deal. Various possible price tags have been attached to the Time Inc UK business, varying from £150m to £120m."
The above is for 40 different magazines, various publications and publication houses.
Given an educated guess from those figures, this would place 2000AD (if Epiris is willing to sell) at around £10 million to £40 million. I feel confident that Eipris doesn't know what they have with 2000AD and how much it's worth. 40 years of storytelling making adaptations a breeze for the screen. Highly identifiable characters, especially Judge Dredd and Judge Anderson..
If you have no idea about Anderson .. ohw flip wow! she is basically a superhero judge with every bit as much presence as Dredd. genius who reads minds, who can track criminals through walls by their thoughts, make them shoot themselves if she pushes hard enough, but if she pushes too hard she has seizures, and oh wow you don't want seizures when you are in the middle of a gangwar .. flip! that show HAS to happen! (updated 16th/Dec/2019: man I need to sort out whats canon to Dredd and whats not) My take on Judge Anderson would be:
I would simply call it 'Psi-Corps'.. Judge Anderson is the most senior Psi-Corps Judge who is not a Chief Judge, she is addicted to auto-sensation; reading her own mind while feeling sensations, not in a creepy way, but she is slightly auto-sexual, finding her own body sexually attractive (Canon: Anderson is actually Hyper-sexual in the comics, this has came out in different ways, however I am suggesting a new way iirc) , showers often, showering which causes her to climax, in the Psi-Corps this is taboo as it causes psynaptic feedback to degrade pathways, most who do this burn out after a couple of months, she has been doing this for 6 years without even another Psi catching her, she is that good, level 5 Psi (Canon: Level 5 Psi is in the comics) , genius and stunningly beautiful, physically perfect.. Psi's can't have 'normal' relationships as they know everything their partner is thinking, sometimes feeling (Correct Canon), so they are discouraged from sexual activity (my suggestion only) , it's not a law.. but well known that sexual behavior is considered 'unhealthy' within the Psi-Corps. I can easily imagine a scenario where, Judge Anderson is often called in for Sexual Orientation training, which makes her think one of the Chief Judges suspects her secret, the training is images of wood bark rotting and rotting meat, readings from plutonic poetry. Heart monitors are in many of the showers, but she uses one of the malfunctioned cubicles.. a few malfunctioned years ago and no one caught them. The same one everytime.. imagine the episode where they find out about the malfunction.. she would go off the rails, Dredd would have to track her down (crossover, suggestion season 3 finale, post credits season 1, maintenance is in the showering area in the background, two or three mentions about 'malfunctions in hygiene areas' in season 2).
I would set the movie 'Dredd' as her first day being mentored by Dredd, Anderson (16yo) full of hormones and lack of Psi training is failing out of every test until she meets Dredd as per the 2012 movie. The Psi Corps being a long term secret project at that time then during the 9 years elapsed between the 2012 movie and TV show, Psi-Corps has become a fully integrated arm of the Judges.
Her story is easily Sherlock Holmes, replacing heroin addiction with her Psi auto-sensation addiction (which would have great ratings appeal), she is actually a master detective even besides her Psi mind reading, even outshining Dredd at times, his application of 'The Law' is perfect but she can sometimes have a deeper understanding (she showed this with chief judges before and even in the Dredd movie).
Judge Rico, Dredd's secret clone (Correct Canon) , I'd start his story in MegaCity 2, it would be an entire show that was near identical to the main Dredd show, using a similar but different looking main actor, a second tier off-season show, so when fans are missing Dredd, Rico gives them their action buzz.
I'd layer the shows, starting with Psi-Corps and Judge Anderson, then do Dredd full out action, then 'MegaCity 2' Rico's 'corrupt anti-hero' show.. putting Dredd and Rico on a collision path, while Rico is Dredd's clone & is equally skilled, he is not as smart as Dredd, his application of the law is imperfect, he does 'corrupt' things better compared to Dredd.. in my musing here, he is the top Judge who is not a Chief Judge for MegaCity 2. He is an exceptional schemer, but as far as regular duties goes, Dredd is in fact smarter.
I'd put Dredd vs Rico as a season 10 Finale, don't buy the first house you see because 'it's a house', I'd make it a very slow boil. I'd take the idea of the Death Corps and make them (Psi) Chief Judges who died but their Psi imprint lived on inside bio-mech augments, they are trying to breakthrough into the minds of the Psi Corps, but instead of turning Anderson into Buffy, begin with Psi-Corps vs Death Corps for a single episode then move Death Corps over to Dredd. Judge Death is a Chief Judge of the Death Corps and a recurring villain, this could easily be done by the former (dead) judges taking control of holograms.
We don't need to throw down big boss villains for each episode/season, as Dredd the comic was rarely like that, like Ma-Ma for the movie, she was a small villian that because of direction and story was made huge, Dredd stories are often like this; self-contained. Background story arcs, need to be much much subtler than that, think; the subtlety of Rick and Morty's background arcs. Huge build-ups to Death Corps over seasons. Make us earn our sympathy for Rico.. that some will be team Rico and some team Dredd for the finale. Show us that while Rico is evil, we can still identify with him in a profound sense .. this could come from Rico slowly learning about his past.
Anderson rookie'd under Dredd for three years. When she was 19 years old, her final night before becoming a full Judge, they slept together, but this wasn't a 'me too' thing, quite the opposite, Dredd is pretty uncomfortable about any and all intimacy but he knew that night would be her last chance to have sex, and never again due to Psi-Corps policies on intimacy(Suggestion only) .. then grew a dichotomy between them of great trust and respect, he is her mentor who was kind when she needed him to be and her now at 25 years of age.. Dredd is proud to have mentored her, she is the most superb Psi-Corps officer he could have ever wished to mentor. They never speak of that night, like it is forgotten (they actually have NO interest in a romance together) but something deeper than merely a short lived romance grew, a deep friendship. Anderson is one of the few officers Dredd won't bark orders to. She often eavesdrops on Dredds mind, however he knows this and uses it as a channel of communication.
(Surprisingly.. iirc.. This actually happened in the comics, it was during the time Anderson had became a Chief judge in the wake of the death of many chief judges.. it was a version where Dredd and Anderson were around the same age and Dredd hadn't mentored her.. OR it may have been Rico pretending to be Dredd.. I forget which)
Psi-Corps if done badly would be a feeble femi-drama, one woman strives against male arrogance, instead of us watching that she earns what she has by correct action regardless of gender (which is what Anderson is actually like; she earns her respect regardless of gender by correct action).
Done correctly, a hyper-sexualized vs hyper-repressed tale 'cop drama' on a intellectual par with Sherlock .. in our modern day the clergy deal with sexual discipline, in Anderson's world the pressure on her is immense and the only way she can release that pressure is by feeding her addiction, she is unique in that having done that for this length of time, she is not brain dead.
(My suggestion) Two months usually mean 'burn out' in which the Psi officer goes somewhat insane/dementia .. in the early trials before the Psi corps was established properly, many Psi subjects shot their partners due to; feedback sensory loops/sensory overload, climax psychology of 'changing faces trauma', 'Vanity Trauma' seeing themselves as their partner (in-love with them) saw them meaning they couldn't stop looking in mirrors, Psi subjects became convinced what they experienced was 'real' and their partner had cheated on them, they found out about illegal things their partner had done in their life and some Psi subjects commited suicide.. many other cases, all adding up to the Psi Corps policy of no sexual conduct; no partners. This is why Dredd would be such a good deal for Anderson's 'last night', as Dredd pretty much hates intimacy, so none of the above would apply and she could feel the sensations and still feel her own identity 'herself' and not him.
Like in the movie, we see her get aroused while Dredd tends to her wounds, she says nothing, nothing is ever spoken between them, I would continue this 'unspokenness' throughout their friendship, she admires him at times and that sometimes sparks into arousal on her part, but never on Dredd's side (this is actually iirc as per the comics). They have no romantic intent towards each other as I said, it's much much more complicated than romance, which itself is already complicated, they both feel their deep friendship and.. in a city where everyone turns on everyone, even other judges, to find someone you can trust.. is a price beyond measure.
Rogue Trooper
The tragic tale of Rogue Trooper (which could be set in the same universe as Dredd etal~ except in the future) the poetry of his story is also about isolation, so isolating it from the furious action of Dredd would keep Rogue Troopers emotional integrity.
Rogue Troopers story is about self nihilism, a real and tangible one, whereas humans can debate our Creator all day long (I'm Catholic myself and believe).. Rogue Trooper can't have poetical and moral insights of that vein, or perhaps he can, but one thing is sure, he knows *who* his creator is.. a man who is the head of corporation that is at war. We follow his slow journey of awakening.. as he sees his brothers die for what seems to him to be no reason, the commander who betrays them for profit, not the last person to betray him.. and over the course of 18 years as he finds out more and more about his 'father' who has tried to kill him ceaselessly..we slowly find out more about ourselves through his eyes.
If this story was done badly, it would be a racial trope.. it has NOTHING to do with race and EVERYTHING to do with genetic offspring and Man's responsibility to what we create.
To sum up..in the episode (SPOILER)
To sum up..in the episode where Poe died in Altered Carbon.. this would be EVERY episode of Rogue Trooper, like Lemony Snicket's SOUE but without any humor of any kind, a kind person taught to kill, who goes on a righteous journey only to be confronted by the harsh bitterness of humanity. It was a bit of a right of passage for me, after 18 years in real life, reading the conclusion to Rogue Trooper ..wow.
If I was writing/directing Rogue Trooper it would hardly have any dialogue, which coincidentally mean it would be more open to international appeal, a cycle of tragedy in every episode, 1 step forward for 10 steps back. Played much like a sad music video for 1 hour to 1 and a 1/2 hour episodes, we see Rogue Trooper struggle with his genetic programming of cooperation and his innate kindness versus the bitter truth of the world he inhabits. After a couple of seasons I would suggest he could have his 'Fr1day' moniker on his helmet as his own identity grows in proportion to his hate of 'father'. 'father' who is a war criminal in the same league of Stalin and Pol Pot.. one lone Rogue soldier will take him down against all odds, against tides of betrayal and callus hate.
(Update 16th/Dec/2019)
When I first wrote this I was unaware of the purchase of Millarworld by Netflix.
' END
